forcing-myself

 trying to force myself Outside Of My Comfort Zone so in this doodle i tried to use only 1 color scheme and also tried to combine as many mediums as i could using what i had around me. it was really fun! i ended up using acrylic, copics, pen, colored pencil, watercolor, and collage 

anonymous asked:

Patreon Miletone 3 say ask-the-rest will update every other week, that mean 2 updates per month as long milestone 3 is active?

Yup, that’s correct! The updates won’t be as complex as AKS which is why I’ll be able to run two blogs at once. I debated for a long time whether to make ATR a Patreon thing, but since I haven’t updated it on my own in over a year, I figured putting it as a goal was a nice way to force myself back into updating it!

I’ve noticed that every time i get sick i go through a big period of self loathing. I’ve been sick a lot this year. The main way i try to combat my own self hate is to force myself to see my body from another perspective, to remind me I’m still ok and i am still capable of being beautiful even if i feel otherwise.

anonymous asked:

god i just remembered the way i came out to my mother and im still laughing. like i was searching for something in my closet and she was in my room. when i came out i said "look at me-finally coming out of the closet" bc i thought it'd be funny but i was kinda forced to explain myself but uh yeah

I love stories where people came out because they couldn’t resist making a pun :D

Soooo, today was my first session of therapy that I’ve had since like 2 years ago. And it was nice. Like I’m glad I went and it’s something I’m starting again, but I’m definitely feeling very triggered. I’ve been feeling very triggered all day. And now I’m trying not to cry at McDonalds but like…..fat girl aesthetic so???? I’m just very emotionally drained. I’ve been thinking about things I don’t usually think about and now that I’m forcing myself to deal with it, it’s just like

Originally posted by diaryofalarper

But it’ll be ok. I’ll be ok.

people think im “high functioning” or “mildly autistic” because i started forcing myself to hide most of my symptoms after finally figuring out WHY i was being bullied every single day of my life

I forced myself to go to physical therapy, to get out of bed, get dressed before that. I’m there now. I feel like I’m going to cry but I’m here at least. And I used to motivate myself to get through these things when it was bad like this with a food treat or something (a ‘get through this and you can have this’ sort of thing) but I with the diet I can’t do that. I don’t have any other ideas. A friend recommended maybe doing my nails but I’m so goddamned tired, I feel dead, moving is an effort. I feel weird asking, but does anyone have any ideas? :(

anonymous asked:

so is the toy freddy refsheet done and the freddy and foxy refsheet remakes if they are sent a wip okay plus im love your and your fnaf au art

No they aren’t dear. Please, I know you are curious, and I am very glad you are. I’m happy so many people are interrested in my AU <3

But asking me about three or four times isn’t necessary, okay?… I am sorry for the late in replying, now it is done Q///v///Q;

To my watchers/followers (taking the opportunity), I’m sorry… But I’m not at my best lately (I’m fine, no illness or anything please don’t worry <3 Just some moodswings and tiredness), and I’m not forcing myself into anything right now. It won’t be good for me at all, I’ve been productive the past few months, so people told me to take it easy, rest and stuff.

Thank you for listening to me, and waiting for my next work. I really, really appreciate it <3 Mama Confetti is fine, just needs some rest <3

Also thank you so so much for your compliments deary ;///v///; <3

I really need to re-read and make little edits on the latest short story I finished. Reading my own writing is so boring though. Oh well… Time to sit down, force myself to read it and hopefully start a new one today.

Got stuff queue’d as usual. I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

30 Day Challenge - Day Five
  1. Say ‘I love you, …’ in the mirror or whenever I catch my reflection
  2. Meditation
  3. Don’t pick my skin (Dermatillomania)
  4. 500ml of water I had a glass???
  5. Read two pages of Mini Habits by Stephen Guise

Today was a chilled day since I slept most of it. I was so exhausted! I was meant to go freestyling tonight with the squad and I was going to force myself to go but again remembered the chapter on not being afraid to disappoint people for my own health. At first when I read that chapter I wonder how the heck I was going to do that? And today was that day. I asked to reschedule and I was honest about not feeling it tonight. Everyone was A-OK and it wasn’t the end of the world as I usually make it out to be. I guess it was easy since not everyone was 💯 but still I commend myself on achieving something.

I feel like every time I do a challenge from the book I’m proud of myself because I’m actually using it to better myself!

My tangle toy came (device/toy used to distract me from reaching across my face/arms to pick) 

It basically looks like that. It keeps my hands busy when I get the urge to pick. A full post on Dermatillomania coming soon/eventually.

I went to the library but couldn’t find any of the books I wanted, will see about ordering them online.

I also am in the process of signing up to AW again! It’s September and the season of money so back to escorting. At the moment I’ve given up on agencies and will work independently. I have two main goals I would like to achieve before Christmas.

Plus I haven’t written in my physical journal in a while so I’m gonna spend tomorrow doing that. Peace ✌🏾

2

What started as an observation of architecture soon turned into an appreciation of a moment.

I’ve been thinking about boredom a lot lately.  And not the kind from being an apathetic individual and not having projects.  I mean the kind people try so hard from experiencing while in line at a grocery store or on a commuter train/bus.  I was on the way to a high school friend’s engagement party a few weeks back, so maybe this was a moment of quarter life crisis for me.  In any case, I just sat there listening to Frank Sinatra echo in this giant waiting room and realized I hadn’t experienced a moment like that unintentionally in a while.  Now I find myself forcing myself to not look at my phone, listen to music or distract myself from what’s happening around me while i’m going to and from work.

I used to always say “there’s nothing worse than boredom”…  look at me now.  Maybe I’ve just realized myself as the worst kind of hipster.

… i forced myself into a 1/60 corner and stayed there. i think that peoples obsession, enforced by the industry and PRO Photographer magazines, with sharp noise free images really takes something away from photography. without studying photography history i would have never tried to impose limitations or draw parallels from older ideas and philosophies.
— 

Ian Weldon - one of the best, if not the best wedding photographer

www.ianweldon.com

I slept in to 6:30 this morning. I kind of woke up around 4ish but I forced myself to stay sleeping despite my cat making a bunch of noise in the living room. I was totally exhausted when I got home from work yesterday, exhausted in a good way. I never knew teaching high school students could so exhausting.