Finals Period False Productivity, better known as FPFP, is a terrible affliction most frequently occuring in people ages 18 to 26, usually presenting symptoms twice a year around December and April.
Most recorded cases describe the subject sitting down to study or write papers, zoning out for just a few moments, and then coming to their senses six hours later to discover they’ve started a new tumblr blog with an extensively customized css theme, watched the first two episodes of Star Trek: Voyager for no reason, and used whiteboard markers to make a giant color-coded outline of the next issue in that fiction series they’re writing in their free time. Their telltale screams are clearly audible across the blogosphere, while the Paper-That-Must-Not-Be-Named flaps its ominous wings and perches on the back of their chair.
(Note: this affliction not to be confused with FPLP, Finals Period Lack of Productivity, an even more dishabilitating disease which leaves the subject with the strength only to make more ramen noodles and click the “next episode” button on Netflix.)
If you know someone suffering from FPFP or FPLP, please do not hesitate to offer them hugs, chocolate, or words of encouragement.
And reassure them that since you read this on tumblr, you’ve probably got it too.