forgive-us

How trivial and insignificant are our first world problems in comparison to our brothers and sisters suffering across the Ummah; whether in Burma, Syria, Palestine, or elsewhere. While we complain of heart-break or depression based on the influence of our materialistic and Godless society, they are dealing with the mass murder and rape of their very own families, and trying any means just to survive and attain food or shelter. Yet astonishingly, they only take it as a means to get closer to Allah and attain the real abode to come, whereas we take our matters as excuses to turn away from Him and forget the Akhirah to come. 

So Long as You’re Safe, I Don’t Care What Happens to Me

He knows it’s not good, knows that the pain throbbing in his side means nothing good for him, but you’re still at his side, sweat smeared over your forehead and red cheeks, lips parted as you gasp in deep breaths and cough out the dust floating in the air.

He knows he’s probably going to die if he doesn’t stop to rest, but the bullets are still coming, rattling against the oversized safe he’d dragged you behind, and you’re still here, bleeding from three different cuts and begging him to keep moving.

He grabs your hand, blood soaked palm slipping when he yanks you forward.

“Are you hurt?” You question, voice rising in panic, but he just shakes his head, pushing you in front of him, shoving you toward the back door and toward the get away van that should be waiting to pick you up.

“Wait. Wait!” You shout, words high-pitched as you reach for him. A bullet whizzes past you, leaving a crater in the wall behind you and his breath catches in his throat.

“Go, you need to go,” he says, grimacing and reaching for the hole in his side.

You shake your head, eyes wide as you duck behind a desk, pulling him with you. “I’m not leaving you behind.”

He swallows his fear, darting up to peer at the enemy. “You don’t have much time.”

Your fingers scrabble to lift the hem of his plain black tee, soaked, you notice, with blood. Your stomach turns at the sight and he can see it in your eyes, can tell that his instinct was right. He’s going to die.

God help him if he lets you face the same fate.

He shoves your hands away, tugging the hem back down and meeting your panicked gaze.

“We have to get to the medic, he’ll know what to do. He can—he must know—”

He shakes his head, “It’s too late for me. But not you. You can still make it.”

Your mouth opens and closes. “No, no. I’m not leaving you here.”

He fights the urge to roll his eyes at your stupid stubbornness. Something he’d fallen so desperately in love with is nothing more than a terror-inducing flaw right now. “Go. The van should be outside. I’ll hold them here.”

The wood of the desk splinters, slicing his forehead as the fragments fly through the air near you. “I can’t—”

“Go!” He shouts, spinning on his heel, cocking the near-empty pistol in his hand.

You grab his hand, ready to protest.

He turns back to you, heart shattering because he knows this is the end, knows that he will never spend another moment laughing with you, reveling in the feeling of knowing he was the reason you were happy. It kills him as much as he thinks is possible.

But he doesn’t have time to worry about the blood leaking from his side or the future he’s abandoning, not when you still have a chance to escape.

Blood streaks across your cheek as he places a hand on it, pulling your toward him and into a desperate, hot kiss. You can taste the blood leaking from a cut in his lip and the salt from his sweat, but you don’t pull away, your own heart breaking and stomach turning. This isn’t a good-luck kiss or a let’s-hope-we-do-this kiss.

This is a goodbye kiss.

His eyes well with tears as he breaks the kiss off, leaning his forehead against yours, shaky breaths escaping his cracked lips and stinging the cuts in your chin. “I love you, I love you so much.”

Before you can say it back, he’s shoving you away, letting you fall to the cool tile so he can face the enemy, dart out from cover, pistol drawn, tears streaking through the dirt on his face.

He doesn’t see you leave, just hears you scream his name, but you’re too late, he’s there, shooting them down, leaning against the cool metal of the safe, praying you listened, praying you left.

When the enemy finally reaches him, he’s out of bullets and pale, so pale the enemy wonders aloud, asking if he’s a ghost. It’s a joke, one he can muster a smile for.

“You wish,” he mutters, shaking so hard he can hardly control his hand as he reaches inside his pocket.

“I don’t doubt you will be soon,” the enemy says, a sneer on his lips as he reaches forward to poke at his broken nose.

