french toast girl

Favorite texts from aphtextsfromnordics

“did it hurt when you broke through the earth’s crust ascending from hell”

- Norway

“yer like an evil little Icelandic troll. That lives deep in the misty mountains. All alone. That comes out only to scare others and wreak havoc.”

- Sweden

“I have a fanfiction account its mr-fluffy bunny”

- Sweden

“how do you confess your love to someone without getting a restraining order”

- Sweden

“I LOVE YOU DAMMIT”

- Sweden

“Yer the icelandic troll”

- Sweden

“your alien fairy godmother”

- Norway

“my alien fairy godmother told me”

- Sweden

“HELP HELEPELE BELP NORWAY”

- Finland

“Sweden, you have five minutes to go home and comfort a traumatized finn that is rambling about a divorced, xenophobic ghost in finnish”

- Norway

“geez what am I supposed to do about your unsatisfied tiny dick”

- Norway

“It’s THORSday, I’m LOKI to be alive :DDDDDD”

- Finland

“ARE YOU A BRONY TOO”

- Norway

“it was love at first chair”

- Sweden

“do not question my ikeasexuality”

- Sweden

“Get in loser, we’re going to Ikea”

- Sweden

“we were flirting. i compared you to vacuum cleaners. i thought this was a sign of our relationship blossoming”

- Sweden

“so you wann a get hoRNy w me sweden? SWEERDEN ANSWER”

- drunk!Finland

“wow that is some kickass teletubby fighting skills”

- Norway

“open up to me like you opened your legs to the person who got you pregnant”

- Norway

“IM THE ONE GIVING BIRTH DIPSHIT”

- Norway

“surprise bitch. Bet u thought you’d seen the last of me”

- Sealand

“hello norway. such nor. much way.”

- Sealand

“such eyebrows. much ugly. very mean”

- Sealand

“SVE I FOUND THIS PENIS CHART ACROSS EUROPE LETS CHECK IT OUT”

Dickmark Denmark

“if I throw a stick will u leave”

- Iceland

“ICE IDE LAND IXELNAX ICE LAND HALP IXE HELP ME”

- Finland

“I DON’T NEED A FUCKING MAGIC BOOK I AM NORWAY BITCH I RULE”

- Norway

“so far I’m carrying a purse and pony dolls around the store getting weird looks from ppl. pLEASE tell me you need something reasonable”

- Denmark

“denmark is bragging about his boobs. Finland is freaking out and I can’t find iceland.”

- Sweden

“LOL DOUBLE DS BABY”

- Dickmark Denmark

“GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE. WAKE THE FUCK UP”

- Dickmark Denmark

“ps ur ugly”

- Finland

“get your party hat woot woot”

- Sweden

“LOOK AT THIS ROOM TREASURES UNTOLD. HOW MUCH SHIT CAN ONE BATHROOM HOLD”

- Dickmark Denmark

“what is love baby don’t hurt me”

- Sweden

“When you see an angry Norwegian with magical powers running towards your windshield, you’ll panic a little”

- Iceland

“ICE ICE BABY NOOO”

- Hong Kong

“weaboos unite”

- Sweden

“fee fi fo fum. Here comes the swedish scum”

- Dickmark Denmark

“paint me like one of your french toast girls”

- Denmark

“THIS PENIS IS ON FIYAHHHHHH”

- Dickmark Denmark

“i told you no dating until you’re 50”

- Sweden

“what does it mean for one’s ovaries to explode”

- Sweden

“you people need to calm the fuck down”

- Japan

“dont put your peeing problems on me”

- Norway

“DID YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR BOOBLESS IMPOSTER GIRLFRIEND”

- Norway

“omg poor grape!! D:”

- Finland

“I was going to think of a gay pun butt fuck it”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NORWAY TOLD ME YOU SHOVED YOUR HEAD IN THE TURKEYS ASS”

- Iceland

“kajsvsjahkj macerna”

- Sweden

“yah evil turkey bastard”

