forever repeating in my head


if i could break this spell
i’d run to him today
and somehow i know he’s on his way to me
                         killian, you and i were meant to be


Otherwise known as staring out the window and waiting for inspiration whilst simultaneously distracting myself with anything non-writing related in the hope that the next line comes to me.  Which it inevitably does as soon as I don’t have a pen or my phone to make notes on and the line is lost forever, no matter how much I repeat it over and over in my head until I can write it down.

For those who have to pretend to enjoy this "holiday"

You are not alone.

When you try as you might to no avail.

If you only become more disappointed.

Even if you stand there awkwardly just to hand over a card.

To me, that is still acknowledging the fact that you are possibly either desperate for their approval and being an even better person than the person receiving your cards.

Be well. Be you. Love yourself.

Appreciate that you try and are human.

You are great, admirable, and never alone.

Every year I get passed these horrible people on their supposed loving days.

You can too.

Both my parents are abusers. I am the child. They don’t put their time for me. They barely acknowledge my existence.

Don’t be angry or upset at yourselves for their mistreatment. You never deserve it. I still tell myself that every time with their every word and action.

Be strong. Be brave. Self-love!

With Father’s Day tomorrow, his words forever repeat in my head, “I don’t like you, but I have to love you.”

That honestly is forever repeated.