forever bitter about the movies

Let’s be really real this morning before 7 am: if The Get Down was about the (white) history of Rock n Roll in the 70’s and starred white teens, a lot more people would’ve been like “OH THIS IS SO COOL, MUSIC HISTORY” and Netflix would’ve marketed it differently. Tumblr would’ve lost its mind if Dizzee Kipling was a white kid who thinks he’s an alien who is in love with white Thor. Mylene and the Soul Madonnas being an all-girl rock band would’ve been a huge draw. Merch would’ve been everywhere. Coming of age for a moody poet and his reckless and troubled friend trying to make it big with the music they love? They would’ve eaten it up.

This tea isn’t even piping.

Fairy Tale Themed Book Recs

In honor of Isaac writing a fractured fairy tale novel (one of my favorite genres) I wanted to recommend some books with similar(ish) premises (for the most part these keep the heroes as heroes).

1. Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas (plus several sequels)

What if Cinderella was an assassin?

2. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

I’ve only just started reading this, but so far, Beauty and the Beast, if Belle had to go with the Beast because she killed a friend of his while hunting instead of her dad picking a rose.

3. Enchanted by Alethea Kontis (plus 2 sequels)

Name a fairy tale, any fairy tale. It’s in here somewhere.

4. Kill Me Softly by Sarah Cross (plus short stories and sequel)

Sort of like Storybrooke post curse break, but not all the fairy tales have happened yet. People know from markings on their body what tale they are destined to live out, and they aren’t always happy about it.

5. Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George (plus 2 sequels)

You know what we need more of in fairy tales? Knitting. I’m dead serious about this and I will fight you if you disagree.

6. Briar Rose by Jane Yolen

You know what the story of Sleeping Beauty was missing? The Holocaust.

7. The Frog Princess by E.D. Baker (plus sequels and prequels)

Forever bitter about that fact that I will never get a proper movie adaptation of this book because Disney paid to say that The Princess and the Frog was based on this book even though literally the only thing they have in common is the girl turning into a frog after kissing the frog prince. Not that it wasn’t a good movie, it just wasn’t an adaptation of this book.

8. Atlantia by Ally Condie

Very loosely based on The Little Mermaid.

9. Impossible by Nancy Werlin (plus companion novel and sequel)

It’s based on Scarborough Fair which I had never heard of before this book. 

10. The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde (plus 1 sequel, with another announced)

More nursery rhymes than fairy tales, the line does blur a bit. The first book focuses on DI Jack Spratt solving the death of Humpty Dumpty, while book two looks at the death of Goldilocks. If book three ever comes out it will have something to do with the Tortoise and the Hare.

JQ’s Bonus Recs 

11.  The Sister’s Grimm Series by Michael Buckley 

I loved this series as a kid! It shares a lot of DNA with Once–fairy tale characters stuck in a town minus the memory loss. The main characters are sisters who are descendants of the Brother’s Grimm and get roped into being essentially fairy tale detectives. Tons of fun.

12. East by Edith Pattou

I always thought this was based on Beauty and the Beast but it’s actually based on a fairy tale called East of the Sun West of the Moon. Think BatB with a polar bear.

13. The Ever After Series by Shelby Bach

Like The Sister’s Grimm, this series skews a little young so maybe you want to get this for your younger relatives but I finally got around to reading the first one and it’s a fun series. Like a fairy tale Percy Jackson. In it, special kids are chosen to go to an after school program where they train to take part in a fairy tale quest one day (for example, every generation there’s a new Cinderella or Jack and the Beanstalk). It’s a really cool premise and the cover art is gorgeous. 

14. Rapunzel’s Revenge by Shannon Hale (plus 1 sequel)

Actually a graphic novel but it’s soooo good. Rapunzel set in a magical version of the wild west where she uses her hair as a lasso? Yes please. The sequel is super good too.

15. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

And I’m sure all of you guys have read this one but I couldn’t let this post go out without showing some love for possibly my favorite book of all time.

I also have to second FCC’s recs of Princess of the Midnight Ball and the Frog Princess series. Good stuff.