Perfect Perfidy Pt.5
A ghost has risen from the dead ((pls don’t hate me) I cried a lil tbh) ENJOY, one more chapter to go!! also could someone hit me up about my chapter links on my other chaps because I’m not entirely sure if they’re working or if my laptop just hates me (laptop and mobile)
r e c a p bc you guys most likely forgot oops…
You let out an aggressive sigh and pushed him off of you so you were straddling him.
“Zen, I’m going back to Jumin”
He looked at you, not a flicker of emotion passed over his gorgeous sculpted face although his mouth had managed to move.
You looked down at Zen, his face looked innocent and …hurt. You shook your head, what were you thinking? Jumin had fucked another woman, physically tried to restrain you and even hit you, you couldn’t go back to him.
“Zen, I..I don’t know who I love anymore, I spent so much of my time with Jumin, so many memories that I don’t want to just become…memories, I can’t even begin to imagine how Jumin will deal with this, he owns a fucking company Zen and I can’t just jeopardise that, all of his employees? What about them? Jumin is emotionally unstable and a powerful one too”
You blinked the tears out of your eyes and didn’t dare peek at Zens face, you wanted to tell him everything you were feeling without his facial expressions making you second guess yourself.
“But you, I don’t know what you’re doing to me Zen, I feel so alive with you and I know that I don’t have to step carefully around you, I shouldn’t even be comparing you two”
You looked up at Zen finally and connected visions, blurred eyesight and blurred feelings yet despite them, you felt Zen’s sorrow, the sinking feeling of the torso and the turmoil of the mind.
“MC, I’ve loved you ever since you joined the RFA, but you chose him, it was wrong for me to wait for you, I should have moved on when you and Jumin were official, but I was selfish and decided to wait for my chance to snatch you away and because of my faults, I will let you choose, take your time because that is all you’ll need for a decision like this, I will always love you no matter what”
Your stomach clenched and you fell into Zens shoulder as you cried, Jumin was unstable and clearly unhealthy for you, but you didn’t want to change who your heart belonged too, you didn’t want to experience a change as drastic as this and you didn’t want to be the cause of anyone’s pain. Zen, who still lay on the couch stroked your back until you’re crying reduced to hiccuping, you did not deserve him and he must know it, yet he still wanted to stay by your side even though the amount of pain you’ve caused him is insurmountable.
Your small frame curled into Zen as you fell asleep, your dreams filled with silver hair and red string.
The next day you had woken up in white bed sheets, you remembered the events of yesterday and internally cringed, you were the biggest bitch. You turned your head to the left and found Zen staring at you, his gaze was intense, almost as if he was looking through you and invading your darkest thoughts, analysing every facial movement and thought that crossed your mind. His hand raised and stroked your cheek, moving down to your chin and then softly skimming your lips.
You continued to look at him, but he wasn’t looking through you anymore, he was scanning your face, trying to remember each and every feature that was yours.
“I don’t want you to leave me MC”
He looked at your eyes again, not at you, but at your eyes, treating them like they weren’t a part of you.
“You’re so beautiful MC, I promise to show you off the the world, I promise to work hard for you, I promise to always consider your feelings, I promise to-”
You put your finger on his lips and got up off the bed and reached for your phone, Zen remained silent and stared at your back, wondering what you were about to do.
Your finger hovered over the call button, you weren’t sure of your own feelings, but then again you had some sense of clarity. You pressed call and the phone rang.
“Jumin, can we speak, please? I want to talk to you about the future for our relationship? Ok, I’ll meet you there, Is 10am ok? Ok bye”
You put your phone down on the dresser and turned around to look at Zen’s face, he was clearly hurt, his downturned eyebrows and quivering lips, yet he didn’t say a word.
After a quick shower and change of clothes you walked out of Zen’s apartment, you couldn’t say goodbye because he was nowhere to be found and you couldn’t bring yourself to go and look for him. There was a car waiting for you outside and stepped in, on your way to meet Jumin at the local cafe, it was a quiet ride, but your mind was not quiet, you questioned whether to ask the driver to turn around although you knew you had to go through with this, so you didn’t.
