I can’t tell you how long I had been crying, I lost track of time hours ago. I just couldn’t believe how stupid I was. I should’ve known this would happen. Ethan seemed like such a good guy. He seemed true and sincere but it was all an act. It was all to win a stupid game, a game I should have never agreed to. We could have been happy. I know that, and it's perhaps the hardest thing to know. my phone had been ringing non-stop since I left. I shouldn’t have but I opened the messages from Ethan reading each one.
Ethan: please let me explain.
Ethan: I didn’t care about her okay, I cared about you.
Ethan: I still do.
Ethan: please just meet me somewhere so we can talk?
Ethan: I’m begging you.
Ethan: I know you hate me but just give me a chance.
Ethan: I don’t want to lose you.
Ethan: you don’t need me, but I need you.
Ethan: I haven’t felt like myself in months, but when I’m with you everything just makes sense.
Ethan: I’m an asshole, I’m a player, I’m probably the biggest douche bag in the world but one thing I’m not is a liar. Nothing I said or did was a lie, please know that.
Ethan: I will do anything for you to please just talk to me.
Ethan: I’ve called 32 times and this is the 9th message I have sent you, I didn’t expect you to answer.
Ethan: just know how sorry I am.
Ethan: I made a mistake, now I’m living with the consequences. I regret it, I really do.
Ethan: I’m so sorry.
I put down my phone not able to read another message. I wiped the tears that fell down my cheeks. I heard a loud knock at my door making me suddenly aware. I walked over opening the door to see Grayson standing there with an angry look on his face. I’m sure at this point he knew all about it. I was sneaking behind his back and betrayed him.
“Grayson I..” I started but was quickly cut off.
“you went behind my back and with my twin brother, how could you do this to me? After everything, how could you?” He said frowning.
Grayson was really hurt, and I felt terrible. I didn’t realize how much my actions would hurt Grayson’s feelings. I was being selfish.
“Grayson I’m so sorry. I’m such a terrible friend. I shouldn’t have went behind your back like that, friends don’t do that. It was a stupid game, that I never should have agreed too. I knew what I was doing would hurt you, and I did it anyways. I don’t know why I did it but I did and I’m so sorry Grayson. ” I said feeling more tears fall down my face.
Grayson stood there staring at me. I don’t blame him for being angry. I hated myself for hurting him.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m the only one who looks stupid now. I understand if you never want to talk to me again, I wouldn’t. I don’t deserve a friend like you.” I said feeling as if I said everything I needed too.
Grayson and I stood across from each other. The tension in the air between us was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I deserved to lose him.
“Grayson please say something.” I said not being able to take this tension anymore.
I expected Grayson to yell and scream at me but he didn’t instead he hugged me. I was so confused. He hugged me tightly rubbing my back.
“you should be mad at me, you should be screaming at me, cursing me out, I deserve all of it Grayson. I deserved to have everything that’s happened to me.” I said feeling disgusted with myself.
Grayson took my head in his hands making me look at him.
“I’m hurt, I’m not going to lie. I’m hurt you went behind my back. I’m hurt you lied to me. But most of all I’m hurt that you can’t see that I’ve been the one in love with you this entire time.” Grayson said quietly.
Grayson was in love with me?
“Grayson.” I whispered in shock.
I thought about all the time I had spent with Grayson. Us cuddling on the couch while we watched movies. Us spending all night just talking about life. Us laughing about everything and anything. It was never just friendly. I was left contemplating everything. Grayson was right in front of me this entire time but instead I was chasing Ethan. I was so confused. It was as if everything in the past few weeks has crumbled around me.
“Grayson.” I said still in shock.
I couldn’t form sentences as Grayson stared holes in to me.
“Ethan doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone who knows you inside and out, you deserve someone who sees all of your quirks and admires them. You deserve someone who’s seen you on your worst days and is in love with you regardless.” Grayson said stepping closer to me.
“someone like you?” I questioned my voice just above a whisper.
“someone like me.” Grayson said leaning in.
I felt my heart racing. Grayson was about to kiss me.
ETHAN POINT OF VIEW
I deserved it. It still hurts like hell but I deserved it. I hurt her. Me. I picked up my phone dialing her number again. It went straight to voicemail much like the thirty two other times I had called.
“it’s me again. this is voicemail number thirty two. Y/N please talk to me. I want to see you, I need to see you, I need to explain everything. Please just hear me out.” I said hitting send.
It was my fault. I made a scene and now everyone hated me.
As soon as she walked out, I was surrounded by people. One of them being Grayson, and one of them being Allison the girl I was technically dating.
“so you were cheating on me this entire time?” Allison asked her hands on her hips.
I didn’t say anything, there was nothing to say. Of course I did it. Was I sorry about it? Not really. Allison was a distraction, like most girls I date.
“you really are the biggest asshole on this planet Ethan Dolan.” Allison said slapping me across the face.
She walked away with tears streaming down her face but I didn’t care. It sounds kind of heartless but my heart just walked away from me. Her words replaying in my mind "congratulations Ethan, you won the game, but you lost me.“ Grayson came running over to me shoving me roughly to the ground.
