forty sixty

can we please stop making the only LGBT+ narrative we see “i always knew?”

like, i didn’t always know i liked girls too. i wasn’t having crushes on them or kissing them on the playground when i was five years old like you see on tv or read in books. i didn’t know for sure that i’m bi until literally this year (i’m 17 as of writing this). a former friend of mine is a trans girl. she didn’t always know. she didn’t realize she was trans until she was nearly eighteen years old. some people don’t realize it until they’re twenty, or forty, or sixty.

some people do always know. good for them! but can we please please please make it known that you don’t have to have always known for your identity to be valid? it makes it so difficult for people who are figuring themselves out later in life, because it feeds into this idea of “why didn’t i know it before? is this even real? if i haven’t known i’ve felt this way all along, how do i know i feel it now?” and that’s only making worse what’s already such a difficult time in life

give me eighty year old women who are just figuring out they’re lesbians. give me middle aged accountants who realize they’re actually trans. give me a guy who doesn’t know until he’s twenty-eight that he’s actually into dudes. god just please give us some other narrative, so we can be reassured that even if it took us a while to get there, our identity is no less valid than that of a person who’s known they’re LGBT+ since elementary school. stop telling LGBT+ people that that’s the only way they’re really LGBT+

can u believe we’re gonna get 4 albums??? like just an entire album of just niall, an entire album of just harry, an entire album of just louis, an entire album of just liam??? anywhere from ten to maybe like fourteen or seventeen songs of just their individual voices with songs that they wrote!??? like that’s like fOUR HOURS worth of music!!!!!!! where we get to appreciate each individual’s sound and their own voice!!!!! like!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we’re gonna get anywhere from FORTY TO SIXTY EIGHT new songs that’s so mANY hoLY SHIT

You know it’s never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It’s always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.
—  Jodi Picoult, Mercy
Boys vs. Men

Tumblr has a preoccupation with calling basically every male entity a “boy,” and I regularly see lots of younger trans kids who are self-described “trans boys” or “cute gay boys” or whatever have you. That’s all fine, but I just want to make it really clear:

Starting testosterone won’t make you into a pretty anime boy. It’ll make you into a hairy, sweaty, acne-covered man. You will smell like a man, your voice will drop like a man’s, and the people around you will perceive you as man, not a boy.

If you don’t actually have interest in becoming a man, then you might ask yourself about your motivations to transition. I encourage all of you to think beyond your twenties or thirties, and think about how you will feel about being a man in his forties, fifties, sixties…

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be an attractive young man, but transition is a decision that can affect you for the rest of your life.

Heart Spice (Derek/Stiles)

@sterekseason requested Stiles/Derek:  we were both lovers over a decade ago and now we meet again to battle it out on this cooking program. our rivalry is strong and just because the camera operator caught us making out in the pantry doesn’t mean i won’t defeat you with the power of truffle oil AU

For winning first prize in my Birthday Giveaway, Hannah gets two fics. This is the first one based on the prompt above. I hope you enjoy it! Fic #34 in my 2017 Prompt Challenge

Heart Spice. Derek/Stiles. Teen. Also on AO3.

When Stiles was twenty-two, he had his heart broken when Derek chose his career over their relationship. A little over ten years later, they meet again on the set of a reality TV cooking competition. Derek wants a second chance, but Stiles isn’t really in a forgiving mood.

“Glad you could make it, Stiles.” Cora nods at him, offering a friendly half-smile that’s the equivalent of a wide, toothy grin from anyone else. It’s a little surprising, and also a little suspicious because Cora usually isn’t smiley.

“I almost didn’t come,” Stiles admits. “Lydia forced me into the car and drove me here before I could, how did she put it, wimp out like a whiny dork.” Stiles rolls his eyes. “For the record, I wasn’t wimping out. I was just having second thoughts because of reasons.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

would a war axe actually be an effective weapon at all, or has it just been made flashy for appeal? how strong would you need to be to be able to use one if so?

I’m not certain which axe you’re thinking of, but axes have been used extensively in warfare, including specialized designs intended specifically for combat. These range from simple hatchets that function in roughly the same capacity as a dagger up through the Danish axe. It’s also worth remembering there are entire families of polearms that are, basically, very long axes.

I’ve mentioned axes a couple times when discussing historical sidearms. They were, frequently, used as backup weapons in medieval infantry. In part, because battleaxes were, generally, cheaper to produce than swords, and (in theory) easier to train on, so it was easier to arm infantry with battleaxes than swords.

Most combat tactics with the axe involve generating inertia, and then once the weapon is up to speed you connect. The examples I’ve seen were figure eight patterns, though I assume there are others.

Multiple cultures also developed axe variants for use as thrown weapons. We’re usually pretty critical of throwing knives as a combat skill, but historically, some warriors did carry extra axes to throw at foes.

As for strength, the axe is like nearly every other melee weapon. It’s useful, but anyone of roughly average strength should be able to use these things. Historical battleaxes weighed somewhere between one to six pounds, so we’re not talking about some massive Berserk style chunk of steel. And, yes, this includes two handed designs. Compared to swords, axes were lighter, (probably because there was less metal involved.) As with any weapon, training and experience is far more important than strength. Put another way, a battleaxe weighs less than your average housecat. Remember, axes were light enough to bring extras for sharing with the crowd.

I’ll harp on this a bit for a second, but it is worth remembering that most weapons are pretty light. There are outliers, but if you’re bringing a weapon to a battle, then you can expect to be swinging it all day. A heavy weapon would wear you out, and leave you vulnerable.

The weight is important for an axe, but the distribution is what matters. The weight behind the blade will do the work for you, when striking, you just need to get that weight moving, and then direct it into the target. To make this work, you don’t need a lot of weight, and the more you add, the harder it becomes to get the weapon moving and control it, so you’re looking for a sweet spot of mass and control. Historically that appears to have been somewhere around two or three pounds.

