“Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.” - Tyron Edwards
Most of you have caught wind of accusations swarming this blog to be one in the same of gohliad’s. If you assumed that, you would be 100% right.
I’m doing what should have been done instead of this chance for a fresh start fostered by alternate persona and ridiculous lies. I know it was wrong to put on a new face, and pretend to be someone else and run away like I have always done before, because that was always the easiest thing to do for me. I made this account out of fear, because I thought maybe no matter what I did that the community wouldn’t accept me no matter how much I’ve changed or am trying to… but that is just me again, being fearful, and not owning up to the things that have happened over the past couple years. That’s me being scared, and ashamed and embarrassed. Whether or not people accept me, or want to associate with me going forward is their right, and because of what has happened, I accept and understand that.
I’ve affected this community as a whole, and hurt people. I rejected the idea that what I do can influence other people, I neglected to take care of my mental health, I declined opportunities to correct my own behavior and make right with people and I even refused to take apologies from other people. Often I couldn’t even comprehend how others were affected by my aggressive ass and hostile behavior, because in my world “stuff on the internet didn’t matter” but that just isn’t true. We are all humans behind our avatars and screenshots. I was just so big headed I refused to accept that I wasn’t the only actual person behind a screen with a life and feelings. Over the past few months I’ve been lurking around, seeing what others said and all I’ve thought about is this community and how I put a giant nuclear dent in it, and it’s people. How some people are just upright scared of me, like I’m a ticking time bomb, and I don’t want anyone to feel that way. No one deserves to feel unsafe in the simblr community, and it sucks it took me feeling that way on my own to realize that. It took me several months of no social media, and a lot of behavioral therapy to understand that my actions matter, everything I do matters. I can’t act the way I have in the past, not on simblr, not in real life, not to anyone.
Nothing I say can change anything that has already been done because no matter what I say now, people have been hurt, and that never goes away. People I was close friends to, who are now enemies. People I don’t even know, too. I’ve deserved pretty much everything that has came to me so far, the burnbooks, the simsecrets, the bigger simblrs hating me, as well as the little ones, anonymous hate mail. Even when I didn’t deserve it, I never responded correctly, I never responded like someone who cared about anyone except my self. I’m sorry for literally everything, to anyone I’ve offended or hurt. I wish I could apologize to everyone individually, but I don’t want to trigger anyone because I know some people will be willing to turn a new leaf with me, and others will completely reject the notion. Either or, you have that right to feel that way, and I take full responsibility for any animosity you have towards me. If there is something I can do for you, if I’ve hurt you, or even if i haven’t, please let me know. And I will do my damn best to do it. You can take my word for it, or not but I am so healthy right now, and from here on out, I’m only going to do good for everyone around me. I want to bring you decent custom content, help you out with stuff (personal or creation) and be there for everyone the way everyone has been there for me.
I don’t want to let my friends down, I don’t want to let me down, and I don’t want to let simblr down, not ever again.
This is a very spontaneous, uninspired follow forever! Today, February 1st,
is my blog’s third birthday and initially, I didn’t want to do a follow forever
or anything but then thought why not!!
The reason why I decided to make this is to
tell you guys how much I missed you and how much I missed this place. As you
might have noticed, I haven’t been very active since last year and the main
reason why is collage and my hell of a life. It was like nothing but a curse
throughout 2016 and it still is! I am trying to remain strong and positive but
I think my activity will keep on declining. I honestly have no motivation to edit or to
colour anymore. I have zero creativity and I always feel so uninspired and unwilling to do anything for this blog anymore!! I believe these feelings are not a joke this
time. However, I am not willing to shut down this blog so please don’t interpret this as
a goodbye message; I just wanted to say that I don’t know if I will be here another
year or not!!
With that being said, I would like to thank every and each
person who ever interacted with me, who hit the follow button on my blog for
any reason, whoever put lovely tags on my edits, whoever said they liked my
manga colourings, whoever considered me a friend, whoever included me in their
follow forever, whoever dedicated a photoset to me, whoever made me think of my
stay at tumblr a joyful experience. I love you all from the depth of my heart