forget it you're not getting your present

Birthday/Holiday Starter Sentences
  • Could be used for other holidays or parties, just switch out the 'birthday' mentions with said holiday!:
  • "Happy Birthday!"
  • "Surprise!"
  • "This calls for a celebration!"
  • "Today is your day, enjoy it."
  • "Just another year closer to death."
  • "You're getting old!"
  • "No matter how many of these you have, you're still gonna be a baby to me."
  • "We/I invited everyone!"
  • "No no no, you are not going into work, not today!"
  • "Come on, I have something special planned for us today."
  • "Come on, you have got to let me put frosting on your nose, it's tradition."
  • "Whoa, there's cake all over you--let's get you cleaned up!"
  • "I got you a present."
  • "You got me a present?"
  • "It's a surprise, you have to close your eyes!"
  • "Are you legal now?"
  • "Here, a drink to the big [age here]!"
  • "You're going to have a night you'll never forget!"
  • "It's nothing, really."
  • "Do you like it?"
  • "I could get you something else if you don't like it."
  • "So what do you want me to get you for your birthday?"
  • "This is the best birthday ever."
  • "This is the worst birthday ever."
  • "It can't be worse than last years, right?"
  • "So how old are you now?"
  • "We're definitely going to have to celebrate in private later."
  • 707 (in chat): Listen👂🏻up you merry🎄thots it's almost time🕒for the 1️⃣2️⃣ nights🌚 of DICKmas🌽🎁 send this to2️⃣0️⃣ of your sluttiest elf bitches👶🏼💋 if you get 0️⃣ 🔙 you're an abominable snowbitch ⛄️ if you get 5️⃣ 🔙 you're a sexy snow slut 👄🌬 if you get 1️⃣0️⃣ 🔙 you'll get 1️⃣2️⃣ drummers cumming💦💦💦 1️⃣1️⃣ pussies popping👅👀 1️⃣0️⃣ thots a'twerking 👠 9️⃣ booties bouncing🍑 8️⃣maids a'milking 💦your dick🍆 7️⃣🌬sluts a'sucking🌬 6️⃣sloppy💦 sleigh rides👌👈5️⃣ 💥golden cocks🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌💥 4️⃣ fannys flapping👑 3️⃣ French hoes 👙2️⃣ titty fucks ( . )🍆( . ) and Santa goin' ⬇️down⬇️ on your 🙀pussy 🎅🏿👅 If you don't forward⏭this your 😿pussy🙀 will shrivel up like Ebenezer Scrooge 👴🏼😭 and you'll be haunted by the hoes💁🏿💁🏽💁🏻of DICKmass past 👻💦😩 🍌 for 6️⃣9️⃣ days😖 so don't forget to to wrap up your "present" 😏🎁 and stay on the naughty list 📜🖊😜
  • MC: *calls Jumin* Uh hi... What's your lawyer's number? Mhm... Cool. Oh nothing, I just need a divorce.
Spirited Away: Sentence Starters
  • "You don't remember your name?"
  • "What's going on here?"
  • "Something you wouldn't recognize. It's called love."
  • "I just remembered something from a long time ago, I think it may help you."
  • "A river spirit?"
  • "My name is __________."
  • "That must be why I can't find my way home."
  • "I remember you falling into the river."
  • "I remember your little pink shoe."
  • "So, you're the one who carried me back to shallow water."
  • "You saved me."
  • "I knew you were good!"
  • "Once you do something, you never forget. Even if you can't remember."
  • "Your body matches your brain."
  • "I finally get a bouquet and it's a goodbye present. That's depressing."
  • "Don't take that food!"
  • "We're gonna get in trouble!"
  • "He's got credit cards and cash!"
  • "Try to remember as much as you can about your old life."
  • "I thought I never met him before!"
  • "Oh, that's a wonderful place to start!"
  • "Once you meet someone, you never really forget them."
  • "I promise I'll be back."
  • "You can't die."
  • "Don't worry, I've got four-wheel drive."
  • "I just want you to know my real name!"
  • "What a pretty name!"
  • "Be sure to take good care of it!"
  • "A new home and a new school? It is a bit scary."
  • "I think I can handle it."
  • "We're identical twins and exact opposites."
  • "You're the one everyone's been looking for!"
  • "She's my granddaughter."
  • "There must be some mistake!"
  • "I followed her voice and woke up lying here."
  • "I'm sorry I called you a dope before... I take it back!"
  • "I'm sorry my sister turned you parents into pigs."
  • "It's just the way things are."
  • "Can't you please give me more help than that?"
  • "Are you emotionally tramautized?"
  • "I'm hungry!"
  • "Why don't you wake everyone up!"
  • "What an esophagus!"
  • "Those are shrines. Some people believe spirits live in them."
  • "Don't be afraid, I just wanna help you."
  • "Open your mouth and eat this."
  • "If you don't eat food from this world, you'll disappear."
  • "It's made from the threads your friends wove together."
  • "Try this. It's delicious."
  • "Want some gold? I'm not giving it to anybody else!"
  • "What would you like? Just name it."
  • "You should go back to where you came from."
  • "Don't you have any friends or family?"
  • "What is it that you want?"
  • "Are you going to eat me?"
  • "What did you do to me?"
  • "Welcome the rich man, he's hard for you to miss."
  • "His butt keeps getting bigger, so there's plenty there to kiss!"
  • "It's gonna stink."
  • "It doesn't look so bad."
  • "I'm see-through!"
  • "You better get here before I forget what my parents look like."
  • "I hope my dad hasn't gotten too fat."
  • "What did you do with my baby?"
  • "Aren't you even going to knock?"
  • "You're the most pathetic little girl I've ever seen."
  • "Stay right where you are, I'm coming to get you!"
  • "I won't let him hurt you."
  • "I think he needs help!"
  • "You smell like a human!"
  • "Roasted newt!"
  • "You want to lose your nose?"
  • "Oh, paper cut!"
Christmas Morning #1
