You are

Love was
Lies
Late night conversations
Spending the last cent of your pocket money on flowers, dinners, and movie tickets

Love was
Selfish
Missing out on conversations with friends
Crying alone at night and calling back over and over

Love was
Secrecy
Forgetting everything you were and wanted to be
Drowning out your hopes and dreams for theirs only to carry the pain every moment

And then you happened
Lost in an unforgiving world
All smiles and delicately bound in simplicity
The truth in every lie

You are
Truth
The defibrillator that I didn’t know I needed
The reminder of where love begins

You are
Love
As I have never known it to be
Me in a way I cannot say – where this heart beats louder and harder

You are
Kismet
The late night silences that I am no longer scared of
The aide-mémoire to love without losing myself

You are
Here
The now and all that is yet to happen
And where I know that love is to fly and not fall

You are what I know now. The best way I can love and know love is not by losing myself in you. But, growing with you and for myself. You are…

2.

“you don’t have to twist my words
into something that will poke you.

maybe they weren’t even needles to begin with,
but you speak of swords.”

Tanvi R

shades of loneliness

a crayola box of grays, these feelings, 

so many brilliantly silent shades of loneliness 

that everyone’s world is stained with, despite everything

killed passion, shot love, empty hearts, torn souls, 

ripped dreams, stormy minds, 

and in my case a chronic case of selfishness 

but i draw a tiny pinpoint in the center of my cement parchment, 

bright yellow, 

and i call it hope 


-rachel | @whatrachelwrote

Do you remember
when I loved you
And you loved me
And we lived in this house
We built it together
It was so full of all our hopes
All our dreams, remember?
We painted the walls red,
That was our favorite color.
We made love in that bed
Sometimes we didn’t even bother to fix the sheets
We talked from moon to sun in the space
Of black and street lights
Streaming through the window
And you loved me
And I loved you, remember?
And it was enough to forget
We left the cookies in the oven.
You let me fall asleep on your chest
Every night before you rolled over
And I hugged your hips
And we fell into the space of each other
I remember my hair sitting in your face
And your body heat resonating under the sheets
And I hated when your feet touched mine
Because sometimes you’d call me ashy
And sometimes I’d call you clammy.
I loved you so much.
I know you loved me too.
I pass by that building wondering
who holds you on these empty nights
And If you put sheets on the bed
for someone new to mess up
And if the cookies still bake too hard
Or if I left my slippers.
And I can’t help but miss you,
Wondering what happened
To make you stop loving me too.
—  You’re always on my mind
Need you

I am still dreaming

of your smiling face

Blonde hair in artful disarray

laughing, always laughing

So much to do and say

I’ve never met anyone

so filled with life, with love

Too bright and beautiful

for this old world

My sweet, loving girl

Heart hurting

I’ve been searching

for you all these years

Spilling out my tears

Failing again and again

I miss you my love

I need you my friend

Crumpled faces
moving in a blur,
footsteps heavy
with sighs that
cannot be let out.
Empty eyes locked
on analogue,
then on the void
where the train should be
five minutes ago.

You are always halfway
through a crowded road,
counting seconds
until the green turns red
so you can walk
along the white lines.
But have you seen how
blue the sky is today?

It has always been like this:
alarms on repeat,
deprived bodies wake up
only to find another
rerun of what used to be.
The city has its own way
to make everything
seem beautiful,
grown-ups blend
too well in the landscape.
In the morning,
I slow down,
to watch the puppet show.

-mondays

there is a ‘yes’ in my every ‘no’
and a 'no’ in my every 'yes’.
i am a puzzle that changes every minute-
like a labyrinth, you’ll be lost in.
i am fierce when you treat me
with too much care
and feisty when you treat me with too little.
let me let you in on a little secret-
even i don’t know what it is that i want,
but don’t ever say that to me,
for i know how to bloom beautifully
just as i know how to burn things to the ground.

