ford standard

In addition to being thin, women (particularly in the west) are expected to maintain the illusion of hairlessness. Any sign that puberty might have bestowed upon us a spray of fuzz beneath our arms or a thatch of fur between our legs has to be eliminated immediately. Waxing, shaving, plucking, electrolysis - women have to fork out precious financial resources just to achieve what is then laughably passed off as a ‘natural’ state. For men and women similarly invested in maintaining patriarchal notions of gender performance, hair on women seems to be oddly terrifying. 

- Clementine Ford, Fight Like A Girl 

When the Ink Dries IV

Rated: Explicit

Notes:  Thank you again to the usual brilliant beta’ing suspects, @icedteainthebag, @h0ldthiscat and @gazeatscully.

If you haven’t read the previous parts, go here.


Chapter 9

The first time Mulder came close to telling Scully he loved her was not the night Stella told him to do so.  It was also not over a bouquet of flowers at a candlelit restaurant, the two of them smiling nervously at a wobbly table as a waiter placed a plastic pie slice under the leg.  It was not on a navy blue night beneath the stars, backs against the warm hood of a car, her gaze following his finger in awe as he pointed here and there.  It was not sitting side by side in a movie theater, her little hand reaching over to place pieces of popcorn on his tongue while he pretended to be annoyed that she wouldn’t let him hold the tub.  It was none of the times or places Mulder had been telling himself he was waiting for.  

Instead, it was in a standard-issue Ford Taurus the color of a curbside TV screen, seats that stunk of the four-month-old coffee spill that was still holding a grudge over its gruesome demise.  Mulder was driving under the influence of a splitting headache having lost a coin toss.  It was one of those days they’d come up so short, run in such perfect circles, that neither of them could face the finality of turning that key, pulling up that emergency brake.  

Of course, sometimes Scully’s mere presence, her sticky red lips and stiff-postured strut, was enough to make unromantic settings seem romantic.  After all, that’s how he’d fallen in love with her in the first place.  Freezer lockers in Alaska, rocks in the middle of monster-infested lakes, sometimes even his crusty basement office went pink and fuzzy late at night when she looked up at him a certain way.  This wasn’t like that either.

Yes, he’d almost gotten high on a single toke of her perfume when he leaned over her shoulder to study the gravesite earlier, but that cautiously applied dab had long faded.  And yes, he’d pretended this morning that the umbrella was narrower than he knew it to be just so he could hook his arm around her waist and iron the curve of it against him, but that drizzle had long since dried up.  By the end of the day, she was just his partner, someone who argued with him compulsively and who always had to pee and yet still never wanted to stop when he did, someone he’d have been happy to hand a bus pass had there been any buses to take.  

She slouched beside him performing a symphony of chap-lipped sighs as the radio station – the one she’d decided was her best and only hope about ten minutes ago –  failed her with its sorry static and decades-old songs, the stubborn soundtrack that belonged to every dark, lonely stretch of land he’d ever been to.  The last thing he expected, fifty miles from the nearest sign of civilization and twelve hours from the nearest decent mood, was to remember he loved her.

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1940 Ford Standard Coupe by Greg Gjerdingen
Via Flickr:
Minnesota Street Rod Association (MSRA) “BACK TO THE 50′s” 43nd Annual Car Show June 17-19, 2016 State Fairgrounds St. Paul, Minnesota Click here for more car pictures at my Flickr site.

Ford: (Does/says something rude and jerk-like)

Me: Oh my God Ford be nicer to your brother.

Ford: (Does/says something cute and nerdy)

Me: Haha, that’s cute but seriously be nicer to your brother.

Ford: (Hints at past trauma)

Me: Oh my God that’s so sad but you still need to be nicer to your brother.

Ford: (Exists)

Me: Be nicer to your brother. Apologize to your brother. Thank your brother for all he’s done for you, BE NICER TO HIM, I’LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR, I’LL BREAK DOWN YOUR FACE, STANFORD FILBRICK PINES YOU BE NICER TO YOUR BROTHER.

Learning Curve: A Gravity Falls One-shot

hey guys gals and non-binary pals im back at it again with another one-shot hope you enjoy and feel free to let me know what u think this along with all my other stuff will be on my AO3

Summary: After having returned from their adventures on the Stan O'War II, Ford goes looking for more while Stan catches up on some light reading.


Stan didn’t even bother looking up from last month’s edition of Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine, knowing that his brother had gone looking for trouble.

