You may think that “My house; my rules” is an entirely fair position for your children to be in. After all, you bought the house, you pay the bills, you provide them with their food; it’s only reasonable if they abide by your rules in return.
However, please consider that this is not a trade. A trade can only happen when both parties choose to engage in it. Your child cannot freely choose to live with you because, if they ever leave, the police can hunt them down and return them. If they ever try to get a job to support themself - buy their own food, pay their own bills - the State can arrest the employer.
And the child never entered this arrangement freely in the very beginning. They appeared with the contract giving away their rights already signed. If you had a child by choice, you basically kidnapped a human being from the formless void and put them in your care. If you’re going to do that, you’d better hold yourself to some standards in caring for your inmate.
And, if you had a child by accident, then please have some compassion for your fellow cell-mate. They aren’t here any more willingly than you are.