The Lord of the Wedding Rings: The Return of the King - iguana’s 2017 HELLsinki Worlds recap

This is it guys, the last big competition before the Olympics. So much potential for great skates, great disasters and great distress; this competition did not fail to deliver. Nor did the announcers, who were screaming out names and scores as if it were a wrestling match. And it was, in one way or another. Albeit a sparklier one. For a brief couple of days, we thought Javier Fernandez was gonna win his 3rd consecutive World title and I almost had those memes ready but at the same time I knew coming from behind like a wrecking ball was Yuzuru Hanyu’s specialty. To nobody’s surprise Evgenia Medvedeva broke a record; to everyone’s surprise, she only broke it in the long program. Meanwhile, Wenjing Sui and Cong Han’s blues for koolk brought the pairs crown back to China and Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir purple rained on Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron’s parade. Let’s start the recap!

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Bobigny, Paris, France 11 February 2017
Protesters against police violence have set a car on fire during a rally in the Paris suburb of Bobigny, which followed a police officer’s assault on a 22-year-old man.
Photography by: Cyril Zannettacci


Saint of the Day – 30 May – St Joan of Arc – Virgin (6 January 1412 at Greux-Domremy, Lorraine, France – burned alive on 30 May 1431 at Rouen, France) – Beatified 11 April 1905 by Pope Saint Pius X,  Canonised on 16 May 1920 by Pope Benedict XV.  Patron of France;  martyrs; captives;  military personnel;  people ridiculed for their piety; prisoners;  soldiers; opposition of Church authorities;  WACs (Women’s Army Corps);  WAVES (Women Appointed for Voluntary Emergency Service).  Attributes – bareheaded girl in armour with sword, lance or banner.

Paradoxically, Christian people, good and bad alike, cheered at her demise.   Other Christians wept.   This incongruity may trouble us but Joan would have expected it.  The war she fought embroiled French Christians against English Christians.   We too have waged wars like that, pitting Christian against Christian.   Just as we may have felt that God was on our side, Joan believed that God was with the French.   When the judges who condemned her asked if the heavenly voices she followed to war spoke in English, she replied tartly, “Why should they speak English when they were not on the English side?”

Joan of Arc was born into the violent times of the fifteenth century.   During her childhood, King Henry V of England invaded France and seized Normandy.   He laid claim to the crown of the French king, Charles VI, who was mentally ill.   Paralysed by civil war between the duke of Burgundy and the duke of Orleans, the French could not put up much of a defense.  Things worsened when agents of the duke of Orleans murdered the duke of Burgundy.  The Burgundians reacted by becoming England’s allies. Eventually, Burgundian mercenaries brought the war home to Joan’s family. The raiders sacked the little village of Domrémy-la-Pucelle, forcing them to flee.   Thus, the indiscriminate brutality of war disrupted Joan of Arc’s pleasant childhood to acquaint her with fear.

Born of a fairly well-to-do peasant couple in Domremy-Greux southeast of Paris, Joan was only 12 when she experienced a vision and heard voices that she later identified as Saints Michael the Archangel, Catherine of Alexandria, and Margaret of Antioch.

By May 1428, Joan’s voices had become relentless and specific. They directed her to go at once to a town nearby and to offer her services to Robert de Baudricourt, the commander of the royal forces. Reluctantly, she obeyed. De Baudricourt, however, greeted her with laughter, telling her that her father should give her a good spanking.

At that time, conditions were deteriorating for the French.   The English had put Orleans under siege, and the stronghold was in grave danger. Joan’s voices became more insistent. “But I am merely a girl! I cannot ride a horse or wield a weapon!” she protested.

“It is God who commands it!” came the reply.

Unable to resist any longer, Joan secretly made her way back to de Baudricourt.   When she arrived she told the commander a fact she could have known only by revelation.   She said the French army—on that very day—had suffered a defeat near Orleans.   Joan urged him to send her to Orleans so that she might fulfill her mission.   When official reports confirmed Joan’s word, de Baudricourt finally took her seriously and sent her to Charles VII.

She was outfitted with white armour and provided a special standard bearing the names Jesus and Mary.   The banner depicted two kneeling angels offering a fleur-de-lis to God. On April 29, 1429, Joan led her army into Orleans.   Miraculously, she rallied the town.  By May 8, the French had captured the English forts and had lifted the siege. An arrow had penetrated the armour over Joan’s breast but the injury was not serious enough to keep her out of the battle.   Everything, including the wound, occurred exactly as Joan had prophesied before the campaign.  A peasant maiden had defeated the army of a mighty kingdom, a humiliation that demanded revenge.

The way to Reims was now open.  Joan urged the immediate coronation of the king but the French leaders dragged their feet.  Finally, however, at Reims on July 17, 1429, Charles VII was anointed king of France.  The Maid of Orleans stood triumphantly at his side. Joan had accomplished her mission.

During the battles at Orleans, the voices had told Joan she had only a little time left.   Her shameful end lurked ominously in the shadows.   Later, she sustained a serious arrow wound in the thigh during an unsuccessful attack on Paris.   In May 1430, after spending the winter in court, she led a force to relieve Compiègne, which the Burgundians had under siege.   Her effort failed, and the Burgundians captured her.

