found this at the mall

Pyramid Scheme scammer ends up paying in the end!

(very long story)

About 6 or 7 years ago, I was trying to enlist into the military. I ended up not joining but that’s a story for another time. At this point, I was led to believe I was about 4 months away from leaving for Boot camp. I was running out of savings, and needing a part time job for some spending cash while I waited around.

So I did what any enterprising 20something would do, and searched craigslist for jobs. I normally hate sales jobs, especially those based on commissions, but figured it would be a great way to earn some extra cash short term. Found a few job listings that looked promising, and put out some applications. A few days later I received a call from David. He was opening up a new store and needed associates. He liked my resume and asked if I’d be available for an interview on Friday morning. I was very up front with him, and let him know that the distance was a bit more than I’d normally drive for a retail job, and asked what he was offering for an hourly rate, to see if it was worth the drive. He told me that they were planning on offering an hourly rate in the mid teens, along with commission. Seemed like an ok deal, so I agreed to be there Friday at 8am.

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what actually happened was luke took ben solo to the mall for his 14th birthday to get him his first suit from banana republic right like classy but not too expensive and while luke was picking out ties he lost track of ben and had to comb the entire mall and he found ben in a hot topic trying on cargo pants and south park t-shirts and he was like “ben what are you doing these clothes are so ugly” and ben was like “fuck you uncle luke, grandpa would have let me wear this” and luke said “this isn’t fashion this is trashion” and ben immediately turned to the dark side

Mafia!Got7 when they think your dead but your just going shopping/ hyung line

Got7 as Mafia members when they can’t find you and think your dead, but your actually just going shopping.


Jaebum:

You knew you had forgotten something, but since you really couldn’t remember what, It couldn’t have been something important. Right? Wrong.Turns out you didn’t leave a message for Jaebum telling him you were buying some clothes. Even though you knew he always freaked out when he didn’t know where you were.

You just got yourself a knew dress and left the first store, when suddenly you saw a crowd of people watching the entrance of the mall. You were curious, so you made your way through the people. As soon as you saw what they were watching, you facepalmed yourself. Jaebum was basically waltzing trough the front door with some of his people, not looking very happy.

“Next time you go shopping. at least take a knife with you…”

“Jaebum!!”

“What? That’s normal, isn’t it?”

Originally posted by princetuans

 

Mark:

 

As soon as he woke up and couldn’t find you anywhere, he would freak out. Did something happen to you? Did someone kidnap you? What, if you’d left him?! He should have watched over you better, he promised it after all.

When you suddenly came into his room, carrying some shopping bags, he would look at you with his eyes wide open, wondering if he should get angry or laugh at himself.

“So, you were shopping? Nice. That was the last time for you tho.”

“But Mark, I need clothes…”

“Who said that?”

Originally posted by markificent

 

 Jinyoung:

At first, he would just wonder where you were and why you didn’t tell him. He really wanted you to feel free, but he also knew it was dangerous for you out there since he was pretty known amongst his enemies. But you didn’t answer his call and he couldn’t find a message of you anywhere, so he decided to call his people in, panicking a little bit.

“Ok guys, so my lovely (Y/N) is nowhere to be found and I want to know where she is. So get the f*ck over here and search for her or I’ll blow up the Cafeteria.”

(Tries to act calm but is about to burn the house down)

When the guys finally found you at the shopping mall and bring you back, he looks at you with a small, relieved smile. However, his eyes are telling you that you better come up with a good excuse.. or make it up to him.

Originally posted by jypnior

 

Jackson:

“Oh my god, where is she? They kidnapped her for sure. What if they killed her? What if she’s dead?”

He would be going on the other boys nerves the whole day, being sure you were abducted. After all, you wouldn’t run away, would you? He would debate about wether he should waltz into the hiding place of his enemies or if he should save you with a ruse, when suddenly you just walked into the house, completely unaware of what was happening. The other guys would quickly get out of the room, probably laughing at him. However,basically for the first time in his life, Jackson wasn’t amused at all.

“Well, hello. I was just about to blow the world up because of you. But please, make yourself comfortable and don’t mind me… ”

(Doesn’t let you leave the house for the next month at all)

Originally posted by jacksonwangism



Should I do this for the maknae line too?

Thanks for reading, I hope you guys liked it~~

Admin I

MAKNAE LINE HERE

Proof that Lance is a Naruto fan in every universe

Changing Room Dare

One of the ways that we spice things up is by giving each other sexy “dares”.  I particularly, find it thrilling to complete dares because I know how excited my husband gets and they make me feel sexy and naughty. For this dare, my husband picked out a pair of purple satin string bikini panties for me to wear under my skirt. As part of the dare, I needed to bring my big purple dildo into a dressing room and use it on myself.