  • Niall: You wake up to the sound of a loud crash. You look at the clock *4:30 a.m*. "What the hell is that boy up to?" You say to yourself as you walk into the living room.Nialls tangled in tinsel and Christmas lights while trying to balance a tree in the corner of your living room "what's going on babe?" He turns around quickly "Y/N!", obviously startled by you and forgetting to hold on to the tree it falls over landing on top of him and knocking him over. You giggle and lay next to him on the floor and kissing his forehead. "I was trying to make it just like the pictures you showed was supposed to be a surprise. I ruined i..." You kiss him mid sentence "It's perfect Ni. I love you. Let's get this tree off you now." You both stand up and set tree in the corner and spend the rest of the morning cuddled on the couch watching Christmas movies and eating cookies that you had set out the night before. You thought to yourself "Best Christmas Ever."
  • Liam: You told liam that you didn't want anything for Christmas and you meant it, you were just happy that you finally got to spend some time alone together. You woke up and could smell something delicious when you realized that Liam wasn't next to you. You slipped on your slippers and ran to the kitchen. You expect breakfast but instead it was what looked like a buffet. Every single one of your favorite foods all over the place, it was a delicious mess. "Y/n! Good morning love." He turned around from the stove for a split second to give you a kiss on the forehead and then back to cooking. "Liam, what is all this? I told you that you didn't have to get me anything.." He smiled "I know, but I love you y/n. I want you to remember our first Christmas together so we can tell our kids someday. Now go sit down and I'll bring everything to you!" You went and sat on the couch and couldn't help but just smile and laugh at your adorable boyfriend trying to carry a million plates at once. He's a keeper.
  • Zayn: "y/ up, I have a suprise." You open your eyes to a smiling zayn laying on top of you and he is obviously giddy about something. "Come on! It's in the living room! Come on, come on, come on!" He's pulling you out of bed and not giving you anytime to adjust and wake up but you love to see him so excited so you get out of bed and follow him down the hall to the living room where you see your present. "Zayn..It''s beautiful." It's a painting, not any painting but a painting of you and him on the beach where you had first meet. "Do you really like it? If you don't I can get you something else, you just had said th.." You kissed "I love it more than you could imagine. This is the best gift you could have possible got me. I love you so much." You had told zayn months ago that you love when he paints and that you wished he would paint something happier. You thought he had forgot but apparently not. This kid knows you to well.
  • Louis: You woke especially early today, you love Christmas more than any other day and couldn't wait for the day to begin. "Lou! Louis! Lewis! Looouuuiiisss! It's Christmas! Get up!" You were sitting next to him on the bed bouncing up and down trying to get him out of bed. "What? Y/n it's to more hour love." You began pulling his arms and messing with him "nooope! Come on cutie, it's only one day a year." He smirked and began getting out of bed. You stood at the bedroom door waiting for him so that you could go out at the same time and you could see his face when he saw his presents. You finally got him to come out of the room and as you walked down the hallway something was wrong, you couldn't see his presents anymore, you turned the corner and you stopped dead in your tracks. At first you were upset thinking all the presents had been stolen and then you saw on the wall there was a piece of paper and wrote on it was "Dear y/n, I know how much you love Christmas and so I wanted to make this one special, one you would never forget. You are the only person I need in my life, you're like a present I get everyday. So turn around so I can ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. Love, Louis." You turn around there he is on one knee with a ring in his hand. Let's just say, it wasn't a hard decision.
  • Harry: This is your first Christmas away from your family and your first one living in your new apartment with Harry. You were happy but something felt like it was missing. Living in England was great but you missed your family more than anything plus harry isn't home all the time due to the tour. You woke up and harry wasn't in the room, you looked around and found a beautiful dress,shoes, jewelry, and a note that told you to get ready to go. You did as it said thinking even though your family wasn't there you were still glad you had an amazing thoughtful boyfriend. You got ready and began to walk out of the room when harry grabbed you and covered your eyes right away, you laughed "what going on kid, you're going to mess up my makeup! Haha" he didn't say much and walked you to what you felt like was the living room. He uncovered your eyes and you immediately began to cry, he brought your family and your best friend all the way to England. "Harry.. I don't know how to thank're the best boyfriend in the world." " I know how much you missed them and I know you said it was fine but I could tell this is what you really wanted y/n. I love you." You hugged everyone and then hugged harry and cried for a bit. You had the best Christmas and knew you would be having more with the same people for the rest of your life.
  • P.s. This was my first try so I'm sorry if it's not very good. If you have any you would like me to do for you I would more than love to! I also will do specially made preferences. Thanks for reading(:

