A smile is left on my face as he leaves the closet. I decide on red silk shorts, why does it surprise me that red silk shorts are even in my closet, and a black bra with lace trim. I pull the shorts up so they are almost at my navel. They show just the right amount of ass to drive J crazy. I smile again, this time at myself. I really do think psychopath rubs off. I redo my makeup and brush out my hair and braid it back again, I slip on some white fluffy slippers.
I head downstairs to let Jackie in on our date tonight, she is definitely going to be excited about this.
I walk into the kitchen, the guards try not to do a double take, they fail. Miserably.
“Oh my! You are going to give that man a heart attack!” She laughs and tells me to spin! “You pull off the crazy that’s for sure!” She lets out another laugh and I join in with her.
“You hungry sweetie?”
“No, thanks Jackie, I’ll just have some water or something. J and I will be having dinner at 7!”
“I’ll get you a glass! So what’s the outfit for?” He has one eyebrow raised.
“Well, I asked him out on a date!” I laugh a little bit.
“You did? And where is he taking you like that?” She laughs again.
“Well I actually asked that we stay here and just have dinner together.” I give her a shy smile.
“Honey that is so great! It will be nice for both of you, Lord knows that man needs a break too!”
“I actually have more to spill!” I sort of squeal. She looks at me eyebrows raised. “Come over here!” I pull her arm gently, I don’t want him or the guards to hear. She turns the stove down and she walks away from everyone and everything. I tell her what happened at the club and what he said about needing me and what I said which pushed him to admit it.
Her reaction says it all! “Oh my gosh! I’m so happy for you dear. Still be careful, you know who he is, but I know this is what you want. I can tell you really care for him. He needs that sometimes.”
I nod “I know, I try and keep my distance in a senses. I just had to fill you in!” We laugh and walk back over to the kitchen.
It’s almost 6:30.
“I’m going to go check on him. He works too much!” I smile at her and walk up the stairs, again the guards are taking second glances. I walk to the office and knock.
“It’s me baby.”
“Come on in darling.”
I open the door enough for my head to peek at him, I want the full outfit to be a surprise!
“It’s almost time for our date!” I smile at him.
He gets up and he’s in a white t-shirt and boxers with a purple robe on, not surprising. I give him a wink as he walks towards me, he opens the door and he’s eyes follow me up and down multiple times.
“Oh my baby doll! You look absolutely perfect!” I blush and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I turn to walk away and I only take a few steps before he pulls me close to him and has his arms around my waist.
“Darling, I don’t know if we will make it to dinner if you are wearing those.” I rest my head back on his chest and lift my arm above my head and wrap my hand around the back of his neck
“I didn’t think we would actually be eating food.” I have a smile on my face, I press my ass up against him and roll my hips. His growl is deep and low, his hands and squeezing my thighs. I press a little harder and he gives pressure right back I let out a small moan. He turns me around so I’m facing him.
“I really was looking forward to our date.” He smiles and gives me a long kiss.
“Let’s just see how long we last” I smile at him and walk away.
He lets out a frustrating grunt and follows behind adjusting his now hard member. I wink at him.
I’m half way down the stairs and I run back up to him. I’m panicking.
“J!” I’m whispering and telling him to be quiet, “It is really smokey down there. The guards are on the ground. No one is moving! I think they are dead! Did someone? How? J!” I can feel my heart beat in my neck. His look is furious but he keeps his voice calm with me.
“Calm down baby.” He makes his way to look over the ledge of the stairs, he runs me into the bedroom and closes the doors behind us but not closing it all the way so the lock doesn’t click. He has me crouched down by the shoes in my closet.
“Darling, they are here for me ok, not you. You are going to go in this safe room and NOT come out until I tell you! Ok! I can handle this.” His voice is full of anger. It makes me feel uneasy.
I nod yes but ask “How do I know you’ll be ok? What if there is more of them than you think? Should I have a gun? I’m scared. Please, don’t leave me, please.”
He gives me a kiss and I don’t want to let him go. “Daddy will be just fine. Don’t worry about me doll.” He sounded confident and gives me a smile.
