It’s okay if your kindness isn’t appreciated. Do it for the sake of Allah and you’ll feel better. And continue to be a better person. You’ll never know who will follow your footstep and spread kindness.
The couple who marries for the sake of Allah, knows that life is too short for meaningless arguments. They don’t marry thinking “What can this person give me”. They marry thinking “What can I give this person”.
Because they know that fulfilling each others rights equals gaining the love of Allah. Bi’idnillah.
i’m gonna try and explain this situation, from my point of view. let me reiterate: i am not speaking for all muslims here. i am not speaking for all muslims here. but i, as a girl who is muslim, am speaking from my knowledge and point of view. there will be muslims who will disagree with me, just like how there will be non muslims who will too. i already know this.
but … i’m just putting what my beliefs are about this whole situation, as a muslim girl, out there:
yousef isn’t muslim. sana is muslim. sana clearly likes yousef. for some muslims, the fact that yousef isn’t a muslim, wouldn’t be a huge issue. they’d still be okay to date/marry their non muslim partner.
however, for some muslims (and i’m saying this with my point of view put into this too), dating/marrying a non muslim, is a huge issue. a huge, huge, huge issue, both religiously speaking, because there is a clash of faith/no faith, and also culturally speaking too, where in which, people will point fingers. but hey, people point fingers all the time anyway. so, let’s remove the culture factor.
religiously speaking, practising muslims find it extremely important that their partner is muslim too. for some muslims, this isn’t even something that is negotiable. we can’t compromise on that. faith comes first for us.
the prophet muhammad (saw) said once, “when Allah’s servant marries, he has completed one half of the religion. thereafter, let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.”
let me explain what that above hadeeth means. if our partner is muslim too, it makes life a whole lot more easier, a lot less simple, but also, because with our partner, the 2 of us can motivate each other, and help each other, and support each other when our imaan (faith) and deen (religion) isn’t as strong as we would like it to be. we become each other’s motivation. we become each other’s rock. we become each other’s inspiration.
and that’s the whole essence, and beauty, for a muslim having a partner who is muslim too, that we may wish to marry, and further deepen our bond with.
sana, according to her beliefs, needs for her partner to be muslim too. that is something she doesn’t wish to compromise on.
yousef, isn’t muslim. he doesn’t believe in Allah.
so where does that leave sana, who is really starting to like yousef?
yousef could revert back into islam, if he was muslim before, or he could convert, and things could work out for them 2. some people though, may not feel that that is an adequate enough reason to accept islam back into your life again - just for the sake of someone else. if you’re wanting to come into islam, then it should be because you want to, for the sake of Allah, for the sake of worshipping Allah, not for anybody else. because your islam is between you and Allah to have, that should be the reason, not any other, for wanting to convert/revert. so, yousef reverting/converting, would have to be something that’s not just solely because of sana, but because he WANTS to accept islam, for the sake of himself and Allah, and strengthening that bond again.
of course, some people will say that yousef converting/reverting to islam for sana could be a good thing too, if, say, after he does accept islam, he fully accepts islam into his life, and believes in Allah too, and practices islam as much or as little as he wants, but that he believes in Allah, that is the main thing.
otherwise? i’m not too sure how this is going to work for sana and yousef, if neither sana wants to change her stance on compromising (which, personally, i can’t see her doing), and neither does yousef want to become muslim (again) and believe in allah.
TO THE SISTER WHO QUIETLY CRIED DURING TARAWEEH
As we prayed isha and taraweeh, the sister next to me quietly cried.
I couldn’t help but wonder how many sisters in that room were in pain, and facing some trial, silently, and bravely, as we came together to worship Allah in prayer.
And you’d never know…
How many were calling out to Allah for His Mercy, knowing that He is the only One who can relieve their distress, forgive them, set right their affairs, and only in His remembrance would their hearts find rest?
