People think that “you can do it” is a good way of motivation and it’s true but sometimes “You can’t do that” is more powerful. Especially when you are in the bottom and the only alternative is going up.
You’ll just be showing us your idea at first. If it’s accepted, we’ll have you write up the full article later. To submit a pitch, click this link, which takes you to the Cracked Comedy Workshop (again, it won’t be visible unless you do the steps above first). You’ll see a whole bunch of threads full of advice and archives of accepted articles. You can read around in there all you like, but for now, scroll down until you see the “New Topic” button.
Click that, and pitch your idea. A moderator will then come into the thread you created and give you more instructions, showing you how the pitch process works.
How much do I get paid?
For your first four accepted articles, you will get $150 each. From your fifth article onward, you will get $250. If your article becomes one of the ten highest traffic-pullers of the month, you’ll earn an additional bonus payment of $100.
“My neck is killing me” Day 19 #Drawmybeast Since we recently moved we’ve been working on bad desk, this kind of work sometimes damages our back, neck, eyes… so try to improve your environment if you want to do this for long time x_x
“Listen bro, I need to sleep and you need to STOP making imaginaries lines, we are done working today!” this is me talking to my brain after so many hours of work, closing my eyes and keep seeing Photoshop. Day 18 #Drawmybeast
Ever wanted to get that book edited? Now’s the time.
Hey all. I just landed a great job in Japan that starts in March, but because I let my present employer know ahead of time, they gave me the boot. This means come January, I’m out of job. If I can’t find work, I can’t get to my new job. That’s why I’m coming to you.
I am an experienced long-form editor with a degree in editing and publishing. I have over 2500+ consulting hours with a mix of fiction and nonfiction.
Need something proofread?I got you.
Is your plot being a ninny bitch?I can help you charge ‘er up.
Don’t know why your murder scene has no tension?Boy, I sure do.
Revising an area paper? A thesis? A dissertation? Get an editor.
Totally new writer? Never worked with an editor?No problem.
An old pro?Give this pair of young eyes a try.
Is your resume in need to new life?I LOVE MAKING RESUMES
Need help with a query? Trying to find an agent? Are you unsure about the entire publishing industry?It’s my job to tell you all about it.
Trying to get into med school? Grad school? Just school??Not to brag, but I have a med school essay success rate of 100%. No shit.
And as a sample of my work:
Now, if this intimidates you, please don’t worry. These clients were all ready and prepared for some hard-hitting feedback. If that’s not you, no problem– I can be gentle.
Because my life is literally about to tank without some form of income, I’m reducing my normal rate by half.
I normally charge $45/hr for developmental editing, $30/hr for copyediting and $25/hr for proofreading. My prices are already cheap.
Right now I will do any type of editing you want, on any kind of document, for only $12/hr.
That said, I will happily negotiate.
I can edit about 10 pages an hour, depending on how polished the work already is.
My goal is not only to correct your document, but help you understand your mistakes so you don’t make them again. I literally want to make you a better writer.
Basically, writing without an editor is like going outside with only underpants on. Not only will I get you some clothes, you’ll be damn stylish.