Tell me some weird shit™ that the founding fathers did
FOUNDING FATHERS SPECIFIC:
• Alexander Hamilton spelled Pennsylvania wrong on the constitution.
• Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be the Turkey.
• James Monroe, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson all died on July 4th- James Madison died seven days before July 4th.
• George Washington and Lafayette took a nap underneath a tree after The Battle of Monmouth.
• Two days before signing the Declaration of Independence all the delegates got super drunk.
• Benjamin Franklin basically was man whore in France.
• Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay on farting.
• Benjamin Franklin wasn’t allowed to write The Declaration of Independence because they thought he’d put a joke in it.
• Benjamin Franklin took “air baths” which involved sitting in a bathtub fully nude and writing.
• Benjamin Franklin purposely spelt Pennsylvania wrong on the US currency to defer from counterfeits.
• John Adams had a dog named Satan.
• Alexander Hamilton founded the New York Post coincidently he was involved in the first major political sex scandal
• While in England bromance Thomas Jefferson and John Adams visited Shakespeare’s house and vandalized a chair he used to sit in by chipping piece out of it.
• During the election of 1800 while bromance Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were broken up; Thomas Jefferson told everyone that John Adams was a hermaphrodite and John Adams countered telling everyone Thomas Jefferson was dead.
• Benjamin Franklin brought tofu to America.
• Thomas Jefferson brought Ice Cream and macaroni and cheese.
• Thomas Jefferson told Lewis and Clark to watch out for giant sloths.
• George Washington currently has $300,000 worth of overdue library books.
• George Washington didn’t know that Chinese people were white.
• During the battle of Germantown, George Washington found a lost dog and stopped everything just to return to dog safely to the British side.
• George Washington was deathly afraid of being burnt alive and asked in his will to be buried three days after his death.
• It’s actually Paul Revere on the Sam Adams.
• John Jay didn’t sign the Declaration of Independence, he is famed for framing it.
• Gouvernour Morris got a blockage in his dick and tried to cure it by sticking a piece of Whale Bone down his fucking penis hole. He got an infection and died.
• Thomas Jefferson having such bad social anxiety that he used to fake sick to get out of public interactions.
• Thomas Jefferson broke his wrist trying to inpress a girl.
• Benjamin Franklin volunteered in the fire department.
• Thomas Jefferson had about 7,000 books and when a Virginian Library burnt down he donated about 1,640 books to the library.
• George Washington was an amazing dancer.
• James Madison and Thomas Jefferson were once arrested for riding a horse carriage on a Sunday in Vermont. Which was illegal!
• Thomas Jefferson had a mockingbird named dick who ate from his mouth and shit.
• Alexander Hamilton’s son and his dying in the same spot just four years apart in the same way.
• Alexander Hamilton talking and talking after he was shot even thought he was fucking bleeding out.
• John Jay quitting politics and becoming a farmer.
• John Adams and Thomas Jefferson holding such a grudge against one another that Johnny didn’t even show up to his presidential inauguration.
• Thomas Jefferson only made two speeches during his presidencies. Both were his inauguration speeches.
• Lafayette giving John Quincy Adams a baby alligator as a gift.
• Andrew Jackson got kicked out of a funeral because his mocking bird kept saying fuck.
• James Madison “accidentally” shipping into US a ton of prostitutes.
• Andrew Jackson beat the shit out of a guy trying to assassinate him with a cane.
• James Monroe and Alexander Hamilton almost getting into a duel which was stopped by Aaron Burr.
• James Monroe served as both Treasury of secretary and Secretary of State.
(This list is getting too long- so I’ll stop there!)
The Ben Franklin Store
Dushore, Pa. 18614
Serves residents and tourists alike in this Sullivan Highland resort Community. A “small on the outside - big on the inside” variety store, Ben Franklin keeps pace with the most modern and fashionable merchandise.
Today in History: June 11th 1776, Congress appoints Committee of Five to draft the Declaration of Independence.
On this day in 1776, the Continental Congress selected Thomas Jefferson of Virginia, John Adams of Massachusetts, Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania, Roger Sherman of Connecticut and Robert R. Livingston of New York to draft a declaration of independence. Adams, knowing Jefferson’s skill with a pen, appointed him the writer.