I headed to the mall and found a store that wasn’t crowded and went into the dressing room and took off my skirt and tank top. I took a picture of my panty covered ass and texted my husband. He called me on video chat, and I saw him stroking his cock on camera. It was so hot to see how much I was turning him on that I began fingering my pussy. I flipped the camera view around so my husband could watch me.

I pulled the dildo out of my purse and slide it under my panties to tease my wet pussy. I felt so naughty. I placed the dildo on the dressing room mirror, pulled my panties to the side and fucked it from behind as I watched my husband stroke his cock till he came all over himself. After I came, I took off my panties, wrapped them around my dildo, put them back in my purse, got dressed and headed home.

When I got home, I tossed my wet panties and dildo to my husband and said “dare completed, what’s next!”

#hotwife 💦😈

HAPPY 100 FOLLOWERS!

[Well not anymore since we’re approaching 200 somehow, but you get the drill.
Anyways, thanks for 100 followers! Here’s some Paladin centric HCs for you guys!]

★ Keith convinced Pidge to try on Allura’s crown while she wasn’t paying attention

  • It got stuck on her head and they panicked and tried to cut it off with Keith’s sword

★ The “””Bonding Moment””” is a meme forever engrained in paladin history

★ Pidge voice: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a lion should be able to fly

  • Lance, sliding across a table towards Keith: So, ya like jazz?

★ Everyone has seen high school musical so whenever they form Voltron, they scream the chant

★ Lance convinced everyone to do facemasks as a bonding exercise

★ Alteans never grow hair anywhere besides their head and face

  • Lance remembered all the time he’s spent shaving and cried

★ It’s an ongoing joke to lean towards Keith at random times to see if he’s turning purple yet

★ Shiro found a space Sephora in another space mall and broke down in tears while Keith just patted his back awkwardly

  • “Listen, I know it’s been a while, but people are staring. Shiro, get up, you’re the black paladin omg”

★ It’s a regular thing for Hunk to just carry another paladin around

Hunk voice: It’s a castle, it’s a ship, it’s a castle ship!

★ Pidge, Coran and Hunk upgraded the Gladiators to be more challenging and unpredictable, but in the end almost ended up killing everyone

  • Allura and Lance ended up taking them out

★ They all changed outfits once out of boredom

★ Shiro found a group chat setting in the lions, and just sent a shit ton of lenny faces

★ Shiro knows for a fact that Keith has been pining over Lance since before all this Voltron Nonsense, and proceeds to be the annoying brother Keith wished he never had

  • Shiro, thirsty for gossip and enjoys making his brother suffer: So what’d say to him once you saw him for the first time since the Garrison
  • Keith, already planning ways he can kill himself: I pretended i didn’t know him
  • Shiro, spitting out his nunvil: yoU DID W H A T

★ Coran’s mustache got cut off once, and everyone was horrified.

  • It??? Grew back in a day though????

★ Pidge climbs onto the nearest person when she gets scared

Lance voice: We are Voltron bum ba dum bum bum bum bum

★ Coran is the one to insist he doesn’t have a favorite, but everyone knows it’s Lance

★ The paladins tried to find out if Shiro wore eyeliner or not

  • They camped out in the rafters, courtesy of Pidge, with motion detectors in Shiro’s room and cameras in every bathroom
  • They didn’t get their answer, and Keith fell out the rafters

★ Hunk: Gee, it sure seems like updog in here

  • Lance: Hunk no
  • Coran: What??
  • Hunk: Y’now updog
  • Allura: What??? Is updog???
  • Hunk is too busy screaming to answer, and Lance is done

★ Kaltnecker is still around and scares the crap out of the paladins

  • Lance, jumping five feet into the air: hOLY COW
  • Hunk, Pidge and Keith: ( ° ʖ °)
  • Lance: NO

★ Everyone has a group chat where the scream about Klance

★ Coran and Shiro scream the most since Keith and Lance respectively go to them more often

★ They quietly whisper right hand man whenever Allura shows up in her battlesuit

★ Alteans can glow and nobody finds out until the castle has a blackout and the paladins are shook

  • Lance: i toLD YOU GUYS THIS CASTLE WAS HAUNTED
  • Coran: Worry not paladins! We’ve got the situation under control
  • **Allura and Coran begin glowing**
  • Pidge, quietly underneath her breath: yo wtf

