Since US history is all the rage now, I thought I’d share some of my favorite stories about the founding fathers.
-John Adams and Thomas Jefferson once visited the home of Shakespeare together… and both broke off pieces of one of the writer’s chairs so that they could take home souvenirs.
-When he was given an official surrender document during the French-Indian War, George Washington blindly signed the thing because he didn’t want to admit he couldn’t read French. In doing so, he basically solely accepted the blame of multiple war crimes. Somehow he wormed his way out of this… one of his methods was to blame his translator.
-Ben Franklin was forbidden from writing the Declaration of Independence because the founding fathers thought he would try to slip in puns and jokes.
-John Hancock was a convicted smuggler. Charges were dropped against him after he hired John Adams for a lawyer.
-Aaron Burr was a firm believer in the intellectual equality of men and women and lobbied for women’s suffrage.
-John Adams named his dog Satan.
-James Madison was our smallest president, at 5'4" and roughly 100 pounds.
-When he was 26, Washington bribed voters into electing him into office with alcohol… he gave certain voters about a half gallon for choosing him.
-Ben Franklin once wrote an essay urging scientists to “improve the odor of flatulence.”
-Jefferson warned Lewis & Clark to beware of giant sloths during their expedition.
-Adams and Jefferson were the original bros; after a lifetime of friendship, bitterness, and more friendship, they died hours apart on the same day- July 4th. Adams’ last words were, “Jefferson survives.” Well, not quite.
-Washington crossed enemy lines during the Battle of Germantown to return a lost dog to General Howe.
-The Star Spangled Banner was based off of a rowdy English drinking song.
-Alexander Hamilton’s descendants heavily edited and even hid some of his letters to his totally hetero bro, John Laurens, claiming “the content was embarrassing and indecent.”
-Ben Franklin opted for the turkey to be the U.S. national bird, claiming that bald eagles were cold and volatile.
-A few days before signing the Declaration, the Constitutional Convention got LIT. It’s rumored that the founding fathers drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 7 bottles of Claret, 7 bowls of spiked punch, 22 bottles of porter, 8 bottles of whiskey and 8 bottles of hard cider in this one night.
Benjamin Franklin helped to create Impeachment Clause of US Constitution. He realized that if a president were to “render himself obnoxious,” then people would logically consider assassination unless there was a legal way to get rid of the president.
If there’s anything we’ve learned about Alexander Hamilton from one whole year of rap battles and choreographed dance numbers, it’s that he had a lot to say. In fact, the man was so voluble that I’m surprised he doesn’t rise from the grave every time anyone anywhere expresses an opinion just so he can give us his Thoughts on the Subject.
me:SHOW TIME SHOW TIME! YO! I'M JOHN LAURENS IN THE PLACE TO BE! TWO PINTS OF SAM ADAMS BUT I'M WORKIN ON THREE! THESE RED COATS DON'T WANT IT WITH ME, CAUSE I WOULD POP CHICK-A POP THESE COPS TILL I'M FREE! OUI OUI, MON AMI, JE M'APELLE LAFAYATTE, THE LANCELOT OF THE REVOLUTIONARY SET! I CAME FROM AFAR JUST TO SAY, "BONSOIR!" TELL THE KING "CASSE TOI!" WHO IS THE BEST? C'EST MOI. BRRRAAH BRRRAH! I AM HERCULES MULLIGAN UP IN IT, LOVIN IT, YES I HEARD YOUR MOTHER SAY "COME AGAIN!?" LOCK UP YA DAUGHTERS AND HORSES, OF COURSE IT'S HARD TO HAVE INTERCOURSE OVER FOUR SETS OF CORSETS!
America’s Founding Fathers initially
had no political parties because they
tried to avoid the vicious fighting
they’d witnessed within the British
government, and they aimed to focus
on electing the best candidate for
presidency instead of becoming divided
over greed-driven competitions. Source