“So you’re saying that,” He paused, looking up to meet
my eyes. “Y’know, like. Dating me.”
As soon as the words left his
lips, I couldn’t help let out a small giggle. When the sound escaped my lips,
his head snapped up form looking at the floor and at my his eyebrows knotted
together. “What? What’s funny?”
I shut up, biting my lip to
keep myself from letting out another laugh. “Sorry,” I said, fighting the
corners of my lips from perking up. “Sorry, that wasn’t funny. It’s just,” I
trailed off, meeting Luke’s gaze once again. “Nothing, I don’t know. But yeah,”
I grinned at him, serious this time.
“Yeah what?” Luke asked,
eyebrows still scrunched together. “Your lip is bleeding again.” I blurted out
instead of answering his question. I turned around, grabbing another paper
towel and wet the corner, handing it to him. “What did you say yeah to?” Luke
asked, dabbing his lips with the towel I had just handed him.
“What are we talking about,
we keep changing the subject.” I told him. It was true though, the subject kept
changing. “Oh!” I exclaimed before Luke could say anything. “I said yes to your
question.” Was all I said.
The confusion on Luke’s face
cleared up, a smile now lining his lips as he stopped dabbing his lip with the
towel. “But you have to ask again because there was like a whole weird moment
right there.” I said, small laugh escaping my lips once again.
He nodded, clearly agreeing
with what I said about the weird moment and took a step forward, but still keep
a small distance from me with no physical contact. “Y/N,” He said, grin now on
his lips as he looked down into my eyes. “Would you like to go on a date with
me?” He asked after a pause.
This time I really couldn’t
help the big smile that pushed its way onto my face. “I don’t know,” I trailed
off, and as soon as the words left my lips he let out a whine.”Y/N,” He drawled
out, shoving me shoulder. “I’m just messing with you Luke; of course I’ll go
out with you.”
“Good,” He muttered, this
time hands reaching out to grab at my shoulders, hands sliding up to my neck
and fingers weaving through my hair. “One more thing,” He whispered, forehead
pressing against mine. “Hm?” I hummed, looking up into his cobalt eyes. “Can I
“Of course,” I mumbled as my
nose brushed his. His lips brushed against mine gently at first. When his lips
touched mine for good, it was like they bumped into mine. “Y’know,” Luke
muttered, not actually getting a real kiss in. “We seem to make out in here
again.” He giggled against my lips. “Do you have some kind of changing room
kink?” I teased, every time I moved my lips to talk they brushed over his.
“Princess you’ll have plenty
of time to figure all of that out.”
I pushed Luke out of the
changing room before I left, so that not too many people would think it’s
weird. Eventually I met up with him outside of the rink, and when he tried to
lace his hand with mine I slapped his hands away. “Why can’t I hold your hand?”
Luke punted, earning a small grin from me.
“Because you only get that privilege
when you’re dating me.” I told him, grin growing wider. My mouth shaped in a
grin soon gapped open when a gasped escaped my lips. Luke, that cheeky bastard,
had snaked his hand down a given my ass a little squeeze. “You don’t have that privilege
He just laughed, arm wrapping
around my waist to pull me close against him as we stumbled away from the rink.
Luke pressed a chaste kiss on my temple, earning a small giggle from me. “Why
were you laughing earlier?” He muttered, lips moving against your skin.
“What?” I asked, not sure of
what he was talking about. “When I first asked you if you wanted to like, date
me. You laughed. Why did you laugh?”
“Oh! Yeah,” I giggled again. “I
dunno, it’s just that.” I paused not sure how to word it. “When you asked me,
you seemed all like shy and insecure. And then sometimes you’re all like ‘I’m
the best hockey player, I’m so good.’” I imitated in a weird deep voice. “And
then other times your all like, pushing me against a wall and making out with
me. And then other times your like smiley and giggly.”
Luke rolled his eyes at me. “That’s
called being a person, Y/N. Everyone has different ways they act in different
situations.” I let out a laugh at his words. “I know, I know. It’s just,” I
paused again. “It’s cute.”
The corners of his lips
perked up again. “Do you think I’m
“No, you’re gross stop
touching me get away from me.” I giggled, shoving him off of me. “So where are
you going to take me out?” I asked, clapping my hands together in excitement. “That’s
a secret Y/N, you’ll have to find out if you want to come. Which I don’t think
you will if you think I’m gross.”
“Fine. Are we taking the bus
home?” I changed the subject for the thousandth time tonight. “yeah, but do
want to go get some food first?” It was well known to everyone that there was a
small restaurant place near the rink, within walking distance. “This is not the
first date though.” He quickly cut in, trying to make it clear. “This is like
the pre date. The first real date will be better than a cheap sandwich, I
“I’m not that hungry right
now actually but I bet you are. I hear that getting in fist fights really gives
you an appetite.”
“Shut up,” Luke muttered, I
glanced down at the small cut on his lip, poking it. “I was defending your
honour. You should, like, shower me in gifts.”