I nod again pulling him in for another kiss. He lifts up one of the shoes and types in a code the shelves open and it’s a very small safe like space. I couldn’t stand up in it, I had to sit with my knees to my chest. He hands me a gun and something that looks like a belt but holds 7 magazines, which are all full of ammo.
“You press this to shoot, this is what you press and it will drop the magazine out of the chamber, just grab from your belt and slide a new one back in. Don’t shoot me when I come for you though.” He laughs a little and kisses me one more time.
“Come back to me J.” A few tears start to roll down my cheek.
“Every time doll.” He closes the door and I hear it lock shut.
I can hear him go down the stairs. Im holding the gun, ready to shoot.
I can hear him, “Well, I see you have met the boys!” He lets out that manic laugh. ‘Please come back’ “How can I help you gentlemen. You look like you are searching for something!“ I can imagine him making some crazy faces. ‘Please, please come back.’ I cant really understand the other men there, I can only make out a few words, “Brother”, "Money.“ “Lake”, and “Kill.” My heart is pounding in my stomach.
Gun shots. So many of them and they are all so loud. I cover my mouth and start sobbing. ‘Come back J, please fucking come back.’ I cant catch my breath. I don’t know whats going on out there and its killing me. My heart feels like it has completely stopped, it aches more than anything in the world. My lungs are burning and I can barley see as the tears keep coming. I hear a whole lot of yelling but I can’t make out any words. I hear people in the bedroom, I hear more gunshots, I jerk in the small space i have and cover my mouth tighter, im crying uncontrollably. My head is pounding and I want to run out of here and find J. I can hear people in the closet, they are going through things, I hold the gun towards the door, my finger on the trigger. All of a sudden nothing. I can’t hear anyone or anything. I wait. I close my eyes and try to calm my heart rate, try to bring myself back to life. It feels like hours have gone by but I know in reality its probably been 30 minutes. I hear a knock on the door to the safe place. “Kat, is that you?” its Jackie. I start crying again and she hears me, she punches in the code and lets me out, I reach for her and hug her tightly as I fall into her sobbing. “Where- Is -He?” I try and catch my breath. She doesn’t say anything. I lean back and look at her, “Where?” Her face is long and i know its bad news. “No, no, no, no!!” I scream, i get up and run down stairs screaming for him, “J! J! Where are you!” A few of the guards are getting up or are already up. Their facial expressions are throwing remorse at me. My voice is breaking as the tears keep coming and I keep screaming for him until I break down. Lucas comes over to me and helps me over to the couch, “He isn’t dead Kat.” He has his hand on my back trying to get me to take in some deep breaths. “They didn’t shoot him with bullets, just with electricity, like really strong stun guns. He is alive. We will find him.”
I look at him, my eyes are bloodshot and swollen, “How? How will we find him?”
“When they smoked us out it was with sleeping gas, some of the guys had already started waking up when they had him, so they heard everything they said. If we would of gotten up and attacked then and there he probably would of been killed.” He gives me a faint smile.
“Where do we need to go?” I sniffle, trying to seem stronger than I am right now.
“The guys and I are leaving soon, we know exactly where they are headed.”
“Im coming. Don’t try and stop me.” I walk away and head to the bathroom, i clean my face, put the belt of magazines around my waist, grab a knife he had lying on his night stand and wrap it around my thigh, i kick off the slippers and put on my boots. I feel a burning in my chest like i am about to combust into flames. I head downstairs and all the guys are loading in the cars. I get in the one with Lucas, he smiles at me. The drive was long and uneasy. I felt like every few seconds I was going to have a nervous breakdown, I had to keep my composure, I had to keep telling myself J was alive. We pull up to a lake and only one car of men get out. They are searching, someone finally comes and waves us down 30 minutes later. I’m impatient and emotional. I run to where they were, there is a small beat up house about a mile away from where we were. It looked like at one point in time it was a gorgeous lake home, but now, not so much. The roof is rotting and I can’t even tell what color the house should be, there were plants of all sorts covering the house, I could smell the rotting wood from where we were. The guys have formed like a protective area around me. They know J will be mad if something happens to me as well, he is going to be mad that i’m here anyways. ‘Please be ok baby.’ I repeat in my head. Im beyond nervous, sure I’ve shot a gun and I’ve killed someone but, J was by my side. He gives me that power, without him I’m just powerless me. I can feel my eyes well up again,
Lucas breaks me out of it.