Statesman, diplomat, political theorist, inventor, musician, oceanologist, physicist, polyglot, economist, civic activist, philanthropist, physician, meteorologist, demographer, founding father, printer, writer, and womanizer, all terms accurately describe the many roles Benjamin Franklin played throughout his long life. One of the least known roles of “The Great Sage” was of soldier and military commander, which he would undertake in the year 1756 during the French and Indian War. In the spring and summer of 1755 British General Edward Braddock was sent west with an army to capture Fort Duquesne, located on the forks of the Ohio River, what is now downtown Pittsburgh. Franklin had actually personally warned Braddock that his expedition was doomed to failure due to poor tactics, flawed military doctrine, and an underestimation of the enemy. Before reaching Fort Duquesne, the army was ambushed by the French and their Native American allies, and forced to retreat, Braddock himself was killed in the ensuing battle. After the defeat of the British Army under Braddock, French and Native American forces began to conduct raids into the Lehigh Valley of Pennsylvania, sometimes striking only 80 miles from Philadelphia. By New Years of 1756, around 400 settlers had been killed in the raids. Pennsylvania did not have a colonial militia, most likely as a result of the colony’s pacifist Quaker past. The Pennsylvania Assembly quickly passed a bill written by Franklin to raise, train, and equip a colonial militia. Franklin was commissioned a colonel in the militia and charged with ending the raids.
Franklin and his regiment set out for the Moravian settlement known as Gnadenhutten, now present day Weissport in Carbon County. He made his son, William, second in command. Careful not to repeat the mistakes of Gen. Braddock, Franklin ordered light infantry and scouts to patrol ahead of the army in order to fend off any possible ambushes and surprise attacks. After warding off several such attacks, the regiment reached Gnadenhutten safely, Franklin ordered the construction of a large fort with 18 foot high walls, swivel guns, and port holes from which riflemen and musketeers could fire from. He then ordered two other forts constructed 15 miles to the east and west, as well as a number of other outposts and checkpoints surrounding the area. Then, he organized a system of random patrols consisting of scouts and soldiers with dogs throughout the area to protect settlements, guard his supply lines, root out guerrillas, and make it difficult for the enemy to conduct any surprise attacks. Furthermore, he created good relations with local settlers and loyal Native American tribes, essentially setting up an intelligence network that would further serve as the eyes and ears of his regiment.
Essentially, Franklin was practicing what military strategists would call counterinsurgency warfare, and Franklin’s tactics were little different from what is being done by NATO forces in Afghanistan today. After several skirmishes the raids began to decline in frequency. Within the year, the raids were reduced to a minimum. Of all of Franklin’s roles throughout his life, it was one he seemed to relish the least. He never wore a uniform, never accepted pay, never had a military portrait painted (a traditional practice among high ranking officers), and although he held the rank of colonel, preferred to be called “Mister Franklin” rather than Colonel Franklin. When he returned to Philadelphia after relinquishing his command, he learned that the citizens of Philadelphia had prepared a victory parade for him as he entered the city. Rather than making a spectacle of his return, he quickly snuck into the city in the middle of the night. Though he was an effective military commander, Franklin was a lover, not a fighter.
April 28, 1845, this specimen was found in Mercersburg, Pennsylvania (Franklin
County) by Thomas Conrad Porter. Porter
(1822-1901) was a botanist associated with the herbarium at what is now the
Academy of Natural Sciences of Drexel University in Philadelphia.
This plant might
not seem like anything to write home about, but it is well known by most
scientists. Arabidopsis thaliana (mouse-ear cress) has played, and continues to
play, a huge role in plant biology research. This weed in the mustard family (Brassicaceae) is native to Europe and
Asia and has been widely introduced to the United States.
Because of its small genome (fully sequenced
16 years ago), rapid life cycle (Germination to reproducing adult takes only
six weeks!), mutant genotypes, and a long history of genetic research, this
species has become an important model organism for cellular, molecular,
evolutionary, agricultural, and even ecological studies. It is the
international “lab rat” for plant science.
It was discovered in Germany in the 1500s, but did not really become
famous as a model organism for research until 1943—nearly 100 years after this
specimen was collected!
at Carnegie Museum of Natural History share pieces of the
herbarium’s historical hidden collection on the dates they were
discovered or collected. Check back for more!
Every 4th of July, Garrett starts going off about all the people he knew back then, like how he hob-nobbed with the Founding Fathers and thought about turning some of them into vampires but he was still too new and didn’t want to risk killing them by accident because he could never live with himself if he inadvertently killed a hero like George Washington.
And Carlisle’s sitting there trying not to roll his eyes because 90% of that never happened, but Garrett likes to spin a yarn so he lets it go, silently remembering the time he shook hands with Benjamin Franklin at the Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia, but he doesn’t bring it up because he’s not one to drop names.