“Don’t worry princess I’ll shower
you in more than gifts.”
cattywampus (adjective): crooked, tipped over, sideways, crazy, messed up
Who came up with this cattywampus campaign slogan?
sourdough (noun): a longtime resident of Alaska
That sourdough is super old and kind of smelly, but he’s got a good heart.
snowbird (noun): a visitor who flocks to Arizona to escape the cold winter elsewhere
Here are two things that snowbirds love: playing golf terribly and telling everybody back home that it’s “a dry heat.”
tump (verb): to tip over or dump out
We’re about to hit this bump, so hold your drink or it will tump.
hella (adverb): very or extremely; (adjective): many, much, a lot of
That telenovela is hella melodramatic.
fourteener (noun): a mountain more than 14,000 feet above sea level
So far on this road trip I’ve counted 13 fourteeners!
glawackus (noun): a mysterious and ferocious animal/monster of local legend
Enjoy this map while you can, people, because the glawackus is real—and real hungry.
baggin’ up (expression): to laugh loudly or for an extended period
The clerk at the grocery started baggin’ up when he noticed all the packages of bacon Jerry had placed on the counter.
toad-strangler (noun): a heavy or especially severe rain storm
That rainstorm ended up being a real toad-strangler.
dingnation (noun): damnation, hell
Getting stuck at this impromptu choir bell concert is akin to being trapped in dingnation.
whistle pig (noun): a prairie dog
I tried to chase down the whistle pig in the yard, but it dove into a hole and disappeared.
grabowski (noun): a hard-working, tough, blue-collar individual
A true grabowski has no time for your linguistic squabbles.
Hoosier (noun): Someone from or living in the state of
Indiana, or a country bumpkin, depending on who is using the word and
This is an example of how to use “Hoosier” in a
sentence when you are not from Indiana and don’t really understand this
whole thing and are afraid of angering people by crafting something that
will be offensive in some way.
kybo (noun): port-a-potty
Whoa, I gotta go! Where’s the kybo?
shucky darn (expression): an exclamation that loosely equates to “wow!”
Shucky darn, that’s a yucky barn!
chughole (noun): a pothole
Our Ford Fiesta might struggle with that chughole.
banquette (noun): sidewalk
Estelle regretted wearing high heels after she tripped on a crack in the banquette and dropped her baguette.
ayuh (expression): yes
Ayuh. Nu-uh! Ayuh.
hon (noun): short for honey
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hon.
wicked (adverb): very; (adjective): awesome, great, etc.
That Broadway play was wicked!
yooper (noun): a person from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan
The Michigan state trooper pulled over the speeding yooper.
uff da (expression): a brief statement of surprise or disgust
Uff da, was Jesse Ventura really the governor at one point?
nabs (noun): peanut butter crackers
I’ve got tabs on the nabs, so they are not up for grabs.
graupel (noun): snow-like precipitation that resembles tiny ice balls
That rain was pretty annoying, but this graupel that stings when it hits you is just absurd.
runza (noun): a pastry consisting mainly of ground beef and cabbage
Runzas seem like they would be completely gross, but they are surprisingly delectable.
pogonip (noun): a dense, icy fog
Whatever you do, never attempt to use a pogo stick in the pogonip.
poky (adjective): scary or eerie
I can’t decide whether that Donald Trump impersonator is hokey or poky.
jug handle (noun): an intersection that forces you to turn right in order to turn left
Why can’t Springsteen call up Christie and have him do something about all these stupid jug handles in Jersey?
christmas (noun): green and red chili mix
Please pass the christmas—these chips could use some flavor!
mad (adverb): very, exceptionally; (adjective): many or several
De Blasio seems mad chill.
Cackalacky (noun): another name for North Carolina
I had a massive stomachache following our epic road trip to Cackalacky for some pulled-pork sandwiches.
hotdish (noun): a casserole
Trish knew her hotdish was delish.
carry-in (noun): a potluck dinner
What sort of casserole are you going to bring to Carrie Ann’s carry-in?
quakenado (noun): an earthquake that occurs at the same time as a tornado
This quakenado could really use some sharks.
jojos (noun): potato wedges
Guests at the dinner party reported that Joe’s jojos were just so-so.
yinz (noun): you all, you guys
If yinz people from Philly were making this list
then maybe you could have gotten “jawn” on here, or something about
cheesesteaks, but those are the breaks.
cabinet (noun): milkshake
I can’t believe you hid my chocolate cabinet in the backyard!
surcee (noun): an unexpected gift
She tried to conceal her disappointment at the fruitcake her grandmother had dropped off as a surcee.
chislic (noun): cubed meat
The only available appetizer was the chislic that made me sick.
whirlygust (noun): a strong wind
Just as we were about to complete the house of cards on the back porch a whirlygust rolled through and ruined everything.
hoss (noun): partner, friend
Hey, hoss, would you mind trussing that there pig?
oh my heck (expression): a variant on “oh my God”
Oh my heck, these kids talking in the movie theater are such a pain in the neck!
creemee (noun): soft serve
This chocolate and vanilla swirl creemee is totally dreamy.
might could (verb): can
Virginia might could be for lovers.
jumble sale (noun): a yard/tag sale
Rob’s jumble sale was a smashing success: Someone actually paid real money for all those stupid Beanie Babies he bought back in the day!
bamma (noun): a loser or chump
It’s only 9:30 and these bamas are already in their pajamas.
mess (used as a measurement): a mess of
Luckily, we made a mess of banana bread!
TYME machine (noun): an automated teller machine
Where can I find a working TYME machine in this town?
dout (verb): to put out a fire
Don’t dout the fire. For it exists and shall carry on.