Ironically, if you’re looking for a weapon that actually required a lot of strength to use, that’s the longbow. Drawing one could require the archer to pull anywhere from forty to sixty pounds, (or more in some rare cases.) Or, in other words, your mental image of how medieval combatants looked is on its head, the front line infantry were (in some cases) scrawny little guys, and the archers were stacked.

-Starke

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In America They Call Us Dykes: Notes On The Etymology And Usage Of "Dyke"

From Sinister Wisdom # 9 1979

By JR Roberts

The women-loving women
in America were called dykes
and some liked it
and some did not . ..
Judy Grahn, from “A History of Lesbianism”

In Sinister Wisdom 6, five Lesbians spoke intensely and articulately concerning the silences in our lives and how patriarchal language has been used
against us, how the fears of vulnerability and censure check our tongues,
rendering us powerless, isolated, and invisible . How the power to name is the
power to be. Lesbians have long been the object of vicious “name-calling”
designed to shut us up, make us shrivel and slink away. Dyke is one of the
words that has been negatively and violently flung at us for more than a
half century . In the Lesbian/Feminist 1970s, we broke the silence on this
tabooed word, reclaiming it for ourselves, assigning to it positive, political
values. The reclamation of dyke has also necessarily involved an historical/
etymological search for its origins. Our generation of Lesbians has been stymied, mystified, and intensely curious as to how and why we have come to
call ourselves dykes.

The term appears to have originated in the United States. Although dyke
is used in England, the terms lesbian, Sapphist, and butch have been traditional there (Partridge 1968). In the United States, dyke is a cross-cultural term found in both Anglo-American and African-American slang. In African-American slang, dyke, as it stands alone, does not seem to have been in widespread use as of 1970, but more commonly appeared in combination with bull to form bull-dyke, signifying an “aggressive female homosexual,” bull-dagger, boon-dagger, and bull-diker being variations. Bull was/is used in Black culture to indicate Lesbian (Major 1970; Berry ‘1972).(1)

The earliest known references using dyke or dike (an earlier? spelling no
longer in wide usage today) to describe “masculine” Lesbians, or Lesbians
generally, date to circa 1920s·1930s, indicating at least a half century of
usage.(2) Partridge indicates that dike denotes a “female homosexual” and that the term comes from the combination bull-dike (Partridge 1968), which
was used among Black people as early as circa 1920s-1930s (AC/DC Blues
1977). Godfrey Irwin, a compiler of tramp and underworld slang, likewise
supports this definition of bull-dike in a letter to Partridge dated September
18, 1937. During the thirties, bull-dike was also being used among prison
inmates at Sing Sing to indicate a woman who practiced oral sex on men
(Haragan 1935, as quoted by Partridge 1968). It is interesting that the homosexual bull-dike and the heterosexual bull-dike were both associated with
so-called “unnatural” and socially unapproved sexual behaviors . This is one
of many connections existing between homosexual slang, heterosexual slang,
and woman-hating slang.(3) By the 1940s we find dike or dyke listed in slang
dictionaries to indicate “masculine woman,” being synonymous with other
words signifying “Lesbian” (Berrey & Van Den Bark 1942 , 1947).

In the pre-Liberation forties, fifties , and sixties, “Lesbian slang” was often
role-related. Dyke/dike and butch were used to signify “masculine” Lesbians
who wore “men’s clothing” (Stanley , June 24 , 1977; Aldrich 1955 :54) .
“Feminine” Lesbians were femmes or fluffs (Vice Versa 1:6, November 1947).
Among Midwest Black Lesbians the words stud and fish were used respectively (Sawyer 1965). Special terms indicating varying degrees of “mannishness” were formed by adding prefixes, for example : bull-dyke, diesel dyke,
stompin ’ diesel dyke. As Lesbian linguist Julia Stanley indicates, dyke in our
own time, the Lesbian/Feminist seventies, has undergone a change in meaning from a once pejorative term to a politically charged definition. This has occurred within the liberation movements of Lesbians and gays. “To be a
dyke or a faggot,” writes Julia , “refers to one ’s political identity as a gay
activist . .. but redefining old terms that have been pejoratives for so long
is not an easy process, nor is it something that takes place overnight. Among
women, new definitions are being made among usages of old terms. As we
redefine the old pejorative labels making them our own, what we choose to
call ourselves also takes on political meaning, defining one’s political position”
(Stanley 1974:390-391).

The personal is political. The personal is also historical. On many levels
we Lesbians today have experienced historical/political transformations.
Sometimes it is possible to recall an exact time and place where transformations occurred. Although I don’t ever recall having used the word dyke in the old pejorative sense, I do remember when I first began using dyke in a liberated sense. It was late 1973; I had just “come out” via the Lesbian/
Feminist Movement. During a conversation with an older Lesbian friend who
had come out years earlier without the aid of a movement, I referred to the
two of us as dykes . Her reaction was equivalent to “Hey, wait a minute!
Watch yer mouth!”, as if I had uttered some terrible obscenity . She then
proceeded to enlighten me as to the older, negative meaning . But, I said, I
don’t see it that way at all. To me dyke is positive; it means a strong, independent Lesbian who can take care of herself. As I continued with the movement, dyke took on even stronger political implications than “activist.” It
signified woman-identified culture, identity, pride and strength - women, alone and together, who live consciously and deliberately autonomous lives ,
no longer seeking definitions or approvals according to male values. Soon
my older friend also began identifying positively with the word dyke.

Exercising this new power of self-definition, we now have a variety of
names and definitions with which to describe our many political selves. Our
Lesbian lifestyle is very diverse, and our use of language and choice of names
and definitions reflect our many cultural, racial, ethnic, class, regional, and
political backgrounds, as well as our generational perspectives. Today the
straight world continues to use dyke in the old pejorative sense. There are a
number of Lesbians who do also, and are repulsed by it. These Lesbians may
not have been exposed to the current movement, or, being concerned with
their status and survival in the straight world, they may reject the term as
harmful. There is also a segment of the Lesbian population which grew up ,
came out , and participated in the earlier Lesbian culture before 1970 who
retain the negative definition they have always known . So the definition of
dyke has changed only for some Lesbians, not for all.

