french-politics

And so Marine Le Pen was beaten

I live in a neighbourhood with a majority of people of northern and western African descent.

Amongst the roars of joy I heard a woman.

She was shouting “We’re saved”, triumphant, ecstatic, relieved.

Yet I know tonight fascists will be coming down  on MOGAI peeps and PoCs, and get into fights with antifa. 

And I shudder at the thought that it could have been even worse.

“Our country will be sold to the great capital, but at least we’ll be alive and free to see it and be against it” is what the streets tell me.

But the violence is still here.

The injustice is still here.

And during his whole time as our President, we will remind Macron that he’s not here because we want him to be there. He’s here because we want to destroy him and everything he represents. The corruption of our state. The influence of US ultraliberalism. The tyranny of the 1%. We’ll be there every second to tell him that he can take his wishy-washy socialism in name only and shove it right up his arse, because we’re better than this.

We will fight for what is right. We will stand united, as a people of many colours. For freedom, equality, and solidarity.

On se retrouve aux législatives, tas de merde.

So for the lot of you who are still blissfully unaware of French presidential elections:

Here are our main candidats:

- Marine Lepen: candidate of the nationalist/white pride party. Believed to be at the head of the election for the first round. Looks like Donald Trump if he was a ‘competent’ politician. Literally the antichrist, because her father is definitively Satan and we should have drown her in the village pond when we had the chance. We didn’t, now she will bring the apocalypse upon us. (is accused to have stolen 300 000€ from the European parlement)


- François Fillon: Margaret Tatcher with worse hair and eyebrows. Candidate of the catholic pride and the anti-gay. Is Harassed by a duck which accuses him of having stolen 900 000€ to the French parlement and of having too many sugar daddies. Uses to be the leader of the election, it was before the duck business. (he is now official charged for fictitious employments).


- Emmanuel Macron: Populist for bobos (bourgeois who think themselves of the left but not to the point of actually doing something for others). As just given is program two weeks ago. Doesn’t seem confident on foreign policy. Thinks that forbidding smartphone in middle school will put an end to social reproduction. Thinks that labour code doesn’t apply to young people. Thinks anti-gay have been humiliated when gay marriage was established. Is supported by NM Rothschild & Sons. Is believed the be second in the first round of the election.


- Benoit Hamon: Lying hobbit. No seriously he really looks like a hobbit (ask @onestenrepublique) and is already withdrawing some of his promises. Socialist party candidat but his party isn’t really supporting him. Will probably not win.


Jean-Luc Mélenchon: Angry socialist that passes for an angry communist. Is against the European Union. Will appear to the masses through holograms to teach them about Marx and the working class’ struggle. Populist too. Is stealing votes from Hamon.

If you want to have even worse nightmare just let me add that the closest constitution to the French one is the Russian one…

Marine Le Pen is an avid Holocaust denier and all-around horrible, hideous person.  Thus, I get that French mayor’s point when, upon realizing his town had overwhelmingly voted for her, said: “I feel like quitting now. I don’t want to devote my life to these assholes.”

That might be one of the most powerful political quotes of 2017.  

I am a child of Europe

I am a child of the European Union. A child of sharing, of multiculturality, of the absence of border between countries.
I would like to cordially invite Marine Le Pen and Marion Maréchal-Le Pen to go fuck themselves. Keep being some racist pieces of shit, but in silence.
Stop spreading hate. Stop spreading fake news. Stop spreading your stupidity to desperate people.