forced motherhood

I’m not going to post the rest of the thread but this makes me fucking sick.

“I want to have an abortion, but I’m grounded.”

That sentence shouldn’t exist in this fucking society. Her parents want her to be a mother but control her like a child.

This is sick. This is the world anti-choicers want, and because of these trap laws that require parental consent, young women are forced into motherhood without their consent. 

thisloveisastateofgrace  asked:

Hi Katie! I have a question for you. Are you still anti-abortion in cases of rape, incest, or if the life of the mother is in danger? You've probably already answered these, so I'm sorry! But I was just curious as to what your opinion is. ūüėä

Hi! Thanks for asking! I’m always happy to re-explain my positions, especially on hard cases, because it gives me a chance to practice and to clarify.

Let’s take these one at a time, because they are all very complex.

Rape/Sexual Assault

Rape is wrong. Rape is horrible, evil, despicable…and any other words I can come up with. Rapists should be caught, put on trial, and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Survivors of rape should be protected. They should be supported, loved, and cared for. They should have access to health care that they need, counseling, and support groups. They should have friends and family around them who love and care for them. If that isn’t the case, communities need to step up and fill those gaps.

We can all generally agree on these things. They aren’t controversial. Pro-life people, pro-choice people, conservatives, liberals, Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians…just about everyone. If someone doesn’t agree with those things, we stare at them like they’ve just grown a second head.

But what about the children of survivors of rape?

This is my friend Patti. We met doing pro-life work while I was in college out in California. She was conceived in rape. Her birth mother chose to place her for adoption, and she grew up loved and cared for. She says:

“I want to say that even though the circumstances of my conception were in violence and hatred, I am not my father, nor am I my mother. I am unique. I was created by a loving God and my life is so valuable. And so is the life of every baby conceived — valuable and a gift from God.“

This is Travon. She was conceived in rape. Her mother raised her instead of choosing adoption, and told her about who her father was after her 18th birthday. Today, she is a speaker, wife, and mother. She travels telling her story and advocating for children like her to be protected under the law.

This is Mary. Her mother had paranoid schizophrenia and was married to a man who also had a mental disability. When her mother was raped, the husband went to the police, but ultimately claimed Mary as his own to protect his wife’s reputation. Because of her mother’s schizophrenia, Mary was cared for by another couple, visiting her birth parents periodically. Eventually, when she was five years old, that couple adopted her.

(More stories at

Do any of these people look like they were conceived in rape? What would that look like? My friend Patti told me that she has heard people refer to those conceived in rape as “devil spawn.” Should they have horns and tails? Should they carry pitchforks?

Or are they children? Teenagers? Adults? Mothers and fathers? Husbands and wives? People?

The circumstances of conception, no matter how violent, how terrible, do not reduce the value of the child conceived. If abortion is wrong because it kills a human being, then it is wrong no matter who that human being’s father is.

What about the mother? Like I said above, I am all in favor of resources and support for survivors of rape. I am all for counseling to help them process and heal. Abortion will not solve their problems. It will not take away their nightmares. It will not take away their fear, their pain. It will only take away the life of their child, who has no guilt in how he or she was conceived.

Meet Darlene. She was not only conceived in rape, but as a teenager she became a victim of child trafficking and became pregnant from rape herself. She says that in order to escape from her captor, she pretended to have an abortion. Now she is married with five children and two grandchildren.

Darlene, despite her own difficult childhood and the way she was forced into motherhood at a young age, has made it her life’s mission to protect the lives of children like her and her oldest child.

She says:

“I am so passionate about the value of every life; whether one is conceived with wine and roses, in a test tube or as a result of violence. I absolutely reject the utilitarian view that people are valuable only if they can contribute to society in arbitrarily contrived ways. We should all hold to the Declaration of Independence’s admonition that each of us is endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights: the right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These God given rights are consecutive, not concurrent. Without the right to life, nothing else matters.“

I have included all of these stories here not because they prove my point. I include them because these are the real human beings we’re talking about when we talk about abortion in the case of rape. We need to remember these faces, these names, every time someone says “cases of rape are only 1% of abortions, we shouldn’t be a stickler over 1%.” Every time someone says “a pregnancy from rape is only a terrible reminder for the mother.” Every time someone says “abortion is okay for the same reason that rape is wrong, because of bodily autonomy.”