“Kat, you ok? You sure you want to do this? We can have you wait in the car or back at home?”
I sniffle and look down, “I want to do this. I just don’t know how.”
He brings everything to a stop, they guys are crowded around us and everyone has guns drawn away from us. “Kat, that’s your man in there right ”
“Ok aren’t you pissed they took him?”
“Well, yes I’m just all …”
He cuts me off, “No, every emotion right now needs to turn into anger. You have to let it take over all other emotions right now. They will kill you if you don’t. I need you to spark with rage is that clear?” He is being stern with me and then he says it “We don’t even know if he is still alive in there! So let’s go!”
I want to slap him across the face, how could he even say that! We start moving again and I can feel the anger set in. He’s right. They took him from me, my baby, my king, they just snatched him up before we even got to enjoy our date. They can’t do that! We were going out on our first date, damn it! My blood is hot, my body feels like it’s not mine anymore. I can feel the emotions turn inside me.
We are close to the house and one of the guys pulls out a scope, 3 gunshots and 3 thumps “MOVE!” One of the guys yell and they make their way to the front door, Lucas guides me in what to do, “See a bad guy, shoot the fucking bad guy.” Got it, I say in my mind. They flood the inside of the house and I try to make my way through the house searching for J. Nothing. They guys doesn’t seem as confused. “Here!” One says over in the master bedroom, it’s a closet door that leads to stairs. Im in the middle of all these guys as we make our way down the stairs, guns drawn. Some walking regular and some guys walking backwards. It’s not just a downstairs, it’s almost like an underwater prison. It smells horrible in here and there is no where to escape it, the metal is cool to the touch and I run my hand along it as we walk, almost reminds me of J when I touch it. The anger sets in all over again. Guns blazing breaks me from my trance, the guys in front just let bullets fly on some other men walking towards us, I didn’t even hear any words exchanged. I feel safe but I want to feel part of the action. There is one metal door down here, one of the guys takes out a can and freezes the lock and it explodes with ice and the door caves in, he pushes it and guns are drawn from both parties.
I push my way through with my gun raised, I can see some of the guys across from us laugh. “What’s this your guard dog?” They start laughing I put my gun in one of the slits that’s originally for a magazine. ‘Sex sells.’ I raise my hands and start walking towards then, the men on the other side stiffen up and point their guns at me, I can hear Js men do he same pointing them at the other men.
“Don’t worry boys, I don’t bite. Hard.” I snap at them and wink at them. He lowers his gun and laughs again. “What brings you down here sweets?” He reaches for my gun and takes it, I let him. I can feel the crazy and anger set in, making itself at home in my own body. "Well ya see, you sort of took something that belongs to me” I run my hand on his chest and I can see his shiver under my touch. “You ruined our date night.” I turn my back towards him and grind my ass on him, he has his hand around my waist pulling me close. He smells horrible, like lake water and sweat, it takes everything in me to not vomit. He isn’t very tall and he isn’t very built, he has black hair that lays flat to his head, he is repulsive. “Are you the boss baby?” I ask him, I reach behind me and grab his already hard dick, he grunts and pulls me closer. “I’m close to it.” He breaths heavy in my ear. “Well then.” I flip around facing him and drop down and come back up quickly, I take my gun from his hand and shoot him in his crotch and then in the hand that is holding his own gun, all in one motion.
A gun fight breaks out, Js men weren’t as focused on me since they have been around me but all the other me weren’t even paying attention, they had their eyes locked on me till the first shot rang out. I run past the second door and it’s more stairs down, ‘how did someone even build this place.’ I get to the bottom and it’s a regular door and I open it, I push it open fast and stand back. I few shots are let out but then stop. Nothing hits me. My heart is racing. I walk in, only 2 guys and their mouths drop. “Hello.” I smile at them, I make my way over to them and they have their guns pointed straight at me, “Don’t you wanna play?” I lower their guns with my finger and I get down on my knees “This is fun, right?” They are in a trance. ‘Some men are so weak.’ I grab the gun from the man on the left, it’s an ak-47, I use the long end of it to hit the guy on the right in the face and then shoot him in the jaw, I go up to the other guy and shoot him in the face as well. I keep their gun and throw it over my shoulder. I can hear J.
