Gryffindor: Tower! The highest f**king tower! F**k yeah! TOWER!
Hufflepuff: But don’t you think that’s a bit far away from everything, they’ll have to climb dozens of stairs every day…
Hufflepuff: Oh for the love of…
Slytherin: I’m going for under the lake, LIKE A SUPER-SECRET LAIR!
Hufflepuff: But Salazar, won’t that be a bit dreary? And we’ll have to add dozens of charms to keep it dry, it will take loads of magic…
Slytherin: Super. Secret. Lair.
Hufflepuff: Fine! Fine, we’ll spend bloody hours drying out some rooms under the lake, Merlin. Rowena what about you?
Hufflepuff: But… All the stairs, the isolation from the other houses…
Ravenclaw: Exactly. They’ll focus better if they’re miles away from everything else. Also, anything he can build, I can build better.
Hufflepuff: Seriously? You’re going to compete over towers?
Gryffindor: GOING DOWN ROWENA!
Slytherin: Underground is better.
Hufflepuff: For f**ks sake, I give up. If anyone wants me, I’ll be in the kitchens.