thetylershields: I will be doing a free talk May 13th at the Leica gallery in LA from 1-3 pm. Photo of @coltonlhaynes from my new book Provocateur link in the bio swipe right to see the book and one of the invites for my new upcoming show with @leicacamerausa
friendly reminder that since a lot of people have decided xmas now starts right after halloween: not everyone celebrates xmas or wants to participate. don’t shame people for not participating in xmas traditions or blacklisting xmas. if people ask to not be wished a merry xmas, don’t wish them a merry xmas. don’t get upset if people express their frustrations with how christian normativity makes it impossible to escape this non-secular holiday for almost two months. if people want nothing to do with xmas, please just let them be.
“Get Out Of My Preschool: a RinHaru AU” feat. Single Dadsuke and thirsty Model Young Parents MakoGou.
Rin and Haru meet at kindergarten and Rin rly wants to be friends with that cool and pretty Nanase boy!! and Haru is absolutely taken aback by Rin’s cute and insistent attempts to get close to him because this Matsuoka kid is so weird… and smiles at him a lot… and gives him toys…. and candy he grabbed at the doctor’s waiting room apparently… and doesnt make fun of his Iwatobi-chan backpack……. so he has this “get out of my preschool” kind of crush. So that’s what he says. Rin starts bawling, Haru is so distressed by that he breaks into tears too, and that’s how they accidentally make their parents meet - by having them called by a teacher :’)
Ssk is Haru’s single dad who Does His Best. He had him young with a girl from a swim team who had a Future and all he had was a screwed shoulder so he decided to raise the kid alone, or smth. I guess not having the proper recovery time to get over the whole injury fallout and mental repercussions he’s self-conscious and lost as a parent and probably worried about Haru being a quiet boy and not getting along well with other kids. It’s probably his fault, he’d think, he’s not a dad Haru deserves. Ofc he’s dumb and Haru loves him with all his bby heart.
Gou and Makoto are your regular nice young parents who may be a bit into that single dad… probably when they’re in bed Gou says casually that ‘Yamazaki-san is pretty hot, don’t you think Makoto?’ and Makoto malfunctions but finally admits from under a pillow that yes, maybe, why… And so they start to test the waters and flirt and Sousuke is very confused. But it does him a lot of good. Makoto would be all “Haru-chan is such an independent, well behaved boy, you must be a great dad Yamazaki-san!” Of course Haru likes Makoto very much so he’s extra polite to him but still.. Sousuke starts hanging out with them and believe in himself and fall in love and all that. Help me.
“Finding the center of strength within ourselves is in the long run the
best contribution we can make to our fellow men. … One person with
indigenous inner strength exercises a great calming effect on panic
among people around him. This is what our society needs — not new ideas
and inventions; important as these are, and not geniuses and supermen,
but persons who can “be”, that is, persons who have a center of strength
Me: Ahhhhhh yes, right now we are experiencing some feeling called FEELS. That devastating feeling where you just want to SLAM YOUR FACE IN THE WALL AND DIE CUZ OMGGGGG MY OTP. BABY HES JUST A CINNAMON ROLL STOP IT AHAHHSDKEJXNWKDKDJDLFNEKEJ
If I had to name one of the most unsettling moments of SPN this would certainly be one of them because though I think Jensen and Alaina had amazing chemistry and rocked this scene, it is yet another moment in which Dean is subjected to violence, but also threatened with outright sexual abuse and possession. That said, to me this scene in early S9 at the same time is also one of he most poignant ones as it touches on so much that lies ahead for Dean and the MoC arc. And most importantly this entire scene imo is getting replayed in 10x02 “Reichenbach” setting and tone wise with Dean taking Abaddon’s place as a demon and Knight of Hell in his fight against Cole (see gifset here). Abaddon is what Dean is about to become over the course of the season. And here they are, two soldiers facing off against one another. The parallels existing between Abaddon and Demon!Dean I also had briefly touched on in this gifset. Aside from these big parallels, I think the devil - as so often - lies in the details.
Abaddon emphasizing Dean to be the perfect vessel and threatening to possesshim, making him watch - which directly connects to Dean’s observer status in S11 and his “I was just a witness” - not only reminds of Dean’s role as Michael’s vessel, but also foreshadows how the mark essentially takes away Dean’s free will and turns him into its puppet to sate it’s bloodthirst. The horror scenarios Abaddon throws at Dean here, in this regard feel foreboding to Dean going off the deep end towards the end of S10, but also serves as a callback to Dean’s time in Hell imo. The show never explored it in depth, but I think it is more than valid to assume that Abaddon’s words brought a few memories back from Hell that Dean would rather not have ever thought about again. In this regard it’s probably good that Abaddon didn’t know that Dean “served in Hell” as that would have made her torture all the much worse probably.
Aside from Abaddon’s threats of “making Dean watch” while killing and the connection to the MoC, to me the even bigger parallel here is the one existing between Abaddon and Amara. What Abaddon threatens with, Amara does. She does effectively paralyze Dean and “wants to become one with him”. She is taking Dean’s agency away completely. A lot of the narrative and what it implied in S11 - and which sadly wasn’t delivered on - relates directly to this moment. And in particular the heavy non con/sexual overtones in Abaddon’s and Dean’s and Amara’s and Dean’s interactions are very similar. Especially Abaddon calling Dean “lover” feels troublingly important in relation to Amara wanting to consume Dean and then opting for a kiss.
Furthermore, probably one of the most tragic bits of what Abaddon says here isn’t centered around the non con bits at all, but comes down to her telling Dean that she’d let him die, quick and easy without any pain involved. This almost feels ironic given Dean tries so hard to die in the following two seasons, wishes he could die so he wouldn’t be a danger, wishes he could die so he could remain being who he is. But exactly that: dying isn’t even an option. Because he is immortal, a Knight of Hell, everything he never wanted to be.