for the eleventh time i shit you not this show is my life


Eleventh Doctor Oneshot/ X-reader.

A/n: Sooooo, Doctor Who is on in a little while and I’m just real excited. I wanted to write something and I literally just came up with this hella fast so yeah, I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading. Hope you all enjoy the new season! 

Summary: Both the Doctor and reader have a crush on each other, the reader has been travelling with the Doctor for a year now and he wants to take the reader somewhere special. The Doctor finds this beautiful planet that made him think of you but little does he know what the events of that planet will conclude. 

Tags: Springtime, mild smut?

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol abuse, language, make-out session, mild smut? 

Words: 1.25K


You’ve been travelling with the Doctor for a while now, a year to be exact, and there has never been a time in the whole twenty-five years that you have been alive that you have loved someone to this extent.

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Don’t you think he looks tired?

Originally posted by just-a-crazy-nerd

(or, why anna is super fucking excited that chris chibnall is the new show runner of doctor who)

Preemptive warning that this is a huge fandom switch, guys. I know, I know, I’m a Star Trek blog, but Anna was a Doctor fan first, and the Whovian blood runs deep. Point being, if you’re here for McCoy, skip this one. If you’re a fan of Anna’s Overanalyzing, Doctor Who, Chris Chibnall, RTD, or even The Moff, stick around, because this is the post for you. 

Below the cut, Anna discusses the merits of the Russel T. Davies era, the strengths and shortcomings of Steven Moffat’s vision of the Doctor, the many shining qualities of BBC’s Broadchurch, and her hype for Chris Chibnall as the new Doctor Who show runner.

(holy hot damn, I’ve outdone myself this time)

I am getting really fucking sick of the Doctor, guys.

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Meant to Be

Characters: Jim Kirk x Reader

A/N: this is for my dear @starshiphufflebadger ‘s birthday challenge! I’m so sorry it’s a day late, but like i said, there was a massive storm that knocked out my power and wifi for like, an entire day.  So that was fun. But here it is! My prompt was: 

“You know, we could get arrested for this.”

“That’s what makes it fun.”

this is a soulmate modern AU, just so y’all know :) this was a lot of fun! And Happy Birthday, Dani!!! 

Warnings: angst, a lil bit o fluff, language….more angst…..i’m sorry

Words: 1656 (sorry it’s so short :/)

tags: @feelmyroarrrr @sistasarah-sallysaidso @daybreak96 @doct0rstrange @outside-the-government @yourtropegirl @captainumeboshi

“Ow! You’re on my foot, asshole.” You give Jim a shove and he stumbles into the fence, rattling it loudly.

“What the fuck,” he hisses, throwing a hand out to help himself up, causing the fence to create an incredible amount of noise.

“Someone’s gonna hear us if you keep being so loud!”

Jim levels a glare at you, then straightens his jacket.  You both crouch back down into the brush and watch the other side of the fence, just as a security guard walks by with a flashlight.  You take a sip of your coffee and Jim rolls his eyes.

You know, we could get arrested for this,” he whispers.  He sounds more than a little nervous, but you just huff out a laugh.

That’s what makes it fun.” You give him the side eye and a grin, but he just shakes his head at you.  “Oh, lighten up, Jimmy.  It’s not like we’re stealing the crown jewels or something. This is completely harmless.”