Through the summer and fall, the duke of Burgundy held Joan captive.   The French, apparently ungrateful, made no effort to rescue her or obtain her release.   On November 21, 1430, the Burgundians sold Joan to the English for a large sum.  The English were quite eager to punish the maiden who had bested them.   They could not execute Joan for winning but they could impose capital punishment for sorcery or heresy.   For several months she was chained in a cell in the castle at Rouen, where five coarse guards constantly taunted her.   In February 1431, Joan appeared before a tribunal headed by Peter Cauchon, the avaricious and wicked bishop of Beauvais.

Joan had no chance for a fair trial.   She stood alone before devious judges, an uneducated girl conducting her own defense.   The panel interrogated her six times in public, nine times in private.   They questioned her closely about her visions, voices, male dress, faith and submissiveness to the church.  Giving good, sometimes even unexpectedly clever answers, Joan handled herself courageously.   However, the judges took advantage of her lack of education and tripped her up on a few slippery theological points.   The panel packed its summary with her damaging replies and condemned her with that unfair report.   They declared that demons inspired her revelations.   The tribunal decided that unless Joan recanted, she was to die as a heretic.   At first she refused.   But later, when she was taken before a huge throng, she seems to have made some sort of retraction.

Cauchon visited her, observed her dress,and determined that she had fallen back into error.   Joan, her strength renewed, then repudiated her earlier retraction.   She declared that God had truly commissioned her and that her voices had come from him.   Having condemned Joan of Arc as a relapsed heretic, the judges remanded her to the state for execution.   The next morning she was taken into Rouen’s public square and burned at the stake.

Twenty-three years later, however, Joan’s mother and brothers asked that her case be reopened.   Pope Callistus III appointed a commission to review the matter.   In 1456, the new panel repudiated the trial and verdict and completely restored Joan’s reputation. Once again her piety and exemplary conduct had triumphed.

We have exciting news! Shakira has just announced the EL DORADO WORLD TOUR PRESENTED BY RAKUTE, with dates across Europe and North America confirmed (Latin American dates will be announced at a later date).

Tickets go on general sale beginning Friday, June 30th at 10am local time.

As the official presale credit card for Shakira’s EL DORADO WORLD TOUR, Citi® cardmembers will have access to purchase presale tickets beginning Tuesday, June 27th at 10am local time through Citi’s Private Pass® program. For info, please visit

Viber, one of Rakuten’s subsidiaries, will also hold a presale for its users beginning Wednesday, June 28th at 10am local time and a Live Nation presale will begin Thursday, June 29th at 10am local time.

Here’s the full list of shows announced so far!

08 Nov-17 Cologne, Germany Lanxess Arena
10 Nov-17 Paris, France AccorHotels Arena
11-Nov-17 Luxembourg, Luxembourg Rockhal
12 Nov-17 Antwerp, Belgium Sportpaleis
14-Nov-17 Amsterdam, Netherlands Ziggo Dome
16 Nov-17 Montpellier, France Park & Suites Arena
17 Nov-17 Bilbao, Spain BEC
19 Nov-17 Madrid, Spain Wizink Centre
22 Nov-17 Lisbon, Portugal MEO Arena
23 Nov-17 La Coruña, Spain Coliseum
25 Nov-17 Barcelona, Spain Palau San Jordi
28-Nov-17 Lyon, France Halle Tony Garnier
30 Nov-17 Munich, Germany Olympiahalle
03 Dec-17 Milan, Italy Medionlanum Forum
04 Dec-17 Zurich, Switzerland Hallenstadion
09-Jan-18 Orlando, FL Amway Center
11-Jan-18 Sunrise, FL BB&T
12-Jan-18 Miami, FL American Airlines Arena
16-Jan-18 Washington, DC Verizon Centre
17-Jan-18 New York, NY MSG
19-Jan-18 Montreal, Canada Bell Centre
20-Jan-18 Toronto, Canada Air Canada Centre
22-Jan-18 Detroit, MI Little Ceasars
23-Jan-18 Chicago, IL United Center
26-Jan-18 Houston, TX Toyota Center
28-Jan-18 Dallas, TX American Airlines Center
29-Jan-18 San Antonio, TX AT&T Center
01-Feb-18 Los Angeles, CA The Forum
03-Feb-18 Phoenix, AZ Talking Stick Resort Arena
06-Feb-18 Anaheim, CA Honda Center
07-Feb-18 San Jose, CA SAP Center
09-Feb-18 San Diego, CA Valley View Casino Center
10-Feb-18 Las Vegas, NV MGM Grand

2015 Domaine Lafage Novellum Chardonnay

So this guy spent 3 months in tank on Viognier lees. How novel. If you will. Apple, tart lemon, white peach, honeysuckle, and vanilla on the nose. Rather full-bodied on the palate with apple, pear, and vanilla mid-palate. Tart lemon acidity to keep it balanced. Great value wine. I mean, it’s hard to find a Chardonnay from France for $11. Just sayin’.

4/5 bones



13% abv

Roussillon, FRANCE

it’s our power

(a lil’ playlist for tododeku since i love them so much)

listen here

1. brave zayde wolf | 2. ultralife oh wonder | 3. lights down low MAX | 4. where do you run the score | 5. smoke & fire cuebrick ft. KARRA | 6. false alarm matoma & becky hill | 7. someone to you BANNERS | 8. electric alina baraz ft. khalid | 9. shadows sabrina carpenter | 10. gravity leo stannard x frances | 11. this is why i need you jesse ruben | 12. drive GLADES | 13. the ocean mike perry ft. shy martin | 14. cinnamon jome | 15. carry you home tiësto ft. stargate & aloe blacc | 16. be there krewella |