fractured consciousness

Querencia

A place in which one’s strength is drawn, Where one feels at home;the place where you are your most authentic self.

Pairing:Jaebum x Reader

Word Count: 2638

Genre:Fluff/Romance 

Warnings:Mild Language

Request: JB story of him being very paranoid about him being very far away from his girl friend even though she surprises him at one of his concerts

Being a human being comes with many intriguing aspects about oneself that not even the universe can explain. All these complexities that go beyond the surface, a plane of existence that doesn’t exist on exterior. We choose to believe in certain reasons we tend to provide for ourselves to prove something far greater than anything, or is that even made up by the human heart as well?

These are the things that occur in a flurry through Jaebum’s mind as he goes through his everyday life wondering if his significant other will ever leave. Jaebum considers himself to be a lot of things, going from being the hard working leader that has to watch over his six other hatchlings to the paranoid idol that overthinks about the long distance relationship he has with his girlfriend. He considers himself as a complex being, experiencing a whirlwind of emotions that come to him all at once if the buttons are pressed right and hard enough. Talking about his girlfriend was a sensitive topic purely because he is afraid.

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You’re probably sleeping,
As I stare at the ceiling in
The room we used to share.
I still catch myself
Saying our,
Us,
We,
A disposed collective
That I grasp hold of
In desperation
In my heart.

You’re probably dreaming,
As I rebuild a rhetoric
In my fractured consciousness
That I’m a feature of your mind
In your repose.

Clawing myself into
An eventual torpor
My nights draw grey,
A dreamless sleep
As empty as
My hopeless days.