My heart is hurting so much right now. I fell in love with Robert back in January when I watched “The Summit Five Affair” – the second episode of MFU that I ever watched. There was no turning back for me; he stole my heart and ran with it, and I let him take it. He was wonderful and charming and the nicest man, and Napoleon Solo was the hero I looked up to.
I am devastated now. But I will never, ever stop loving him. He still has my heart and he can keep it, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know what lies beyond, but I know there’s something. I know that he knows how much he means to me–I sent him a letter back in August, and I know that he can sense my thoughts now, wherever he is.
So, know this, Robert. What I said in that letter still holds true, and I hope that letter gave you something to smile about during your illness. You brought me so much joy. You mean so much to me. You always will. You were kind and brave and a wonderful human being. And I know you wouldn’t want me to be upset, but I can’t help it. I’m going to miss you so much, even if I never knew you personally. And I am so grateful to have shared this Earth with you. And I promise, I will go back to enjoying your shows and movies and Shakespeare readings again (and fawn over the billboard of you outside my college town–oops, I didn’t mention that in the letter, but I guess you know now…). But I need time.
And I will keep writing and posting my MFU fics. The finale of my Baron of THRUSH arc, “Requiem of Spirit” was supposed to be a birthday present for you, and it still will be. You may be gone now, but I will make sure that Napoleon Solo lives on.
And I will also make sure that no one will ever forget you. I will sing your praises for a long as I can, and I’ll keep posting the Robert Francis Friday posts, because I can’t think of a better way to pay tribute to you.
Your legacy will live on. And so will your spirit.
“That which pervades the entire body you should know to be
indestructible. No one is able to destroy that imperishable soul. ”
(Bhagavad Gita 2.17)
Have I posted this, yet, or not? Oh shit, sorry, I forgot!
Francis came out of the hotel, walked along the line of autograph hunters and some fans, no one recognized him… And what the FUCK was he doing? He walked by me, saw me and: “Hey you!” Right when I was about to call out for him. Omiholyfuckinggosh, he remembered me!!! He made my night! 😱😭 I was so surprised and shocked, but so damn happy. He’s such a daddy!