fossil-fools

Just in time for #toonsday! It’s a blast from the far-flung past, and a 4-and-a-half for one update special. All the way from La Brea, CA….

The Fossil Fools!

The boys (Arnie, Ronnie, and Stevie) were gas jockeys/auto-mechanics. They would get into various (mis)adventures as a result of their bumbling. Vickie would often distract them during work or in need of a rescue from the boys’ egregious auto service. Rocky was Ronnie’s pet rock. He’s surprisingly mobile!

They had a short, but mildly-successful run back in the 20s! Wonder where they are now…?

The Romans reacted to their emerging economic hardships in a similar way to the Maya: they beefed up their efforts to protect the empire and maintain control over its resources. But once their principal commodity was too expensive to recover, they could not last for long. They consumed more and more resources in a vain effort to maintain their lifestyles until they were left stranded in a huge, complex, expensive wood-dependent society. The environment around them was stripped of trees and agriculture was failing. The Roman experiment grew more and more massive even as resources that had once existed in colossal quantities was declining.
— 

Steve Hallett and John Wright, Life Without Oil: Why We Must Shift to a New Energy Future

If this doesn’t give you goosebumps and a sense of doom than you aren’t thinking enough about modern life; parallel stories are being written about the way we live right now. Man, the tyranny of old ideas.

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FOSSIL FOOLS
Boys Noize + Edwin Birdsong
Dino Riders + Bruce Lee

An old video jam I made back in the day. 

This just in! (Dinosaurs)

All the feathered dinosaur discoveries are a hoax!

That’s right! Some dude with absolutely too much time on their hands planted an unkown amount of feathered fossils and crafted fossils with microscopically convincing detail and then burried them in regions of Mongolia and China!

They then flew all the way to Siberia to plant ‘Kulindadromeus’ fossils so people would believe feathers were a basal trait!

THEN they flew to Canada to plant an ornithomimid with feathers there! OMG!

This nefarious criminal must belong to the notorious lineage of Carmen Sandiego, such ability to craft fossils good enough to fool experts of the field, bury them while making the terrain look like nothing happened, and then repeat the process dozens of times all around the world!

With eye-witness reports, investigators were able to sketch the likeness of this man:

But rest assured, we are correcting science class textbooks as you are reading this! Making sure every child henceforth knows Dinosaurs were enormous, lumbering reptiles that had to live in swamps to keep their ugly bodies afloat. It is also likely they could breathe atomic energy and have a fixation with destroying human settlements around Asia’s pacific coast.

Your Fave Is Problematic: God
  • Created the most unlikeable universe possible
  • Keeps hiding fossils to fool scientists, what a jerk
  • Didn’t hug Lucifer enough and is so surprised that there’s estrangement
  • What the heck is up with the platypus, that’s animal cruelty
  • Made humans breathe from our eating hole
  • “Don’t murder” *blows up entire cities with fire and flood*
  • Entropy
  • Hell is extremely energy inefficient