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many highlights from The Eleventh Hour from a first-time TAZ listener
  • featuring bits from Lunar Interlude III: Rest and Relaxation
  • oh god is this lunar interlude a goddamn ASMR experience
  • are carey fangbattle and killian dating?
  • i’m almost 100% sure griffin said “fisticups” instead of “fisticuffs”
  • griffin: “okay, you spend the next few weeks learning from carey” oh, okay griffin, i see, we’re taking the LAZINESS route on this campaign now. maybe there were some good snorlaxes to catch on that route or something, but now we’ll never know!
  • a semi-incomplete list of words that griffin has made up during TAZ: “cruft, geezers creezers, and scrumbled” except scrumbled was stolen from justin
  • my first thought when i realized taako and sweet ango were going to be spending this interlude together was “oh no taako is about to just bully the goddamn earwax out of sweet ango”
  • I JUST REALIZED ANGUS MACDONALD IS 10 GODDAMN YEARS OLD. where are his parents??? he had a grandpa who died, right? who’s taking care of him? did lucretia kidnap him to illegally “employ” THIS LITERAL CHILD at the bureau of balance??
  • taako just called sweet ango “agnes”
  • the Hole-Thrower is a goddamn genius object but i wish it wasn’t just for “non-magical, non-living” things bc i wanna see taako throw a hole into an enemy
  • magnus: “i want a black mastiff” griffin: “but you know, theres’s no dogs on the moon!”
  • the grubby grifters went over budget at the fantasy costco and griffin’s voice like animorph-style changed into garfield the deals asshole‘s voice and im like. uncomfortable
  • travis: “i’m now a level 8 fighter and a level 2 rogue” “which i think makes sense for magnus bc you’re a protecting guardian but you’re also kinda a nasty boy on that battlefield”
  • the grubby grifters are the only bureau employees not to be super choked up about boyland’s death and im like “hey maybe you assholes shouldn’t have tried to desecrate his crystalized corpse”
  • if the voidfish is either nice or neutral, then it singing to magus is adorable
  • if the voidfish turns out to be evil, then it singing to magnus is super super ominous
  • the director: “avi had to miss boyland’s rites of remembrance” merle: “i didn’t know that was an option"
  • names suggested for the woven gulch before griffin decided that: dry bones, gucci gulch, the taint, the devil’s taint, ravine, gulch, the blasted lands, the not-blasted lands, the flavor-blasted lands, the grandd canyon (not a typo), the taco bell grande canyon, the arid waste, tattoine
  • all the grubby grifters: “SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS!”
  • taako: “thanks garfield, can we leave now?” “I WISH YOU WOULD”
  • sweet ango has to launch the grubby grifters down to the woven gulch and he’s so terrified and im like ango, they should be more nervous, they’re yOUR BULLIES!!
  • magnus: “we don’t have to mean EVERY time!” okay, magnus, that’s rich coming from you, seeing as you’ve been the worst to angus
  • travis: “you as the DM didn’t remind your players” griffin: “oh i didn’t know this was a baby game for CHILDREN”
  • magnus: “what it we just didn’t attack them this round and just saw what they did?” merle: “WHO ARE YOU??”
  • griffin: “it’s kind of rustic” magnus: “FINALLY, MY RUSTIC FOLK HERO THING WILL WORK AND PEOPLE WILL LIKE ME!!!”
  • “by their sacrifice, our home is made safe” WHAT THE FUCK!
  • griffin: “where the robe it, it has been stained or oxidized, turning it a bright crimson red" “oh……the bad guys…” YALL THAT’S SO. THAT’S SOME SHIT. THAT’S SOME MYSTERIOUS SHIT
  • taako: “okay, cool, I’m not into labels either” yooooooo 
  • i googled the map griffin made for the town of Refuge and hot damn, that’s a well made map
  • magnus: “i rolled a 10 [on a perception check]” griffin: “you’re in a prison cell with bars on it” merle: “i rolled a 1″ griffin: “you are in a cube shaped place”
  • griffin: “and then all three of you, have died” WHAT IN THE FUCK????? WHAT THE HELL??? WHAT????
  • the fact that paloma sounds like bjork tells me that griffin is just straight up running out of different accents
  • [merle continues to sing to the tune of book of mormon] travis: “clinton. you just got clocked by a shovel”
  • justin: “i’m gonna delete the video i was making about how to do an infinite diamond glitch in the adventure zone”
  • griffin: “there are many rocks piled up” justin: “mini rocks are actually called pebbles, griffin”
  • griffy set up this quarry locker room tripwire puzzle exactly like a fucking game of hangman! the most deadly game of hangman ever
  • griffin: “lemme just say that diamonds are the currency of this town. you wouldn’t go to the US treasury to get dollars fresh from the printing press” justin: “what, you want me to get a part time job??” griffin: “i wouldn’t hate it”
  • griffin: “i just agreed to what dad said without really processing what it was that he said, and what he said was the name "bjork” as bork” clint: “you gotta watch that shit, griffin” griffin: “i was almost an accomplice to that heinous act”
  • the grubby grifters just unquestioningly trust paloma the bjork witch without any sort of investigation checks or ANYTHING and im like what if she’s evil, my dudes. what if she’s leading you astray
  • griffin: “the human spell library, clint mcelroy”
  • griffin: “if you can just instantly bring back any dead person to life, it may reduce the narrative stakes of the adventure zone podcast A BIT!” AH SHIT SON!!
  • magnus: “im gonna….cut his arm off” griffin: “OH MY GOD!! YOU LOVE THIS SHIT! YOU’RE A PERVERT! YOU’RE EXPOSING EVERYONE TO YOUR FETISH!!”
  • istus is cool and awesome and she knits but all this shit she’s talking about it is just context-less gibberish
  • hot damn yall. this time chalice is trying to PERSUADE the grubby grifters and my evil bullshit meter thinks this is SUPER HELLA SUSPENSEFUL
  • damn this chalice is so tempting. i can’t even imagine
  • these backstories are heartbreaking. im blown away by the way the mcelroys have crafted this part of the story, and so so sad. especially about magnus
  • “its not what julia would want” travis stop making me feel these things
  • magnus: “noelle ended up with a new shiny robot body!” taako: “an unkillable robot! I’d call that an upgrade!”
  • oh no the chalice is forcing them to watch the destruction of phandolin, what an asshole
  • magnus: “i’m gonna throw a whole bunch of robot arms into him” griffin: “okay, so you just have a hefty bag full of roboid arms??” 
  • merle: “we owe a big one to penumbra" magnus: “paloma”
  • magnus: “we gotta jump” roswell: “this is a shitty shitty shit shit plan, i hope you know that” i love roswell’s instinctive reaction when presented with a dumb idea, which is to respond with pure immediate honesty and tell the grubby grifters that their ideas are dumb as hell
  • this worm fight is bizarre as fuck, what the fuck are they even DOING???
  • aw the weird worm just wanted to escape the bubble so it could get back to its babies! that’s…almost adorable. if it wasn’t a giant fucking worm
  • oh good. the red robe is back. cool cool cool cool cool
  • magnus: “you’re proud of us? what? you’re a red robe, you’re one of the bad guys?” the red robe: “who told you that?”
  • the red robe said “lup, they don’t trust me. lup i can’t do it anymore” and “the next time we meet, i’ll need you to trust me completely. the hunger is almost here, and all this could be lost” YALLL IM CONFUSED ASSSS FFFUCKKKK BUT IM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHOEVER THE FUCK THIS PARSELTONGUE MOTHERFUCKER IS!!
  • well taako got a prophecy saying he would one day get power from “the man wreathed in flames” so like im pretty goddamn sure the parseltongue motherfucker is barry bluejeans. there’s a lich around, barry got blasted to hell by gundren rockseeker, and the red robe wants the grubby grifters to trust him, so like 2+2+2 probably equals barry fucking bluejeans here
  • the fact that they got to watch over the town of refuge for 7 years was soooooo sweet!!!!
  • hot damn the red robe’s been protecting magnus this whole time???
  • travis asking istus why there’s long gaps in their memories like hey trav griffy doesn’t want you or me or anyone else to know yet, but good try!
  • magnus: “if you get bored, there’s this half-moon thing in the sky, you can come hang out with us” taako: “yeah most birds can fly to the MOON!”
  • kravitz!!! anytime kravitz shows back up is a GOOD GODDAMN TIME!! because i love kravitz
  • the red robe in the statue in Refuse HAS MAGNUS’S FACE!!!
  • i have literal goddamn chills. that is so good
  • this was a very odd meandering arc and i didn’t know what the hell was going on half the time but it was super super super enjoyable and some of the plot shit got me HYPED AS HELL