These are the people we’re talking about killing.

Pro-lifers know that abortion kills children and hurts women. So why should we abandon those women and children who have also been hurt by rape to the additional pain and death of abortion?


This is very similar to the case of rape, and many people put these two together. However, I gave incest its own section so I could deal with what does make it different.

In the case of incest, we have an extra layer of complexity that makes these cases exceptionally painful. In the case of incest, we usually have a young girl who is raped by a close family member, often her own father. She has been scarred in ways that someone who didn’t experience that can never understand. And now she’s pregnant, probably at a very young age.

What do we do?

First, we get her out of that situation as quickly as we can. We get her to a safe place, and we do everything we can to make her feel safe. We don’t want her to be worried about her rapist coming back for her, at least no more than she has to be.

We put her rapist in jail. We make sure that he is punished to the fullest extent of the law. Perhaps we even find comfort in knowing that in prison, he will be rejected even by other criminals for the nature of his crime.

But she’s still pregnant. And she’s still a child. What do we do?

We love and care for her and her child. We find a permanent home for her, through adoption or through other family members if possible. We give her power over the process as much as we can so she feels like she has some control. We talk to her about adoption and parenting, and we let her make the decision. If she chooses parenting, we work with her new guardians to make a plan for her welfare and the child’s. If she chooses adoption, we give her the opportunity to meet potential adoptive parents and choose the family that she wants her child to have. We give her the choice between open and closed adoption, so that she doesn’t feel like her child was taken from her.

We don’t kill her child.

Just like those conceived in rape, people conceived in incest are still people. They are human beings with the same right to life as any other human being. We cannot abandon them either.

If abortion is wrong because it kills a human being, then it is always wrong.

Health/Life of the Mother

This case is almost more complex, because here we get into the definition of abortion. For our purposes, I am defining abortion as a procedure that intentionally takes the life of the preborn child.

There is one case that comes the closest to abortion being necessary, and that is a tubal pregnancy. In these cases, the embryo implants in the fallopian tube. With current medical technology, we have no way to save the child. If we do not intervene, the child will grow, the tube will rupture, and the mother can die from hemorrhaging. So we have to intervene and remove the child from the fallopian tube.

I do not consider this an abortion. Our goal is not to kill the child, but to save the mother. If, someday, we found a way to save the child and the mother, we would do it. But currently, we can’t. A doctor’s job is to save as many patients as possible, but the loss of a patient does not mean the doctor is a murderer. He or she is only guilty of murder if the patient is intentionally killed.

This same reasoning applies to every other case. It is wrong to intentionally kill the child. However, if the child needs to be removed to save the mother’s life, we can do so. We just need to be sure that we are also concerned for the life of the child, and doing everything we can to save that child’s life as well.

Some will argue that late-term abortion is necessary to save mothers, but this makes no sense. Sure, and early delivery might save the life of the mother. But why should dismembering, poisoning, or beheading that child in the process do anything to improve the mother’s health?

For more on this from an actual doctor (which I am not), watch this video of an interview with Dr. Anthony Levatino. Dr. Levatino was an abortionist and is still an OB/GYN. He worked out of a regular practice rather than an abortion clinic, and so he would routinely do an abortion in one room and then talk to a mother who was keeping her child in the other. He saw patients with complicated and high-risk pregnancies. He knew, even then, that abortion was not necessary. In fact, as he says in the video, for late-term patients an abortion is more dangerous than an early delivery. A late-term abortion might take up to three days, while a c-section delivery could take an hour. If the mother’s life is truly in that much danger, which would you choose?

Every case is different when we’re talking about high-risk pregnancies, but we can tackle each of them in a pro-life way by following a simple rule: treat both mother and child as patients. If we are doing that, we will find the best approach that saves the most lives.

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask for any clarification on anything I’ve said here.

Raven is my favorite character but please stop trying to force motherhood on her.

Stop saying that Raven has to comeback to raise her child, or that she should keep in touch with her or even saying Raven is Yang’s mom.

Yang already had a mom.

Summer Rose was her mom. That title belongs to her and only her, and sadly she died, so don’t try to replace her with a woman who doesn’t want to be a mother and that wouldn’t do Yang any good. 