Trials are the nature of this dunya and everyone is facing something,
And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided. Surat Al Baqarah: 155 – 157
I wanted to take a moment to write to all of the sisters who are struggling this Ramadan, who are facing trials, who feel like their hearts have been shattered into a thousand pieces…
To: the sister who cried quietly in taraweeh and all those struggling this Ramadan
The sister who is exhausted,
The sister who is heartbroken,
The sister who feels overwhelmed with it all,
The sister who feels numb, because so much has happened,
The sister who feels disconnected, from people and from her Lord,
The sister who is spending Ramadan by herself,
The sister who is lonely because she’s alone,
The sister who is lonely in her marriage,
The sister who cries every night, to her Lord, knowing He is the only One who can help her,
The sister who is unable to fast this Ramadan because of health reasons. She feels left out, disconnected from the ummah and all she wants to do is fast for the sake of Allah, but she knows she can’t,
The sister who is no longer able to make sujood because her body is failing her… as her disease progresses, her muscles have stopped working. Alhamdullilah, she can still walk – with help, but she doesn’t know for how much longer,
The sister who is struggling with invisible illness – in pain and battling to get through each day, putting on a brave face, trying to stay positive and not let the comments ‘But you look fine’ get to her,
The sister who has been told by the doctors that she only has a few years left. They don’t know exactly how long,
The sister who has been trying for a baby for years, and endures regular hurtful and probing comments from others. She knows children are from Allah, but still, she feels the pinch of their words,
The sister who has had IVF so many times, but they never took,
The sister who miscarried, again, and felt like a piece of her heart broke when she lost her baby,
The sister who is trying her best to fulfil her obligations and take care of her kids, but is so so tired,
The sister who has lost someone she loves, and she misses them every day,
The sister who was recently diagnosed with cancer. They don’t yet know if it’s spread,
The sister who is battling cancer and the treatment is gruelling,
The sister whose eyesight is fading,
The sister whose child is sick, very sick,
The sister whose child has been hurt,
The sister who is struggling with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues,
The sister who is struggling with oppression,
The sister whose world has been devastated and her life shattered by shocking news,
The sister whose marriage and home is emotionally turbulent,
The sister who is widowed and struggling to get through each day, trying to support herself and her children, one step at a time,
The sister who is divorced and heartbroken, and trying to get back on her feet, one step at a time,
The sister struggling to find work, who needs to pay the bills,
The sister facing eviction and homelessness,
The sister who doesn’t know how she’s going to feed her children tonight,
The sister from Syria, whose city and country have been destroyed, who doesn’t know anyone that hasn’t lost someone they love. All she wants to do is go home, but she can’t,
The sister who is living in a refugee camp, relying on charity to feed and clothe her and her children. She’s alone this Ramadan. Her husband didn’t make it on the boat crossing,
The sister who is walking, carrying her children and the few belongings they managed to save. Walking, hoping that wherever they are walking to will be safer than where they have come from,
To every one of you, and all the other sisters who are facing innumerable challenges, my love and du’a go out to you this Ramadan. Know, dear sister, your solace and comfort lie with Allah, Ar-Rahman, the source of our relief and the reliever of our distress.
He is Able to Do All Things.
Turn to Him and cry.
Pour your heart out to Him.
He is the One who can bring you ease, who can set right your affairs, who can relieve the burden that is weighing on your heart and know, for your patience, your reward awaits you in Jannah, in shaa Allah, a place where there is no sorrow or hardship; only eternal bliss and closeness to your Lord.
This life is temporary and surely we know we will be tested but this life will also be over in the blink of an eye, and the reward in the Hereafter is beyond our imaginings, so hold on to Allah in your darkest hours, when you feel like there is no one else in the world.
Hold on to Him and know, with absolute certainty that He will never leave you, never let you down and that your reward lies with Him. He is the Most Merciful, and He is ever near.
BE KIND TO EVERYONE
As I wrote this, it was a reminder to myself, first and foremost, that we never know what others may be facing in silence. The sister next to you in salatcould be facing the greatest trial of her life.
As we pray tonight and every night in Ramadan, let’s remember the sisters who are struggling in our du’a.
And as we move through this blessed month and beyond, let’s make the effort to be compassionate, to help where we can, to ease the burden of others if we are able, to be patient and to be kind to everyone.
A smile and a kind word to your sister might be a ray of light in the darkness of her day.
May this month bring you all an abundance of blessings. May you all be kept under the protection and care of Allah. May all your prayers, fasts, and duas be accepted by Allah. May you all be rewarded for every single good deed carried out. May forgiveness be granted to you all. May this month bring you closer to Allah. For those whose hearts are torn, may you find peace and tranquility during this month. For those who will be spending it with loved ones, may you always be surrounded by those who love you for the sake of Allah. For those who may be alone this Ramadan, may Allah surround you with people who help brighten your path and have your best interests at heart. For those who are struggling in any way, verily with hardship comes relief, may your burdens be lightened. May this holy month of Ramadan chase away the depression and misery that is getting the best out of you.
For those who are reverts, may Allah make the path ahead of you easier and illuminated.
May you all always be smiling. May Allah bless you all with happiness and a heart at ease.
May Allah always guide you all throughout your journey in life and may we all meet in Jannah insha’Allah. Ameen.
Good character does not come from all of the books you have read, the Ahadith you can quote or the Surahs you have memorized. Good character comes from understanding the beauty of Islam and implementing what you gain in everyday life. Good character comes with sincerity and doing everything you do for the sake of Allah. Don’t tell me you love Prophet Muhammad ﷺ when you are harsh to others. Don’t tell me you fear the Creator when you are horrible towards His creation. Be real with yourself. Look in the mirror. Who are you?