I was 18 when I met her in a college library five years ago.
I left my notebook at home that day and needed paper to write on for a homework assignment. In search of scrap paper, I looked to my left and there she was…
I asked her for a single sheet of paper to use and she gave me three. I was in love.
Over the next year of being in school together, we had many conversations and found we had a lot in common. We both valued family, altruism, happiness, spontaneity, and living with purpose.
But there was one thing we could never agree on.
She was a Christian and I, a Muslim. She didn’t understand how anyone could follow Islam, a cult of falsehood, oppression, sexism, violence and terrorism.
Truth is, I never knew how to respond to her criticisms about Islam because I wasn’t practicing my parents’ faith at the time.
However, my competitive nature kicked in and to prove this white chick wrong, I began reading the Quran…
Reflect on how unreal this is.
Allah made her (not a Muslim) a medium through which he would call me towards Islam.
At the exact same time, I was a medium for her to see an Islam that was different to what the media promoted.
I began performing my daily prayers, I stopped smoking and I quit some other nasty habits.
She began researching Islam in depth, attended prayers in mosques and befriended many Muslims.
Three and a half years ago, she became a Muslim and did so because she felt it was the truth.
We knew we wanted to be together but our family’s approval would be challenging to attain.
It took many years for my family to get over their fear that a white girl was manipulating me and simply acting like she was a Muslim so I could fall into her trap.
It took many years for her family to accept that she wasn’t being brainwashed into accepting Islam and that she wasn’t falling into a trap.
Both of our family’s wanted the best for us, but were giving into their fear of the unknown.
We recognized this and grounded ourselves in good old patience.
We knew we’d be married one day, we could see it in our minds and that we’d do it with the approval of our families.
That’s exactly what happened last weekend. Both of our family’s were at our wedding and couldn’t be happier that we found each other. Alhamdulillah.
Everything that is good in life takes hard work and dedication.
We did this for the sake of Allah and held on tight until now because of the belief that we would shatter stereotypes, pave the road for others in our community with the same challenges and of course, fulfill half of our deen.
The couple who marries for the sake of Allah, knows that life is too short for meaningless arguments. They don’t marry thinking “What can this person give me”. They marry thinking “What can I give this person”.
Because they know that fulfilling each others rights equals gaining the love of Allah. Bi’idnillah.
“A friend will not (literally) share your struggles, and a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf. So look after yourself, protect it, nurture it. Don’t give life’s events more than what they are really worth.
Be certain that when you break, no one will heal you except you; and when you are defeated, no one will give you victory except your own determination. Your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility.
Do not look for your self-worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth from within your conscious. If your conscious is at peace then you will ascend high, and if you truly know yourself then what is said about you won’t harm you.
Do not carry the worries of this life, because this is for Allah. And do not carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah. And do not carry the anxiety for the future because it is in the Hands of Allah.
Carry one thing:
How to Please Allah. Because if you please Him, He Pleases you, fulfils you and enriches you. Do not weep from a life that made your heart weep, just say “Oh Allah compensate me with good in this life and the hereafter”.
Sadness departs with a sajdah. Happiness comes with a sincere du'a. Allah does not forget the good you do, nor does He forget the good you did to others and the pain you relieved them from. Nor will He forget the eye which was about to cry but you made it laugh.
Live your life with this principle: Be good even if you don’t receive good, not because of other’s sake but because Allah loves the good doers".
i’m gonna try and explain this situation, from my point of view. let me reiterate: i am not speaking for all muslims here. i am not speaking for all muslims here. but i, as a girl who is muslim, am speaking from my knowledge and point of view. there will be muslims who will disagree with me, just like how there will be non muslims who will too. i already know this.
but … i’m just putting what my beliefs are about this whole situation, as a muslim girl, out there:
yousef isn’t muslim. sana is muslim. sana clearly likes yousef. for some muslims, the fact that yousef isn’t a muslim, wouldn’t be a huge issue. they’d still be okay to date/marry their non muslim partner.