There are some questions to be wondered about. If dyke has different
definitions today, is it possible that there were different definitions in earlier
times? Did all Lesbians before the 1970s generally define dyke negatively?
Was it such a distasteful term, or were there those Lesbians who felt a sense
of pride at being labeled dyke? What did it mean to them? Where did the
American tradition of the “mannish” Lesbian as dike/dyke come from?
The term dike or dyke had probably been around to some extent before
the 1930s-1940s when it first began to be documented in slang dictionaries.
Slang terms often originate among special groups, some of which are “outcasts” of mainstream society whose members feel alienated from the values of the dominant culture. Such groupings may be based on age, race, ethnic, or class background. Among such groups have been the younger generation, Blacks, hoboes, criminals, street people, artists and writers, gays and Lesbians.

The creation of new words and new definitions for old words serves a social
and political purpose: it may constitute an act of power and rebellion for
those who feel and are powerless; or it may provide a sense of validation
and identity denied by the dominant culture, thus becoming a source of
social/cultural cohesion and pride - a language of one’s own. A new language
helps to articulate a new society. Some slang terms may even be adopted
by the dominant culture, eventually becoming “Standard English,” or they
may fall into disuse or remain the linguistic property of the special group.
Slang terms may be collected and listed in published lexicons, dictionaries ,
and thesauri. Definitions may change with time. These are slow, complicated
evolutions influenced by social, economic, political, and intellectual ideas
and events in the dominant culture and among those outcast groups.

Currently, there are several theories concerning the etymology of dyke or
dike, which are threaded together by the androgynous concept of the “manly-
woman.” Several have to do with ancient Greek legends. Poet Elsa Gidlow
raises the possibility that the word dyke may have had its origins in the
Greek word dike, that is Athene , the “manly-woman ” who is the principle
of total order (Stanley , June 24, 1977). There is also the related Flexner and
Wentworth (1975) hypothesis that dike probably came from hermaphrodite,the -dite being “clipped” off and later evolving into dike, due to a regional
(Coney Island??) mispronunciation. Cordova adds support to this hypothesis
when she reports conversations with older Lesbians who indicate the folk belief that the root word of dyke was once hermaphrodite, with its origins in
the Greek myth of Hermes and Aphrodite who join to create the androgynous
creature (Cordova 1974:22). Of the -dite to dike theory, Julia Stanley comments: “For reasons of my own, I’ve never bought the -dite to dike explanation, primarily because /t/ hardly ever becomes /k/ in natural languages. I’m not saying it’s impossible, especially in an unstressed syllable, where an alveolar might be heard as a velar, just that it’s unlikely” (Stanley, June 24, 1977).

My own recent research has turned up an interesting, but never before
cited, usage of dike dating from late nineteenth and early twentieth century
America, representing another possible, and perhaps more viable, origin, based in the social customs of the people rather than in classical allusion. Both
Schele de Vere (1871) and Clapin (1902) in their compilations of Americanisms indicate dike as denoting a man in full dress, or merely the set of male
clothing itself. Schele de Vere says this is a “peculiar American cant term,
as yet unexplained.” Clapin, however, indicates that dike likely resulted from
the corruption of the Old English dight (Anglo-Saxon origin). Dight meant
to dress, clothe; to adorn, deck oneself (Johnson, 2nd ed., 1827). In listing
dike, Mathews (1951) indicates a possible connection between dight and the
English dialect dick, both of which meant “to deck or adorn.” By 1856
dight was cited by Hall as being nearly obsolete in the United States, while
diked and diked out were in use. The word dike probably came to America
with the English at the time of colonization, but once in America other
usages may have developed . Both Clapin and Schele de Vere indicate that
dike was not only used as a verb, but also as a noun to describe a person of
either sex who was all dressed up. However, dike as a person or as a set of
clothing most often referred to the male sex.

There is growing evidence that during this same time period a number of
women in both the United States and Europe were adopting male attire, both
permanently and on occasion. Katz has called some of these women “Passing
Women” (Katz 1976: Ch. 3). These women dressed, lived, voted, worked -
literally “passed”-as men in the mainstream culture. Some were of the middle
and upper classes, or were artists. Others were independent, working class
women who took on the guise of men in order to survive in a world where
women had few options. As “men,” these women, some of whom were Lesbians, married other women and raised families. They could live and enjoy
their lives with women and still participate in the greater opportunities and privileges awarded to men. This choice was often based in explicit or covert
feminism. When discovered, however, these women were often punished by
society- arrested, fined, imprisoned, exposed, and forbidden to wear male
clothing. Sometimes the contemporary media picked up on the appearances
of these “she-men,” and a number of rather sensational articles appeared.
accompanied by photographs and drawings. Some of these graphics which
are reproduced in Katz indicate women dressed in a “full set of male clothing” - from hat to suit, to cane or umbrella, watch fobs and chains, to vests
and shoes. Lesbians and other radical women - such as the feminist Mary C. Walker, Harriet Hosmer, and Edmonia Lewis, the Black/Native American sculptor-were also dressing in much the same manner in the United States and Europe, not especially for the purpose of “passing” as men, but for the real and implied emotional, political, and social freedoms inherent in the male costume.
This radical expression of emancipation (which has centuries of tradition behind it) continued well into the twentieth century and included both women of color and white women.

It seems possible that in the American culture where the term dike denoted “the full set of male clothing” or “a man in full dress,” this term could also have been applied to women who dressed in such clothing. Possibly these early radical women, dressing and passing in male clothing, both permanently and on occasion, were in fact our first dike sisters in America.

