for those who prefer dom

  • gisele: are you one of those boys who prefers cars to women
  • dom: i'm one of those boys who appreciates a fine body, regardless of the make
  • me: dominic toretto fucks cars
random thoughts

haha i see a lot of people like the experienced!China headcanon!

I mean seriously, yes why not? This dude is not only 4000 plus years old, but had bosses who had like harems with hundreds of concubines- he just couldn’t be innocent about bedroom affairs even if he wanted to. Like 2000 years ago the Taoists in China believed sex was good- especially for men- because it replenished their lifeforce (even though they thought they should minimise ejaculation- sperm = lifeforce). But the energy from lovemaking produced some kind of vitality that would replenish it so sex = good. I mean contrast that with the European Catholic doctrine that saw sex for purposes other than procreation as a sort of carnal depravation and generally sinful. So, that’s one reason why I just can’t get behind the idea of uke!China. 

Also I guess I actually hate the “seme/uke” concept itself with a burning passion because it has become very much associated with a harmful, simplistic and distorted view of the power relations within same-sex relationships. Because “seme/uke” (at least how it mostly appears in bad fanfics that use the terminology) suggests that a receiving partner is submissive, and that this “submissiveness” in the bedroom for some reason extends to every aspect of their relationship. That’s why I prefer those who use terms like “dom/sub”- they tend to make an effort to show that being a dom in bed doesn’t mean you are a domineering or abusive douche and a sub doesn’t equate to suffering kind of horrible, virginal battered person syndrome. 

In general I really hate it because it seems to be an artificial transplantation of the blushing schoolgirl/domineering boy gender roles on a same-sex relationship. Horribly reductionist- not just because it’s cramming a distinctly heterosexual dynamic into a same-sex context that suggests that all relationship dynamics MUST have a traditionally “male” and “female” role. It’s also because it tends to butcher the “submissive” character’s characterisation. It makes a character who is actually assertive into some kind of passive non-entity for the sake of contrasting with the more “dominant” person. That’s boring and stupid because healthy relationships are between people who aren’t afraid to speak their mind to one another. The character may be more stoic or quiet by nature, but that isn’t the same as being shy or passive. I feel like in APH the two biggest victims are usually Yao and Arthur- and it’s a darn shame. It makes these characters boring- and the “seme” Ivan and Alfred boring too. And that’s