however, for some muslims (and i’m saying this with my point of view put into this too), dating/marrying a non muslim, is a huge issue. a huge, huge, huge issue, both religiously speaking, because there is a clash of faith/no faith, and also culturally speaking too, where in which, people will point fingers. but hey, people point fingers all the time anyway. so, let’s remove the culture factor.
religiously speaking, practising muslims find it extremely important that their partner is muslim too. for some muslims, this isn’t even something that is negotiable. we can’t compromise on that. faith comes first for us.
the prophet muhammad (saw) said once, “when Allah’s servant marries, he has completed one half of the religion. thereafter, let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.”
let me explain what that above hadeeth means. if our partner is muslim too, it makes life a whole lot more easier, a lot less simple, but also, because with our partner, the 2 of us can motivate each other, and help each other, and support each other when our imaan (faith) and deen (religion) isn’t as strong as we would like it to be. we become each other’s motivation. we become each other’s rock. we become each other’s inspiration.
and that’s the whole essence, and beauty, for a muslim having a partner who is muslim too, that we may wish to marry, and further deepen our bond with.
sana, according to her beliefs, needs for her partner to be muslim too. that is something she doesn’t wish to compromise on.
yousef, isn’t muslim. he doesn’t believe in Allah.
so where does that leave sana, who is really starting to like yousef?
yousef could revert back into islam, if he was muslim before, or he could convert, and things could work out for them 2. some people though, may not feel that that is an adequate enough reason to accept islam back into your life again - just for the sake of someone else. if you’re wanting to come into islam, then it should be because you want to, for the sake of Allah, for the sake of worshipping Allah, not for anybody else. because your islam is between you and Allah to have, that should be the reason, not any other, for wanting to convert/revert. so, yousef reverting/converting, would have to be something that’s not just solely because of sana, but because he WANTS to accept islam, for the sake of himself and Allah, and strengthening that bond again.
of course, some people will say that yousef converting/reverting to islam for sana could be a good thing too, if, say, after he does accept islam, he fully accepts islam into his life, and believes in Allah too, and practices islam as much or as little as he wants, but that he believes in Allah, that is the main thing.
otherwise? i’m not too sure how this is going to work for sana and yousef, if neither sana wants to change her stance on compromising (which, personally, i can’t see her doing), and neither does yousef want to become muslim (again) and believe in allah.
TO THE SISTER WHO QUIETLY CRIED DURING TARAWEEH
As we prayed isha and taraweeh, the sister next to me quietly cried.
I couldn’t help but wonder how many sisters in that room were in pain, and facing some trial, silently, and bravely, as we came together to worship Allah in prayer.
And you’d never know…
How many were calling out to Allah for His Mercy, knowing that He is the only One who can relieve their distress, forgive them, set right their affairs, and only in His remembrance would their hearts find rest?
Trials are the nature of this dunya and everyone is facing something,
And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided. Surat Al Baqarah: 155 – 157
I wanted to take a moment to write to all of the sisters who are struggling this Ramadan, who are facing trials, who feel like their hearts have been shattered into a thousand pieces…
To: the sister who cried quietly in taraweeh and all those struggling this Ramadan
The sister who is exhausted,
The sister who is heartbroken,
The sister who feels overwhelmed with it all,
The sister who feels numb, because so much has happened,
The sister who feels disconnected, from people and from her Lord,
The sister who is spending Ramadan by herself,
The sister who is lonely because she’s alone,
The sister who is lonely in her marriage,
The sister who cries every night, to her Lord, knowing He is the only One who can help her,
The sister who is unable to fast this Ramadan because of health reasons. She feels left out, disconnected from the ummah and all she wants to do is fast for the sake of Allah, but she knows she can’t,
The sister who is no longer able to make sujood because her body is failing her… as her disease progresses, her muscles have stopped working. Alhamdullilah, she can still walk – with help, but she doesn’t know for how much longer,
The sister who is struggling with invisible illness – in pain and battling to get through each day, putting on a brave face, trying to stay positive and not let the comments ‘But you look fine’ get to her,
The sister who has been told by the doctors that she only has a few years left. They don’t know exactly how long,