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Feminist writer Clementine Ford was banned from her own Facebook page for exposing her harassers 

Rather than ignore her harassers or allow them to silence her, Ford posted screen shots of abusive comments sent to her personal messages folder. Facebook responded by banning the author from her page for 30 days — because she was “violating Facebook’s community standards.”


So. If I were more organized, I would have sources cited. They’re not, and I apologize. But.

The discussion of Benedict Cumberbatch’s role in 12 Years a Slave, that of William Ford, needs to be addressed.

Since the movie was released last year, I’ve seen Ford described as “hapless” and “sympathetic” in reviews of the film. This is disturbing, and has led me to two conclusions.

First, that Benedict Cumberbatch has reached an apex of adoration in his career. He’s Sherlock, he’s Khan, he’s Smaug, he’s beloved. And I do think he seems like an absolute darling in real life. However. It would seem to me that he’s too distinctive as an actor - in the sense that fondness for his real world person has fogged perception of his character.

Second, William Ford is part of a nauseating array of figures partaking in dehumanizing of millions of people of color. Solomon Northup, in his twelve years, was also besieged by an overseer who tried to murder him, an explosively sadistic plantation owner, and that man’s poisonous wife.

In contrast, William Ford was not a sadist. We do not see him raping women or beating the people he enslaves. 


William Ford partakes of the same evil. He is not a good man. He is not hapless, he is not sympathetic. He is a flagrant hypocrite.

It has been observed by reviewers wiser than me, that Solomon Northup had good cause to paint Ford as a more sympathetic figure IN HIS ORIGINAL ACCOUNT. Northup’s life story was distributed among white abolitionists. It would be naive to think that because some people advocated for the end of the slave trade a century and a half ago, that they would not be considered racist by today’s standards. Ford acted as the “oh but there are such decent white people in the world” touchstone for Northup’s white readers. His book could not have served as such an effective tool if he alienated his target audience.

The historical record is up for discussion by more educated people. I want to examine the movie.

Steve McQueen made some very deliberate choices. Ford preaches to his family and the people he enslaves, all together. To lift them up. And when we are presented with a scene of his garden congregation, it isn’t peaceful. This is not a moment to say “oh, what a nice man, he just sort of fell into this human chattel stuff”.

Overlaying Ford’s sanctimonious lecture are the broken wails of Eliza, the woman Ford purchased with Solomon. Eliza, who was stolen south along with Solomon, and will never see her children again. This scene ought to break any human with a beating heart. William Ford is NOT sympathetic. The fact that he is not a violent sadist does not make him a good man. He is the face of the self-righteous South, believing he is blameless, just, in enslaving human beings because he doesn’t go out of his way to torture them. He is the face of every “good master” from a century of films. 

Eliza’s sobs for her lost children drown out his sermon. That’s the point. Maybe people think Ford is sympathetic because at times he is kind to Solomon. Ford is as “kind” as he needs to be to sleep at night. Solomon Northup was an intelligent man, a gifted man, an educated man, whose vast talents were then OWNED by Ford. Of course it was in his interest to be civil. 

Men are kind to well-trained dogs, too. 

I would only ask that as a thinking, feeling audience, we not allow any affection for Benedict Cumberbatch as a person to overshadow the putrid, rotten core of the character he depicts.


Sutton Reveals New Ford Mustang Tuning Packages

Renowned dealer Clive Sutton has revealed its Sutton Bespoke tuning program for the new right-hand drive Ford Mustang, transforming the standard model into a true muscle car with up to 700bhp. The program comprises a suite of packages that enhance the car’s performance, handling and styling.

While the focus with many American upgrade programs is on straight-line performance and quarter-mile times, Clive Sutton has carefully engineered its packages to appeal specifically to UK and European buyers. The upgraded suspension is a particular highlight, which delivers sharper on-the-limit handling without compromising comfort over broken road surfaces.

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sarah1281  asked:

How soon does Ford move into Fiddleford's sweet new mansion?

omg ok we were actually talking about this

We figure that the Stan twins probably come back to Gravity Falls every summer, just like the kids, so they can all live in the shack and do their Pines-fam stuff with Soos and Wendy. It’s probably pretty standard for Ford to go and visit McGucket and at first none of them question it bc like hey yeah they’re buds, makes sense

But then, one night Ford just doesn’t come home. The kids go off to bed figuring he’s just running late, but Stan waits up all night only mildly worried bc like he’s-with-McGucket-he’s-fine but also he’s-never-been-out-this-late-before and then, finally, at like 5am Stan hears Ford coming through the back door and he intercepts him and is about to go off when he notices Ford’s clothes are all in disarray and like his sweater is inside-out probably and he just silently exists, because now everything makes sense