no but LISTEN lisTEN
suppose patroclus moves out. he finds the place on craigslist, a group of dudes looking for a roommate to share a double: $340/mo, utilities included, minus wifi. the deposit’s only first and last and pat’s got about nine hundred bucks saved. he meets up with the dudes, all fuckin’ like ten of them, and they like him well enough and he likes them well enough and he has a job starting in a couple days so they take his $680 and he moves in the same day.
well okay, mostly he kind of runs away. okay, not really but he definitely doesn’t tell his father about moving out until it’s over and all his shit is at his new place that’s like thirty minutes away. most of his shit.
so pat forgets to pack his bathroom stuff. whatever. there’s a cvs like two blocks from his new house. he probably should also buy like, food maybe.
he goes to cvs probably five times in the next week or so. pat’s absurdly glad it’s summer because he suddenly finds himself compelled to spend several hours a day deliberating toilet paper brands. softness is very important to him, okay? he likes his creature comforts.
also the guy who works the register is painfully, devastatingly, inhumanly attractive and pat really likes to look at him. he’s tall and blonde and so tan and his name tag says ‘ace’ and he chews a lot of gum and his forearms look so strong and his hands are so big. his voice is so sweet and clear, his teeth are white and a little crooked, and sometimes he looks at pat in a way that makes pat feel very, very warm.
pat’s roommates wonder why the house is suddenly full of extra paper goods, why they never run out of ziplock bags, and why they seem to have an endless supply of granola bars. they never get around to asking the quiet new guy why he keeps buying reusable cvs bags.
one day ace will say 'can i have your number?’ and pat will rattle it off because he thinks ace signed him up for a club card or whatever. when pat gets a text on the way home that says 'hi this is ace the cvs guy’ pat will realize he was wrong. he’ll say 'hey this is pat also a cvs guy’ and then want to kick himself in the shins until ace replies 'haha nice to meet you’ followed immediately by 'we should get coffee sometime.’
pat will say yes, of course. and when ace shows up at his house two days later in a navy blue button down and the tightest jeans pat has ever seen on a real human, pat will probably kiss him right there on the front porch. he’ll notice that he and ace are roughly the same height and he’ll probably blush through the whole thing, dark cheeks heating up where ace can feel them.
the important part is that ace will kiss him back.
hands will probably tangle in hair and butts will probably be touched. it will be the single greatest moment of patroclus’s young life and when they pull apart, ace will look a little dazed, like maybe he didn’t expect this, like maybe he never wants to stop either.
pat’s roommates will whistle and cheer from the front room, because they’re assholes like that.