ardenkai  asked:

Ok Jugband got another one if you want..."Enamor Me" it can be about Valentine's Day. I won't bother you again. 🙊😊

Ah Ardenkai, I suck at romantic scenarios. I am THAT person who you would not want as your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Seriously. 

It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, as you are promptly reminded by a lovesick Chloe, and you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of ‘Do I get my girlfriend a gift?’. You’re sure Holly isn’t going to feel bad even if you do completely disregard the whole occasion and spent it watching reruns while eating take-out, but you decide that your girlfriend most certainly deserves something. At the end, you decide to not go over the top with the ‘romance’ theme, and decide to get her a gift.

Now you’re stuck in the next cycle of what to get your girlfriend. And you have no one left to ask for gift advice other than Chloe and Traci. The two of them agree that you should get Holly something she wouldn’t buy for herself, normally. And you have no idea what that is. Your girlfriend has everything she could possibly want - and you’re back to square one - wondering if the occasion needs to be celebrated at all.

After hours of roaming around scores of stores, and deciding against the giant stuffed bear, you decide on a gift. You have no idea if your girlfriend will like it or not - but it’s certainly something you know Holly would never get for herself.

It’s pretty late by the time you get home, and your girlfriend is already asleep in bed when you find her. Seeing that it’s only ten minutes till midnight, you let her sleep till you wake her. You know you’re it’s supposed to be a mushy, romantic event - but you don’t want all that. You know Holly loves you - she knows you love her. That should do. You don’t want to actually succumb to tradition here, at the same time - you know if anyone you’ve dated deserved a special day - it’s Holly. So, at midnight you give her a kiss on the cheek and wake her up. She grins that sleepy smile at you, and you can feel yourself turning to mush. Except now you’re even more worried if she’d like the gift.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day, Lunchbox.’ you smile, giving her a hard, passionate kiss as she sits up.

'Happy Valentine’s Day.’ she whispers back in your ear, and you love it when she does that. Gathering all your courage, you bring the little gift-wrapped box to her notice.

'I hope you like it.’ you say back, already wishing you hadn’t given it to her.