Repeal the 8th

- - - Bit of context for those outside of Ireland - - - 

Ireland is one of the only countries in Europe that doesn’t allow access to abortion because of something called the 8th amendment. Introduced in the 80s, it grants a foetus the same rights as an adult woman. We have had a couple of changes recently to allow for if the woman’s life is in danger, including suicide, BUT those changes have rarely (if at all) been acted on and women have still been forced to carry to term against their will, even in cases of wanted pregnancy with fatal foetal abnormality where the woman knows that the foetus is dead or dying but is forced to wait until she miscarries naturally. For more information, please look up information about “the x-case”, “Savita Halappanavar”, “Ms. Y” and the arrest of a 19 year old in Belfast for purchasing abortion pills)

- - - - - – - - - - – - - - - – - - - - – - - - - – - - - - – - - - - – - - - - – - - - - – - - 

I have yet to meet one “pro-life” argument that doesn’t have its roots in misogyny (internalised or otherwise)

Not. One.

Not one that doesn’t shame a woman for either enjoying sex at best or not being able to fight off a rapist at worst. Not one that doesn’t ultimately dissolve into blaming the woman for “getting herself” pregnant in the first place (because you can do that, as a woman. You can just asexually reproduce at will. It’s pretty magic)

- - -

Not every argument leads with outright slut shaming; hell, some even work under the guise of loving women and wanting to protect them (making choices FOR them isn’t protecting them, it’s infantilising them) but it’s there in the margins, and, in my experience, becomes very overt if you question further. You’d be surprised how quickly a “I just believe in the sanctity of life” turns into the oversimplification of “well SHE didn’t HAVE to have sex. She should have thought about that!” when pushed. 

There are a lot of baseless (and often, frankly batshit) “pro-life” arguments, but let me address my current favourites:

But… you’re actually not really loving either of them.

1. Leaving aside the absolute mental and physical cruelty of forcing a woman into a pregnancy that she doesn’t want (doesn’t seem very loving to me), you’re telling the woman she couldn’t possibly know what she wants to do with her own body or life. Silly little woman, you’re being MISLED by all these pro-abortionists who just want your money! You know, they’re right; I’m definitely in it for the money. Every time a woman has an abortion, I, as a “pro-abortionist”, get to re-enact the Scrooge McDuck money-dive from Duck Tales. No one on the “pro-life” side has ever been funded by anyone by the way. Nope, not a bean spent from… overseas. … *cough*

And 2. you don’t give a flying feather if the foetus you’ve forced into being has to go into foster care or be raised by someone who isn’t financially or mentally ready to raise a child. As long as it’s born, that’s literally all that matters, with no concern of the aftermath. Not actually bothering with a tap of support for these women forced into motherhood, despite the rhetoric claiming that there needs to be more for them. What support are you actually offering once the woman has the child? (Judgemental mutterings that she “should have kept her knees together” towards a 14 year old trying to manoeuvre her buggy (pram) on to a bus don’t count by the way)

I wouldn’t exist, therefore I wouldn’t have an opinion.

So… abortion is cool in the case of not liking someone else’s view point? Not like… rape, incest or concern for the woman’s life or anything, but you’ll allow it if it stops someone from being born that doesn’t agree with you. Okay then, that’s… reasonable…

Okay, putting aside the fact it’s not actually a baby, the foetus doesn’t have a choice because it doesn’t have consciousness. It doesn’t have a choice because it is not in any way capable of making a choice. It doesn’t know what a choice is; it doesn’t know what knowing is. It doesn’t have concepts of life or death or morality. 

It has the POSSIBILITY of becoming a baby, true, but so does every single sperm. So does every egg in a women’s system. ALL of them are POSSIBLE lives. You are valuing the possibility of life over the actual living, breathing, feeling human being in front of you. How on earth is that pro “life”? You’re pro possibility, not pro reality, not pro life.

- - -

If you truly believe that life begins at conception/the soul is formed at conception, then that is your belief and you’re absolutely entitled to it. Everyone’s entitled to their religious beliefs, and if that particular one would stop you from having an abortion then that is completely and utterly up to you!