Again, Julia Stanley, who feels that the above etymology for dyke is the
most viable she has heard, comments: “Your proposed etymology doesn’t
exclude the possibility that Wentworth and Flexner were correct in their
hypothesis. That is, you may have come up with the 'missing link’ in the
semantic development of the word dyke, since it is stretching it a bit to re-
late it to the Germanic ditch” (Stanley, June 24,1977).

If my hypothesis is correct, it could further be proposed that the meaning
of dike was changing during the time period from the late nineteenth century
to circa 1930s-1940s, that dike had begun passing from a predominantly
positive male and/or neutral meaning to a derogatory female slang term.
Linguistically, it may have gone through a process called “degeneration of
meaning.” By the 1930s dike, preceded by the equally tabooed bull, had
been assigned sexual and derogatory meanings which could be applied both
to Lesbians and to heterosexual women practicing tabooed sexual behaviors.
By the 1940s-1950s-1960s the pejorative term dike/dyke was almost exclusively applied to “masculine” Lesbians, with other meanings becoming more obscure, though not yet obsolete. Linguists have found that this “process of degeneration” is a pattern often occurring to words which make such a male
to female transition.

For this same period of possible linguistic change, there is growing evidence
indicating a general altering of attitudes toward women’s relationships with each other.(4) Increasingly more negative aspects were being assigned to such relationships in the twentieth century than had been assigned them in the
nineteenth century. Medical and psychiatric science was labeling such relationships “unnatural,” “degenerate,” and “sick.” All manner of “masculine”
characteristics of both a biological and psychological nature were attached
to Lesbian women, as well as to other women who “deviated” from traditional , “god-given,” (male-defined) “ female roles.” Speculating once again -
since words and their meanings are used to reinforce the values of a given
society, it may be that the linguistic change described above was related to
the social/political change concerning definitions of Lesbianism and female
sex roles. If a concept is assigned negative values, then the language used to
describe that concept will also assume negative meaning. The language becomes a vehicle by which the value is perpetuated. Thus dike, once used to
describe a well-dressed male, becomes a vulgar and hateful epithet to be
hurled at women who rebel against confining roles and dress styles.

It is interesting to note how our “new” radical definitions echo the “old” radical traditions as signified by the term dike/dyke. Betty Birdfish, a friend
in Chicago , wrote to me about a Lesbian dance to be held there, and how
"wimmin are talking about 'dyking themselves up’ for it.” In my next letter,
I asked Betty exactly what that meant-“dyking ourselves up.” She responded :

About 'dyking ourselves up’: I think it can mean a whole lot of things.
In general, dressing up so one feels most beautiful, most proud of herself. I’ve seen that take many forms in the dyke community, at events.
For example, Allison with her hair in corn rows and beads, wearing African garb. Or Jogie with a tuxedo and panama hat. Or Beverly looking like
a gypsy with loose-flowing clothes, jewelry, scarves and wearing scented
oil. Or wimmin with tailored blazers and slacks and vests. Or even wimmin
with long-flowing ankle length skirts or dresses. Many interpretations.
Many expressions. For me 'dyking myself up’ has been getting more definite in its expression lately . For the dance I wore a pair of high-waisted
black slacks, a white shirt with tie and pin, and a black satin, double-breasted, padded-shouldered, very tailored, old jacket. I felt very strong
and beautiful in it. Before the dance, I had 'practiced’ dyking myself up
in a more radical way: I put on a different long sleeve shirt with collar
and a silk tie that has wimmin together painted on it. I put my hair up in
a bun, very close to my head so that it looked short, and put on a 'mannish’ (I wish I had another word) straw hat. I looked like old-timey photos
of Lesbians who you know had longer hair, who put it up, dyked up in
suits, waistcoats, or tuxedos . I liked the way I looked, but wasn’t ready
to go 'out’ yet in full dyke array. So I modified it for the dance . For me,
'dyking up’ means the tailored suit: elegant, comfortable and strong. I
guess I don’t see this wear as just a 'masculine ’ privilege - but clothing that
wimmin/dykes can wear to feel good in. I think I’m no longer as afraid
of feeling 'butchy’: to work on my body , to develop muscles and strength,
to be more active physically (sports , karate, etc.), to move with more
force, strength, confidence. I’m realizing how stifled I’ve been by society
which condemns this development in wimmin . And I realize how our own dyke community continues to condemn it by labelling it 'butchy’ and
therefore 'male-identified’ and therefore wrong. I don’t care anymore
(in my head-but not yet in my gut) about all those condemnations-I want to grow in ways I know I’ve always wanted to.
(Betty Birdfish, August 4, 1977)

For the Lesbian of yesteryear, getting “diked up” may have had the same
exhilarating, liberating, and fearful effects it has for contemporary Lesbians,
but even more so since few women at that time wore pants. To wear “male
clothing” before the advent of trousers for women and the so-called “unisex”
fashions of today, was indeed radical and revolutionary. It signified a rebellion against male-defined roles for women, which “women’s clothing” symbolized and perpetuated by rendering women passive, dependent, confined, and vulnerable. Yet this autonomous act of rebellion also made women vulnerable to punishment, ridicule, and ostracism.(5)

Dike/dyke need not remain a vulgar epithet of self-hate, shame, and
negativism, a term signifying “masculine.” This is the definition which a
heterosexist, dyke-hating society has formulated and which many Lesbians
past and present have unquestioningly accepted. By defining some of us as
“men” and some of us as “women,” society has sought to divide us, to create
inequality based on heterosexual roles, thereby defusing the political power
of women loving women, reducing it to a pseudo-heterosexuality which,
according to their thinking, is both artificial and inferior to the “real thing.”
Dike/dyke still remains a word hidden in history. But this new etymology
suggests the possibility of some quite radical origins. Rather than wincing
at the word dyke, we might better remember and commemorate those early
Lesbians and feminists who refused “women’s clothing” and “women’s roles.”
They may have been our first dyke sisters.