She’s genuinely surprised as you hand her the gift, and a part of you truly hopes she likes it. You wait with bated breath as Holly slowly opens the box, forgetting how anxious it can be when someone opens a gift you’ve given them. Holly gasps in surprise as she sees the gift, and you’re already apologizing.

'I’m sorry if you don’t like it I’ll take it -’ you don’t really finish that sentence as Holly’s kissing you again, and you finally decide you’ve done well.

'Shut up Gail, I LOVE it!’ Holly exclaims, taking the watch out of the box and wearing it, grinning like an excited kid. It’s a silver one, with an engraved strap. You can’t help but join in her joy, feeling elated at having gotten your girlfriend a gift she liked.

'You do?’

'I do. Thank you.’ she says with a smile and starts kissing you again, wiring you up for a long, passionate night.

The next morning, you wake up with a silly smile on your face, with your girlfriend in your arms. She’s still wearing the watch; she wore it all night, though she wasn’t quite dressed in any other way. You’re smiling as you see her sleeping face till a thought strikes you.

Where’s my gift?

Immediately you’re wondering if Holly got you a present, and you’re excited. Of course she got you a gift. She’s the best ever. In a few minutes Holly wakes up and gives you a little kiss before getting up to get ready for the day. It may be Valentine’s Day, but you both have still got to work.

You’re ready downstairs shoving toast in your mouth when Holly comes down for her cup of coffee.

'Did you get me anything?’ you ask, and you immediately bite your tongue at that. You’re not supposed to ask for gifts. You’re supposed to receive them.

Holly turns around to look at you in surprise, and your hopes sink a little.

’ I didn’t know you wanted a gift.’ she replies and your hopes are dashed. You had been hoping against hope that you’d get a gift, but there’s no chance of that at all. You’re sure you face gives away your disappointment because the next minute she’s holding your hand and sitting next to you.

'I’m sorry Gail, I thought you didn’t like occasions like Valentine’s Day.’

You decide it’s time to get your Ice Queen mask back in order, and you brush it all off as random curiosity. You finish eating and get ready to leave and almost rush out of the house before Holly can do anything more. She’s barely given you a kiss good bye before you’re half out the door, running off to work.

You spend the whole day cranky, and the others assume it’s just you being the cold, heartless person you normally are. Internally, you’re going over the million reasons why Holly didn’t get you anything. Perhaps you’re not a good enough girlfriend, you aren’t girlfriend material etc etc. By the time your shift ends, you’re maxed out on crankiness and sarcasm. You resolve to show your girlfriend that you’re pissed with her by going straight to bed. You reach home and climb upstairs to the bedroom and are about to throw yourself on the bed when you notice a package on the bed.

It isn’t gift-wrapped or anything, and being the curious cat you are, you tear open the box and exclaim in surprise.

It’s a brand new PSP - and when you switch it on - you can see it’s already preloaded with all your favorite games. Games which aren’t even PSP compatible.

'Did you really think I’d not get you anything?’ you can hear Holly’s voice from the bathroom, and you’re kicking yourself for even thinking that your girlfriend would forget you.

'How did you get Mortal Kombat vs D.C Universe on this thing!’ you exclaim in glee, already loading a game to play. Damn this is the best present ever.

'I know a friend who rewrites games for different interfaces. ‘Holly replies and you realize she probably gave way more thought to this gift than you did.

You’re half way through killing Sub-Zero when you hear Holly stepping into the room.

'You can play with that - Or’ you glance up to see Holly dressed in some very lacy red lingerie and your throat goes dry. Screw the game. You throw the PSP aside as Holly walks into the room, as seductive as ever.

'Happy Valentine’s Day, Gail.’

Happy Valentine’s Day to me indeed.

You're an inspiration

I feel like there’s so much negative controversy surrounding you and your views that sometimes people forget the true meaning of your channel due to the incoherent babble and gossip. I truly admire the way you present yourself and the way you are always educated on the topics you discuss. It has motivated me to get out there and become more educated on the world around me and the controversial topics that many choose to avoid. Although, based on what you’ve said in your videos, you and I share many of the same views, that is not why I look up to you. I look up to you because you are a strong and independent human being who will stop at nothing to defend your opinions, and you don’t let the negative energy of others bring you down. Keep up the amazing work! I can’t wait to see what the next video will be.