My heart is pounding and I have to hold back the tears. I start running towards his laugh. The metal Hallway opens to a grand room, there he is, strapped to a chair, he face is beat and so is his body, he’s bloody and bruised. My heart breaks. The guards follow behind me quickly. “That’s what I’m talking about!” Lucas comes over and whispers to me. I really don’t remember what I was doing, I just knew I needed to get here. There are 6 guys, 2 on one side of J and 3 on the other and what seemed to be the boss was standing right behind J with a gun against his head. There are about 12 of us. J sort of lifts his head and looks mad to see me here but I ignore it. I put my gun down and walk upfront, “Could I just, just say goodbye?” I take off my belt that J had given me and set it on the ground as well. The guy standing behind J uses his gun to tell one of the guards to come over to me. He brings me in front of J and the guys just says “Search.” I can hear J growl from where I am. It’s ignored. The guy behind J points his gun at me I hold my hands out and stand in a V, “Of course” I smile and wink at the man. The guy searching me does it slowly, he slides his hands down my arms, over my neck, down the front of my chest not even trying to hide feeling me up, down each leg. He turns me around so my back is facing J, he does my arms and legs again, goes down my back and reaches his hands up my silk shorts and feels the skin of my ass. I bite my lip holding back tears. I turn back around “Well that was fun, may I?” I ask the man that just felt me up, he nods to the man pointing the gun at me. “1 minute.” There are 3 guns pointed at us. The rest at the guards. I straddle J and whisper in his ear. “You didn’t come back.” I pull his face to mine and kiss him. I forget everything, where we are, what’s going on around, why we are in this situation, everything feels fine. I taste the blood from his mouth and a few tears roll down my cheek, “Im so sorry baby” I whisper to him. I’m brought back to reality, the guy that just felt me up drags me off him by my hair, I let out a small scream and my blood is boiling. I stand up and head butt him and kick him in the crotch. I rub my head, ‘How do people do that in movies! Bad idea’ my head is pounding. J gives me what he can of a smile. Lucas comes forward “What are you doing Daniel? Why would you try and steal the Joker? You couldn’t possibly think this would end in your favor.” Daniel, the guy behind J speaks up “Ahh, I knew it wouldn’t l, I just had to let him know how it feels to lose something!” He points his gun at me and shoots, it hits me in the shoulder. I fall back, I’m not crying but I don’t know if I’m feeling anything just yet. I hear J scream, it’s low, raspy scream and he lets out his very own laugh after, it sounds painful. The guards shoot down every guy in there, and untie J.
He’s standing over me “Stay awake darling. Just look at me and stay awake. I’ll fix this and we can go on our date, remember our date! Think of that. Don’t close your eyes.” He picks me up and groans as he has his own wounds, I can start to feel the pain set in. I try not to close my eyes but it’s so much easier, “No Kat, you have to stay awake. Please Kat.” His voice trails off. Im not completely there but I can’t keep from screaming at the pain now. He pulls me onto his lap in the car and pulls me close. “It’s ok baby, I got you. I got you now baby girl.” My arm feels like it’s on fire, that’s it, just like it’s burning and I’m just sitting here letting it. We pull up to his house and there are doctors and medics outside, he doesn’t even bring me into the house, they lay out a towel and start working right away. Nothing to numb the pain, nothing to ease it. “Kat, they have to do an immediate surgery. It will be quick. They have to get the bullet out and make sure it didn’t hit bone or nerves.” It’s Lucas. I close my eyes and let out the screams as they come. It helps cope with the pain for now. I feel them cut the wound open more, dig out the fragments they can, they are going so slow it feels like. I feel them take the needle and puncture my skin as they sew it shut. J brings me out a glass of whiskey, I drink the whole thing. It doesn’t help as much as I was hoping. They clean up the wound. “She’s lucky. She will be fine though.” The doctor finally speaks. J carries me into the house and sets me carefully on the couch. He wipes my sweaty hair out of my face. My breathing is shallow, tears and mascara are stained on my face, I look up to him and his expression is blank.