However, your beliefs do not trump anyone else’s rights. Your beliefs do not dictate how anyone else should act or feel. Your religious beliefs should not dictate law. That’s like me saying “if you don’t leave a chocolate orange outside my house every month, as is dictated in my personal bible, then my unicorn messiah will smite you and send you to marmite hell”. It may be my belief, but your lack of chocolate orange offerings won’t actually cause you harm (nor should it… though you should still leave me offerings just in case)

Originally posted by brigadeiroporn

I am not “pro-abortion”. I don’t believe everyone should get one for shits and giggles or that it’s the only solution to pregnancy complications. I simply trust women’s choices over their own (present, not-a-possibilty-but-an-actual-living-breathing-human) bodies and lives and believe they should have access to all choices, not some.

Repeal the 8th.

anonymous asked:

One of the biggest mistakes an Anti can make while arguing with me is "but childbirth and motherhood is beautiful. Nothing is better than being a mother". It's fucking sexist and deluded. You know what's not beautiful? FORCED childbirth and FORCED motherhood. It's even sadder when other women say this. Stop reducing me to my ability to carry something in my womb please please please.

Also, like, you can’t make legislation based on beauty? Idk what kind of argument that is???


anonymous asked:

Could you NOT act like mothers are bimbos for having children? What an absolutely privileged standpoint to have. A lot of us never had a choice, and would be childless if we could.

I’m confused where my privilege is here.

In fact, I’m confused in general. 

I don’t believe I’ve ever used the word ‘bimbo’ in my posts. And I don’t believe all mothers come under that heading. I’m sure it could be applied to an equal mix of parents and non-parents throughout the world. There’s a chance here that you’re confusing me with another blog - we tend to get lumped together as ‘those childfree blogs’.

I’ll start untangling the rest by suggesting that the world isn’t divided strictly into ‘choice’ and ‘not a choice’. Things sit on a spectrum. So, getting hit by lightning is less of a choice than going to buy bread in the supermarket - but then, you chose to wear the underwired bra and you chose to ignore the weather report, then during the storm you chose to walk across the open fields… or perhaps you’re being forced at gunpoint to pick up a seeded brown loaf at the corner shop. I don’t know. At the end of the day, choice exists on a spectrum.

And I’d suggest that parenthood is generally far more of a choice than you’re saying. 

Forced motherhood exists, yes. But it’s within extremely rare and probably violent circumstances, which I doubt you’re in. 

A pregnancy might be a surprise, even if you took precautions against such a thing, but it’s then a choice to continue along that path. It’s a choice not to look at things like adoption. Maybe we can say parenthood is a series of choices, and the fact some of those are hard choices doesn’t disqualify them from being a choice.

I’m genuinely sorry that you regret having your children. I absolutely, wholeheartedly acknowledge that must suck. I like when people are happy, and I don’t want anyone to be upset within their life. Seeing the agony that people who regret having children go through has been a big, big factor in my own choice not to become a parent.

Do I think that people are stupid for making the wrong choice about whether to become a parent?

No. Ultimately, I just think it’s awful for you. It sucks and I hope things get better.

But I’d like to dodge that eventuality if I can - the same way I’ll read about someone getting electrocuted by her underwired bra in a lightning storm, and think to myself, oh man, that sucks. Poor woman. I’ll try to avoid that.

Snow White and the Evil Queen (and other things) Meta Master Post

Apparently I’ve been writing a series of long metas about both Snow White and Regina a lot lately, and have plans for more.  They are starting to reference to each other.  So this is my attempt to put the links in one place.

Season 6 Crazy Theories

Snow Queen Long Meta

Regina Character Long Meta

Snow White Character Long Meta

Regina Related Mini Meta

Snow Related Mini Meta 

Zelena Character Long Meta

Enchanted Forest Politics

Queering the Show

OQ Related

Other Meta

Fandom Related


“You can’t tell me that these people standing outside my clinic with their bloody signs, intimidating chants about Hell and murder, and even their physical contact with my patients is nothing more than free speech!!”             

~ Merle Hoffman ~

April 11, 2016: International Day for Maternal Health and Rights

Pregnant teens wait to be seen at the Tan Ux’il adolecent clinic in Petén, Guatemala, a partner of Planned Parenthood Global. 