The driver announced your arrival and you stepped out, immediately spotting Jumin and his sombre face, you walked up to him and his face had brightened.
“MC, I missed you”
“I missed you too Jumin” You sat down across from him, with his knees touching yours under the table. “I need to get this over and done with so, Jumin, will you please see a therapist? I know it may be a little confronting for you, and maybe even embarrassing, but you really do need it”
“Is that all you came to say?” Jumin asked, his head was downcast and his fringe flopped in front of his face.
“Actually no, I have one more thing to say, I want to end our relationship here” You saw his face fly up and his hand shoot out the grab your wrist, he yanked you up and pulled you around the corner and slammed you against the wall, no one could see the two of you from there.
“Tell me you don’t mean that MC, Please tell me you don’t mean that” His grip on your wrist tightened and his other hand gripped your waist, you winced.
“Jumin let me go”
“MC tell me that you don’t mean that, you’re mine, you can only look at me, I love you and you’re supposed to love me”
“Jumin let me go, you don’t love me, you’re just attached to me, maybe you did love me before, but now? You’re fucking obsessed. Now let me go Jumin”
You pushed and shoved with your free hand but he wouldn’t give up.
“MC don’t do this” He was crying now “I don’t want you to leave me, I’ve missed you so much, you’re the only person I think about, please MC I’m so sorry for everything I did, I swear I love you, you’re the only one”
“Jumin stop this! I’m not the right woman for you, you have to move on and forget about me, see a therapist and find someone who will give you more love than I already have, you’ve taken a toll on me too, you’re not the only one suffering, let me go”
His grip had weakened and he fell to the floor on his knees, you knelt down and looked at him.
“I will always be here as a friend Jumin, don’t let this convince you you’re alone in this world because you’re not, your father, Yoosung, Seven, V, Jaehee and Zen love you very much too and will always be there for you when you’re down, please understand that you can’t rely on one person, I don’t hate you Jumin and I never will, you were my first love but I have to do what’s best for me” You got up and walked away until a small voice was heard from behind you.
“Thank you MC, I’ll listen to you, but I refuse to move on, you are the one who I gave my heart too and I want you to keep it, please don’t return such a dear gift, maybe there is a slim chance I will be able to move on but until then, I will always love you”
You bit your lip, you would feel a lot better if he had agreed to move on but nothing can always go your way, you waved at Jumin and sat in the car, the ache behind your eyeballs finally relaxed as tears fell from down your face, it felt like leaving your past lifetime as you drove away from Jumin, but you knew he had to get better and that continuing the relationship wouldn’t push him to realise the measure of his faults, he wasn’t healthy for you and you weren’t healthy for him.
You arrived back at Zen’s apartment and entered, there was not a single light on as you stepped in and not single sound to be heard.
“Zen? Where are you? Are you home?”
You furrowed your brows and switched the light on, he hasn’t mentioned his going anywhere so he should have been home. You walked into the living and saw him sitting on the floor against the couch, his knees were pressed against his chest and several beer cans were littered around him. How much had he drunk? You were only gone for a short while.
You walked up to him and touched his shoulder, “Zen, it’s me, are you feeling alright? Why were all the lights off?”
Zen looked up at you with red eyes.
“MC? I thought you were going to leave me, I love you so much MC” Zen pulled you into an embrace and wrapped his arms around you, his nose finding it’s place in your neck.
“I left Jumin”
Zen looked up at you, for a while he expressed surprise, but then his eyes flicked down to your lips and his breathing had quickened. You reached up and stroked his hair as the both of you gravitated towards each other, the distance between your lips decreasing.
As soon as the both of you had joined together, Zen picked you up and transferred you to the bedroom, he separated from you and looked down.
“I won’t do anything with you tonight, I don’t want to make you feel guilty”
You smiled softly and pulled him down for another kiss, it was soft and slow, his wandering hands adding to the pleasure.
You let go and said “Zen, thank you for always thinking of me” He smiled and lay next to you “Don’t you think a nap midday is suitable for this situation?” You laughed and curled into him, he was warm and firm, almost like your protector.
“Thank you MC” were the last words you heard before you fell asleep again.