Notes

(1)Bull was a tabooed word circa early twentieth century, not to be used in mixed company, signifying “the male of the species,” Less offensive terms like “top cow” were often substituted. Bull bitch was a rural term applied to “masculine” women (Wentworth 1944; Wentworth and Flexner 1975).

(2) Earlier, at the turn of the century, dyke was one of many slang terms denoting the vulva (Farmer and Henley 1890-1904 : 338).

(3)See “Sexist Slang and the Gay Community: Are You One, Too?” by Julia Stanley and Susan W. Robbin s. Available from 1. Stanley , Department of English, University of Nebraska-Lincoln, Lincoln , Nebraska 68588.

(4) See Carroll Smith Rosenberg , “Th e Female World of Love and Ritual : Relations between Women in Nineteenth Century America,” Signs I : I (Autumn 1975) : 1-19 ; AIice Echols, “The Demise of Female Intimacy in the Nineteenth Century or There wasn’t a Dyke in the Land,’” unpublished paper, n .d .. 34 pp.

(5) It should be noted that these vulnerabilities were not experienced by women only in nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. As late as 1968, Lesbians were being arrested in Dallas and Houston, Texas for wearing “men’s clothing.” See: “Special Release to the Ladder.” The Ladder 13: ½ (October/November 1968):4041; “Who Can Tell Boys from Girls.” The Ladder 13: ½ (October/November 1968) :41-42

SOURCES
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Berry, Leonard J.Prison. N.p.: Subsistence Press, 1972.

Betty Birdfish (Alwin). Letter to JR Roberts. Chicago, Illinois (August 4,1977). Collection of JR Roberts.

Clapin, Sylva. A New Dictionary of Americanisms. New York: Louis Weiss, 1902.

Cordova, Jeanne. “What’s in a Name?” Lesbian Tide (June 1974):21-22 .

Farmer, 1.S. and Henley , W.E. Slang and Its Analogues (J890-1904) . Reprinted ed. , New York: Arno Press, 1970.

Hall, Benjamin H. A Collection of College Words and Customs. 2nd ed. Cambridge: John Bartlett, 1856 (1851). Reprinted ed ., Detroit: Gale Research, 1968.

Hargan, James. “The Psychology of Prison Language.” Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 30 (1935):359-365. (Note: the “more unprintable expressions” such as bull-dike were omitted from the published list, but were available upon request to those who were “especially interested in the subject.”)

Johnson , Samuel. A Dictionary of the English Language. 3 vols. 2nd ed. London: Longman , Rees, Orne, Brown, and Green et al., 1827.

Katz, Jonathan. Gay American History: Lesbians and Gay Men in the U.S.A . New York:Thomas Y. Crowell, 1976. Pb., Avon, 1978.

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Partridge, Eric. A Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English. 7th ed. 1967; Supplement 1970. New York: MacMillan, 1970.

Partridge, Eric. A Dictionary of the Underworld. 3rd ed. London : Routledge and Kegan Paul Ltd., 1968.

Schele de Vere, Maximillian. Americanisms: The English of the New World. New York: Charles Scribner and Co., 1872.

Stanley, Julia P. Letter to JR Roberts. Lincoln, Nebraska (June 24, 1977). Collection of JR Roberts.

Stanley, Julia P. “When We Say 'Out of the Closets!’” College English (November 1974): 385-39l.

Sawyer, Ethel. “Study of a Public Lesbian Community.” Masters Thesis, Washington University. St. Louis, Missouri. 1965 .

Vice Versa 1:6 (November 1947) . (Includes discussion of role-related slang; examined by Elizabeth Bouvier at the Homosexual Information Center Library, Hollywood, Calif.)

Wentworth, Harold. American Dialect Dictionary. New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1944.

Wentworth, Harold and Flexner, Stuart B. Dictionary of American Slang. New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1975.

Sh-Boom
The Chords
"Sh-Boom" - The Chords (1954)

First recorded by The Chords on March 15th, 1954, the song
became their only hit song. It is sometimes considered to be
the first doo-wop or rock'n'roll record to reach the top ten on
the pop charts (as opposed to the R&B charts).
Trans boy Yurio is just really fucking important to me??

I mean. Fuck. Fuck. buckle up kids cause I’m going on a tangent here cause oh, my god am I gonna cling to this headcanon till you rip it from my cold dead trans fingers. Like. I just. UGH.

I’m 26 fucking years old and I feel like I arrived WAY LATE to the transgender game gdi. Sure sure we hear stories of folks in their forties, fifties, sixties coming out or transitioning, but y’all KNOW the narrative that gets told, the one that gets attention is the “i knew since I was born” story. The older folks transitioning is often framed around this, around knowing ones whole life but never doing anything about it, and sure, you get those nice positive posts on here about not knowing till your older and having no signs till your older, but that’s not the stories that get Huff post articles and trans documentaries. It doesn’t fit the marketable ideal. Also, for trans boys, there’s no running away from the narrative of the tomboy. You had to be into sports, you had to want short hair, never wear girls clothes, hunt, wrestle, be tough. There’s usually no room for femininity in the childhoods of trans boys and that is hurtful both for the community and on a personal level cause God I was never a tomboy. Yeah I chopped my hair off super short when I was 6, but it was 1996 and half the girls in my class had bowl cuts or mushroom cuts or pixie cuts; there was no masculine drive to it. I lived on a farm and loved playing outside, but I wanted to do it in dresses an wearing nail polish. It wasn’t till I was 11 (july 28 2001 to be exact, according to Wikipedias info on when Yue first aired in an American Cardcaptors dub episode) that Anything happened in my brain to look back on years later and go oh, that was A Trans Thing.