★ The paladins find out they can have elemental powers and proceed to freak the fuck out

  • Lance: WHAT IF KEITH LIGHTS ME ON F I R E
  • Keith: WHAT IF YOU DROWN US
  • Pidge: I am the Lorax i speak for the trees
  • Hunk: I can be friends with the Balmera!
  • Shiro: I can finally fly away from all my problems

★ They all unlock them in different ways

  • Keithy-boi accidentally lights his pillow on fire because he was thinking about Lance
  • Somebody makes the mistake of pissing off Hunk and a rock goes flying towards them
  • Shiro was finally chilling until Lance started screaming that he was floating
  • Pidge got really frustrated about an invention while they were on another planet and a bunch of trees surrounded her
  • Last but not least, Lance got super homesick at one point and all the sudden all the waters on the planet started rising

Allura, sitting at a table, eyebrows pinched in thought: What the quiznak is a peanut?

Paladins, pouring nunvil into tiny cups: SHOTS SHOTS SHOT SHOTS

★ Hunk has blackmail on everyone, but will only use it if he deems it completely necessary

★ Nobody ever lets Pidge curse and she is Tired™

★ On several occasions have the Green and Yellow lion had to save their paladins from doing something stupid in the name of science

★ Everyone tried to make lightsabers

  • They were in space so why not??
  • They cut off Coran’s mustache again

★ They went to a planet and drank something?? They next thing they knew is that they were in the castle, Hunk suddenly had longer hair, Pidge’s glasses were gone and that Keith and Lance had strangely similar rings

★ Lance made everyone matching letterman jackets

  • Coran and Shiro teared up

★ Pidge and Hunk made Lance a camera and he screamed

★ Existential crises become a normal thing

  • Shiro, suddenly pausing his training: We’re just fucking power rangers
  • Hunk, dropping Pidge who he was carrying: Oh my god—to Allura and Coran we are the aliens
  • Keith, stopping in the middle of an argument: My entire life, i wondered if aliens were real while i was an alien

★ Everyone assumes its Hunk who doesn’t curse, but it’s actually Lance

★ “How many episodes of Steven Universe have we missed oh my god”

Allura, who just found this out about balloons from Shiro: Ah, Pidge! how exactly does one get square balloons?

  • Pidge, finally seizing her chance: You blow square breaths
  • Allura, holding one finger up: (ό‿ὸ)ノ w h a t

★ Hunk remembered they disappeared before he got to see Moana and just laid down on the floor for several hours

  • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is basically his dad meaning Hunk missed his dad’s disney movie.

★ They accidentally stole a Yupper that was owned by Prince Lotor

Shortly after forming Voltron: What in formation?

★ Hunk has made a mental note of how many times he’s been right about people not being trustworthy

  • It’s 157

Shiro at one point: jeez we need an adult

  • Shiro, this time horrified: wait i am the adult

★ “It’s not gay if it’s in space.” “Actually the moon is a lesbian, so it is gay. check and mate, Lance.”

Pidge, aggressively: kISS KISS FALL IN SPACE YOU LOSERS

★ They programmed the castle to play the wii music, and Shiro nearly went on a rampage

★ Lance actually ended up knitting all the arusians sweaters

★ “We are beauty, we are grace, we are just gays lost in space” “Shiro liKES MEMES?”

★ Aliens are lowkey terrified of humans now

  • “The black paladin got his arm ripped off and managed to escape the galra? Count me out

★ “Wait, Voltron is just five lions stacked on top of each other omg this is wild”

★ The castle is actually haunted somewhat

  • Nobody knows by who, but they know weird shit is always going on

★ “Who you gonna call?” “VOLTRON”

★ They’re so confused on why Allura and Coran have british accents

  • We’re in space???this makes no sense????

★ Hunk tells Coran he’s helping him cook but really he’s making sure everything is safe for human consumption

★ Lance broke his arm once and Allura passed out

★ Lance and Hunk are the only ones with normal sleeping schedules

  • Coran is always awake?? Nobody knows if he actually goes to sleep, they’re afraid for him

★ Coran taught Pidge every way through the vents and she now uses it to her advantage

★ Hunk is always getting marriage proposals from aliens

★ Pidge has almost been adopted on several occasions

★ They start a service that kinda works like fan mail and are surprised by how many kids want to be them

  • “Why do all these kids want to be dead inside???”