“So will you,” he murmurs, forcing his eyes to focus on the ugly sneer, the ugly expression.

“You think? You don’t think I’ll reach your girl? Don’t worry, you won’t be a lonely ghost for long.”

He spits out blood, letting it trickle down his chin as he musters all of his energy. There proves to be just enough for a quick thrust, a jab to the stomach, but it’s all he needs: he knows where the organs are.

The enemy stumbles back, cursing, mouth gaping, but it doesn’t matter, he’s done it. The enemy will die in a few short minutes, and you’ll be safe. For good.

He slides down the side of the safe, eyes fluttering shut, breaths shortening, pain fading.

He breathes out, head thumping against the safe once. He did it.

He did it.

The world spins, even with his eyes closed, and he wonders vaguely if you made it out, if you can finally leave this life. For a moment, one too short for his liking, he can hear your laugh, pealing like the church bells that woke him every Sunday, and a faint smile crosses his bloodied lips.

He’s saved. You’re here with him, kneeling next to his side, eyes rolling as you berate him for being so reckless.

“I love you,” he murmurs, laughing the slightest at how kind the words are in his mouth.

“And I love you, you idiot,” you mutter back, that wondrous smile that steals his breath away lighting up your face.

“Never leave me,” he says, breathless, “never. Never, I… I love you so much. I love you. I…” The world shuts down on him, fading into a bright, blinding white that envelopes everything but you.

His last breath is spent on you, on your life together, and when he finally gives up, lets himself let go, he doesn’t realize he’s dying utterly alone.

aquilacalvitium  asked:

The prayer of Anti: Our demon who art a bitch, Fucked be thy existence, Thy glitches come, We will freak out, As theorists run for the hills. Give us this day our sanity, And forgive us our shittakes, As we do not forgive thou, For being a glitch bitch. And lead us not into insanity, But deliver us from pain. For thou art a bitch, An asshole and a demon. Forever and ever. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHmen.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHMEN - Mod Lily

Forgiveness

A collaboration with @virgilioastram


He quickly fell out of the dimension 

 Toppling down the slivered stairs 

Which sprouted feet and ran away 

He stood in the confines of his mind 


No way in 

No way out 

Vista of vanity 

A blank void 

What was there to be gained here? 

Where was solace hiding in the white?


Thoughts echoed inside his mind 

Counting aimless footsteps 

Until a staircase ran ahead 

And planted in his tracks


He clamored for escape 

Enthusiastic stepping on tile 

But as the taps became numerous 

His location remained still 

A hoax! A phantasm! Despair!


He closed his eyes 

Enveloped in the darkness 

And opened them caged In glass shard teeth 

A swing in an abyss 

With a slowly slipping chain


Rumbling, scrambling, he forced 

his tiny prison to drop into oblivion 

For he only wished for freedom

and embraced his doom with anticipation 

 No more abysses! No more beguiling traps! 

And the chain gave up


Like an anchor 

The cage dropped 

Clenching teeth 

He flailed his arms, and screamed 

Set me free! 

 His echoes broke the black, fading 

Into the blank void he fell 

Glass teeth shattering 

Landing In front of the open door


A swift push and creaking 

The young man beholds a glade 

Flowering fields on for miles 

And a single tower over the horizon


He tread through the field 

His face soaking the rays 

And looked up to see a winged door flying away 

But he never looked back 

He kept forward his tracks 

Counting footsteps this time in anticipation


It didn’t matter to him 

As he became tranquil and still 

The youth flopped upon the meadow 

When the portal swooped and took him 

He awoke inside the ivory castle 

Where he was meant to be 

But of course he did keep an eye out 

As to not fall down silver stairs once more

In case you were unaware, a personality disorder is a mental health disorder which is literally ingrained into a persons personality.


Someone with paranoid personality disorder is always going to be more paranoid than the average person. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder is always going to have a bigger ego. Someone with dependant personality disorder will always need others more.


To truly treat a personality disorder takes years of intensive cognitive behavioral therapy. To completely reconstruct a personality is impossible. Personality disorders are unique from other mental illnesses because our disorder cannot be detached from us.


