calum imagine / heartbreaker
i’m so sorry i haven’t posted anything new in a while, so here is something little to make up for lost time!
You weren’t sure what you and Calum were exactly. You had been friends with him and the boys for years, ever since primary school, back when you were still throwing clumps of dirt and mulch at eachother on the playground.
However, years passed and feelings changed, and it was becoming harder and harder to deny your romantic feelings for him. You had grown to feel more for him than just friends as the years went by. You’d always been the closest to Calum, considering the two of you were friends before he even met Luke, Michael, and Ashton. You sometimes had hope that he would realize how much he cares for you and come running into your arms, however, you knew in your heart that this was not a fairy tale. The beating of your heart in your ears whenever he was around only confirmed to you that your feelings for him were not going to fade easily, either.
You had lost all hope of ever being with him. He was always searching for a new hook up, or a new exciting sexual endeavor. As he grew, he developed a personality that you never thought he would. He was more popular than ever, always attending parties and keeping a stash of alcohol and cigarettes hidden in his closet. You, however, were just an average student. You weren’t being pined over by many, or being constantly asked when you were throwing your next rager. You often wondered why Calum even continued to be your friend, considering that all of his other friends were so different from you. However, Calum never once considered ditching you, which he had to reassure you of many times.
One night when you were sitting on the couch with him in his basement with the
TV flickering in the darkness, you’d asked him, “Why don’t you treat me like other girls? I mean, usually you would have been in and out of my pants by now.” Calum only took a deep breath and said, “You’re not like the other girls,” as he continued to watch the movie. He had said it in a way that made you wonder what he meant. What if he liked you too? What if he was always thinking about you, and wishing he could be with you? However, as months passed, you knew your earlier questions were irrelevant. He felt nothing for you, and he never would. He continued hooking up with almost every girl in your class except for you. Even though you did not want to be another meaningless hook up to him, you wondered why he hadn’t tried. Was there something wrong with you? Did he find you unattractive?
You sighed and shut your eyes, desperately wishing that one day, he could see you the way you see him.
Around the time of September, Calum had been walking across the quad with you, your books clutched against his chest as he tried to sneak in a quick smoke.
“You coming to my party on Friday night?” he asked. You instantly said no, knowing that you would have no one to talk to. Parties were not your thing, and none of your friends went anyway. Calum frowned.
“You never come, Y/N. Come on, it will be fun, I promise.” He said almost pleadingly, as he took a drag of his cigarette. You looked into his eyes, and found yourself telling him yes without thinking.
He smiled in satisfaction and tossed his cigarette into the grass before telling you goodbye and heading to meet up with Luke, Michael, and his other friend Noah on the opposite side of the courtyard. You watched him as he left, your books suddenly feeling extremely heavy in your arms.
“Y/N!” Calum shouted to you as you walked into the living room. The party had been going on for a couple hours. You had decided to come a little late, so that you wouldn’t have to stay long.
Calum stood up from the couch where he was sitting between two girls who you did not recognize. You paid them no mind as Calum stood up and guided you into the kitchen where the counters were overpopulated with alcohol of many varieties. The music was not as loud as you remembered it to be, having only come to one of his parties before.
Calum poured something into a cup and handed it to you. You looked at him questioningly before shaking your head. You were a lightweight, and the last thing you wanted was to get drunk and do something embarassing.
“Just one. Let loose, Y/N,” he said. Calum kept his hand extended, signaling that he wanted you to take it from him. You sighed and took it, before taking a sip.
Calum smiled and took a drink of his own, before stalking off in the direction of the living room. You glanced around and noticed that there was once again, absolutely nobody that you knew. You sighed and went up to Calum’s bedroom to hang out there. You knew it was a mistake to come here as soon as you walked in, but you had to keep reminding yourself that this was what Calum wanted, and that you could not go back on your word.
You sat on his bed and pulled back the blanket, before scrolling through your phone absentmindedly.
Your mind drifted back to Calum. You hadn’t seen him since he had gotten you a drink almost an hour ago. You wondered what he was doing. Was he downstairs looking for you? Was he currently searching for a new girl to fuck tonight? Was he in the kitchen, taking a shot off of some girls stomach? You did not know, and you didn’t care to know. Your last assumption had made you sick.
You locked your phone and pulled the blankets up under your chin. You took one last sip of the drink Calum had gotten you, and curled up comfortably inside his sheets.
You had not even realized you’d fallen asleep until about three hours later, when the opening of a door woke you. You sat up, almost forgetting where you were, until you glanced around and saw the familiarity of Calum’s room. The posters, the comfort of his sheets, and his dirty clothes scattered on the floor.
Your eyes snapped to the doorway where Calum stood, rubbing his eyes tiredly. You were slightly surprised to see him without a girl attached to him, yet happy nonetheless. He looked up and grinned when he saw you.
