foster cat problems

hey guess what it’s time for an anecdote about my fkn cats

Two of my three cats like to jump up on the desk and drink from my glass when they’re thirsty. Ceph, I would say is a good boy, except he drinks from the toilet instead. But Cassie and Jimmy, they’re glass drinkers.

Cassie just barely touches her tongue to the surface of the water in the sort of tiny little licks you’d expect of a dainty cat like her.

But Jimmy…Jimmy shoves his pointy fuckin’ weasel snout in there and puts almost a goddamn solid inch of tongue into the water with every lap. So they’re like

Cassie: *delicate feminine sips*
Jimmy: *GIANT FLOPPY TONGUE DOG-DRINKING*

Practice Makes Perfect, Cat/Kara, T

Changes the conversation between Kara and Cat at the end of 1x12 slightly. If Kara’s going to be bad at dating, well clearly Cat is going to be the one to fix that. Professionally (except not at all).

Obviously Kara dating Adam is mentioned, but trust me not in any way that’s going somewhere.

“Miss Grant?” Kara leans against the door, her knock fumbled and awkward. She doesn’t usually bother about interrupting Cat; she’s only approving the newest layouts.

“Hmm?” Great. Total disinterest.

“I don’t know if you talked to Adam…”

“I did.” Cat is retreating behind her desk, but Kara’s used to that. Sometimes it’s a defense mechanism, like with the letter discovery. Other times it’s a power ploy, to give Cat something to loom over in Kara’s general direction. “He’s leaving. He’s going back to Opal City.”

“So soon?” Kara can’t exactly claim to be surprised. He looked pretty chewed up for a guy who hadn’t even managed a full date with her.

“Yes, and don’t think for a moment I don’t know why,” Cat puts the layouts down at last, before practically collapsing into her chair. “Clearly no son of mine is impressed by the blushing maiden routine. I’d say he’s cutting his losses, but he assured me we’ll see each other now that I’m back in his life.”

“So he’ll visit,” Kara deduces. “I’m really glad I didn’t screw that up for you.”

“You don’t have to have screwed up for you, either,” Cat sighs. “My son deserves the best. The best schools, the best homes, the best girlfriends. You need to learn how to become a better date. The best date.”

“Miss Grant-”

“This is a condition of me not firing you for contacting him in the first place,” Cat cuts her off, waving one finger in that imperious way she has. “Get back on the phone to Mario’s place, make a reservation for 8 tomorrow.”

“For?”

“Two,” Cat says deliberately, as though Kara has lost all control of her faculties. “Make sure you wear something a little more daring this time. Pink is not an option. Consider that your first tip.”

“Of course,” Kara mutters, sensing her chance to escape this awkward conversation at last. “If that’s what you want.” She’ll just have to find out which godawful dating coach or lifestyle guru Cat is inflicting on her by showing up tomorrow.

Read the rest on AO3.