We can try to cope and try to better ourselves, but were bound to fall back into our ways now and again because of how deeply rooted our disorders are. We act without thinking, many times we’re truly unaware of what we are doing, call us out, make us recognize our behavior. Lack of recognition and awareness is the biggest reason we don’t get help in the first place. Above all, support us, forgive us, don’t demonize us because we are different.

My heart hurts even writing this but there are 320,000 people in Yemen who are suffering from cholera and half of the population is at risk of dying from it. The UN relief chief reported 16 million people have no access to adequate water, sanitation and hygiene.

Why is there no media coverage on this? Why is there no outrage? Why does nobody care? Do Yemeni lives not matter? Where are the muslims that scream free Palestine and every other muslim country? Where are they when their brothers and sisters are dying from poverty, cholera and being bombed on top of that. I’m so angry because we have failed them, we failed the people of Yemen.

INTP and compliments
  • *doing a quiz about what career suits as best*
  • 8. What are your best qualities?
  • INTP: I have no idea what to write here.
  • Friend INFP: Well, you always help me with school work and understand the subjects very easily!
  • INTP: Oh, thanks!
  • INFP: What about me?
  • INTP: ...
  • INFP: ...
  • INTP: ...
  • INFP: Ahahah, nevermind ^^
BTS replaced you. - pt.END

[pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3] [pt.END]


Originally posted by mimibtsghost

“You guys have no idea how hurt she is that you basically threw her to the curb and left her like that.” I looked at all seven of the men who stood before me after Y/N had ran to her room and closed the door behind her.

“Why are you interfering? What did you say to her to get her to hate us like this?” Jungkook stood before me, squaring up as if he was ready to throw a punch. But I took a step back.