Tanvi R - “Us, women”

it’s fine

it’s fine you say, but i am not

it’s fine you say, for me to weep in my mind 

daily, steel tears on a dry face,

don’t ask this shattered vase all full of wilted future memories

to hand you the glue stick for my repair,

for i plot every kiss i plant on your lips so they blossom into smiles

 and i cannot love with less than everything.

am

broken.

and you would label my starvation as discontent, and understandably so

for i gorge you with my affections 

but i will protect my crystalline innocent dream to dance with love 

and vomit poetry into the empty nights 

and promise falsely that i’m strong enough 

to play these guessing games. 

i

am

not

fine. 

god is silent and the skies are narrow and your eyes are blank and my sheets run with sorrows fracked from my lost desire 


-rachel | @whatrachelwrote

Here's to all the kids like me

Here’s to all the kids like me
Who had books instead of teddy bears.
Here’s to all the kids
Who still hold their childhood copies of careworn novels with timeworn pages
Who vividly remember turning the pages of Black Beauty
Or Little Women or Secret Garden or Little House on the Prairie
Again and again until the type wears away slightly
Where your fingers always brush the edge of the pages as you hold the book
Hold the memories.
Here’s to all the kids like me
Who took that book everywhere
Whose books look like they’ve been through a war
With mildew on the edges because you’d take them to the beach in the heavy wet humidity
And read them on the sand
And it would somehow feel different than the chair in the corner of your bedroom
Because those same words would take you through years of different memories.
The way that those pages, yellow or brown with age, have been through as much as you have.
The water stain on the corner from when you lost your balance and fell in the rain
Or the way you look at the macaroni stain
Remembering how you wouldn’t even put it down to eat
Looking at the pages in rapture and forgetting about the spoon halfway to your mouth
Despite the fact that you’ve read it so many times you know the story like you know your soul
The bloodstain near the end from where you were so eager to know what happened
That first time you were immersed in that world that became as much a part of you as reality
That you cut your finger in your haste to know what happened next.
The way you’d lovingly but clumsily
Sew the loose pages back into the binding
Tongue hanging out the corner of your mouth as your eyebrows scrunched together
Weaving the thread in and out
Vehemently denying the exasperated offers of loved ones to “buy you a new one!”
Because just like you would never cover the jagged line on your elbow from falling off the swing and having to get stitched back up, or that little crescent on your eyebrow from hitting the fireplace while learning how to walk
That book has earned its battle scars
And you are imperfect together.
And when you were a teenager, and you learned how cruel the world was,
You would grab that book back out from the back of your shelf,
And your tears would drip down onto the pages to mingle with the trials of the characters who were your childhood companions
Creating one more stain to mark the passage of time
And even now
An adult
Trying to make it on your own
You still have that book
In a safe place
Protected from the real world like you wish you still could be
And you know you should read the unabridged version
With the bigger words in smaller print
But you can’t
Because that would be admitting you’re a big kid now
And some part of you will always be that bright eyed innocent
Curled in the corner with a brand new book on your lap
Here’s to all the kids like me
Who know that books mean more than words.

Theses notes ripple in the sea of time
Spreading till they butter the surface
My ears are awake to the wondrous new experience they bring to my senses
Where my mind is free from shackles
My soul engines desire.
— 

Goldandpoetry

Listening to Erik Satie: Gymnopeodies No 1-3

There was nothing when I saw you last night,
no warmth, no words.
We were barely there together,
you were cold like back in the days when I feared you -I guess I still do sometimes.

And I did not surrender to your presence,
did not melt, did not stop breathing;
I stopped minding it, as if it were a detail,
and not the one only thing I’d been longing for.

Far, impersonal.
A stinging mindless encounter
deprived of all you’d ever made me feel.
Deprived of hopes of ever making you feel anything, on top of it.

Complete emptiness,
I whispered to myself “Maybe this is better”,

saw what I was in your eyes, an almost stranger

when I tried to walk away your eyes stung my bones like frostbite needles.

—  LG ; Mixed signals I dream of seeing

“Let’s go dance in the snow

until our limbs are frozen

together and our eyes

turn to glass.


Run away with me

and spin me around

under the bruise-colored

sky until our arms bleed

from gripping too tight.”