So there’s not a lot of stuff in this particular internet corner, but somehow there is a higher proportion of That Good Shit, so since this seems to be going around, I thought I’d put together my own (not at all) brief list of things to read if you like The Adventure Zone Dungeons and Dragons Podcast Brought To You By Totino’s™.

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#11 Auston Matthews

Can I have a Auston Matthews request where you two don’t get along but one of his girl best friends comes down to Toronto and you get jealous, have another fight about it, then admit your love to each other? Sorry that’s a lot to take in, hope it makes sense!

idek fam

Originally posted by brandoncarlo

“you know if he bothers you that much, you could just not come.” Zach suggested from his spot beside you.

“And let him take all my friends away from me?” you scoffed. “Besides, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.”

Zach rolled his eyes at that. “Sure. I don’t get why it’s even that big of a deal. He’s a nice kid.”

You snorted at that. “He’s a pretentious douchebag.”

Zach rolled his eyes as Willy sat down on his other side, Kappy following closely behind him.

“I know that look.” Willy told you. “I bet you’re just secretly in love with him and don’t know it.” he stated, waggling his eyebrows with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes. “As if, Nylander. I have standards.”

“Can you at least be civil with him today for once?” Zach pleaded. 

“I am civil with him… as long as he doesn’t say dumb things. Which is, like, always.” you shrugged. “Not my fault.” Zach sighed and the European duo beside him snorted while you took a sip from your drink and raised an eyebrow at Zach. “What?”

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anonymous asked:

Slightly odd request but I love your head canon lists and was wondering if you could do one for some LGBT+ characters in Who? If possible New Who as I'm not all that familiar with the Classics (I'm sorry, shoot me). Only if you're able to of course, it must be really time consuming! Xoxo -a whovian who is feeling really shitty about their bisexuality today

not odd at all!!! i’m sorry you’re feeling shitty, i hope this can make you feel a little better,,, also this turned out Really long im so sorry

under the cut!!

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Of Allergies and Pseudo Adopted Cats

befitandchase​ said: So you know how everyone writes Felicity having an allergic reaction? Well, what if Oliver has one and doesn’t realize it, but Felicity does?

A loud sneeze rang out in the new and improved Arrow Cave. It was the eleventh time that he had sneezed since they reached here. Not that she was counting, except that she was because she had already said “Bless you” to him ten times, and now it was just getting weird. It also didn’t help that they had reached their new lair only 5 minutes ago, and Oliver had sneezed 11 times in those 5 minutes.