Today we get to talk about Arceus, the great creator of the Universe according to Sinnoh mythology, and affectionately known as the God Pokémon among the fandom. Now, you’re probably wondering how we are going to tackle Arceus, given that we generally take pokédex entries from a strictly scientific standpoint. Well, today we are going to describe how Arceus might have created the Universe.
The leading theory of the formation of the Universe is known as the Big Bang Theory. Imagine with me, if you will, about fourteen billion years into the past. Everything that you think you know – your computer, the planet, the sun, our entire galaxy and more – was nothing but one single, tiny, and dense point in space. This incredibly hot (100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 degrees celcius) point contained everything that would become our Universe today. To do that, it had to expand.
Within the first 1x10^-35 seconds, the tiny universe had already cooled substantially and energy and matter started separating from each other; that is, matter started being created. With this, anti-matter was created as well and annihilted with matter, but a tiny fraction more matter appeared than anti-matter, resulting in a dominance of matter.
Before 0.0000000001 seconds went by, particle cosmology started to appear. These are the kind of reactions we recreate with particle accelerators today. Still incredibly hot and incredibly dense, but we start seeing separation of forces. What we think was originally one, unified force, split off into electromagnetism, gravity, strong and weak nuclear forces.
Finally, 0.01 seconds after the big bang, atoms started forming. Matter found its way into protons, neutrons, and electrons. Those started coming together to form Hydrogen and Helium.
After a minute goes by, the universe has cooled to 1,000,000,000 degrees celcius. For the next 100 million years, the universe continued to expand and cool. It became transparent, gases started to collapse and form into stars. Groups of stars formed into galaxies. Stars died, and in their explosions expelled carbon, iron, calcium, uranium, and every element on the period table into space. The ingredients of life.
But the Big Bang isn’t over yet. It’s not something that “happened”, it’s something that is still happening. The Universe is still expanding, atoms and particles are being formed every moment. There is no set place where it happened because we are still inside that expanding singularity from nearly 14 billion years ago.
So if Arceus truly created the Universe, it created it all from a single, hot point: and it all expanded from there.
We were lying next to each other, on our sides so we were face to face. So close that with one simple movement, my hand was already strewn on his cheek, feeling his stubble underneath my fingertips as I tried to take in as much of him as I could at this moment.
“I feel like the second I let you go, you’ll disappear,” he let out placing his hand on top of mine as I let out a small reassuring smile
I pressed my ear against the wooden door trying to hear the muffled voices on the other side, but the screaming match seemed to have died down making me believe that they were finally working things out. I texted him to see what was going on.
We don’t hear anymore yelling, do you want the door opened?
“Just let them out alright, I’m sure Luke will kill you either way,” Michael groaned at me
“I’d kill you if you locked me in a room with her,” Calum added on scoffing as I shushed him
“You don’t know the truth,” I told them
“What truth is there? She’s an a fucking bitch, that’s all there is to it,” Michael said as if it was the simplest thing in the world, but it was the exact opposite
“Just give her a chance,” Julia reminded them as they both rolled their eyes
“Open the door and let her talk to us then maybe we’ll give her a chance,” Calum said
“Luke needs this, you know he does. Regardless of whether the two work things out or not, he needs closure,” I said but they still shook their heads in dissaproval
“I’m getting a beer,” Calum said disregarding everything I had said before walking away with Michael following behind him
Sighing, I sat down on the chair that kept the door closed before leaning my head against it in frustration. I had only found out the truth about everything less than an hour ago but it made me feel so disgusted to allow the guys to say such bullshit about her, I couldn’t tell them the truth because I promised Josie that she would get the chance to do it herself, and I had already broken one of my promises to her tonight.
“They’ll understand once they know what really happened,” Julia reassured me placing a hand on my shoulder
“You’ve been standing up for Josie since the beginning, but you never even knew her, why?” I questioned out of pure curiosity
Whenever we talked about Josie around Julia, she was always the first to defend her.
“I didn’t know her personally, but by the way she looked at Luke, I could tell she was in love, and you don’t hurt the people you love,” She explained as I looked up at her
“Sometimes you do,” I shrugged thinking back to how badly I had fucked things up with Julia. She had every right to be mad at me, hell, I’m furious with myself at the way I’ve been acting, but she was still here to tell me that everything would be okay regardless of how angry she was at me.
“What do you mean?” She questioned before pulling up a random chair from the hallway to sit next to me. Sitting on the side of the chair with her knees faced toward me, she leaned her elbow against the back of the chair and listened closely for my answer. Even with our surroundings being a party, she was still so intent in having meaningful conversations that actually mattered, she was never one for small talk regardless of the situation.
“I’ve hurt you plenty of times,” I finally admitted to myself in a sad low voice hearing her let out a sigh
“Never on purpose,” She added as if it made it okay
“But I still hurt you,”
“And you’ve apologized every time,” She said resting her head against the door like me, this time it was my turn to look at her. Connecting to her hazel eyes, she stared back waiting for any response from me, but we were interrupted by my phone vibrating. Taking it out of my pocket, I looked at the screen reading what Luke had replied to me.
No. Not yet.