I don’t know if it’s because I was so late in the game, so femme, if my first inclines were correct and i’m not binary trans or what it is, but 4 years since i had my first thoughts of “could /I/ be trans?” and I still find it hard to actually call myself that. I still feel fake, I still feel like even if I’m trans i’m not the kind that COUNTS, I’m not what a trans person SHOULD be. Keep in mind I’m going on 2 months on hormones now, I’ve been binding for almost 2 years, I pack, I desire a more masculine body, but I still feel like ‘i don’t count’ and don’t even talk to me about writing/drawing/seeing prexisting characters as trans. All those blogs for headcanon trans characters and trans boys I’ve always been like, how? How can you do that? How could i look at a character and go ‘he’s like me’ without feeling like a selfish asshole stealing my friends favorite characters and forcing them into a mold just so they can be like me? I’m undesirable, i’m not pretty, it seems like such stupid 2005 era self-inset Mary Sues on Fanfiction.net shit to say a character is trans. Besides, to me, saying a character is like me has always been a number 1 way to feel like SHIT since those characters never end up being characters my friends like.

SO THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER BALLET-SPIN KICKS HIS WAY INTO MY LIFE. I’d already seen him on my dash and knew YUP, he’s gonna be my fav, but my GOD did I not understand how much. He just. He’s perfect and I adore the hell out of him, and after a couple eps I was like you know…He…kinda reminds me of me. I too am an angry little sonofabitch driven by spite and a need to destroy my competition, I also look at who beat me in a contest (im an artist) and find nothing but their flaws. I was raised by a grandparent in leiu of a mother. I just really clicked with this brat and so there was this tiny part of me that said hey, he doesn’t show his chest…he’s beautiful…everyone refers to him in feminne terms…so I thought ok maybe he’s trans. It could happen.

Then I log onto tumblr, and find a couple others with this idea…but then also a lot of people in the comments of posts being little assholes just trying to find flaws in the logic of people giving trans headcanons. Which is a douche move guys when someone wants to see a character as LGBT your job isn’t to prove them wrong fucking christ all that did was remind me oh yeah, that’s dumb and selfish>

But, then i drug my fiance into this, and my girlfriend, my fiance’s boyfriend, friend of mine in Scotland. So many people, several of whom agreed yeah, this could be a trans kid, and I thought again, ok maybe he could be. And then I got ballsy as fuck and thought, and maybe HE didn’t know from the fucking start. Maybe he was 9 or 10 or 11. Maybe that flashback where he looks 12, TOPS, was right after he started saying no, call me a boy, call me Yuri. Maybe he LIKES keeping his hair long and shaggy even if some of his rink mates or whoever still say ‘she doesn’t look like a boy’ for it. Maybe he has a drawer of cheetah print sports bras selected carefully for flatness factor and least amount of seams shown under his clothes. Maybe he doesn’t wanna be called a prima ballerina, but doesn’t mind the beauty and grace he’s learning through it. 

It’s always been hard for me to accept myself as a boy even though i /want/ to be one more than anything. i look at myself and say boys can’t have boobs and boys can’t have periods but here’s the thing; since I was 15, WAY before I knew what trans was or nonbinary or even intersex, I had OC’s who were third gender, who lived in a world with more than two reproductive sexes, who were feminine boys. THOSE were the characters I lived through, people who had vaginas and a uterus and wore dresses but were 100% seen as male by society, not a damn question asked. I never identified with or through women, but I was never hyper masculine either. THis is just the first time i’ve looked at someone ELSE’S character, a POPULAr character and said yeah, that boy has a vagina and wears bras and maybe i don’t gotta bind every day when it hurts. And it’s been a really great feeling, especially, to see that other folks think the same way. 

Bleeding Hearts

Summary: Emma Swan has spent a decade killing the soulmates of those willing to pay for immortality, but being suddenly given a partner makes her question whether her life is now the one on the line – either at the hands of her uncompromising boss, or at the hands of a stranger magic altogether.

also on ff.net and ao3

Big thanks to @nowforruin for stepping up to the plate on a rather last minute beta job (my fault) and for the excellent suggestions that got this where it needed to be.

I think I’d need another 18k to adequately describe how grateful I am to have @nightships in my life, but in the absence of that, let me just say that it has been an utter treat to get to write something for such a wonderful friend, talented writer, and birthday twin. Thank you for inspiring me on the daily to be a better writer and overall human being, and for giving me a reason to write about romance and murder. Happy Birthmas 2.0, fandom soulmate. I promise not to kill you.


The worst part was that they always looked happy.

Even through the scope of her gun, and even alone without their soulmates beside them, her targets all had that same sense of peace and belonging that practically made their skin glow from the inside out. If she caught herself at the right moment she could use that, sink deep into the part of herself that didn’t believe in love or happy endings, and breathe in bitterness until what she had to do became bearable.

Either that, or she reminded herself of everything that was at stake – and of how far the man she worked for was willing to go to keep her locked in this bargain of theirs – and did it.

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276

276! = 2 788 080 104 957 639 191 680 903 001 314 480 365 358 208 808 594 579 728 293 284 812 921 096 767 321 237 014 975 648 559 809 402 832 080 216 720 845 635 210 496 880 141 845 495 936 417 355 321 351 495 199 230 301 718 310 340 364 607 456 251 452 629 551 945 091 569 444 362 117 400 247 244 754 510 080 815 710 039 408 642 004 413 313 259 312 731 475 441 990 221 075 975 772 090 870 168 192 957 569 821 358 384 057 572 518 460 332 424 123 112 546 009 218 539 458 350 498 795 914 485 125 737 116 013 596 593 452 093 236 702 874 134 234 197 830 946 061 763 324 118 761 731 635 414 950 062 979 415 154 163 942 499 193 567 649 728 095 700 240 303 338 291 200 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000
Name: Two quattuoroctogintacentillion, seven hundred eighty-eight treoctogintacentillion, eighty duooctogintacentillion, one hundred four unoctogintacentillion, nine hundred fifty-seven octogintacentillion, six hundred thirty-nine novenseptu

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anonymous asked:

I'm a woman in my mid-twenties, and I've only really started questioning my sexuality in the last six months. I was raised in a house with a lot of talk about "the gay agenda", and the past 5 years has been a process of rejecting all the regressive stuff I was taught as a teen. I kind of worry that perhaps identifying as bisexual is just me overcompensating for being a bigot in the past? On the other hand, I have pretty clear physiological reactions to femslash fanfic, etc, so...

