“I need feminism because… no one debates whether men can "have it all”“

No one debates whether men can have it all because it is overwhelmingly presumed that a man has one role in life and that is to spend the rest of his life working to the bone to support the family. What use is a man unless he goes to work? That is what our society teaches. Men don’t have it all because from the moment they are born they are reared to be put to work. Society views their worth on how much money they bring in at the end of the day. That’s it. Their suitability as a potential partner is heavily based on what job they have and how able they are to support a future family…

… And when it comes to family, more often than not, a man will give up his precious time, that could’ve otherwise been spent with his wife and children, to work long hours to provide an income. Meanwhile, the wife is on maternity leave, or staying home with the kids, or working flexible hours to suit daycare, or working full time with a nanny for the kids. There is so much support for women with children out there. It is socially acceptable for them to stay at home and rear the children since it is an age old stereotype, and our culture has shifted (for the better) to make it more acceptable and respectable for a woman to go back to work after having kids. 

Men have been left out of this change in acceptability regarding family roles, yet they are still being blamed and accused of ‘having it all’ when the only option they really have is to get back to work? (Unless they want to face ridicule, of course). No, men don’t have it all because they are pressured into the only thing society thinks they are good for, earning money.

God, as a woman I cannot imagine the pressure they must grow up with and deal with. I mean, I face daily pressures set by expectations of how women should behave, or what women should do. But I don’t live under a rock, I know for a fact that men struggle with other issues that don’t affect me. Just because they don’t affect me, doesn’t mean they don’t exist, and I am not going to spend my life supporting a movement that is hell bent on removing any sort male support system because it believes women have it worse.

Feminist quotes like the ones above destroy what little credibility feminism has left. It shows just how one sided all their concerns are. They only ever think about how a particular issue affects women, but they could care less if that same issue affected men in an alternative way. Feminists caring about men? I don’t think so.

- fraudulentfeminist

“I need feminism because… There are more MPs called Dave than female MPs”

Yeah. Fuck you, Dave. 

How dare you study politics and take an interest in leadership roles. What a selfish bastard you are, for pursuing a career that supports your country and keeps it from descending into anarchy. Fuck you, Dave, because it is entirely your fault that women aren’t as inclined to pursue leadership roles like being a Member of Parliament.

Women want more representation in politics, but none of them actually want to take on the responsibility of representation themselves; they want someone else to do it for them. 

“Too many men,” they say. “There are just too many Daves. This isn’t fair.”

Newsflash, Dave, you are a man. You are solely responsible for women avoiding politics. There are too many of you. Whatever you do, Dave, it means shit. No one is going to look up to you. Who gives a damn about your leadership skills, your integrity or honesty? You won’t ever be an inspiration or motivation for women pursuing politics, simply because you don’t have a vagina between your legs. As we all know, women only respect and admire other women.  

Holy shit, Dave, you didn’t think about that, did you? 

fraudulentfeminist  asked:

Hey. Just saw your reblog of my firefighter post. If you were interested, I added commentary to further explain myself, as a lot of what I said was taken completely out of context. I didn't mean to offend anyone personally so I hope it clears it up. It sounds passive aggressive, since I wrote it when I was pretty pissed off, but don't take the tone personally. It is more the information I want to relay. Add [/firefighter] to the end of my URL or find the tab from my main page. All the best.

Good commentary! 

Very good explanation of what you meant and I agree.

fraudulentfeminist  asked:

(1) Only just found your response to my message about my firefighter post just today. Completely agree with you 100% on your position. I’m not going to lie, my remarks about “The Australian Fire Brigade” was a huge misrepresentation and was incredibly misleading. I think I read one article and just made a huge sweeping generalization. I take full responsibility for that. Can I delete every trace of a 30,000+ note post and start again? Nope. I sure would love to though.

(2) I guess my biggest problem is that my arguments don’t encompass every element of a particular issue. I am aware of it, it is intentional, but I should work on clarifying it. I don’t have time to write 5,000 words, so I write 500 words and look at one tiny aspect to give one tiny different perspective. That firefighter post was meant to be a run of the mill >30 note post that I could receive critical feedback and other perspectives. Actions come with consequences though, and it’s my fault.

(3) Thanks for being the one sane person on this website who can pull me aside and correct me without resorting to throwing slurs, sending hate or acting like it is a competition. You deserve every ounce of respect for that. I’d really appreciate it if you had any more feedback to give me regarding my blog, you seem to be the one of the very few people out there who can dish out constructive criticism.

(response to this)

Um.  I continue to not be quite sure how to engage this post.  Like, I know that making public mistakes is unpleasant and that negative feedback can be overwhelming and can get unpleasantly personal and also my own reaction to those kinds of situations tends to be of the ‘oh god I must vanish forever’ non-ideal variety.  But I also still think there are some big, unaddressed issues going on here.

I don’t really want head-pats for being specially special good at tone and constructiveness because while I’m sure you’ve gotten some nasty feedback I also know you’ve gotten lots of thoughtful, thorough responses, including a good deal of commentary in the original post I reblogged.  And I don’t see any signs that you’re doing anything about any of this.

I know you want the 30,000 reblogs about your self-admitted “huge misrepresentation” and “sweeping generalization” to go away, but just being like ‘whoops, my bad’ to ME in MY askbox isn’t really “taking full responsibility” by any definition.  The post is still out there, and your blog still prominently features a response that consists of calling your critics whiners and insisting that all the problems are coming from the other side.

Here are some constructive things you could do:

-You can add commentary (or a link to commentary) to the bottom of the original post, correcting what you feel to be mistakes or linking to critiques that you agree with.