We had been talking for hours now in the same positions next to each other. It had felt so easy, so free, to be speaking to her, as if nothing bad had ever happened between us. I always kept a hand or just any body part in contact with her at all times to make sure that she was still there with me. She was the first to fall asleep, listening to me ramble on and on about the new music we had been writing for the past few days, but I couldn’t blame her because I was exhausted by now too.
I didn’t close my eyes right away, the sight of her was too precious to look away from. I was resting my hand on my head watching the way she slept, she looked the same as she did months ago, but different at the same time. I could see the way her eyes looked a little more sunken as if she was tiring herself out a lot more than she should be. Her hands were held up resting against her face and I could see the blisters on her fingertips and her palms that almost matched mine from all the late nights glued to the guitar, constantly writing songs. She was tired, and so was I, but at least we could be fucking exhausted together.
Carefully, I moved a strand of hair from her face, but even with my light movement, she woke up slightly. Without having to open her eyes, she scooted closer to me, snuggling her face into my neck while I wrapped an arm around her. I could feel her place a lazy kiss on my jawline before mumbling.
“Please be here when I wake up,” She spoke softly
It wasn’t a little later after that, feeling her soft breaths blowing against my neck that I began to relax and let myself fall asleep. When I woke up the next morning, it was her this time who I found staring at me. Her head was rested on her arm while the other was placed on my neck, running her fingers on the hair on the back of my head ever so slightly in an attempt to keep me from waking up.
“It’s ridiculous how pretty you are, Luke,” she let out making me smile
“And it’s ridiculous how beautiful you are, Josie,” I replied barely able to let my voice go any octave higher since I had just woken up. My throat was dry and raspy, but it fit the environment so to speak. All was quiet. I hadn’t even remembered the rest of my surroundings until I laid flat on my back rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes as my vision got clearer. We were still in the room of Alex’s party house.
“Shit- do you think there are still people here?” I questioned letting out a yawn as I sat up slowly hearing her let out a sigh
“We could check,” she shrugged before sitting up with me, placing a kiss on my cheek and leaving her face inches from mine until I turned my head. I didn’t care about the morning breath, and hopefully she felt the same because I didn’t even hesitate when I placed my lips on hers. Although my lips were chap from the dry morning, hers still remained soft and unbelievably irresistible to me. She pulled away, laughing when my head followed her motions making me fall forward a little in search of her.
“We can continue that later,” she smirked before lazily sweeping her legs off the bed and standing up. Her robe was hanging loose now from the night’s sleep. One shoulder was bare as the robe hung on the other yet the fabric still managed to remain tied around her waist covering the most important parts. She looked stunning in the morning even if her make up was slightly smudged and her hair was in a mess, I found myself getting snapped out of my own mind once I saw her holding out her hand for me to take.
“Get your ass out of bed,” she spoke once I stood up intertwining my fingers in hers. Reaching the door, we were reminded of the most significant element needed in opening the door, at least from our side of the frame, the door knob.
I called Ashton, hearing him answer groggily seeming as he had just barely woken up as well.
"Hello?” He questioned
“Hey, are you still at the house?” I asked
“Yeah, I told Alex what happened and he gave me the keys to lock up since he’s on his way to his honeymoon,” he explained
“Could you open the door then, please?” I asked before beginning to hear footsteps coming from the opposite side of the door. The two of us backed up letting the door open as we finally got a glimpse of everything outside of this room. It was a mess from the party, something that a cleaning crew would not enjoy, but we easily maneuvered through the home seeing Julia still waking up on one of the couches on the bottom floor.
“You guys slept here?” Josie asked still holding my hand in hers as she spoke
“If we didn’t, you two would’ve been locked in there for forever,” Julia yawned letting out a lazy chuckle
"Where are Cal and Mike?“ I asked
"They left when the party ended,” Ashton shrugged giving a sad look to Josie before I heard her let out a soft “oh". They didn’t know yet.
I found myself pressing myself up against the side of Luke trying to find comfort in the fact that his two best mates still hated me at the moment and I could tell that he noticed by the way he gripped on a little tighter to my hand silently letting me know that he was there.
"I want to talk to them,“ I suddenly blurted out letting my mind move a million times faster than my mouth
"You sure? We could- we could maybe grab breakfast? Or something,” Ashton suggested not having faith in how positive the guys might respond to my presence if I actually did speak to them. But this was something that I didn’t want to hold off for any longer.
title: you (anchor me back down) series: mcu ; captain america ; thor genre: angst/drama/romance ship: darcy/bucky warning(s): mentions of kidnapping, human experimentation, violence, language, consensual sexual content rating: r summary: “I’ll be right back.“ Famous last words.
"I am concentrating.” Darcy is pretty sure 99.9 percent of her training routines with Eir lead to her defensively saying she’s already doing the thing, only to learn maybe she could be doing it better. Case in point–
“Then concentrate better.”
She rolls her eyes, but takes a deep breath and focuses on the energy shield she’s produced. Unlike the giant wall she created to keep Jane, Rogers, and Friends from pursuing them, this only covers her, like a box that keep anyone from reaching her. “I feel like a mime,” she mutters.