The sister who has been trying for a baby for years, and endures regular hurtful and probing comments from others. She knows children are from Allah, but still, she feels the pinch of their words,
The sister who has had IVF so many times, but they never took,
The sister who miscarried, again, and felt like a piece of her heart broke when she lost her baby,
The sister who is trying her best to fulfil her obligations and take care of her kids, but is so so tired,
The sister who has lost someone she loves, and she misses them every day,
The sister who was recently diagnosed with cancer. They don’t yet know if it’s spread,
The sister who is battling cancer and the treatment is gruelling,
The sister whose eyesight is fading,
The sister whose child is sick, very sick,
The sister whose child has been hurt,
The sister who is struggling with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues,
The sister who is struggling with oppression,
The sister whose world has been devastated and her life shattered by shocking news,
The sister whose marriage and home is emotionally turbulent,
The sister who is widowed and struggling to get through each day, trying to support herself and her children, one step at a time,
The sister who is divorced and heartbroken, and trying to get back on her feet, one step at a time,
The sister struggling to find work, who needs to pay the bills,
The sister facing eviction and homelessness,
The sister who doesn’t know how she’s going to feed her children tonight,
The sister from Syria, whose city and country have been destroyed, who doesn’t know anyone that hasn’t lost someone they love. All she wants to do is go home, but she can’t,
The sister who is living in a refugee camp, relying on charity to feed and clothe her and her children. She’s alone this Ramadan. Her husband didn’t make it on the boat crossing,
The sister who is walking, carrying her children and the few belongings they managed to save. Walking, hoping that wherever they are walking to will be safer than where they have come from,
To every one of you, and all the other sisters who are facing innumerable challenges, my love and du’a go out to you this Ramadan. Know, dear sister, your solace and comfort lie with Allah, Ar-Rahman, the source of our relief and the reliever of our distress.
He is Able to Do All Things.
Turn to Him and cry.
Pour your heart out to Him.
He is the One who can bring you ease, who can set right your affairs, who can relieve the burden that is weighing on your heart and know, for your patience, your reward awaits you in Jannah, in shaa Allah, a place where there is no sorrow or hardship; only eternal bliss and closeness to your Lord.
This life is temporary and surely we know we will be tested but this life will also be over in the blink of an eye, and the reward in the Hereafter is beyond our imaginings, so hold on to Allah in your darkest hours, when you feel like there is no one else in the world.
Hold on to Him and know, with absolute certainty that He will never leave you, never let you down and that your reward lies with Him. He is the Most Merciful, and He is ever near.
BE KIND TO EVERYONE
As I wrote this, it was a reminder to myself, first and foremost, that we never know what others may be facing in silence. The sister next to you in salatcould be facing the greatest trial of her life.
As we pray tonight and every night in Ramadan, let’s remember the sisters who are struggling in our du’a.
And as we move through this blessed month and beyond, let’s make the effort to be compassionate, to help where we can, to ease the burden of others if we are able, to be patient and to be kind to everyone.
A smile and a kind word to your sister might be a ray of light in the darkness of her day.
May Allah grant all of you a marriage that earns His pleasure. To be a wife where each and every good deed you do is written for you, and the reward is multiplied.
May Allah grant you strength during times of difficulty, patience to learn the wisdom behind your test, and a heart that remembers Him with gratitude when the test passes, and harmony returns again.
May Allah allow your love to be for His Sake. May you be loved for His Sake.
May Allah forgive you for your shortcomings, for the words you utter which are poorly chosen, for moments of losing your temper, and for the moments you wish you could take back.
May He allow your heart and the heart of your spouse to heal beyond the hard moments where you faltered; as a human being will most surely do.
May Allah support you to have a merciful heart and actions where you treat your spouse as you’d like to be treated.
May He bless your household to be a righteous household, to guide the hearts of those whose care you are under and those whom you care for to be filled with the light of iman, a clear purpose for life, and actions beautified with good intentions.
May Allah enter all of us into Jannatul Firdous, with all whom we love, because somewhere in this life, we did a deed purely for His sake, and on our scales, it weighed the heaviest.
Please keep me and my family in your du'a and if you can spare a moment, open your hands for us! Jazakum Allahu Khairan. - Megan :)