my fav type of dirkjohn is dirkjohn filled with like… absolutely juvenile, petty, pigtail pulling on the playground levels of bullshit an nonsense

dirk breaks into johns house just to eat his leftovers and to give 5 star ratings to softcore gay porn on john’s netflix account and screw up his recommendation algorithm

john uses his windy powers to get into dirk’s house undetected, and every day for three weeks systematically moves his furniture one quarter of an inch to the left

dirk takes to re-arranging all of the clothes in john’s dresser so he can never find the shirt he’s looking for

john leaves water balloons in dirk’s mailbox which don’t actually accomplish anything but rolling onto the pavement and bouncing away gently and dirk has to go pick them up like a dumbass because its technically littering

dirk leaves a single slice of brooklyn style pizza tucked snugly underneath john’s windshield wiper like a leaflet 

neither of them can explain why they’re doing this or what it accomplishes when prompted, and everyone around them is disgusted at their weirdass 6th grade level black-red flirting

John Taylor being cute

John Taylor being sexy

John Taylor being stupid

John Taylor being serious

Stupid again

John Taylor being sexy as hell

John Taylor being rude and not giving a f

John Taylor being funny

John Taylor being awfully cute (first song he cried to)

John Taylor being handsome to die for

John Taylor running

John Taylor being bored


John Taylor being too cute to handle

John Taylor being cool

John Taylor laughing

John Taylor thinking that he’s cool


John Taylor loving Christmas

John Taylor seducing

John Taylor’s belly

I think we could end it with his belly.