It’s okay if you didn’t start questioning your orientation until your twenties (or thirties… or forties, fifties, sixties). It shouldn’t make you more suspicious of yourself and you don’t need a reason that you assumed you were straight for x number of years. 

I was also raised on horror stories of The Gay Agenda and The Gay Lifestyle. It’s okay if you were raised with bigoted views and had to go through a painful process of deconstructing that worldview. I’ve been there and you shouldn’t feel guilty for believing that stuff as a child and teenager. We naturally trust our parents and accept what they teach us when we are growing up. 

I don’t think you are overcompensating. It’s hard to imagine someone tricking themselves into believing they are bisexual when we live in a culture where there is overwhelming pressure to believe you are straight. Very few straight people even question their orientation. I’ve never heard of a real-life straight person honestly tricking themselves into thinking they are not straight. What’s very common, however, is bi people internalizing messages that we aren’t real, can’t exist, and must be lying to others and ourselves. Bi self-doubt is very real and very common. And it sounds like you know what you’re attracted to. Trust yourself!

420

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You know what would have fucked with Scrooge more?
Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future that adopted his image…

But like, set in 2015.

He’s just this asshole CEO who was handed a fucktonne of money by his dead daddy or something, straight out of college.
He’s a Republican, never had to work a day in his life, and obviously believes that if you’re poor then it’s your own fault/you need to work harder!

He needs to relax in a jacuzzi more than his employees need a raise, or health insurance. That’s how the whole employer-employee thing works, right?
If they’re good enough, they’ll get promoted up the ladder… y'know, as long as they’re rich white dudes; he can’t even comprehend the idea of any'thing’ else making it that far.
-

Christmas rolls around, and maybe the company profits are up… but not the same as last year.
Completely ignoring the whole nationwide economical crisis; he realises that clearly the employees are slacking off, so in retribution, he has holidays and holiday pay removed. IF they can surpass the target set by last year’s sales, then he’ll consider it (he says in a company-wide statement); but he won’t, even if they manage it.

Sales double, because employees are desperate and the customers are trying to help out even if they hate feeding the greedy bastard on top of the tree. The target is reached, surpassed… employees begin to relax, they get christmas.
No need to try and find additional childcare, re-route family members… they get christmas.
No. No they don’t.  He does not reinstate holidays, there is silence from his office… he’s taken some of the surplus and gone on a trip to Hawaii for a few weeks.

Returning in time for Christmas.
To find employees striking… but many more still slaving at their jobs, because they need the income.
He has found an effective business strategy… he will use it again the next year.

Yeah, the ghosts aren’t having it.

“Listen up, fucknut…” reads the note that appears on the desk he has his feet resting on; shoes caked in mud (because he pays the maid s to clean, might as well make them earn it, right?). “Tonight, Xmas Eve, you are going to be visited by three spectres who really wanna kick your ass… but have to teach you right from wrong. So play along and you just might learn a thing.”

He scoffs and tosses it, it misses the bin. He pretends it did. He hates to lose.

-

So, the Ghost of Christmas Past turns up and it’s like, 2009-2011 him… the frat dude in fluro shorts who thought chugging several cups of beer in under 30 seconds was ‘fuckin 'A, dude!’

To make matters worse, the Ghost of Christmas Past still acts like mega-douchebag frat-bro him; and won’t stop using slang that makes him cringe. But still, even though he’s shown the error of his past ways (just by being exposed to this idiot); there’s no convincing him that having everything handed to him on a plate and taking it for granted (to become frat-bro), is in anyway a bad thing.

In exasperation, Past!Ghost flips him the bird as it fades out.
A lingering, “What the fuck is wrong with you, bro?” on the breeze.

-

Ghost of Christmas present appears, looks like him, current him.
He spends too much time checking out his own ass from behind to really hear the opening speech.

But basically, they go on a whirlwind tour of recent events; of him lounging about being a pampered little fuck with terrible ideas, and of the workers, desperately striving to reverse his decision. Rewarding him with hard work he did not earn from them.
There is no loyalty, only a determination to survive.

He gets smacked for making inappropriate comments about many of the employees.
“They’d have more food if she went on a diet…”
“Hmmm, I’m guessing he got in on the Equal Employment program the government rolled out?”
“Remind me to fire that one later… if I do it now, before she gets to eight months, there’s no maternity leave payout required.”
“Now that one I’d love to wreck… always had a thing for Asians…”
“Hey, since when do I pay maids to take a break in between department floors?”
“I’d fuck that guy, but I’m pretty sure he’d steal something on the way out, you know how those people are…”
“Maybe if they used some self-restraint they wouldn’t HAVE so many kids to feed on their shitty salary?”
“Mmmm, those are some nice tits… I should promote her to my secretary. She can take notes, my coffee order, and this dick all at the same time… well, if she’s literate. You never know with her kind…”
“Wow, look at this dump… why would people even live here? You know, if they actually put more effort into their jobs… they might make enough to move.”
“Pffft, if they’re so damn poor, why do they have a fridge? A phone? How can they afford the bus?!”
“Remind me to fire him later, bad enough he’s probably here illegally… but those fake 'panic attacks’ are being done on my time, and my dime. Go back to Mexico if you wanna pull that shit…”

And so on.

Present!Ghost is starting to think the guy LIKES being hit.
Current!Scrooge is not absorbing anything; sure, sometimes when he reflects on some of the shit he says, it’s not good… but that thought rarely enters his head.

“Can you fucking hear yourself?!” the Present!Ghost eventually snaps, grabbing him by the suit’s lapels. “Look at these people… stop seeing them as pawns, or things you own, or as the stereotypes in your fucking head… look at them as PEOPLE.
People fighting to get by on the shitty wages your company allows, while you frivolously spend it on yourself…”

Like before, they follow employees… and this time, Scrooge is silent. He’s watching, observing… but shoves away any sentiment stirring. They’re still just money-makers, easily hired and fired at will… his financial pawns.