“Ahm. Sherlock, how long exactly would you say we’ve been together?” Sherlock
looked gravely at me for a moment, then reached behind him to take his
watch off the night table, “Two thousand two hundred and sixty days, ten
hours, and oh fourteen minutes.” I laughed. He prodded me, “You said
exactly.” “We’ve not been together since the minute we met, Sherlock.” Sherlock
sighed, “Fine, be tedious. You haven’t slept in your own bed in about
twenty two weeks. I suppose your calculations will hew closer to that
timeline.” “Hmmm,” I considered. “Feels longer than twenty-two weeks.” “Two thousand two hundred and sixty days, ten hours, and fifteen minutes. Yes, I agree.”
I tapped my fingernails on the desk, biting my pencil between my teeth. “Here’s your quiz! Actually try because the mark goes towards your end of term mark! Good luck.” The teacher spoke handing out a handful of paper. I sighed glancing at the freshly printed paper on my desk. I bit my bottom lip as I circled the multiple choice questions, the test was about three pages long and I was already sick of answering pity questions.
My eyes were glued to the window admiring the leaves that were falling from the oak trees outside. “Ivy please keep your eye on your test please, not the scenery outside.” My teacher said, leaning down beside me, I jumped at his sudden voice and turned back to my test which was only half finished. I found myself doodling on the side of the paper, where there was space.
All my mind could think about was Calum, the way he acted around me now, it’s like he has actually changed. I thought about how Calum kissed me the other night, I felt like I melted in his arms, I finally felt like I did back then. I finally finished my test, just in time before the time went off to put your pens down. “Pens down, hands up!” The teacher joked, nudging a small blonde girl’s shoulder that sat in the front row.
The was a mini crowd of laughs at his lame joke before he collected all the papers. “You’re free to leave now.” He said opening the door to let everyone out. Everyone filed out the room into the hallway to leave for lunch. I barged past a herd of cheerleaders to search for Lucy. I spotted her talking to Crystal and Sophia at the corner table of the cafeteria.
“So my lady, how did the date with the waiter go? Lucy wouldn’t spill a word to me.” Sophia patted a seat beside her, signalling for me to sit down. My heart pounded, I hated lying to them, but I couldn’t tell them yet. “Well, it went great. He took me to the ice rink, it was so romantic..” I paused, my voice was full of love and I knew it was. “Ohh tell us more.” Crystal gushed, her eyes glued to me.
“I kept falling over because I can’t ice skate, but he was always there to help me and pick me up. He taught me eventually though.” I laughed, my cheeks blushing and burning. “Oh that’s so romantic! I can’t wait to meet him again!” Lucy squealed, her smile brightly showing. I nodded awkwardly, avoiding the fact I was lying to my friends faces, I felt like a bad friend.
The Leaguers who knew Roy when he started as Speedy looking at him and seeing the fourteen year old who was kidnapped and held for three months. The Leaguers still remembering Ollie admitting that he wasn’t sleeping because of nightmares even a year later whenever he’s brought up for admission to the League. The Leaguers seeing Roy as a kid who never got over his trauma instead of a man who grew from it. The Leaguers dismissing Roy’s reluctance to have backup as childish stubbornness and forgetting that the person who was supposed to have his back wasn’t there when he needed him. Roy acting the way he does for a reason 2k15.
I can’t believe I meet my best friend in two weeks. Like it’s one of those things that I won’t fully be able to process until it actually happens. I ordered the tickets so long ago, and I will admit to wondering whether or not this would actually happen. But it is. In fourteen days I’m going to be in the same room as two of my absolute favorite people. It’s been a long wait to get to this point, but it’s a wait that has kept me going. It’s been a wait that has made me glad I stuck around. Because I am so so happy.
Things had been, well, weird between Calum and I since Tuesday. As I sat finishing a new post for Sundaes Not Sundays, the memories from the other day played through my head on repeat.
Our nap hadn’t lasted more than 1 hour. As soon as it was dinner time, I had been awoken by the sound of a camera and a flash. Shortly after, through slightly opened eyes I had seen Luke falling over the coffee table as he cursed his forgetfulness in turning his phone on silent.
Calum had started to wake as well and began sitting up without remembering I was still on top of him, my right leg curled around his body. He had almost pushed me off of the couch, but caught me with a laugh.
“What’s going on?” he asked, looking between Luke and I.
I had felt my cheeks turning red. Luke’s eyes were fixed on Calum’s arm that rested on my back and his mouth was turned into a smirk. I pushed myself off of Calum, having to momentarily straddle him to be able to shift my weight properly to sit next to him on the couch. He squeezed my butt, still only clothed in my damp, black swim suit bottoms and I swatted his hand away.
“Why don’t you tell me?” Luke said, wiggling his eyes.
“Oh my god.” I groaned, not one that was well versed in hiding my embarrassment. I hid my eyes behind my eyes as Calum and Luke exchanged looks.
What I had felt wasn’t butterflies. No, not at all. In fact, those whole few hours really hadnt settled quite yet. I had sat waiting for the moment Ashton Kutcher walked in with a TV crew telling me that I was indeed being punked- but then again, I’d have to actually be a celebrity of sorts for that.
I kept thinking about how Calum had never acted like this towards me. Calum had never even given indication that there were existing feelings that would cause him to direct this type of affection towards me. I mean, sure, Ashton and Bryana knew even when I didn’t that I had feelings for Calum. Bryana and Olivia had texted back and forth for weeks lists of different theories they had for when the two of us would finally happen (their words).