-EL

Come and Gone

Today is a day I have lived several times before
Tomorrow is a journey never taken
Gone, gone are the ghost hour chit-chats

The sun rises and dresses each forest tree
In an emerald green dress fit for a queen
The birds chirp their mysterious tune
“To whom,” I assume, “it concerns.”
Gone, gone are the winter chills
That still the mighty sea of trees

But come again, oh come again
The June nights of Jubilee
The campfire dances fervently
As the lightening bugs try to capture flickers
In vain work they try to make the world brighter

Then, in the quiet hours after midnight
The wolves wail out in song
A solemn chill reverberates through the air
There in my heart stirs the remeberence
And warning of winter nights passed and to come

But here, in the warmth of the slow, steady fire
I sleep soundly, prepared to meet the oncoming autumn once again
Come and gone, come and gone
Such is my soul

three-letter dalliance

they were three letters,
a flash in a pan; true.
two of those letters were twinned, identical;
together they might as well have been a novel,
a treatise from you for all the delight they gave.

three letters flash in my peripheral,
ghostly, sleek, ethereal,
wisps, boo–
a strange response,
to a hello, hey you.

the word was limited in its makeup
by the requirements;
nay, the restraints
of the digital page.
the cyber etiquette lands
a forty or less, cute exchange.

it is a term of endearment, too.
i read too much into you.
this three-letter dalliance, was the nascence
of the ghostly presence
of my cult following of you.

doe eyed, angelic

you found an angel
took her feathers
one by one
tore apart her flesh
devoured it
all that’s left of her are bones
oh, and how they ache
the angel weeps for you,
the angel wants for you
she cries out,
she screams
but you never seem to hear her

she’s fallen
and you
are her wound
ripped her apart
without a second thought
you blindfolded her
and cut off her wings
didn’t even have the courage
to look her in the eye
would it have blinded you?
do you have to take other’s hearts
to use once and destroy
because you don’t have one of your own?

your spirit
comes to me
consoles
this woman
that it sees
i simply long
to rest
in the warmth
of your embrace
your silhouette
I will trace
with imaginary
fingers
search for love
while it lingers
in this
our tiny universe
where these bodies
will converse
between
bedsheets
made of light
from the stars
that fill the night
our bodies blend
as they collide
there is nothing
left to hide
you search
my heart
my soul
my flesh
this is where
we come to mesh
enjoy the solace
that we do find
inside this home
within our minds

-Brie

in our silent moments
you ask me
what i’m thinking

i grasp for words
often remaining silent
as my tongue gets tied
into shy
and playful knots
thoughts
begin to wander
and i cautiously ponder
yet all i can give
are mere glimpses
of the dream that exists
when my eyes are closed

let me try to convey
all i long to say…

i imagine walking the rooms
inside my mind
with you
who understands
my every weakness
seeing them as strength
i look upon you
who fills the quantum
celestial gap
the black hole
within my heart
a universe
undiscovered
this niche missing
from reality
i envision a home
furnished
and complete
with all the facets
of an unblemished love
conveyed
and displayed
within each photo
that is hung on the walls
love thrives inside
the pages of every book
that rests
upon the dusty shelves
for us to read
letter by letter
together
i imagine that
on our darkest days
when lost in life’s maze
and one may not feel like reading
the other will speak
the words aloud
so very slowly
lovingly
with compassion
the sound will resonate
and saturate
our home
this love will linger about
in the air we breathe
floating
and swirling
captured under blankets
in-between the bedsheets
it will be piling high
on the harvest table
the vital nourishment placed
bountifully upon each plate
the sustenance
in abundance
that will feed our body
heart and soul
i clearly see you
transparent
and vulnerable
yet holding inside
the courage of lion heart
contained
within your own wounds
your weakness
becomes
your greatest
strength
i see you
who requires to be loved
as deeply you love
who looks into my eyes
and desires not to remedy
one single thing
instead
treasuring
what is yours
i see only you
the man who is willing
as i am willing
to cross even the most
treacherous valleys
climb the highest mountains
that we might enjoy the view
both together
forever

in the depths
of your eyes
i see sheer beauty
within every scar
they hide
i see brilliance
in the divine plan
of the past
that lead you here

i am left looking into us
reveling in the perfection
that is chaotically scattered
like diamonds among the stones
that lay upon the path
we walked
before finding

home

-Brie

Every morning when I open my eyes
I find an empty bed
and I’m always surprised
because all through the night
you never left my head.
—  Leigh