Did you know that Latin America is the only region in the world where births among girls under 15 years old is on the rise? And nearly 90% of pregnancies in girls under 14 years old are the result of rape. Forcing a girl to carry a pregnancy to term puts her at risk for severe physical and mental health complications, and even death. 

Access to safe and comprehensive maternal health care, including safe abortion, is a human right. That’s why Planned Parenthood Global is proud to join global health activists from around the world in recognizing today, April 11, as the International Day for Maternal Health and Rights. Today especially, the maternal health of some of the most marginalized communities around the world must be front and center. 

Learn more about Stolen Lives, a research project to document the physical and mental health effects of forced motherhood on girls 9-14 years old in Guatemala, Ecuador, Nicaragua, and Peru.

You’ll Make A Great Father Someday

Sometime last month- an anon sent me a prompt asking to explore Owen’s feelings after Cristina aborted their baby. I’ve lost the exact prompt- but it was something along these lines. Sorry for the long wait Anon- and I’m not sure if this is exactly what you want, but I hope you like it :)

Throughout the many years since he had opened his bar opposite Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, Joe had seen it all.

He had seen hospital staff coming in after a hard day’s work, and just chilling out with each other, laughing the day’s worries off . On the contrary, he had also seen hospital staff entering the bar alone, looking forlorn and crestfallen, and ordering a drink. Usually they would not stop at one drink- they would usually order another glass and another, and drink themselves until drunk. Sometimes that put him in a difficult situation- whether or not to give the obviously drunk person yet another glass of liquor.

 He had heard it all too. Once in a while, someone would sit all alone at a stool beside the bar counter and vent all their worries, angers and frustrations to him. Usually, when someone is drunk- their inhibition would be gone and their deepest and darkest secrets would come out. Therefore, he knew all the deepest secrets of his customers and he swore himself to secrecy- that every single thing he heard on the bar counter would always remain there.

 Right now- he was having another one of those customers.

 Joe couldn’t help but stare at Owen Hunt who was sitting alone beside the bar counter. He had just downed yet another bottle of beer in a few gulps, which was very uncharacteristic of him.

Keep reading

To everyone that argues that women are more likely to get custody of children:

It was society that forced compulsory motherhood. It was men that decided that women needed to be mothers.

Maleficent as "The Protector of the Moors"

In response to all the spam/hate in the Malora tag, I thought I’d add my two cents about why trying to force Maleficent into the motherhood role and nothing else is problematic and, at heart, more sexist than you’d probably like to acknowledge. 

Though almost no time has passed since the movie premiere, the Malora tag has already been bombarded with hate and spam. It is to be expected, but there are a few things about it which strike me as the most ridiculous, and perhaps the most easily explained.

The main argument most of these moral police are insisting upon is that shipping Malora is corrupting their ideal view of Maleficent as a mother figure to Aurora. I have no issues whatsoever with the maternal interpretation of the movie, but claiming it as the moral end-all-be-all to interpretations of the movie is just plain wrong, especially when these same individuals take no issue with the Diaval x Aurora ship.

What these critics are perpetuating is what is commonly known as the virgin/whore dichotomy; a patriarchal system that places all women into two categories:

  • The virgin, also called the Madonna, is the woman who follows the proper, traditional, moralistic course of a woman’s life: abstaining from all sin and only engaging in sex for the sole purpose of attaining motherhood.
  • The whore, by contrast, is the woman who engages in all manner of perverse pleasures and freedoms and who should be scorned for daring to be anything other than the above, to be viewed as degraded and debased.

Because these antishippers have placed Maleficent in to the Mother role of the “Virgin” category, she is no longer allowed any interaction with what they view as the other side, especially in the discomforting overlap they view when Malora is mentioned.

The biggest issue is, of course, that women are far more complicated than that.

The only canonical role we have for Maleficent is that of the Protector, literally stated in the narration during the exposition. The role of the Protector is, in patriarchal literature, traditionally a male one, so it’s unsurprising that so many people are reflexively uncomfortable with that role and try instead to pigeonhole her into the mother role.

The beauty of the Protector role is that it is one which – in its more common male incarnation – can mature into either a mentor/father role or into a romance/knight-in-shining-armor role. It all depends on the way the characters are developed, and regardless of which direction it turns, both outcomes are viewed as positive. 

Because there is limited contact shown between Maleficent and young Aurora in the movie, the brief canon created in those two hours offers an exposition for either path (or even more if you deviate from that patriarchal standard, such as a lifelong friendship, an equal ruling partnership, or a continuation of the protector dynamic without needing to branch into anything else). Perhaps it was Diaval who Maleficent left to watch over Aurora all those years, and we saw the only moments of contact Maleficent ever had with her. Perhaps she did step in more often, and develop that maternal bond so many see as the love which broke the curse. There are so many paths left unexplored, and that’s just what Malora is doing, just as that is what those who ship Diavora or Aurora/Philip are doing; exploring.

The Protector is a powerful role as a form of love and strength so long denied to female characters and I am tired of seeing it ignored in favor of outdated virgin/whore arguments. There is a reason this movie is considered a feminist one, and it isn’t just because Philip wasn’t the one to save Aurora. Don’t belittle Maleficent’s character to excuse your own bigotry. 


Stop Patriarchy mobilized forces to come out and STAND UP against the so called ‘March for Life’ yesterday in DC, and demonstrated what righteous resistance against those who want to bring women back to the dark ages should look like! Their march was brought to a halt, for nearly 40 minutes, with 8 people arrested. Bold, inspiring, courageous, and necessary, Thursday’s action need to be part of bringing forward a whole new wave of resistance to the attacks on women! Abortion on Demand and Without Apology!


Yesterday, in the Bay Area, long time Revolutionary Carl Dix, a front line fighter against Mass Incarceration, Police Terror and Murder, and the Criminalization of a Generation, joined up with members of Stop Patriarchy and others to confront the racist woman-haters of who spread the LIE that abortion is the equivalent of a black genocide. 
Check out this video of Carl, debunking this vicious lie, and speaking to the REAL slow genocide going on in this country, of Black and Brown people.

We were acting for millions...

-from Riley Ruiz, an Abortion Rights Freedom Rider

On August 13th, 2014, I along with ten other Abortion Rights Freedom Riders, got arrested for engaging in nonviolent civil disobedience, blocking traffic, in front of Rick Perry’s mansion.

As we walked across the street and took our positions, I thought about all the women who have died, all the women forced into motherhood, all the women shamed for having abortions, all the women kept silent. I remembered the story of a woman from San Antonio, who was raped, and forced to bear a child against her will, then forced into prostitution to survive, suffering for 35 years. I remembered the story of a woman who traveled to Europe alone, and was raped, became pregnant, and considered suicide as a reasonable way out. These stories were just some of the many that were told at our People’s Hearings; they represent the huge stakes in this fight over whether half of humanity will be free to determine their own futures, and they will stay with me forever.

As cars began to pile up, and people on the sidewalk gathered and filmed, I felt more and more emboldened. The cars began honking, and we chanted louder. People came out of their cars shouting at us, one car nearly hit one of us, but we were not deterred. We stood strong for nearly 10 minutes. Many people watching from the sidelines were in awe, and some were moved to tears. People participated in all kinds of ways, giving us water as we sizzled on the hot pavement, talking to and filming the police to make sure they didn’t get totally out of line, and doing interviews responding to the action. It was so compelling, what we did, that people stayed and watched the entire thing unfold, until every single one of us was put into the police trucks.

When the cops gave us a countdown before they began their arrests, not one of us flinched. It took them quite a while to cuff all of us, and all the while we did mic checks, talking about the dark ages agenda that Rick Perry is fighting for, the fact that if HB2 holds it will result in the foreclosure of women‚Äôs lives as well as women dying from self induced abortions, and chanted things like ‚Äú1, 2, 3, 4 Abortion is worth fighting for! 5, 6, 7, 8 Women‚Äôs lives are what‚Äôs at stake!‚ÄĚ and, ‚ÄúCome on, come on and join the fight! Abortion is a basic right!‚ÄĚ Our voices were giving out, the pavement was searing hot, and the police dragged us away one by one, but there was NEVER a moment where we lost our energy and determination. We were charged the entire time, knowing we were acting for millions.

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Photos from Stop Patriarchy protests in Seattle, WA, Berkeley and UCLA in CA, and New York, NY this past Friday and Saturday, against the outrageous HB2 ruling that has forced all but 7 abortion clinics in Texas to shut down.