Thinking back to Tuesday, I regret how naive I had been post-nap to believe these actions from Calum were real.
I had been leaning against him as the three of us sat talking. During that time Luke had taken not five minutes from the conversation to look at his phone. I guess Calum had got the same idea to check social media, because he started scrolling through Twitter, using my lap as a table for his phone.
I diverted my eyes from the screen after seeing one too many negative comments about myself. I had been arguing with Luke over what food to order (I wanted burgers and he wanted pizza for the fourth day in a row) when Calum went rigged and nudged me away from him.
I had been taken aback, but too confused at first to notice that he was angry. He stood from the couch and towered over Luke where he sat.
“What the fuck were you thinking!” He yelled at the only tattoo-less member of 5SOS. I had never seen Luke look so small.
“Mate, calm down.”
“No take it down. what the fuck did you do that for?” The veins in Calum’s arms and forehead had looked as though they were about to burst through his skin. I couldn’t tell if he was red from sunburn or anger.
“Calum, it’s not that big of a deal..”
“What’re you talking about?” I had asked, wishing immediately that I had remained silent.
“Stay out of this Kendall.” Calum didn’t even take the time to look at me as he chastised me. “Luke take it down, I swear.”
I had grabbed Calum’s phone from its spot on the couch, grateful it was still unlocked. It was opened to Luke’s latest post on Instagram.
I squinted through tired eyes to see a picture of Calum and I napping from less than and hour ago, captioned: “It’s cool they’re just friends… #whyarewefriendswithyoupt5”
That was what he was so angry about? I agree that it was a dick move on Luke’s part. Ashton and Bryana still rarely posted photos together and they were dating.
“Why is it such a big deal Cal? It’s just a joke.” Luke appeared to be very fed up with Calum’s dramatics.
“It’s a big deal because people might actuallybelieve that I’m dating her!”
That was the worst blow Calum had ever delivered on my behalf. He had said the words so panicked… so disgusted. As though the thought of people believing (which they already did) that we were dating was going to ruin things for him. I had been naive. I had been hopeful. I had been stupid to believe that he could ever see me as more than a friend. That explains why he had been so quick to dismiss it in their interview.
The air had gone still with the realization of the words that had come out of his mouth. Luke looked to me with his mouth agape as he realized how I would receive Calum’s tone of disgust and panic. I couldn’t even look him in the eye when he followed Luke’s gaze to meet mine, the shock settling in between the three of us.
“Kendall, I didn’t mean-”
“I should go.” I cut him off, surprised at how calm the words had come out of my mouth.
“Wait, no. Kendall, please.”
He had reached for my arm as I stood up. I felt drunk. My body was heavy and the room seemed to be moving too slow to match how quickly I was gathering my bag and phone. When he grabbed my arm, I flinched as a reaction, my body in-distinctively remembering Caleb.
“Kendall.” His eyes pleaded for me to forgive him.
I had stood at the door wondering how long I would have to wait at the bus stop on the corner before I could break down in the back row when Luke started to follow me out.
“I’ll drive.” That’s all he said as he closed the door behind us, not even giving me the chance to see Calum for one last time before we left.
Luke had apologized numerous times since, calling and texting me everyday. And he wasn’t the only one. Calum had texted me that night trying to explain that he didn’t mean it the way it came out. Two days later and I still haven’t found the words to reply to him.
Luke on the other hand, I was meeting for lunch. He had been blaming himself for days, but I had convinced him that none of it was his fault. He hadn’t forced Calum to speak about the possibility of dating me as though it was equivalent to the plague.
Bryana had become furious when she found out, calling to share her feelings about how much of an ass Calum had been. She said that even Alison was mad at him, though I knew that Alison would never find anger in someone making me feel uncomfortable.. it had been her goal from the start.
As I walked into the sandwich shop to meet what I thought would be just Luke, I was greeted instead by three people. Bryana and Ashton sat alongside the tallest member of the band like they were supposed to be there. Normally, I wouldn’t mind, but I knew that the only reason they had come was to talk about Calum. If this had just been Luke like it was supposed to, I’m sure he would have allowed me to avoid this and talk instead about how the Earth formed if I wanted to.
“Hey guys,” I said, taking my seat next to my model of a best friend. And yeah, once you share being the focus of hate by millions of girls together and hang on to each other for support, you start to consider each other best friends.
“Hey sweetie,” Bryana said, patting my shoulder.
“So,” I said. “Who’s hungry? I’m starving. Do you think they have burgers here? Cuz you know, I’ve just been craving a burger with lots of bacon since the other night. Lots of pickles too..” I was nervous and trying to stay off of the subject that I could already tell was forming in Ashton’s mind. I thought Michael was protective, but Ashton would seriously burn whole cities for the people he cared about.
“I don’t think they have burgers..” Luke trailed off, looking at the menu for confirmation.
Of course they didn’t. The restaurant Luke chose was a new brunch spot in Sydney. The walls were a bright white and every table a lightened wood. The only color throughout existed in the numerous plants and cacti that hung from the ceilings and littered the floor. As I looked at the mostly vegetarian options and selective juices, I figured that it was probably Ashton that chose our dining for this afternoon and not Luke.
Ashton was about to ask something when the waitress came up and saved me.
“Can I get you guys started with anything to drink?” She smiled. She was either completely unknowing of the popularity of the guys seated at her table or was really good at hiding it and making them feel comfortable.
