for-travis-hamonic

i'M GOIN ON A ROAD TRIP TOMORROW

THE PLAN:

  • columbus - mission: find JMFJ and embrace him, if not literally than figuratively, with my heart
  • pittsburgh - mission: peer pressure beau bennett into telling me the best place to eat a burrito, eat that burrito, and then wait with baited breath to watch the LEAFS be the LEAFS.
  • washington, d.c. - mission: cheer loudly for kyle okposo and travis hamonic while decked out in caps merch. talk shit about the caps. when someone else talks shit about the caps, transform into a three-horned puma and shout nOBODY GETS TO TALK SHIT ABOUT THIS DUMBASS TEAM BUT ME. 
  • back to columbus - mission: find bob. point aggressively at him. when he asks, “why are you pointing at me?” say with loving and uncomfortable intensity, “you know why.” hold up a sign during the game that bobby lu can see. wait for him to recognize that we are kindred spirits. quit my job. move in with bobby lu and his beautiful family. stay there forever.

THE PLAYERS:

  • i, a trashbag full of donuts
  • terminallyawkwardneighborgirl, a sweet fruit-flavored powdered gatorade knockoff that was discontinued in the early 2000s
  • my volkswagen bug convertible, Frauline das Cheese
  • moxie

THE JAMS

  • send us jams
  • make us 8track playlists we will love you for it

QUESTION OF THE DAY

  • does the state of indiana ever end?
  • no.

ACTUAL THE QUESTION OF THE DAY

  • WHAT FAST FOOD PLACE SHOULD WE STOP AT FOR BREAKFAST?