forver in my heart

HE TOLD ME HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME AND MY HEAD INSTANTLY THOUGHT OF THE LAST TIME SOMEONE TOLD ME THEY WERE IN LOVE ME’ HE LEFT ME AND KEPT COMING BACK AND I AM SO FUCKING SCARED OF LOVE, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS ANYMORE, IS IT TEMPORARY? BECAUSE I SWORE I’D NEVER STOP LOVING HIM, BUT I COULD PASS HIM ON THE STREET RIGHT NOW AND SMILE AND FEEL ABSOLUTELY NOTHING; I THINK LOVE FUCKING DESTROYS PEOPLE AND I CAN’T ALLOW MYSELF TO LOVE SOMEONE AGAIN. THE SAME THINGS ARE HAPPENING. HE LOOKS AT ME WITH THAT FUCKING “I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU” LOOK AND I WILL WRITE ABOUT IT NON STOP AND THEN HE’LL HOLD ME ONE NIGHT WHILE I’M CRYING AND TELLING HIM HOW MUCH I CAN’T STAND MY OWN BODY AND HE’LL PROMISE ME HE’LL NEVER LEAVE AND BEG ME TO STAY HIS FORVER AND THREE MONTHS LATER HE’LL EXPLODE AND FUCKING RIP MY HEART OUT AND I’LL WRITE ABOUT HOW I’LL NEVER GET OVER HIM FOR MONTHS. I THINK I’M JUST SO FUCKING SCARED. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE. I AM SO SORRY I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYMORE.