forgive me father for i have sinned again

Yes, Father. (Priest! Jason Todd x Reader) ~Smut

Requested: Nah

A/N:…….fucking christ. Um, I’m not religious so don’t take this literally. I have to say though, i enjoyed writing every single part of this. I got this idea from my wonderful friends on tumblr who all like science (Inside joke, those of you who aren’t in the chat wouldn’t know).

*****WARNINGS: SIN!!! PURE SIN!!!! THIS IS FUCKING SINFUL OH MY FUCK I TRULY BELONG IN HELL FOR THIS!!! LIKE BRO IF YOU’RE SUPER RELIGIOUS PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CAUSE YALL GON BE FUCKING IN CHURCH!!!

Summary: You go to confession to spill out all of the feelings you have for your pastor, Father Jason. Turns out, you were confessing to him without realizing it. Things get heated once he confronts you about the things you want him to do to you.

Word Count: 2,798

Tags: @wynterrobin @wannabe-weasley @tim-help @avengerdragoness @kazuha159

I couldn't wait for the 666 so here ya go xD

~

It was eating you alive. These feelings, these thoughts. You never knew why you started feeling this way when you’re around him.

When you’re supposed to be praying during Sunday mass, you’d think about the different ways he would touch you inappropriately. It drove you crazy every time you go to Church. You started wearing skirts above the knees, which were considered inappropriate in the presence of God, but at this point, God wasn’t your first priority anymore.

Father Jason is the sweetest man you’ve ever met. He’s not like any other priest here in Gotham. He actually uses the church donations for charity, not for himself like the corrupted priests out there.

You felt guilty. You knew you had to do something about this guilt. Confession was your only hope. Maybe it’ll help your sinful thoughts go away.

It was your first time confessing. You sighed as you opened the doors to the empty Church. You placed your purse on one of the near by pews and made your way to the Confession box. You opened the door and sat inside in the dark, waiting for one of the Fathers to arrive. You heard Father Jason couldn’t make it in today so you took this opportunity to confess to someone else.

You looked at your surroundings. On your left was a purple heavy curtain that was going to hide your complete embarrassment. 

You gulped when you heard someone open the door on the other side of the curtain. You waited for a moment but remembered the words you had to say in order to start, “Bless me Father for I have sinned.”

The Father whispered, “Go on.” You couldn’t tell who’s voice it was because of the curtain. 

You felt your heart race. Was this a good idea? “I’ve been having terrible thoughts, Father.”

The silence told you to keep going, “I don’t know when it started, but all I know is that I want to be with Father Jason in ways that should damn me to Hell.”

You told the Father everything, every detail. From your filthy fantasies to the rough way you wanted Jason to treat you, “I want him to treat me like his own personal slut but I also want to be the one he loves.” When you finished you waited for the Father’s response, but nothing was said.

“Uh, Father?” Was that too much? Are you still going to Hell?

You heard him clear his throat, “You are forgiven.”

You let out a suffering sigh and said thank you through the curtain. You stepped out of the confession box and scurried to the exit, grabbing your purse as you left.

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Forgive me father for I have sinned

Father the devil was the most beautiful angel and you made him my brother 

Forgive me father for I am weak

You placed him into my arms father and I jumped into the fire, and father I have never felt cleaner than when he kisses my lips 

Forgive me father for before I am your soldier I am his

I shall follow his commands before I follow yours and father in my heart there shall be no regret

Forgive me father for I only invoke your name when I am at the cathedral of his hips

I shall worship at his feet for he is my God

His flesh shall be my bread, his blood shall be my wine and I’ll ask no forgiveness father for between his legs my salvation I will find

Forgive me father for I will spill my sins at your feet while his taste is still on my lips and I know father when he beckons me back into his arms I will follow

Forgive me father for I have made you cry and I shall do it again if my punishment is his smile

Let me burn besides him in eternal damnation father, for my soul is his and I shall find no greater paradise than him

Forgive me father for I love him more than any man has a right to love his brother

And forgive me father but for as long as he is mine I do not truly seek your forgiveness

Dark eyes, darker intentions.

Cr.

Pairing: Namjoon / Reader.

Genre:  Smut, demeaning names, dom/sub undertones.

Summary: Namjoon had always been fond of drawing out your pleasure, dragging you through your bliss again and again until all you knew was his name. With that being said, it wasn’t as if you ever complained.

Word count: 1,487

Note: Forgive me father for I have sinned ;;


Teeth sinking into bruised and searing skin had a cry tearing from your throat - toes curling in bliss and throat arching back under that attack when hips continued to collide with your own. The sheets that had been so nicely made before now lay in ruins around you; sweat, cum and saliva sinking so far into the sheets until the sex of your union was sliding over the walls and squeezing desire like a weight in your stomach as you writhed. You had already met your peak more time than you could count from when Namjoon had appeared behind you where you worked, tempting you away from the reports that sat in your drafts that begged for attention with the sinful promise of the satiation your body longed for.

Some may find your relationship with the man to be odd, some may even resent you for the dynamics you let into your bed and heart over and over again with faux accusations of weakness and misogyny, but you could only smile and pity the ignorance that was thrown at you day in and day out with barely concealed whispers and prying ears. Because the truth of it was that you like the rush of blood that spiked over you when someone clawed into your hips, loved the bruises that lay claim over your body. In fact you practically craved the attention, needed the semblance of control in your life when every hour of you work life was spent running after stuck up higher ups that sneered to your back as you pushed to do every single thing you were asked at a record speed with little other than a grunt in acknowledgement. You needed that hand that was possessively clasped on your waist to move, needed the lips that left you breathless to gasp for air, and needed the cock that burnt pleasure through your very being to clear your mind.

But you had to be clear that despite everything that happened when you were pulled into your lovers dangerously tempting embrace, you were not dominated in your relationship. The lines of your love making had been set years earlier and they were firmly never crossed. All of the painfully euphoria bestowed on your body was carefully washed away with loving words and a dimpled smile that whispered words of affection to you when you were curled up next to a warm body, ass still stung from the print of his hand and lips still plump from the ferocity of his kiss. And it was exactly how you liked it.

Your were puled from your thoughts as a hand curled around your neck, digging into the flesh deliciously to just the point between breathlessness and curdling pleasure to make way for the body that pushed it weight down onto you until your front was flush with the mattress- its coarse surface grating over your raw nipples.

“Stay with me, Y/N” The gruff timbre of Namjoon’s voice was laved into the shell of your ear, tongue darting out to pull roughly alone the sensitive flesh when you responded with little other than a cry of his name that wobbled dangerously as you trembled, “What’s your colour?” Your knuckles were a stark white against your ruddy hue as they sunk deeper into the clench you had on the pillow that was flying from your reach with each precariously powerful thrust. 

“Answer me if you don’t want me to stop, pet.”

Keep reading

Imagine Ivar being the one who wants to take over your kingdom (part 4)

Part Ihttp://lordavanti.tumblr.com/post/157144945223/imagine-ivar-being-the-one-who-wants-to-take-over
Part IIhttp://lordavanti.tumblr.com/post/157202649578/imagine-ivar-being-the-one-who-wants-to-take-over
Part IIIhttp://lordavanti.tumblr.com/post/157369890748/imagine-ivar-being-the-one-who-wants-to-take-over

Summary: Now you are back home you can’t find a true path to walk on, besides that you don’t have any control about your emotions or feelings. Until that one day that the army of your father prepares for battle and your left to pray for your God. But then their is Ivar with an offer that your father just can’t resist, leaving you in anger because you have no idea what feels good; hate your father or love Ivar.
Words: 3152


You stood before the window, looking outside to the grey sky, the rain that fell down from it. The weather was just as terrible as you felt. For two days it had rain now and in those two days nothing more happened than you staying in your room and watching outside while the whole kingdom was preparing for a battle. You looked down to your hand, softly took of the bandage that covered up the wound. The herbs that he gave you had healed you hand quite well, but it still hurted. A pain you felt not only in your hand but through your whole body, especially your heart. Why could you feel this way after what happened? You didn’t even know what that feeling meant. But every time you looked through the window outside you hoped to see nothing more than a green landscape. You hoped you never had to see your fathers army march outside, you hoped you never had to see him again.

When you couldn’t sleep you went to the church. A lot of people came her lately because of the tension there was in the kingdom. Everybody had heared what happened in Wessex when the great heathen army came. And now they were willing to take over your kingdom. You knew they were only a part of the army, you knew it was only him … outnumbered. “Father.” You whispered when you entered the church. The candles trew small shadows over the altar. The silence maked you shiver a little. Your steps were full of doubt, fear when you looked a the statue of the lord Christus. You saw your own flickering reflexion in one of the candle holders. Your face was covered with some scratches, not as bad as you thought it would be. Your throat was a different story, you didn’t showed anybody the dark red and bleu markings on your throat. You folded your hands together and sat on your knees, closing your eyes while you tried to empty your head. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” And it was the first time you spoke your doubts out loud, to the god you believed in. You looked up to the statue again. “I’m lost and seeking for my true pad again. I’m not sure what I have to do my lord.” You confessed. You heared a noice and jerked your head around to see who was coming, a priest.
“My lady, you shouldn’t be out of bed this late.” He said. You unfolded your hands and looked for a little while in the dark. “You seem troubled.” The priest went further. He sat down on one of the brown seats in front of the church, hardly three meters away from you.
“I am.” You spoke freely to him.
“Tell me my child.”
“I met a man, he is,” you swallowed when you saw his face again before your eyes. “He is different, he doesn’t believe in the god like I do. He seems troubled, always angry with himself.”
“Is he a sinner?” The priest asked. You looked down to you hand and nodded slowly. Yes, he was a sinner, you knew that the moment you met him. “Is he lost on his path?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I think he is but other times he is so confident and clearheaded.” You thought of how he taked care of you, of your hand, how he looked at you. You felt the warmth through your body when you remembered the lightly touch of his fingertips.
“And you think you have to help this man? What is it that you feel my child?” The priest asked calm. You let your breath slip over your lips after those two questions. What was it that you felt?
“I think that love can help him. He is not from here, I don’t know his believes, and don’t know anything about him and yet it feels like,” you shutted your eyes and looked to the ground. “I don’t know what I feel. But I know that we’ll see each other again and that I have to choose between the lord his way or the feelings in my heart.” You looked over your shoulder to the priest who stood up and walked over to you. He laid his hand on your head and looked down at you.
“It isn’t a sin to love a man who doesn’t believe in the same things. If it is truly in your heart you want to help or love that man, than it maybe is Gods will.” He stroke your head gently and a single tear left your eye.
“He hurts people, he hurted me.”
“Everone is a sinner once in his life my child. Maybe god choose you to make him less a sinner.” And with that words he walked away and leaved you with more doubt dan you came in.

The clocks pulled you out of your sleep. You stumbled out of bed to the window that gave you a clear look on the courtyard. It weren’t just soldiers, it was your fathers whole cavalry. The red flags, the dark horses, the shining armors. They were going to battle. You grabbed your dressing gown and ran out of your room, took the stairs down and ran over the courtyard looking for your father. Despite that your brother was a year younger, he leaded this army on his white horse. “Brother!” You yelled. He looked over his shoulder and turned his horse towards you. You grabbed the reins to keep the animal still.
“Our scouts said they were preparing for battle.” He smiled while looking over his army, a bigger army than that from Ivar.
“Can’t you strike a deal?” You asked scared. The thought of loosing you brother scared you, but the fact that Ivar was outnumbered maked your stomach turn on the inside.
“We don’t deal with those pagans y/n, you better pray for our safe return.”
“I will brother.” You nodded. He gave you a loving smile before he turned his horse to the men again. You father road by and you stopped his horse before he could ignore you like usual.
“Don’t be scared daughter, we tremble with triumph after we slayed each one of them.” It was tuff talking from him, you knew he wasn’t that confident.
“You know that the others will come seek for revenge right?” You asked. His horse was nervous, pacing on its place, eager to get moving.
“Let them come, I already send word to the other kingdoms.” He grinned in a way you couldn’t watch to him anymore. You walked to the gate, looked how your brother and father rode side by side through the gate followed by a whole cavalry army, at least a fifty riders and dubble that on soldiers. You swallowed when they all marched out, this day would be a distarter. You could lose your father, your beloved brother and maybe … you tried not to think much of him but when you looked down to your hand you could only see those bleu eyes, that confident smile, that slihtly caring look he only had showed to you. Ivar could die to and you had now idea if it was something to see good or bad. He had twisted you in so many ways you weren’t sure what to think of him anymore.

From your chamber you had a clear vieuw over where they were heading. You spotted your father and brother in front of the army, on their white horses. You felt the tension in your body like you where over there with them yourself. But how further they got, how less you saw and at some point they vanished from your eyes and left you behind with that fear you would never see them again. Should you go after them? You weren’t always an obay daughter, you could if you wanted. But the doubt … you didn’t want to see one of them die before your eyes. And they would be distracted by you, and maybe that would get them killed. So you stayed in your room and waited, prayed for them.

Their wasn’t any salvation soon. Every time you heared something you ran to the window only to be dissapointed by something as small as playing kids or a farmer moving his chariot. So you didn’t payed attention anymore, not until somebody knocked on your door. “Yes?” You asked, not been able to move from the place you sat on the bed. Would this be it, the news that your father and brother were dead, that those Vikings would overcome this kingdom? The door flew open and a soldier stood in the doorway. He came from the battlefield, his boots were covered in mud but there was no blood on his armor.
“My lady, you’re been asked on the battlefield.” He pronounced. It weren’t exactly the words you wanted to here so you stared for a moment, let it all sink in.
“Why?”
“I don’t know my Lady, you father asked me to bring you there.” He answered polite. You nodded and he leaved. Why would you have to go there? You would see Ivar again … What should you say? You putted some appropriate ridingclothes on and walked to the courtyard were the soldier stood waiting besided his horse. You rose on your grey mare and followed the soldier in a fast gallop. The whole way to that battlefield you asked yourself what the meaning of this was. As youapproached you saw that the army of your father still was unharmed. They all stood neatly in line awaiting orders.
“Over there my lady.” The soldier pointed towards you father and brother … a handfull of his soldiers and the chariot of Ivar. You swallowed and pressed your heels in the mare, pushing her towards your father and brother. The company there was swifted shifted his attention towards you when you were closeby enough to be noticed. The first eyes you really met were those blue ones of Ivar. He didn’t flinch with the eyecontact you two made, he just looked at you, calm, confident and maybe, for hardly two seconds releaved. You never thought you would miss the face of the man who hurted you in so many ways. The mare slipped away in the mud and came unsteady to a halt beside your brother. He was angry, your father as usual practical. You looked back at Ivar who grinned by the side of this little guessing game you had to play.
“What is going on?” You finally asked.
“Your father is willing to make a deal.” Ivar began. You felt a shivering through your body when you heared the sarcasm in his voice. This was the kind of Ivar who pulled you through the forest, the kind of Ivar that was easily to get angree.
“Father?” You turned your head to your father but is was your brother who spoke.
“This pagan is willing to let our home at peace in return for you.”
“And gold now we are on it.” Ivar smiled devious. Your eyes widened, looking at your father.
“And you accepted this?” You asked him angry. He couldn’t just do that, give you away so he wouldn’t have to fight.
“It would safe uss a lot of trouble.” He nodded.
“He almost killed her!” Your brother yelled. You started panicking, looking from your father to your brother and finally to Ivar.
“How could you ask this?” You asked him before shaking your head. Tears welled up in your eyes. “Why would you even consider to gave me away, father? I’m not a piece of fabric to sell.” You didn’t knew where you were more angry about, the fact your father let you so easily go or the fact that Ivar once again, putted you for such a dilemma.
“Like the lord Christus did, everyone has to make once in his life a sacrifice.” Your father spoke. Your fingers tensed around the reins, not knowing what to do with the whole situation.
“If your aren’t going to fight than I will fight for my sister.”
“You’re not the king yet son. If I say Y/n should go with this Boneless than the decision is maked.” Interrupted your father your brother. You looked at Ivar who clenshed his jaws together in anger.
“In my believe, childeren are a gift from the gods, you don’t give them away and you don’t sacrifice them against their will. I demanded Y/n her presents so she could decide. You should fight for her, because she is more worth than all the gold you have over there.” Pointed Ivar with his axe in the direction of the castle. It was a threat, you could tell from the look in his eyes. But you felt a certain warmth spreading throughout your body, he cared … deep inside he cared about you.
“Than your god doesn’t know what rulling means.” You father replied.
“Ivar no,” Your eyes on the axe he would haved used if you didn’t stopped him. He looked at you, still with that anger in his eyes that remind you of what he did to you. It maked it so hard to decide and yet so easy. “I’ll go with you.” You agreed.
“No!” Your brother protested. You turned to him and shook your head softly.
“If it means I can safe your life I will.” You whispered.
“You will die with them.”
“No, she won’t.” Ivar intterupted the both of you. Your brother gave him an angry glance.
“How can I know that? How can I know that you won’t hurt her like you did last time?” He spitted out.
“Because she wouldn’t come if she didn’t knew that she would be safe.” Ivar aswered while looking at you. After last time, after what he did he changed towards you, you knew then what you knew now, he wouldn’t hurt you again. Or at least he would try.
“I will be safe brother.”
“I promise by my gods.” Ivar nodded when your brother looked at him again. Your father was already turning his horse around and you walked your mare over to Ivar his chariot. It was heartbreaking, taking this kind of goodbye from your brother, the look in his eyes when he tried to convince you otherwise. But you knew it was for the best.No soldiers would die, you brother would live and you had the adventure you always wanted.
“I will come back.” You promised your brother. He gave you a last look before he drove his horse after his farther. This wasn’t goodbye.

You followed Ivar back to their camp … wat wasn’t really a camp anymore, everything was cleared out, ready to move foward from this place. “Were are we going?” You asked without looking up.
“To my brothers, to the settlement.” Ivar answered. You nodded and road after his chariot, in complete silence. You didn’t packed, you had nothing with you of value. After a hour they all stopped for some rest, you jumped out of the saddle and tied the mare around a tree. You just stood there, looking from where you came to where you would go. “Y/n.” You turned around, meeting those blue eyes again. In contrast to earlier he was a more caring now, vulnerable almost. “I don’t need this anymore.” He oppened his hand and revealed your necklage, the little cross. You walked over to his chariot, he was sitting on the egde again, and looked at it.
“Keep it, keep it as a reminder.”
“You are my reminder, if you stay by my side.” He said softly. You looked back at him and shook your head.
“It’s not like you are going to leave me.”
“I could have killed your father, than you could have been queen, you could rule. But I didn’t, because you said me not to.”
“Maybe I should have let you.” You whispered while looking at the grass that was trembled underneath the pagan army. Your father never had respected you, not since mother had died. So maybe Ivar should have done it, it wouldn’t be that hard at least.
“You don’t mean that.” He dissagreed. You looked back at him, to the slight tenderness there was in his eyes.
“Did you meant it? That you would keep me safe? That you won’t hurt me again?” You asked. His eyes went to your throat were you hardly could see the marks he had caused. His memories were somewhere else for a moment and you only could look at his handsome face. “I’m scared of you and on the same time you do something with me I never felt before.” Your honesty came out of nowhere and he was a little supriced by it. He laid his hand on your waist and pulled you closer. Because he was sitting on the egde of the chariot you both almost were on eye level with eachother.
“Take a leap of faith sometimes.” He said with a soft smile.
“It isn’t funny Ivar, I’m scared you will hurt me,”
“I never, I promise you Y/n, I will never hurt you again.” He didn’t let you finish your sentence, he just let his thumb run a tear away from your face. “I will prove you that. You don’t have to do something that you don’t want to do. And you don’t have to be with me if you don’t want it.”
“That’s just it Ivar.” You spoke almost in frustration of the emotion that jumped around in your body. “I want to be with you, I just don’t know if I have to follow my heart or my mind.”
“You already choose that. Your mind would let your brother fight against my men but your heart choose to keep him safe and to trust me.” And he was right. It was that simple and you saw that now. You had to take a leap of faith, a leap of faith into Ivar. You had to have a little bit of believe in him. In the past you were a confident young woman seeking for adventure, Ivar turned you to a scare little girl because of what he did. You only had to find your old self back. Your eyes locked in his and you nodded a little more confident.
“Leap of faith.” You confirmed. He pulle you closer, placing his lips against yours in the most softest kiss you could imagine. You opened your lips a little, leaning in on him, absorbing the feeling of his fingers slowing stroking through your hear. And just as tender he was with you as fast changed his mood when some of his men intterupted your moment together. His anger flamed up in eyes and you asked yourself if you would survive this avendture …

The end? Other part? Timejump? Don’t know it myself, help me please.

new-recipe  asked:

the class going to camp out one day and during the night, Kacchan and Deku start to naturally gravitate towards each other in their sleep till they’re a mess of tangled limbs. The class wakes up to see the two just all over each other and snap a picture of it to tease them(mainly Kacchan) about it later.

I finally had the time to write this (it’s pretty long, I’m sorry) and it may be not exactly how you thought it would be ehehehe. But I really hope you like it anyway!




“I think it’s a great idea! It’s summer and spending the night at the lake sounds fun!“ Katsuki was walking next to Kirishima, hands tucked into his pockets and his usual frown on his face.

Yeah, of course it was a great idea. Spending the night with people he mostly just tolerated.   

When they arrived at the spot Tsuyu told them about, everyone settled down- arranging their things so they could start doing what they wanted.

But Katsuki had no idea, what they should do. He had to admit that the lake looked really beautiful in the afternoon sun and the breeze was calming. Especially because it was way too hot for the ash-blond male. His quirk worked best in summer, but his body surely did not.

“Okay, but… Are you guys sure you don’t need a tent?” Ashino said, while pulling out the sticks for her and Jirou’s. Kirishima just started ranting about that it’s not manly to camp in a tent when it’s warm enough and continued to collect stones for their firepit.

Katsuki already had enough. He wanted to bring a tent- he had one at home for fucks sake, but most of the other guys agreed with this red haired idiot more than with him and he knew that they would have picked on him for the rest of his school life, if he had brought one.

He really hoped that they all would suffer from terrible bug bites and that spiders would crawl up their ears. Why did his mother forced him to these great adventures (that’s what she’d called this dumb ideas the others have) with his classmates every. single. time?


“So, we will just sleep around the fire, or what?” He put out his sleeping bag and pad, ready to arrange his spot, but it seemed like no one heard him.

No one except one person. 

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anonymous asked:

"I’m a big fan of honoring and respecting your parents, even if they don’t do things that deserve honor or respect. I think unconditional love needs to be coupled with unconditional respect." I just read this post from you and I have a question, and I'm not being snarky or sassy by any means. I honestly want your opinion on this: my father sexually abused me for years and I've cut him out of my life for the past four years or so--should I talk to him again? I know I should extend grace, but...

Hey friend, I’m sorry to hear about that situation. I hate Satan. I hate what sin does to people. So glad you got out of that situation and cut off the relationship. 

It’s possible to forgive without restarting the relationship, or even talking with the other person. As you heal and as God changes you and makes you new from the inside out, He can help you let go of unforgiveness. 

Don’t reach out unless you’re absolutely sure God’s leading you to. I highly doubt that’s the case. Stay safe. Stay in a community of people who love and care for you. And if you ever do approach him or accept an invitation to be approached by him, never, never, never do it alone. Have a buddy along with you. People can be manipulative without even realizing it. Be safe. I’m glad you got out of it. 

A New Spamano Rec List!

Hi! So lately, I’ve been feeling the need for a new rec list for spamano fics. Probably because I’ve read most stories on most other lists, I don’t know. I write Spamano too, so if you’re interested, you can check out my fics here and here (some shameless self-promotion, hahaha), but I also have a very long list of spamano fics that I absolutely *adore*, written by some wonderful writers. 

I think she’s pretty popular as a spamano writer, and she’s a dear friend, but Spinyfruit has some amazing fics for this pairing. My favourites are The Space Between the Balconies, Tesoro Mio and Before the Snow Falls

For the rest, I’ve made a list!

All these stories are complete, and include both oneshots and multichapters. Warnings have been provided wherever required. 

1) Exasperation by ReinMaker - 
Lovino reflects on how it came to this, thanks to himself and his mother-in-law.

What I love about this fic is that it’s short, cleanly written and highly realistic. It gives you an idea of life beyond the happily ever after - it gives you an insight into what may happen next. The open-ending leaves it up to the reader to decide what needs to happen between Antonio and Lovino. 

2)  Five Steps to the Perfect Wine (or Romance) by BlackRoseGirl666 -  Spain and South Italy fall in love in steps that may or may not be comparable to those that go into making wine, if Spain were to be asked. Other nations stumble around them, slightly amazed.

I feel like this oneshot needs to be more popular because it’s hopelessly romantic and it just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Also, it’s beautifully written. 

3)  All of Our Sins by Terminally Introverted -  Lovino is Catholic, but he’s not entirely sure what he believes. Nevertheless, he and his brother Feliciano are forced to attend confirmation classes. When Lovino meets their group leader- bizarre, cheerful Antonio; one of the first people to treat Lovino like he matters- things get complicated. When they find this church is much darker than it appears, things get terrifying. Fast.

While this one has trigger warnings for self-harm and anxiety and suicidal themes, I know that it’s fairly well-known. I like it for how realistic it is and how it addresses the themes of homophobia. The fic is both frightening and heart-wrenching, but overwhelmingly hopeful. 

4) glory hallelujah by boys and girls look to the sky -  “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I had gay sex to music that wasn’t Gospel.” – Lovino/Antonio

Short and outrageously funny, this fic had me in splits, saying, “Holy crap!” over and over again. 

5)  strangers by 2degreesabovefreezing -  Lovino’s music was missing one thing…him. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, the optimistic busker who changed his life in ways he never could have guessed. Love can be lost as easily as it’s found, especially when it’s found by two broken-hearted kids still trying to find their way in life. A slice-of-life tale about the healing power of music, based off the award winning musical Once.

This is another fic I think deserves more recognition than it has. Sad, romantic and powerful, I love the portrayal of the characters. It’s just a really well-written story. 

6) All’s Fair in Love and Football by stellariums -  “There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy.” — A protective Lovino, his hysterical Spanish boyfriend, a massacre on the soccer field, and a moment of silence for Lars’ ridiculously expensive car.

Written after Spain’s disastrous FIFA defeat, this is a short but adorable (and funny) series about how Romano deals with his heartbroken boyfriend.

7) Project Bastard by LogicalDreamer -  Romano is conducting a study. Or maybe not so much a study as a critical review, or maybe just some nice memories he can talk about when that ring comes into play.

Who doesn’t love a Spamano Artist AU set in Rome?

8) Please Don’t Cry by Lady-Pyrien -  Antonio has a knack for making the other kids smile when they are upset. His mother always did say he had a ‘fectious smile. However, when he meets Lovino, a child who won’t stop crying on his first day of school, what is Antonio to do? Should he give up?

There’s nothing to say except that I love every single thing about this fic. The Spamano is adorable and the young characters are the cutest things ever. 

9) Tomato Poetry by JokertheMatrix -  Gakuen AU. Lovino and his brothers have moved into town, and a certain Spanish teen has made it his life mission to befriend this troubled Italian through the use of tomato poetry. Rated T for Lovino’s swearing and other sorts of language from others, although it’s mildly used.

This fic is probably one of the best High School AUs I’ve ever read, it’s as simple as that.

7) Tocar by superhoarding -  It’s almost 4 am, freezing cold outside and something is bothering Spain.

This oneshot is really interesting. I love the role-reversal when it’s Spain that needs taking care of, but I love Lovino’s take on it here. It’s vague, but in a pleasing way, and the whole story has this quiet, secretive, midnight-ish kind of feeling that I really enjoyed.

8) You Can Bet It’s Love by ShippingEverything -  In which no one understands how Romano and Spain aren’t dating, and America wants to make some money.

This is a delightfully funny spamano oneshot where everyone’s betting on Spamano. I really like how many countries get involved. It’s an easy read for when you’re feeling stressed and you just want some spamano perfection.

9) Surrender by ChampagneSly -  In the midst of the Spanish Civil War, Romano makes his way to Spain’s door to make amends.

This fic is really…melancholy. And heavy, of course. But it’s realistic, which is what I love in a story set in historical times. 

10) Hold Me Close While I Fall Apart by TheAlmightyMochaLatte - Romano goes over to his old boss Spain’s home, just to check on him, what ends up happening -is a surprise. No, they don’t … “do it”, you nasties. Trigger warning for self harm(also a spoiler alert)

As the description says, this fic contains dark themes such as self-harm, but is ultimately a beautiful fic about finding acceptance. Told in sixteen short chapters, the fic’s style gives each scene incredible intensity. 

11)  Two Ways About It by VIII of XIII -  In which Romano realizes that he does not know the proper way to accept a marriage proposal. Spain/Romano, some America/England and Greece/Japan

This is a very long two-shot, but it’s punchy and extremely funny. I particularly enjoyed how Romano and Spain were portrayed. 

12) How to Read for Dummies by Cutthroat Pixie -  Spain/Romano, plus Prussia and France!: The Bad Friends Trio teach Romano to read using their own patented method.

Some might say that this is actually more of a BTT story than a Spamano fic, but I think it’s a bit of both. I loved the concept, and its execution. I was giggling the whole way. 

13) Terra Rossa by Idlesana -  Romano has an artistic vision and Spain provides the color. -He shouldn’t have followed the red stains into the bathroom…

This is a very intense oneshot. I guess it has several interpretations, and I find it terribly sad, but I also think it’s vivid and glorious. Each time I read it, I fall in love with it some more. 

14) Door to Door by Canadino -  Do not open the door. It could be a zombie, an unwanted boyfriend of your brother’s, or a persistant salesman by the name Antonio Carriedo. Spain/Romano, implied Germany/Italy, AU.

Canadino is such a good writer, and I think this AU really suits spamano for some reason. 

15) Falling by Frostwhisker -  Antonio always comes up with the stupidest ideas. But sometimes, the suffering his brainless schemes can cause is worth it in the end. AU Spamano. Fluff

Just tooth-rotting Spamano fluff and left me grinning. I’ve read this multiple times because it just cheers me up so much. 

16) The Poison Dance by Scarabsi -  In which, to Romano’s dismay, Spain discovers the Delicious Tomato song and listens to it. Rated for bad language and references to organized crime.

This is probably one of the most interesting Spamano fics I’ve read. Initially, I’d expected it to be funny, but it’s not. This fic is more like a study of their relationship, and of Romano in particular, and the whole thing is just tackled so gracefully. There are some references I don’t really get, but I don’t think it makes a difference, because this fic remains powerful regardless. It actually inspired my fic Lentamente. For the concept and its execution, I feel like The Poison Dance is an extremely under-appreciated fic, which is a real shame because it’s probably one of the better Spamano oneshots out there. 

 17)  Chocolate Kisses and White Board Markers by LionAmongTheSheep -  Antonio works at a sweets shop at Disney, making taffy and other random assortments with his coworker Francis. His shop and the chocolate shop next door are only separated by a large glass wall, and one day he sees a beautiful man who he communicates with using said wall.

Tooth-rotting fluff, as you can imagine.

18) How to care for your Spaniard by  IggyThePunyTweeling97 -  Romano has written a journal which contains all his observations revolving around keeping his Spaniard alive.

I see this as a snapshot, or perhaps a short insight into how their relationship works. It left me smiling all throughout. I basically live to see caring!Lovino (I cannot tell you how SICK the conventional “Damaged Lovi needs love and Spain saves the day” crap makes me), so seeing their relationship from Romano’s point of view is a great way to see him reciprocate in the relationship. 

19)  Desaparecido by Happymood -  When Spain goes missing one day, Romano set his mind on finding him, discovering a lot of things along the way. Spamano. Plus other minus pairings.

This was probably one of the first Spamano fics I’d ever read, and it left me feeling quite sad. It has a happy ending, sort of, but still. But the fic is beautiful, of course, and it’s not something you can just leave half way. 

20)  Dolce Propuestas by OwlinAMinor -  If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. And then again. And again. Spamano.

This super cute oneshot is nothing but pure fluff, a story about how they propose to each other. 

-

I hope you enjoyed these fics! I may put up another rec list, probably of another pairing or character. I think the beauty about Hetalia is that there is a lot that fans can explore, from AUs to pairings to friendships and family bonds, and there are thousands of wonderful writers out there who are eager to delve into these aspects. 

Anyway, see you next time! 

Jesus Appears to His Disciples

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

Jesus Appears to Thomas

Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

forgive me father, for i have sinned -
you haven’t, not yet, 
but you can feel it under your skin
and in your fists, just itching to be let out, and - 
forgive me, father,
you say again, only this time
you’re not in church, you're 
kneeling on a bloody, cold floor and
it’s all you can say,
over and over again,
forgive me forgive me forgive me,
like a prayer whispered in time
with the beating of your heart
and the sound of knuckles
meeting bone.
—  for the boy with the devil in him | m.c.p
Forgive me father
For I have sinned
I met the devil on my shoulder
Then I let him in
When no one could save me
He said he’d defend me
And with no sign from above
Could you fucking blame me
I’m fighting myself
I’m going crazy again
I’m just so damn tired of your voice in my head
—  Secrets, in “Learn To Love”

forgive me, father
for I have sinned.

forgive me, father
for I will sin again.

forgive me, father
for these eyes that love the shadows more than the sun
for these eyes that long to see a star or two or million crumble from the sky
in the hopes that maybe in the void they leave behind
I will find a home again

forgive me, father
for these hands that do not know how to hold something precious
     without shattering it to dust in my wrought iron fingers
     without burning it to ashes in my hellfire veins
     without shredding it to bleed out on my serrated-edge nails
     without strangling the life out of its trembling core
in the hopes that maybe in the pieces of the aftermath
I will find myself again

forgive me, father
for this heart that only knows how to beat on stolen blood
for these lips that have forgotten how to smile
for these bones that should be under a fading headstone 

forgive me, father
forgive me, father
forgive me
     forgive me
          forgive me
(so that maybe I can learn to forgive myself)

—  father? are you still listening? ( j.p. )

holy father, goddess supreme, this woman I love
let me hold onto her for a little bit longer.
just a little bit longer.