“what did you do to her?” He growled.
David, Zane, and Toddy ran over grabbing Grayson and trying to separate him from me.
“no guys it’s fine.” I said waving them off.
David, Zane, and Toddy took their hands off of Grayson but stayed close by. I stood up slowly brushing the dirt off of myself.
“what do think I did Grayson, what I do best, I broke her heart.” I said.
Grayson clenched his jaw before punching me in the nose. It felt good to get what I deserved.
“I made her fall in love with me Grayson and then I broke her heart.” I said.
Grayson punched me in the nose again knocking me on the ground. I clutched my nose feeling the blood trickle out of it.
“she was the only one I had left and you took her away from me too.” Grayson growled.
“yeah well you don’t own her Grayson.” I said clenching my jaw.
Grayson punched me again before being grabbed by the boys again.
“Grayson enough.” Toddy said.
“no guys stop, I deserve it. Come on Grayson is that all you got?” I taunted standing up again.
Grayson broke from their grasp tackling me to the ground. He punched me a couple time before being ripped of me.
“I don’t want to be around you anymore, I don’t want to be your friend anymore, E, I don’t even want to be your brother anymore. You’re right, you deserve everything that happens to you because you don’t care about anyone but yourself.” Grayson said.
Grayson kicked me letting out all his anger. He had a lot of pent up anger and if hurting me helped him, I didn’t care anymore.
“you’re right Grayson, I’m a bad friend and an even worse brother. You’re right that I deserve this. But your wrong about one thing. I don’t just care about myself, not anymore.” I said wiping my bloody nose with the sleeve of my shirt.
“don’t you dare say you care about her.” Grayson said balling his fists again.
“but I do Grayson, I really do.” I said standing up to face my brother again.
“you don’t deserve her.” Grayson said.
He was right, I didn’t.
“I know that but it isn’t going to change the way that I feel.” I said facing Grayson.
“well that’s too bad Ethan, cause I’m not going to let you hurt her, not again.” Grayson said shoving me down once more.
He stormed away leaving me laying there. A couple of my friends came over helping me up.
“not cool dude.” David said to me before going to follow Grayson.
“I’m sorry dude, but you really screwed up this time.” Zane said walking away too.
“you want to tell me I’m an asshole too?” I said turning to Toddy.
“take care of yourself bro.” Toddy said patting my arm.
everyone was still staring at me, no doubt recording what just went down.
“party is over.” I said walking away from the people.
I went to the bathroom examining the bruises that covered my face. I looked like hell, that’s how I felt. last night played in my head like a nightmare and I just wanted to turn it off. But the truth is there is no reset button in life. You can’t take anything back, and you can’t undo anything. All of you actions have consequences, and the things you say and do will have a lasting impact on the rest of your life. I hadn’t seen Grayson since last night but it didn’t matter, he wouldn’t be talking to me anytime soon. I walked back out pacing around the room. I looked at the couch, memories of her beautiful lips on mine flooding my head. I heard a knock at the door. I ran over hoping it was her, but it wasn’t it was Cameron.
“ you look like hell.” Cameron said.
just seeing my sister here made me break down.
“Cameron I really screwed up this time.” I said as the tears fell from my eyes.
Cameron walked with me over to the couch sitting down.
“Ethan, look I don’t know the whole story but you’re my brother and I can see you’re hurting. If there’s one piece of advice I could give you it’s this- when there’s something you really want, fight for it, don’t give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you’ve lost all hope, ask yourself if ten years from now, you’re going to wish you gave it one more shot. Because the best things in life, they don’t come for free.” Cameron said looking at me.
everything she said hit me all at once. Cameron was absolutely right, in the end we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.
“go after her.” Cameron said pushing me towards the door.
I nodded my head quickly walking out of the door. I replayed everything I wanted to stay as I sped towards her apartment. I couldn’t lose her, not now. I quickly pulled in tires squealing. I ran up the stairs to her floor. As I got closer though my heart stopped. Grayson stood outside her door.
“I’m hurt, I’m not going to lie. I’m hurt you went behind my back. I’m hurt you lied to me. But most of all I’m hurt that you can’t see that I’ve been the one in love with you this entire time.” Grayson said just loud enough for me to hear.
“Grayson.” she said shocked.
please don’t say you love him too.
“Grayson.” she said again.
“Ethan doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone who knows you inside and out, you deserve someone who sees all of your quirks and admires them. You deserve someone who’s seen you on your worst days and is in love with you regardless.” Grayson said taking another step in her doorway.
He was right, I didn’t deserve her.
“someone like you?” she said in a low voice.
“someone like me.” Grayson said.
I felt the tears fall from my eyes as I walked away. I blew it and now I was too late to fix it. We could have been happy, I know that. It is perhaps the hardest thing to know.
#olivarry is like a married couple#like barry hogs all the covers of the bed and oliver constantly complains#only that happens with villains and whose ass they kick#lol#excuse you barry oliver needs to kick some ass too