Keep reading

Aspects of Lilith

Both descriptions may apply to conjunctions.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Sun: The native has a well-defined sense of self & remarkable inner security. They thrive when in conflict with an oppressive force or structure & feed on all kinds of attention, positive or negative. They take pride in their radical traits; they are liberated by unapologetic self-expression. Shame is not part of their vocabulary. Social discord is entertaining. The identity relies on breaking stereotypes, standing out, or rebelling somehow. Hedonism can become a severe self-sabotaging issue if the enjoyment of freedom goes too far or inflates the ego to the point of unhealthy confidence. These people typically find trouble wherever they go, and are easily bored by rules & standards.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Sun: The native is constantly met with criticism, rejection, or exclusion for their individuality, and this causes them to hide or repress the most unique parts of themselves. They despise expectations, and when others have any measure of control over them they can become hostile or deeply troubled. They have a painful yearning for freedom but fear the reactions they are used to receiving. A significant amount of their energy will be spent learning how to express themselves openly & shamelessly. Social stigma or stifling of the identity in whatever form will be the primary catalyst for discovery and realization of self. They will be forced to accept themselves.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Moon: The native is comfortable exploring the darker & more unconventional parts of who they are. They instinctually understand their aberrant or taboo qualities, and they are not afraid of them; they’re naturally introspective when it comes to rejection or exclusion and intuitively realize what separates them from others. They use their emotions & imagination to highlight their individuality; they also find freedom in emotional expression. They are not tied down to the person they were raised to be, and do not limit themselves to a personal standard any more than a societal standard – they are able to break away from habitual conformity or self-stifling habits in general.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Moon: The native is emotionally upset by rejection and may cling to tradition or other metaphorical “safety blankets” developed in childhood in order to avoid social discord. They habitually repress their dark, taboo, or aberrant qualities out of discomfort & insecurity. They’re afraid of fully expressing themselves, and being free in their individuality is a frighteningly foreign concept; they shy away from situations that prompt them to stand out or rebel and will retreat into a shell of reservations when faced with the opportunity to break or bend a standard. The emotional equilibrium is ravaged by criticism, exclusion, and alienation. They feel painfully isolated.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Mercury: The native is able to logically analyze social stigmas & standards, and intellectually deconstruct the power those have over individual lives (especially their own). Reason consistently prevails over peer pressure. Their ideas and the way they communicate them are radical in some way and receive much attention, good or bad. Criticism is easily combated with the mind; they are able to see through others’ opinions and separate themselves from judgement, and are thus free to think the way they want to – free thought defines their mindscape, and they are lost without it. Mental/verbal exchanges shape their understanding of society. Controversy deeply intrigues them.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Mercury: The native has little faith in their ability to accurately comprehend themselves, others, or society as a whole, and therefore may place monumental importance on other people’s opinions. They are easily stressed by having to explain themselves or their actions; judgement and criticism easily shut them down. They are quick to label their ideas or their interpersonal & communicative mannerisms as strange and unwanted, so they may choose to be quiet and reserved rather than put their mind on display. They have a very difficult time defending themselves or rationalizing their place in a group. They can’t use their logical mind to escape twisted social structures.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Venus: The native easily merges personal freedom & social graces to create a naturally appealing individuality which gains positive attention & reactions from others, no matter how taboo or radical. Controversy is a part of the unique style; in other words, this person wears ignominy well, and may use it to their advantage in an attractive way. Others admire or romanticize their aberrant qualities. The native’s personal tastes and preferences support a happily outcast identity; criticism & judgement serve as signs of being socially relevant, and they make being different fashionable. Extreme hedonism is tied to this aspect, especially in relationships that aren’t widely acceptable.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Venus: The native is torn in a heightened conflict between individuality and conformity, particularly in the context of relationships or style. The vacillation between radical subversion of social standards and passive adherence to them is a matter of choosing between happiness and harmony, both of which are crucially important. The native may lose relationships or general popularity for their stigmatized qualities, which deeply harms their self-esteem. They wish to fully be themselves but cannot reconcile that with the risks that come with it – they are unsure of its worth, which subsequently leads to uncertain self-worth as a whole.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Mars: The native possesses an unconquerable willpower which seldom bends for anyone else, and there is little care for others’ disapproval of it. If something is desired, it is achieved; the expectations and opinions of other people have little to no influence. No social stigma, criticism, or oppressive standard can get in the way of the native’s drive. They regularly break rules and disregard structures that don’t serve their initiatives, and charge forward without waiting for anyone to forgive, accept, or get used to them. Their sexuality is openly expressed; they are proud of their taboo desires. Going against popular belief fuels their inner fire, impassions and excites them.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Mars: The native is easily infuriated by notions, structures, or actions which they perceive as threatening of their autonomy, and they typically react with hostility when others criticize or attempt to control them in any way. They are unable to handle judgement, often reject the opinions of others before they’ve even heard them, and thus usually have a narrow view of most things, lacking the capacity to see other perspectives. Their one-track mind can cause them to lack foresight & create immense social conflict/discord where it is not necessary or appropriate. All of this stems from a deep fear of of others defining them, so they invert it into aggressive opposition of others & abrasively assume the role of “outcast” before others can force them into it.