“Can I sleep now?” My voice is rough from all the screaming.
“Yes baby.” His voice is numb and so is he.
I open my eyes are immidiatly the tears are rolling down my cheek, the pain in my shoulder is far worse than I could of ever imagined. I cant move it, turning my necks causes me clench my jaw, i want to scream but I dont know where anyone is. I lets out a loud gasp, and try to lift myself up.
“Honey, no, no, no. Let me help you.” Jackie is right at my side. I let her help me sit up. I cringe with all the small movements.
“Where is J? Is he ok?” My eyes shut tight as I adjust myself with the pain of just sitting there.
“He is ok dear.” She’s short. “Do you remember everything? Do you have any questions?” She hands me a glass of water and a pill, “It’s a pain pill sweetheart.”
I take the water and pill, “Yeah I do remember everything.” I swallow the pill and drink all the water. “Where is J? Why isn’t he here?”
She pats my leg and gives me a shrug of I don’t know.
“He’s alive right?” I panic a little bit and my shoulder aches. I let out a labored breath and sit back into the couch.
“Yes, absolutely he is alive. Don’t worry about him right now. Let’s get you comfortable and fed!” She hands me some toast, jelly and a side of pancakes and eggs.
It smells so good, my mouth waters. She brings the food to me on a small table and hands me a fork. I realize I’ve been shot in my dominant arm. ‘Fucking great.’ I start using my left hand and it’s frustrating but I’m starving. It takes me longer than normal to eat but I finish it. Still no sign of J.
Lucas walks in the front door and he looks exhausted, “Hey Kat! How are you feeling.”
I give him a smile, “Never been better.” A laugh a little and it hurts so bad I bite my lip and have to catch my breath. “Have you seen J?” I ask him.
“Take it easy Kat. And yeah he should be here any minute.” He sighs and walks to the guards living side.
Finally, finally I see him. His green hair, his white skin, he is still bruised so bad and his eyes seem darker. “J!” I want to scream out but I barley manage normal volume.
He walks over to me, not saying a word. He grabs the empty plates and barley makes eye contact and goes into the kitchen. I can hear him throw the plates in the sink so hard they break. I jump at the sound and have to catch my breath again. My heart sinks. ‘What is going on with him.’
Jackie comes over to me, she must know something. “It’s ok honey. He is just upset. It will pass.”
“Why is he upset? What happened?” My head is leaning back on the couch with my eyes closed.
“Because, well because of this situation. You could of died and I think he realized that. It, sort of scared him.” She looks down and grabs my hand, “Please don’t worry about it, you need to focus on your health and getting this shoulder better. You’ll be starting therapy in 2 weeks.”
I sigh. “Ok, thank you Jackie. Can you, if it’s possible, send him my way?”
“Absolutely dear.” She walks away.
“J, come here please.’ He tries to walk right by me and go upstairs. He sits next to me and looks straight ahead. “What is going on J? Please, talk to me.” I want to reach out and touch him. Let him know I’m right here.
“Nothing.” His voice sounds broken.
“Nothing is on your mind at all?” I press him a little more.
“I don’t want to be near you right now Kat.” He gets up and walks away.
I can feel the anger swell inside me, I feel my heart shatter in my chest, my vision is blurry from the tears forming, “Fuck you.” I let out in a low voice, he doesn’t even turn around.
This was a very complex (but absolute enjoyable to do) commission for Tamino, even if he didn’t want to be mentioned, I think he deserves a lot of credits for this awesome idea.
Each sticker has a special meaning, but together reflecting the *good* parts of the furry community… the loving and gentle and accepting parts… and hoping that people will start using them and sharing them. Sort of using stickers as a tool for cultural engineering.
You can see there some known characters, also most of them are “generic” characters. I didn’t want to add “the stickers about all my friends”, I have tons of friends who I love to draw, but that was not the propose of this pack.
Each one has a meaning, as I said before, but I’d love every single person put on each one the meaning that you think is the most accurate for you.