“Hey, there you are,” he said. “I wondered where you ran off to.” You grinned tiredly and ran your fingers through your hair. Calum shut the door behind him. You glanced at the clock to see that it was 3 am. The party sounds seemed to have greatly died down, so you figured Calum was coming to bed for the night. He plopped down onto the bed next to you and nuzzled his head into your neck. You let out a shaky breath and ran your fingers through his hair.
Calum stayed silent for a few minutes, before looking up at you. You noticed his eyes on you and glanced down to see him staring at you. You smiled and he kept his eyes on yours.
You hadn’t even noticed he had been moving closer until your lips met his.
It was like no kiss you had ever experienced before. Everything seemed to come together perfectly, and you couldn’t deny how great it felt to move your lips against his, and run your fingers through his hair. As things grew more heated, Calum flipped so that he was hovering over you. You kissed him with all that you had, tasting the smoke and alcohol on his lips.
Suddenly, you realized that the only reason this was happening was probably due to his current state. He was tired and desperate. You knew him better than anyone else, and when he consumed even the smallest amount of alcohol he became extremely horny and needy. You wanted with everything in you to pull away from him, to tell him that you were both going to regret this tomorrow, and that this could ruin your friendship forever.
However, you didn’t.
You woke the next morning feeling different to say the least. You opened your eyes and struggled to adjust them to the light pouring in the window behind the bed.
That was when you remembered you didn’t have a window behind your bed. But Calum did.
Memories of the night before came back to you. Calum kissing you, his hands gripping your hips, and running across the curve of your skin. The overwhelming scent of cigarette smoke and cheap booze. It sent a chill down your spine, and you turned over to see Calum sleeping soundly, his lips slightly parted.
“Shit.” you whispered, as you rolled out of the bed. Your phone signaled that it was nine in the morning, and that you had to be at work in an hour. You scrambled around his room as fast as you could, gathering your clothes and sliding them on yourself. You glanced back at Calum sleeping soundly and decided not to disturb him. You were terrified that he would not remember what happened last night and that if he did, he would reject you. Your worst fear was him regretting sleeping with you, or ignoring you afterward. You only hoped he would wake up and recall all that had happened.
With one last longing glance at the bed, you walked out and silently shut the door behind you.
- It was now Tuesday, and Calum had not made an effort to contact you. You called him twice since Saturday morning, but he never answered or returned your calls or texts. He was not even at school on Monday. Your worst fear was coming to life in front of you. Calum was ashamed of what he had done with you and he didn’t want to speak to you.
You walked across the quad silently, struggling to hold your tears in. Your assumptions had been true. Calum had remembered and he was too disgusted with himself to bother contacting you.
You suddenly stopped walking when you spotted him.
Calum stood on the opposite side of the courtyard with Luke and Michael, Noah being absent from he group today. You trained your eyes back on your shoes and silently prayed no one would notice you. You didn’t think you could handle any further embarrassment or anyone finding out that Calum had completely dumped you.
You kept walking with your heart heavy in your chest, and you knew what you had to do. You needed to clear your conscience and sort through this with him once and for all. You did not want your cherished and fragile friendship being thrown away just because you had hooked up once out of the many years you’d been friends, and if you knew Calum as you thought you did, he wouldn’t either.
You sat on Calum’s bed nervously, memories of the night before slowly creeping up on you, intoxicating your senses. You took a deep breath and tucked your hair behind your ears, trying to formulate what to say to him once you saw him. Ever since you had let yourself upstairs a half hour ago, you’d been nervously tapping your foot on the floor and waiting for him to return from soccer practice. You were admittedly terrified of what he would say, but you knew this was a conversation the two of you needed to have.
Your heart fell into your stomach when you heard a stir from just outside the door, signaling that Calum was home. You felt your throat grow tight and you suddenly felt nausea creeping up on you.
The door swung open. You’d expected to see Calum standing in the doorway coated in sweat, with his sports bag slung over his shoulder. You would have expected him to grin, frown or have some sort of reaction when he saw you. However, you were the one with the reaction.
Calum was still clad in his soccer uniform, tightly gripping onto another girl’s hips. Her fingers were running through his hair just as yours had. His hands were running all over her body just as he had done to you. His face was contorted in pleasure just as it had been on the night you’d both shared, which you thought had been full of love and passion.
You never knew seeing Calum with someone else could hurt this much.
Calum slowly fluttered his eyes open and instantly shoved her away when he saw you standing at the foot of his bed now, with tears forming in your eyes. A panicked expression instantly came across his face as he tumbled over his words, desperate for an explanation. However, you didn’t need one. This was exactly what it looked like, and none of his filthy words could get him out of this situation. The look on his face confirmed that he had remembered everything that happened between the two of you.
“I thought I wasn’t like other girls,” was all you managed to choke out before shoving yourself out of the door.