Have you ever wondered if your obsession with the Romantics has resulted in this dysphoria? I have dealt with the same feelings but a lot of self-identified gay trans men I have come across have issues with accepting womanhood can be a lot of things, and no, male relationships are not superior or something to revere where female relationships are cast aside as friendships and not exciting enough. Just a thought.
the romantics have shaped a large part of my identity (i did name myself in honor of john keats, after all), but if you’re looking for literature that sent me on my journey of gender/sexuality discovery, that honor actually goes to evelyn waugh’s brideshead revisited, which for those of you not in the know is a classic primarily about the relationship between two men in the 1920s. while i wouldn’t say that it was the result for me, it is true that obsession with predominantly male literature can be the cause for realizing you have dysphoria.
misogyny in the gay trans male community is a complicated subject, not justifiable, just complicated. because of patriarchal notions, cis men (and thus archetypal manhood by extension) are primed to view women as lesser. when you’re a cis gay man this is also an easy trap to fall into because by nature you are drawn to the company of other men, and when you’re trans there’s a whole other layer of having been forced to pretend womanhood, and having to, in a simplified sense, reject that mantle of womanhood to find yourself as a man. i think that it’s a messy cocktail of patriarchal values and our own internal conflicts in regards to our closeted trans male socialization.
i’d like to believe that i do a good job of listening to women’s varied experiences of their womanhood and recognizing the importance and beauty of relationships between women, but i also know that as a gay man i’ve been guilty of prioritizing gay male experiences/relationships on more than one occasion. this is something that we all need to work on, and i hope the parts of the gay trans male community which are most embroiled in this toxic narrative will learn how to change their views for the better