I have a lot of faith on this fandom, we are by far different that many other communities, even when many say “furries are so dramatic” “this fandom is full of drama”, I disagree completely with that thought, because that’s exactly what every single community says about itself, I’ve been in other groups, including the music industry, the mexican animation industry, some particular fan clubs, oh man, furries have no idea what is drama, instead that, in this fandom what I’ve seen is respect, admiration, admiration for other members, even if they are not artists, affection, and above all TOLERANCE, this is a group where anyone can be belonged, any race, preference, gender, culture, profession… I’ve known a big diversity of people all around the world thanks the furry fandom, and learend a lot of different cultures, but what connects us it our affinity for animal characters, which is an universal taste.
So yep, I love you guys n__n I hope you like this pack. And thanks again to Tamino for this great idea and to support this project.
David: Oliver! Oli? What are you doing up here? Please, please, please just keep away from the edge. You might fall. Please. Oli, talk to me. Talk to Daddy.
Oli: Mum thinks I’m mental!
David: No, no, no, no, no! She didn’t mean that. No. And anyway, you’re not. People just have troubles. That’s life. Your brain get’s noisy and it’s very hard. But that’s normal and it always gets better. You just need a little bit of help, that’s all, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Oli: You’re ashamed. You don’t talk about it.
David: Oli. Oli. Look at me. You are gonna be fine. We are gonna be fine and I promise you, I promise you it’ll get better.
Oli: No it won’t.
David: Okay. Okay, I’ll tell people. Okay? Does that make it better?
*turns to Jacob* I’ve got bipolar. But you know that right? *hints at Jacob to accept it so he can convince Oli*
David: I’ve come off my meds, I’ve had breakdowns - big ones. I’ve been sectioned. But that’s okay, isn’t it?
Jacob: Yeah, it’s okay. Absolutely.
David:*turns back to Oli* You see, Olls? You see? It’s okay. It’s okay.
*shouts at the people on the ground* I’ve got bipolar. *louder* I’ve got bipolar.
Come on. Let’s say it together.
*takes Oli’s hand*
Both: *shouts* I’ve/He’s got bipolar!
David:*grabs him and hugs him* See? Life can be fun.
From now on, I’ll post some kind of “live blogging” of the podfics I’m currently listening to, as podfics are what’s keeping me sane so many days, and I simply want to spread the amazing phenomenon of having amazing people reading fantastic fanfiction out loud so we can all fill our ears with worlds that center around a dingy flat in central London, where two emotionally constipated idiots solve crimes and there seems to be a lot of elephants.
I listen several hours a day, as I think that I’ve mentioned far too many times, and it’s not just a cure for boredom (pun intended), but also one of the best ways I’ve found to handle insomnia, crowds and to motivate myself to do… mundane, hard things, like the dishes.
So. There will be posting. About podfics. And they’ll all be tagged “current podfics”.
Not wanting to bother you but a while ago you said you'd do a headcanon on Armand after you had done Louis and Nicolas (/post/150171804542/omg-pls-do-nicholas-and-armand), and I just wanted to remind you because I love your headcanons and I can't wait to hear about your Armand headcanon! Thank you so much! You're awesome!
[Anon refers to this one right here] Omg, that’s so sweet of you to nudge me on that! And merci for the lovely compliments.
I was away on vacation for almost a week and mostly offline, and I decided I needed to reread TVA in order to properly provide this headcanon. So guess who’s rereading TVA? IT’S ME I AM REREADING IT. I want to see if my impression of him changes this time around, bc my headcanon of him is mostly based on IWTV and TVL.
I’m probably not going to do any major TVA analysis, unless something really strikes me, but I know Armand is a fandom fave, so I want to do my headcanon of him justice.
Ichiruki didn’t become canon. It’s just one thing. But Ichigo wasn’t even present at her captain inauguration! :( I just can’t beleive he was so busy in KK that he was unable to visit SS. The only reason I can imagine is that they celebrated someone’s birthday which was far more important than seeing how Rukia became succesful. ( who knows, I’m not interested in what Ichigo spends his days with in KK ) Or we can come up with the fact that it was realistic. In realilty good friends don’t take part in every meaningful life events of their friends.
Anyway I hate how this manga got f*cked up at every angle. :/ Not only Ichiruki but everything…