-You can edit your current response post, acknowledging and correcting errors, and moderating your tone to the same tone you expect from people interacting with you, taking advantage of the fact that this is the internet and you have as much time to collect your temper and adjust your words as you want.

-You could post something constructive based on…whatever it is you’ve figured out from this incident (I’m not clear from anything you’ve said if your viewpoint has even shifted or if you’re somehow acknowledging bad info and still standing by your point.).

The precursors for all these steps are 1) Listen; 2) Learn.  (Or, if you don’t like those you can try B) Educate yourself.)

On the less constructive side you could try my ‘vanish everything in utter mortification and assume a new, wiser identity and try to never ever make that mistake again’ route.  Wherein at least you learned something!  Actually, looking at it from this side of the issue I’m not sure why that route ever appeals; the first one seems easier and more productive.

As to constructive commentary on your blog… that’s… a really… large, open-ended, giant-investment kind of request.  I’ve glanced through your blog and, like, wow giant mixed bag of stuff I agree with and disagree with and agree but only in very different contexts and etc.  It mostly seems to be you explaining why other feminists’ posts are, in your opinion, Wrong.  And (brace for irony) that stresses me right the fuck out.

There’s some weird complexity because you’re making some sort of division that escapes me between “3rd wave feminism” and “traditional feminism” and there’s lots of sweeping statements about what all “those” feminists say and a lot of it becomes this issue where I wind up agreeing that, for example, hating men is bad and gender stereotypes hurt everyone but also having no flipping clue why you think some massive feminist “They” doesn’t also agree with this point.  And you’ve coupled almost everything to mostly-innocuous, valid, only-tangentially related feminist pictures, like in the firefighter post, which doesn’t really give a clear picture of who it is you think you’re opposing.  It’s this weird, false dichotomy, forced-teaming kind of experience and I don’t even know what to do with it.

So I think it might be easier to just respond to your about page because, much like the firefighter post, I think any conversation we try to have is going to break down at this very ground level.

You went to a 3rd world country, saw some big important issues, and decided that non “traditional feminism” (I still don’t know what that means) is wasting time complaining about “shallow and pitiful things“ that don’t measure up to these other issues, and needs to shut up.  So, okay, just comparing two examples you gave it’s true that feeling pressured to wear make up isn’t on the same life-or-death level as legalized domestic abuse.  But one thing being a problem issue doesn’t stop another thing from also being a problem issue.  There’s not some sort of cap on the threshold of pain we’re allowed to care about.  And I could write you an essay on how that little, shallow, pitiful issue contributes to and fosters that bigger issue.  (I won’t, because lots of other people already have.) I really, really, fundamentally and completely disagree that “little” issues are a distraction.

But let’s leave all that aside.

You’ve got bigger more important issues you think need to be addressed.  So maybe target your activism at those issues.  I am absolutely helpless to understand why you think your time is more constructively spent telling other people to hush up and stop complaining and policing the threshold of what is and isn’t deemed a sufficiently important issue to care about or how to care about it in The Right Way.  Just go do your thing.

Am I the only one that has experienced meeting crazy sjw people in real life?

Am I the only one that has experienced meeting crazy sjw people in real life? (Egalitarians, share your experiences?)

Hey guys! It’s me Ashley.
I am an egalitarian, and i am not an sjw. I still support equality, and I still believe in social justice, but in a normal, better kind of way instead of in an extremest way that the rest of the sjw’s do. And I do like how sometimes tumblr stands up against discrimination, but hate how tumblr sjw’s and other dumb ass social media activists make a big deal out of completely nothing literally almost all the time and spread too much hate sometimes.

Unfortunately, I have actually met sjw’s in real life. Here’s my story:
A lot of my friends back in high school turned into sjw’s around senior year. (I am currently a freshman in college, btw). They were black sjw’s and feminists, and would rant ALOT on social media. And in person. Every now and then, on social media, I would retweet/reblog something they would say, bc sometimes they would uplift black women and just say nice things (in a NICE way and not an EXTREMIST way) and I liked it.

But eventually they started complaining about everything. Like even during February, when we were in class, as opposed to uplifting black people who fought for rights and stuff like that (like a NORMAL black person would during black history month), they just ranted on and on about how all white people do is rape and kill black women, and that’s white culture. It was so annoying. They ended up finding everything to be problematic.

So, my fellow tumblr egalitarians, have any of you guys had any real-life experiences with crazy/ extremist sjw’s (or extremist feminists)? You can Comment with your stories! I’m curious lol.

@areyouactuallyhavingfun @black-egalitarian @bisexualagainstsocialjustice @anti-fem-anti-stupid @anti-feminist-pro-me @bweesons-anxiety @criticalsocialjustice @egalitarianemoji @egalitarianism-rocks @egalitarianqueen @egalitarianrevenge @egalitarians-do-it-better @em4realsj @endgaem @equalistfeminist @fraudulentfeminist @fuckingradfems @fuck-social-justice-blogs @highspirits-hoodvibes @howtolosefaithinhumanity @humanslothking @it-goes-both-ways @jackiefromallstate @kirbyawesome @ladiesforloveandjustice @lazilyangrymentality @let-me-take-a-pikachu @mankindglobalmedia @naudica @noiranomaly @racial-equality @rainbowswitchblade @sexysaxmanstrikesback @sjhetalia @sjwbullshit @sjwfail @sjws-are-problematic @specialsnowflakesanonymous @spookylion-against-sjw @sunshinemoonlightboogie @the-eagle-atarian @thecrystalfems @thenonfeministgirl @theofficialpatriarchy @wedontneedsocialjusticewarriors @thesocialinjusticewarrior @theultimatesjw @tschaikovsky @tuhmblr-logic @ugh-feminism @ughsocialjustice @what-the-frickity-frackity-wack