There is madness within me:
my ma calls it the devil.
Child, the devil resides in your bones, she says as she drags me to the sheikh;


she tastes like blood in my mouth.
I’ve touched all of her,
she holds onto my neck while she mouths things I am not meant to know against my cunt;
they always seem like prayers to me.
and as her eyes meet mine, I think,
I’ve found heaven in the midst of hell.


The sheikh looks like Jesus Christ:

forgive me, father, for I have sinned,

He shakes the devil out of me and he asks me to swear on the Holy Quran to never give into the hunger again.
I place my hands on the holy book and I swear-

why is it that the world is full of sinners,
but religion demands nothing short of excellence from us

worship me, she says, I’ll take you and all your ugliness and I’ll devour you whole.
I scream.
later, she will tell me that all of the heavens shook with the force of my rejection
and she will laugh and laugh.


I could not do it.
My ma is ashen behind me and the sheikh is shaking his head.
I could not do it.

born of dust and water,
filthy mud I have become.

My mother is a weeping mess at home.
She rages against my chest and I know she is crying for me.
Oh, child, what have you done? What have you done?
She says over and over again.

She does not pray for me ever again.
No amount of praying will save a soul that does not want to be saved, she knows that better than anyone else.
I just wish, I never needed saving from this.

she is half moons when she wakes,
full moons when she stares at me,
and darkness when she is in bed.

I think the worst thing god has done to me
is create her a separate entity from me.
when she hovers over me, pale as the moon, I want to lay claim to her, own her the way humans were never meant to own other humans.
when I tell her this, she laughs and says that it’s a good thing we are not humans then.


The sheikh tells me that I will never walk through the gates of heaven.
I am not surprised, of course I am not, I have always known that heaven had no place for someone like me;
the only difference now is that I have made my peace with it.


she offers me her body like sacrificial lambs, splays herself over me and I feast my eyes upon her.
she screams God’s name like an expletive when my fingers find their way into her body -
I have an urge to rip her apart that way.

the sheikh shook the devil out of me, but I still hungered for her

what does that make me

—  oscarsins
Elyza never thought she'd find herself back in the closet (at least not with Alicia)

The low groans emitted from the walker in the hallway were getting nearer by the second. Through the slits in the closet door, Elyza could just make out the rotting torso of the creature as it shuffled aimlessly through the dark house. “You know, I never thought I’d find myself back in the closet” she smirked, turning back to face the other girl, who was tucked beside her against the shelves. Alicia promptly rolled her eyes and turned her attention away from the smug blonde, determined not to get caught up in her stare. Unfortunately, the longer the walker stumbled around in front of their hiding place, the more difficult it became to not recoil from the stench that seeped through the slits in the door. The odour built immensely and overwhelmed their hiding place as the decomposing woman passed by, growling hungrily. Alicia quickly settled her hand over her mouth and nose, attempting to block out the smell. Seconds later, the blonde also gave in and grasped the fabric of her tattered grey v-neck, lifting it up to mask her face. Slightly startled by the movement, the brunette turned to face her companion. A moment later, her jaw dropped open. She couldn’t stop herself from taking in the sight of the blonde’s exposed abdomen, the edges of an intricate tattoo falling into view. Her eyes trailed up from where the woman’s jeans hugged her hips to the hem of her v-neck, which was now dangling just below her bra. A shiver suddenly raced down her spine as green met blue. Elyza was staring right through her, eyebrow quirked. The brunette froze, unable to speak. “Something wrong, sweetheart?” Elyza’s accented voice dripped through the material of her shirt. There was no attempt to move, both girls were rooted in place by the thick cloud of tension encompassing them. The closet was suddenly much too small for Alicia’s liking. She ripped her eyes away from the blonde’s, turning instead to search desperately for any sign of the walker. There was none. Deeming that it was safe to leave, Alicia reached for the handle to escape from their cramped hiding spot. However, another hand immediately shot out and halted her movement. “Wait”. She did not look at the blonde, keeping her line of sight set on the fingers that were burning into the skin around her wrist. “Let me check if it’s safe, gorgeous. I’m not the only one here who wants a taste of youthe woman released her hold on the girl and latched onto the door handle, wedging it open before sliding out into the dim hallway. Alicia gaped after her retreating figure, her face growing hot under the other girl’s words. She was straight. She had a boyfriend. A wave of fresh air found its way into Alicia’s lungs as she remembered how to breathe, unconsciously grazing her fingers across her own wrist. The blonde reappeared a moment later and gave her a wink. That was all it took before Alicia was pushing past the other woman, striding down the hallway as quickly as possible. Elyza couldn’t help but shake her head, a small chuckle falling from her lips. She’s not ready. Not yet.