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Jupiter: The native’s mind is filled with grand philosophies of the truth about society and why stigmas & standards must be broken for spiritual growth. They find enlightenment through liberation; freedom is more important to them than anything else because it fulfills them in every way and allows them to expand their intellect. Likewise, they use their intellect to expand their freedom, as well as the freedom of others. They may become something of a social pioneer or modern guru, teaching about the detrimental nature of the status quo and encouraging others to go against the norm. They don’t believe in conformity. Their beliefs separate them from the majority.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Jupiter: The native may attach to philosophies solely for the sake of controversy. They may become so invested in being different that they no longer care if they are right. Their morality is selfish; their beliefs & personal code revolve around a set of faux rules which permit them to be hedonistic or destructive for the sake of “liberation.” Unhealthy, harmful habits are proudly paraded around under the guise of self-empowered notions. Self-control feels unbearably limiting and stifling, even if it’s for their own good. They can become “special snowflake” types, and attempt to preach their flawed ideas so that others follow them in their “enlightened” lifestyle and thus validate it.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Saturn: Much of the native’s power comes from the innate ability to rework social limitations into structures that serve their purpose and growth. They are incredibly wise when it comes to the sensitivity of culture and know their place in society, as well as how to change it. They understand that freedom comes with responsibility and it does not come free; they possess the self-discipline necessary to cultivate true self-liberation and they aren’t afraid of putting in the effort to create the individuality they want to be known for. They handle stigma with grace, and rationally deconstruct the paradigms of others so that they begin to question why they believe in certain standards & “norms.”
Square, opposite, or quincunx Saturn: The native easily becomes consumed by the “process” of “becoming themselves” – they get caught up in the changes that need to be made within themselves or in their environment before they can allow themselves to be fully self-expressive. They limit themselves with their own expectations, can become hindered by tradition, and place too much importance on the judgement & disapproval of authority figures. They care about the structural integrity of society, and don’t wish to compromise its strength, so they tend to repress all that is aberrant, controversial, or radical about themselves; they see self-liberation as selfish, non-productive, and unnecessarily dissonant.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Uranus: The native possesses very extreme views and opinions on society which others either love or hate them for. They often behave outrageously for the fun of it, and do or say things that may cause discord because gives them an electric, purposeful feeling. They disregard all social limitations and couldn’t care less about acceptance. They are the bona fide rebel. Nothing & no one can prevent them from being the person they want to be. Liberation runs in their blood. They don’t believe in any social order which hinders individual autonomy, and they have a desire to change society to make room for “the atypicals” like them. They use their freedom to free others.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Uranus: Much of the traits for harmonious Lilith-Uranus aspects apply here as well, but in a harsher, more desperate sense. The native knows the pain and isolation of being rejected, humiliated, alienated, and ostracized, so they devote a lot of their energy to radically changing the social climate for the better. They have an ironic moral code; while they reject the morality of others, they follow their own rules. Their rebellion is decisive and purposeful rather than hedonistic or self-congratulating; they have a vision, a grand and noble goal of collective freedom which begins with them. They wish to change society almost as punishment for their oppressors.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Neptune: The native effortlessly, unconsciously evades social boundaries; cultural restrictions can’t contain them, because they slip away from rules and judgement non-violently, mysteriously. They live almost independent of social structure, outside of the realm of conformity. Others often romanticize their aberrant qualities & paint them as figures of graceful rebellion & unapologetic individuality, even though they may not intend to come across as such – they are just existing, but they do so with a gentle limitlessness envied by others. They draw inspiration and spiritual fulfillment from liberation, and feel most free when their soul (or subconscious mind) is uninhibited.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Neptune: The native is easily confused or lost within social boundaries; they can’t comprehend others’ judgements or the rules placed upon them, and this creates deep interpersonal discomfort which invades the subconscious mind and the soul, surfacing through dreams, art, & emotions (which are the only places they feel free). They may cling to religion/spirituality to find their individuality. They can’t differentiate external standards from interior goals/desires and often chase ideals that aren’t their own. Others demonize their aberrant qualities and label them inaccurately. They liberate themselves through deceit, illusion, and escapism, as it is the only way they know how to.

Sextile, trine, or quintile Pluto: The native is intimately connected to their individuality, possessing a raw, resilient relationship to the darkest parts of who they are which separate them from others. They are immensely courageous when it comes to experiencing the taboo & controversial parts of society, entirely unafraid of things others try to ignore. They transform through unapologetic self-expression, and find rebirth through liberation. Their sexuality is deep and powerful, extreme and different, and they are proud of this; it is part of their identity, part of the way they rebel from society’s control over ego. They never allow society or other people to control them in any way. They own themselves.
Square, opposite, or quincunx Pluto: The native is terrified of being controlled, and has extremely adverse emotional reactions to anything they perceive as having the potential to limit their freedom. They are paranoid of society’s power to erase individuality. They go to severe measures to protect their identity and autonomy, resorting to secrecy, manipulation, lies, and hostility to defend what they are afraid will be taken from them or exposed. They are fundamentally ashamed, guilty, and fearful; criticism and judgement harms their self-image. Their dark, taboo, aberrant traits are out of control, particularly their “unacceptable” sexual desires. They’re ruled by an obsession with individuality & liberation, which ironically damages or decreases their individual freedom.