“I think we’re ready to order.” No Ashton, I’m not.
I think I choked on my sip of water when Luke followed in Ashton and Bryana’s footsteps and ordered a salad. I had barely had time to decide what I wanted and looked down in time to see that there was a veggie burger option that came with sweet potato fries. Close enough.
The waitress was gone too soon though, and I could feel the inevitable about to happen.
“You have to talk to him Kendall.” Ashton blurted out across the table.
“Straight and to the point..” I mumbled sarcastically.
“No seriously. He’s a fucking mess. He hasn’t talked to any of us aside from Michael in nearly 48 hours and we have a concert tomo-”
Ashton jumped as though someone had pinched him and I have a feeling it was due to Luke not so subtly kicking him under the table.
“Well,” Bryana said, facing Ashton. “He probably hasn’t talked to you two because you cursed him out and made him feel bad.”
“You guys didn’t,” I said, the exasperation in my voice showing through. I didn’t want them to treat Calum any differently on my behalf.
“He was an ass!” Luke said through gritted teeth.
“You don’t think I know that?” I nearly shouted back.
I needed to breathe. I started taking gulps of my water, hoping the time in between sips would allow me to calm down. My heart was racing faster than I would have anticipated being possible for what was supposed to be a nice lunch out with friends..
Bryana could tell I was perturbed, so she asked me to accompany her to the bathroom. When we got there, I let it out.
“I can’t do this! I can’t sit and talk about this over a casual lunch!”
She didn’t even stop me as I yelled at a pitch that was far too loud to be acceptable for bathroom conversation.
“Tell me everything that happened.” She wasn’t demanding, and I mentally thanked her for that.
So I explained it all to her. I was sure that at this point she knew as much as to how affectionate Calum had been towards me that day, and it even surprised me that she wasn’t mad about him liking me when for months he had casually been hooking up with her best friend. Instead, as I explained to her what she already knew and I had been too stubborn to come to terms with, she sat and listened outside of stall two.
I told her about how I was shocked, especially when in the interview he had made it seem as though he wanted nothing to do with me. Then, days later he came out of no where wanting to be as close to me as possible and even pulling me down to nap on his half-clothed torso.
She knew enough about how he had reacted for me to sum that part up. After I got to the part where Luke drove me home in silence only for me to leave the apartment building ten minutes later to get a tub of ice cream and some Twizzlers, she was pretty much caught up.
“What is?” I asked her.
“You finally admitting your feelings for him. And even more knowing that he has feelings for you and is being a complete asshat about it.”
“Bryana, I know that you have always wanted him to have feelings for me. And yeah, I have always wanted it to. But, I think it’s safe to say that at this point we have all determined Calum Hood’s very obvious lack of feelings for me..”
“I just don’t think he knows what to do with his feelings. Think about it. I know you weren’t around for his past relationships, if you can even call them that. Him and Alison were always sickening. They used each other. Then there were the other girls. He would have one night stands and summed it up to not having the time or energy, or even capability of having feelings.”
“Well geez, this is making me feel so much better.” I rolled my eyes at her description of Calum’s past romances.
“I don’t mean it like that! No. I mean it like, you’re the first girl that he has ever admitted to having actual feelings for. Hey, stop making those faces, he has! The first week you were around, all he could talk about was you. He would find any excuse to talk to you or get you to hang out with us. Then, there was a night that you were studying for your test in Australian history. We all sat around drinking to some soccer game that was on TV. Everyone was drunk enough that when Luke started to mess with Calum about how much he talked about you, he finally just gave in and told us all how much he liked you.”
I sat in silence, unable to process what she was saying. But, she wasn’t done yet.
“He talked about you like you were untouchable. He went on and on about how much he loved your smile, or your laugh, or how much of a klutz you were. He stalked Sundaes Not Sundays back to the beginning. It was week three of knowing you Kendall, and while we had all grown to love you and see you as a part of our family, Calum had fallen in love with you. After three weeks! I promise you that. Every time he’s been drinking, he comes to me, and sometimes he cries, but he comes to me and asks if he should pursue it and based on what you had told me I always said to give it time. He never saw himself as good enough for you.
But after that interview, when I saw how excited he got on live TV at the sound of your name, I knew it was time. He was hurting when he had to say that you guys were just friends, you could see it plain as day in his eyes. So, I called him and told him that if he didn’t go for it as soon as he got back, he would lose his chance.
Now, I don’t know why he acted the way he did when Luke posted that picture. Maybe he was afraid that you would feel uncomfortable with it being out there. Maybe he just wanted to talk to you about everything first, but I promise you it had nothing to do with his very real feelings for you.”
I stared at her, stunned. To say I wasn’t expecting her to say those words was an understatement. She had known his feelings for me all along.. they all had.
“I need to talk to him.” I said with determination.
“He’s at his parents for the night, Mali is back in town for something. The boys have a surprise though, we should probably get back..”
I agreed to go back to lunch, though at this point, any appetite that a person could muster up for a veggie burger was completely gone.
“OLIVIA!” I screamed, slamming our front door behind me.
She ran out of her room wearing just a bra and panties. In her left hand was a dress on a hanger that she was presumably about to change into.
“What?” She asked, out of breathe.