★ The tag yourself meme becomes a usual thing

  • “Tag urself, im that king that keith accidently set on fire”
  • “I’m Shiro screaming hysterically”
  • “I’m that guy who just doesn’t give any shits”

★ Allura is forever deemed Space Beyoncé

★ Coran has a special cup to protect his mustache from getting tea in it

Lance, waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat: Does liking Keith make me a furry?

★ Voltron malfunctioned somehow and threw them all onto the planet they were saving and no one has recovered

  • “I WANT A FUCKING REFUND, THIS MAGIC CAT MAN THREW ME OUT BITCH”
  • Voltron somehow beat it on it’s own???
  • Everyone is salty bc it did a better job than they ever did

★ “It’s okay if you’re a furry and a texan, we still love you.” “i alREADY HAD TO DEAL WITH YOUR BROTHER BUT NOW T H I S”

★ Slav hangs around and drags everyone into the Multiverse theory

★ “gO GO POWER RANGERS” **bad sound effects**

★ They argue over what sound the particle barrier makes

  • “Guys, no. it makes that sound when you hear a window opening, y’know?”
  • “No, Lance, it’s more like the sound you hear when you’re on a swing”
  • “Both of you are wrong, it makes that sound you hear when you drop out of the sky”
  • “WE ARE STILL FIGHTING THE GALRA. But it actually makes a noise kinda like Shwooop.”

★ “How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals??”

  • “Hire Voltron”
  • “Everyone started hiring Voltron”
  • “Rich important people hired Voltron. Poor people who could not afford to hire Voltron did not hire Voltron”

★ **The Galra start attacking the ship** “Knock knock, it’s the Galra. With huge ships. With guns. Gunships.”

★ Shiro voice: Think about it, everyday we get one day closer to getting nachos

  • Hunk voice: that’s actually really nice
  • Pidge voice: what if i die tomorrow and don’t get nachos?
  • Keith voice: then tomorrow is nacho lucky day
  • Lance voice: nO

★ Lance is always the last to find things out without fail

★ Once something was inside the castle that basically put people into a coma when the went to sleep, so everyone had to stay up for at least 2 weeks straight

  • Keith was so sleep deprived that he told Lance bad space pick-up lines for two hours while they cuddled
  • THEY WEREN’T DATING YET

★ They have a board that reads “The last time we did something gay”

  • The longest they’ve gone is 4 days

★ Everyone always forgets what number they are

  • Coran: Come on, number 3, I have something to show you!
  • The Paladins:  **Caveman spongebob meme**

★ “hEY NOW, YOU’RE IN VOLTRON, GET YOUR LION, GET REKT”

★ They have Bonding Sessions where they talk about their families and what they hope they’re doing

★ Everyone thinks it’s Keith or Pidge who talk about punching Iverson, but nope, it’s Hunk

  • He told everyone that Matt, Professor Holt and Shiro were dead and is probably telling his family the same thing
  • He’s not letting that shit slide

★ They visit Balmera regularly so Hunk can see his rock girlfriend

  • BALLmera is life amirite?”

★ Everyone has so many questions over Allura’s hair

  • “Is her hair made out of clouds, or am i dreaming?”
  • “How did she get all of that into a bun? i can barely put my hair into a ponytail wtf”

★ “I’m paladin” “I hate this fucking family”

★ No one can count how many times they’ve seen Keith staring at Lance while he wasn’t looking

Coran, obviously frustrated shortly after Pidge goes missing at some point: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN?

  • Hunk, quietly, but with a lot of feeling: You forget to cherish her
I’m Blue Too

Originally posted by protectbuckybarnesatallcosts

Kurt Wagner x Reader

I’m Blue Too

Author: Morgan

Warnings: None?

Prompt: Can I get a Kurt one where he’s still pretty new and people stare at him bc he’s blue so you find a bunch of like blue hair dye and dye your hair blue but decide that’s not enough so you dye your skin blue and then see him an say “I’m blue too!”

Note: Took a little bit of creative liberty here, hope you don’t mind! J I haven’t written for my smol beeb in sooooooo loooooong omggggggg. I didn’t realize how much I missed him. That said, I’m a bit rusty, so please forgive me while I get back into the swing of things.

Kurt had not yet adjusted to all of the pairs of eyes that watched him at the Mansion. Performing in the circus was one thing. People watched him because he wanted them to. Now he as here, and the other kids couldn’t seem to keep their eyes off of him. Though he didn’t really talk about it, Jean knew it bugged him, and she in turn had told you.

Despite the fact that the elf hadn’t been there long, you still had a soft spot for him, and you wanted him to feel welcome. That was when you found the blue hair dye at the mall. And a beautiful idea had struck you.