But still, maybe he could make a little concession… maybe bring back the in-store creche/daycares. Maybe it would give the employees a stronger reason to work extra hours…

As if Present!Ghost could read his thoughts, they shake their head sadly and fade out.
“It’s not all about you…”

-

Scrooge scoffs as Future!Ghost arrives… he looks to be around forty, maybe fifty if Scrooge aged well. The hair is thinning but hey, he can always pay for it to be fixed…

“Sooooo… what? We gonna go see my spooooooooooky grave, huh?” he laughs, wiggling his fingers.

The ghost shakes his head.

Instead, they take a tour much like with Present!Ghost.
The stores, full of different employees, none he recognised; maybe they had worked harder… gotten promoted?
All were just as stressed, the stores bigger than before and fewer staff meant no slacking; an interesting innovation.

His office, empty…
His island beach house… there  he was.
A teleconference with shareholders, boasting record sales boosts; getting praised.

He has only aged physically, otherwise, nothing has changed.

He wasn’t seeing a downside.

And then, they did go to a graveyard… several, actually.
Half-remembered faces, older, more haggard, some wearing the uniforms of his company… most stood quietly weeping over gravestones or sites, they slipped into a funeral once or twice.

He was about to ask the relevance… when the reality strikes.

The children. They were the children of his former employees, older, with families and lives of their own now… burying the parents he knew couldn’t be forty, maybe sixty at most…

He starts checking the gravestones, calculating ages; trying not to see epitaphs of their lives ('beloved mother’, 'much-missed father’, 'dear brother who went too soon’, etc.).

Something wasn’t adding up, they can’t have all died young, right? He turns to the Future!Ghost for an explanation.

“You worked them hard, took away holidays, increased demand and work hours… but never reinstated their health insurance. Most died broken, if only in spirit…” the Future!Ghost points to one headstone, “There lies an employees who killed himself due to the stress of the job, whose panic attacks went unseen and untreated because you would not help.
And there, the young woman whose assets you believed to be 'fuckable’… and over there, the young man you would have slept with if only he was not of a race you considered thuggish… he actually died protecting his younger co-workers during a store robbery. Which could have been prevented, if you hadn’t let the store security go, to cut costs.”

And while all this happened… he was sitting in a remote island beach house, lapping up false praise…
It stirred something. Was this…shame? Horror?
He felt like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas… his heart was hurting; he needed to call his private… doctor…

The private doctor he had on call at all times, while some of his most in-need employees were turned away from the Free Clinics, because there were just too many to see.

There was literal blood on his hands. He could feel it… rubbing his hands on his clothing, as if it would come off; but of course, there was nothing there.

Without a word, Future!Ghost grabbed his arm and forced Scrooge watch himself, from only an hour prior… as he travelled with Present!Ghost. Listened in horror to the way he singled out certain employees, said such slanderous things…

His throat burned, in remembrance of the poisonous comments… spewed rapid-fire, thoughtlessly… not knowing, not CARING that the people below him were working as best they could under difficult circumstances. That they would die, because he thought them nothing but freeloaders, with physical attributes he either loved or hated…

God… he was an asshole, wasn’t he?

“Yes, Scrooge… you were a major asshole, but I think you’ve learned something tonight.” added in Future!Ghost, pring he WAS listening to the man’s thoughts.

“So… no visiting my grave, then?” he asks, almost knowing the answer.

Future!Ghost looks at him, scrutinising. “It would not have meant anything to you, Scrooge. You only care for the here and now.
Seeing the deaths you caused, however, was the one chance I had to reach you… for you to redeem yourself.”

Scrooge brushes sweaty strings of hair from his face, lost.
“So… what do I do now?!” he whines, confused. “I can’t fix this overnight…”

Future!Ghost considers it.
“How about… you start with re-instating their holidays and bonuses, and go from there? Just try to be less of an asshole in general… or you end up being me. The older you who is so set in his ways, who walks over the graves of employees without a second thought, if it means greater profit, greater praise.
You can change, so do it. Because if we have to come back, you will most assuredly not be treated so delicately.”

He blinks, and they are back in his office.
The computer is on, an e-mail to the entire company is ready to be sent…
.

URGENT MEMO: Holidays Reinstated

Hi all,

Sorry for the hold-up with the information, I was trapped in a foreign airport for over a week waiting for a volcano to stop spewing ash and couldn’t send this.

Christmas holidays have been re-instated, and you will have additional paid-vacation and sick days added to the coming year to make up for those extra ones you worked these holidays.
Good job on making the quota, we surpassed it by a wide margin; so everyone’s getting a bonus this year.

The next company meeting is in January, but the good news is that there will be a push to reinstate company-wide health insurance, security services, the in-store employee daycare and employee loyalty awards.

Happy Holidays,

CEO Scrooge

.

He was perspiring. That was a LOT to promise.

“You’re going to click Send,” Future!Ghost said, in a bland voice that meant neither threat nor praise. Just that he knew Scrooge would.

His hand finds the mouse… it shakes, but he manages to move it to the button. He clicked send, feeling ill for reasons other than illness or disgust, as the email disappeared.
It was a big order to fill… but he was going to do it.

Future!Ghost claps him on the shoulder.
“Good job. That’s Step Number One.”

He turns as Future!Ghost starts to fade out.
He wants to ask a lot of things, but nothing comes out.

Future!Ghost just smiles genuinely with his older face.
“Hey, just remember one thing, Don’t Be An Ass…ho…l…e…”

And suddenly Scrooge is alone again in his office.
He stands and goes to the door, hovering in the doorway like this was the most important step he would ever make in his life… and step through.

Leaving his office with an entirely different perspective than he entered it with.

-

The End