“You’re not going to believe what I have to tell you.” I was smiling so hard one would think I had just been handed front row seats to the Spring/Summer 2016 Givenchy fashion show.
“So tell me.” She said with impatience.
“Guess who’s new album comes out tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. and no one but us and the actual band know about it.”
It took her a few seconds to put the pieces together. I sat smiling, shaking with anticipation to tell her the other half of the news.
“They’re releasing the album tomorrow!? But they said it wouldn’t be for months.”
“Yes, well they are fucking liars and I couldn’t be happier for it. Now, I’m going to need a drum roll for this next part..”
I nodded towards her and she used the one hanger in her hand as a drumstick against the wall. The taps exceeded in pace, leading to the climax that was my next line of news.
“The one, the only, 5 Seconds of Summer, are having a surprise concert tomorrow night for the release of their album annnnddd a certain girl named Kendall and her really pretty best friend Olivia have scored two backstage passes to this magical, one night only event.” I was out of breathe by the time I finished. I doubled over and rested my hands on my knees at around the same time Olivia started jumping up in down like an excited 12-year-old.
“I love you! I love you! I love them! I can’t wait to tell Liam!”
“He’s invited too!” I yelled after her as she ran into the room to grab her phone. After an emotionally draining day, I fell to the couch and scattered the fluffy blanket that rested on it across my body. I cozied into the warmth, prepared to take a nap, or even go to sleep for the night, at only 6 in the afternoon.
Right as I fell my eyelids grow heavy with the transition to sleep, Olivia reemerged into the living room. I opened my eyes to see her standing over me with a sad look on her face.
“How was lunch with Luke?” she asked.
I grunted and sat up, forgetting this was a conversation we still needed to have. I filled her in on what I would now like to refer to as the famous bathroom conversation that Bryana and I had. I skipped no details, wanting to freak out and blush alongside my best friend at all of the things that Bryana said Calum had done because of me. She was unsteady with excitement, much like I had been internally as we had finished lunch earlier.
“So what does this mean? Have you talked to him?”
“No, not yet. He’s staying at his parents tonight and I didn’t want to just show up, but I also didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone. I mean, I have avoided his texts and calls for several days now.”
“I agree,” she said. “It’s probably best to talk to him about it in person.
"Tomorrow, after the concert. That’s when.”
“Well I personally cannot wait until you two finally have this conversation.”
“And I, personally, would rather walk across a sea of legos than have a conversation about my feeling with a boy that is far to pretty to be considered human.”
She was giddy with excitement. “I think this is the first time you have actually talked to me about your feelings for him. Like you actually just addressed his physical appearance.”
“Well anyone can see that the boy is not that hard on the eyes.”
“Whatever you say babe.”
She continued to poke fun at me, every so often actually poking me for emphasis to her glee. We sat for awhile, catching up on all of the feelings I didn’t know I could put into words. It was perhaps the most chick-flick moment in my life, but as I sat talking about Calum Hood as the way I had learned to know him, I knew I couldn’t wipe a smile from my face if I had tried.
ay my name’s andy, i’m fourteen and from the u.s. i really love my sun josh dun, tøp, motionless in white, mcr, fob, panic, etc. i also really enjoy cosplaying, makeup, space, and the evil within so ayyyy gotta write this on the lowkey during class
well, that’s a complex question! the phrase callout culture is in itself a criticism of the sj atmosphere, so your question put like that pushes for the answer of it’s bad, but it’s a lot less simple than that.
if you ask me, tumblr and probably sj culture in general (i can only speak for tumblr) does have a problem of jumping on people for slip ups and mistakes. that much is true. people often are just waiting for their non-faves to mess up so they can pounce and say look! i knew this person was problematic!
we saw that example where people found a six year old tweet from halsey where at fourteen she used a slur she heard on TV, which she had already learned from and apologized for. and shes an easy target because shes a bisexual mixed race woman.
all that said, however, i’m pretty leery of criticism of callout culture because its often to protect abusers. an abuser gets called out and people are like ‘wow, this sj crowd will pounce on you for anything amirite? callout culture!!!’
purplekecleon made a comic about how toxic callout culture was that went around and people agreed with it because it had truth to it, but they only made it to defend themself when they were outed as an abuser, and compare their own calling-out to the same kind of unfair nitpicking i mentioned earlier with halsey.
we need a balance, i think, but as for me personally, i put a lot less stock in general criticisms of callout culture than i used to. im more comfortable with criticizing specific examples as they come than condemning the whole atmosphere, because it’s less likely to spawn abusers. also, i dont think holding people accountable is a bad thing, as long as it keeps from being a witch hunt to defame their characters entirely.
My Number 3 Son had his first high school football game last night. He was one of the tallest guys on the field and looked much more grown up than his fourteen years.
My Number 2 Son is 18 today and came home to celebrate with us full of stories about college. He and I are heading out for his birthday shopping trip.
My Number 1 Son is also home for the long weekend and volunteered to surprise Number 3 by picking him up from school and hanging out with him doing whatever he wants until it’s time to meet up for Number 2’s birthday dinner.
It’s such a surreal mixture of emotions watching them all grow up–missing the babies they were, but being so ridiculously proud of the men they’re becoming.
Sad my husband is missing Number 2’s big 18th, but so happy to have all my young men with me again for the long weekend!