One very, very blue night later, you were ready to show Kurt.

It was a beautiful day out. The sun was shining, and because classes for the day had ended, the courtyard was full of mutant children playing with Frisbees and flying kites and messing with their powers. The usual squad was assembled under the tree. Of the group, only a few knew about your new development. Even now, your hair was up in a bun and hidden in a hood.

Kurt was sitting cross-legged between Scott, Peter, and Warren as you, Jean, Ororo, and Jubilee came to sit with them.

“Hey guys.” Jean greeted casually, as though nothing had happened. You pulled the hood off as you took your seat beside Kurt.

“Guten tag,” he smiled a sharp-toothed grin, his adorable blue dimples making themselves known as his tail waved behind him contently. God, he was cute. It made your heart race as you took the newly blue hairs out of the bun that sat atop your head. The wavy locks fell to rest on your shoulders. The boys all looked at you in shock, none of them exactly sure what to say.

Your hair was blue. Nightcrawler blue.

“Woah, what happened?” Peter asked.

“Well, I thought Kurt might be sick of everyone staring, so now they have something else to look at.”

“It’s blue….I am blue.” Kurt couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face or the finger that wandered to your loose blue curls.

“Well, now I’m blue too.”

“I ship it.” Jubilee stated.

“Ditto.” Warren lazily raised a hand. “When are we placing bets?”

“Shut up.” You threw a handful of grass at him. He chuckled. And though you knew they were teasing, you knew it would be sooner than later that you and Mr. Wagner would wind up together. Or at least, you hoped so.

What Tate was (probably) like when he was alive:

Originally posted by laysanj

(I did some headcanons at work but shh)

- Tate was probably a quiet punk kid 

- had depression 

- read comic books 

-  did art 

- got good grades 

- took care of Addie 24/7

- had a cat named Kurt and he the only thing that’d cheer Tate up

- like he’d come home to a empty house every day and Kurt would just meow and Tate would feel better after a shit school day

- And he’d lay with Kurt in bed listening to Nirvana like “yanno you’re named after him”

- "Watcha doing Tate?“"A E S E T I C”

- smoking

- had a job at a record or book store

- probably got bullied

- dyed his hair black for a period of time

- until Addie and Beau didn’t like it so he went back to blonde

- had all his cd’s alphabetically organized by band

- went shopping for food and clothes for him and his siblings bc his mom didn’t do it

- played with Addie and Beau; dress up, race cars, coloring, anything to make them happy

- found his skull thumb ring at the mall when he brought Addie dress shopping

- she picked it out actually

- “can we get ice cream Tater tot?””sure thing princess”

- wore his old clothes bc he didn’t have enough to buy HIMSELF new clothes

- skateboarded a lot

- when he and his mom or Larry fought he’d go to the beach and get high

- doodled on his school work

- “where do you wanna go to college, Mr. Langdon?””college? never really thought about it”

- lie. he did. a lot. mainly art colleges.

- cried in his shower bc of his mother’s abuse

- when he was home alone, he’d scream Nirvana lyrics with the music

- while he made like grilled cheese as his cat weaved around his legs

- sighing happily when he sat down, food in hand, cat in lap

- cringing when his mom comes home

- “Tate, I need you to watch the kids tonight; Larry’s taking me out””so it’s the usual nightly routine. got it”

- him holding Addie in his arms as they leave and shutting the door with his foot

- cooking chicken alfredo 

- putting her to bed 

- reorganizing his whole room when he lost things

- extreme bed head when looking in the mirror in the morning; sighing

- made lunch for him, Addie and Beau since his mom’s wasn’t there

- ushered Addie on the bus at 7

- then took off running bc his school started at 6:50

- papers flying from his brown messenger bag 

- cursing when the doors were locked

- ate lunch alone in the library, enjoyed the quiet

- “Mr. Langdon, I didn’t ask for sarcastic commentary””no but it just comes out of me”

- stole from the lost and found

(TWO THINGS; SHOULD I CONTINUE AND SHOULD I WRITE A FIC LEADING TO THE SHOOTING?)

EVAK FANFICS RECS / PART 7

ONESHOTS:

  • riches and wonders by anathema (azirapha1e)
    Summary: In some universes, love blossoms in swimming pools. In others, there are kittens involved.

  • #hashtag by Bellakitse
    Summary: Even gets Instagram, it’s all about Isak.

  • sickeningly sweet like honey by tomlinsoln 
    Summary: coffee shop!au; Even likes to write pickup lines on Isak’s cup.

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