- Sweden

“YOU FUCKING DEMENTED MUSHROOM YOU SCARED ME”

- Norway

“BABAYY UNICORRN”

- Dickmark Denmark

“germbooger”

- Sweden

“Way to hit your low point”

- Iceland

“I HAVE STRINGY SHIT IN MY BEAUTIFUL MANE JUST TELL ME”

- Denmark

“I’m using your wand to unclog the toilet again”

- Dickmark Denmark

“Your skills are too suave for us suppress them”

- Norway

“what the hell I thought you were gay. you don’t belong in this group”

- Sweden

“fee fo fum bitch”

- Sweden

“prove your gay lord powers in battle then”

- Iceland

“If you’re asking about what shampoo I use for my eyebrows again, I’m not answering.”

- England

“LIKE IF YOU SAID OH IT’S A BLENDER. I’D TAP THAT. I’D TAP THAT TO THE HIGHEST SETTING I’D STILL BE COOL”

- Finland

“LEAVE ME AND CHAIR CHAN ALONE”

- Sweden

“YAH JUST FUCKING POUR HOT WATER ON THE FUCKING POWDER AND DRINK IT WITH YOUR FUGLY MOUTH”

- Denmark

“NUH UH YOU CAN’T DENY THE FULL HOMO WITH SWISSAUS”

- Iceland

“QUICK WHO DO YOU WANT UP YOUR ASS PRUSSIA OR SWITZERLAND ITS AN EMERGENCY”

- Iceland

“get in the ikea drawer if you want to live”

- Sweden

“I DRINK TWO FISH SHITS PER DAY SO I WONT GET FUNNY IN THE HEAD”

- Iceland

“weener what”

- Norway

“tally ho”

- Norway

“Dude if we let you join, Russia will come after us. He’d be like standing in our backyard at 2am with his pipe saying ‘where’s mah bitch’ ya followin me”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NO NO NO I WAS BORN TO BE A SPARKLY DANE”

- Dickmark Denmark

“SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DENMARK”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NORGE TINKER BELL IS ATTACKING ME”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NO FINLAND DONT DRINK FROM THEIR GOBLET”

- Norway

“THESE THREE FATASS TROLLS YELLING IN NORWEGIAN”

- Iceland

“they do but I told them to fe fi fo fuck off”

- Sweden

“I DONT NEED YOUR TACKY ANIME REFERENCES RIGHT NOW”

- Finland

“your distressed sassiness is showing again”

- Iceland

“looks like santa had a little too much to drink ehehehehe”

- Norway

“and y'all call me the grinch of christmas”

- Iceland

“AHEM. I don’t sing. My vocal chords just make sounds that make it seem as if I were singing.”

- Sweden

“You have a pretty voice, Sve :3”

- Finland

“one point for papa woot woot”

- Sweden

“IM SO GAY NORGE HELP ME”

- Norgay Dickmark Denbutt Denmark

“Spain’s got the booty pass it on”

- Iceland

“hot damn”

- Sweden

“OY YOU NORDICS FOCUS ON YOUR OWN CHAPPED ASSES SPAIN’S AINT AN INVITATION”

- Romano

“why is Denmark screaming and running into the bathroom with an extra pair of pants”

- Norway

“IT DOESN’T MATTER I FOUND HIM THE LITTLE SHIT IS ON THE ROOF”

- Norway

“A massager? oH NAW”

- Dickmark Denmark

“IM A GOOD NOODLE”

- Dickmark Denmark

“can you feel the ikea tonight”

- Sweden

anonymous asked:

Dean is french toast that is burnt on the outside and raw on the inside (my gf experienced burnt yet raw french toast at girl scouts and told me all about it). Or Dean is worse than school lunch. Maybe both combined? Gaaaahhh!!!!¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡

holy shit what girl scout camp did she go to that happened to me too- AND EW SCHOOL LUNCH GOOD JOB HE IS SICK AND GROSS