She knew something was up. Oliver Queen did not get sick. He did not do sick. Maybe it was some side effect of being stranded on that island – a good side effect, not that she knew anything about those; all the side effects she faced were always bad – and maybe fighting in the wild had developed his immune system or something like pre-historic cavemen. Which would also totally explain his caveman-like behavior. But her point still remains – Oliver Queen was never sick.

And he had been sneezing at an average rate of once every 27.2 seconds. Give or take.

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The year is almost ending, so I took the time to prepare to you a series of links that might interest you, as well as resources, books, websites and tools, hope you find some of the helpful!

But first things first, here is a list of the blogs that I personally follow

MMFD Fanfic: A Shady Lane (Ch. 2)

Hiya! Sorry I’ve been so busy that I haven’t updated this fic! This chapter focused on Finn and Rae a bit because I am so goddamned cut up about recent events. :(

Here is Chapter 1 for those who haven’t read it!


Chapter 2 

It was Christmas morning and Rae woke with a start to Christmas tunes blasting from downstairs. Too. Bloody. Early. She’d been up late trying to finish an article about her favorite underrated albums of 2005 when Finn had thrown a pillow angrily at her head to coax her back to bed.

Finn had been weird this trip, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why. Finn had eaten far too many mince pies and drank about a gallon of mulled wine the night previous. Rae had never seen him so bizarrely festive, but it was like he could not stop eating anything in sight. She figured things had been stressful at work for him and he was unwinding as best he could. Perhaps he was stressed about his Best Man’s speech he’d have to give at the wedding. Or maybe he was just antsy about being back in Lincolnshire like the rest of them.

Rae rolled over to fish her mobile phone from the edge of Finn’s childhood bed. She rubbed her bleary eyes to see she had missed a few calls from Archie.

Finn burst into the room, mug of eggnog in his hand. “Wake up, Rae! Your mum and Karim are already here.“ 

“Jesus, they’re fucking early.” 

Rae dragged herself out of bed and checked her reflection in Finn’s mirror, still covered in band stickers from yesteryear. She decided to forgo a shower and just pulled a knit hat over her hair and threw on a jumper over a short maroon dress. Fuck it.

“Good morning!” she said brightly, kissing her mum and Karim as she entered the living room.   The crackle of nervous energy in the room was palpable – her mum was still upset they were staying at the Nelsons. 

“Good morning, love,” simpered Rae’s mum. “We’ve missed you these last few days. We’re just around the corner, aren’t we?”

Rae fought the urge to roll her eyes, but met Finn’s gaze. He choked on a swallow of eggnog and evacuated himself to the kitchen to help his dad with Christmas dinner.

Rae flopped down on the couch, gesturing for her mum to come sit by her. “Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Rae tried to ignore the awkward juxtaposition between her mum and Finn’s step-mum, who couldn’t be more different. Margaret Nelson was a posh, sophisticated solicitor with a sleek short haircut and a long tasteful jumper that wrapped her slight frame. Rae’s mum had a ridiculous snowman jumper on with fuzzy little baubles tacked on every which way and a cheeky sequined Father Christmas hat crammed on her head.  

Rae limped her way through awkward conversation for about an hour before finding an opportunity to sneak away to the kitchen. Rae snuck in to see Finn and his dad in what looked like a deeply serious conversation. They broke apart instantly upon Rae’s arrival and his dad bent over to check the turkey while Finn stirred a pot on the stove with too much vigor. 

“Is something wrong?” asked Rae.

Finn looked back at her, pale and sweaty.

“Nothing. Just, er, finishing up supper.”

“Why don’t you gather everyone at the table, Rae?” said Finn’s dad warmly. Rae hesitated and then slunk out of the room. Something was definitely up with Finn. Was he embarrassed by her mum? Rae thought that Finn and her mum had always gotten on quite nicely, considering her mother was a stage four lunatic.

Rae spent the entirety of Christmas dinner trying to decrypt Finn’s enigmatic funk. What could he say to his dad he couldn’t say to her? They’d spent the last few months really working on their communication skills, which really had always been the crappiest aspect of their relationship in previous iterations. Lately, it felt like they’d been best friends – telling each other everything. So what is his fucking deal now?

“Aren’t you hungry, Rae?” whispered Finn. She’d been pushing her food around with her fork and hadn’t really eaten any of her plate. She glanced around to see that almost everyone was on his or her second helping.

“I’m fine.” He looked at her significantly.

“I can wrap it up and you can eat it later. When everyone’s gone.” He mumbled, trying hard not to draw attention. 

“I’m okay. I just got a lot on my mind, I suppose.” She tucked in for a big bite to demonstrate her okay-ness.

He smiled at her warmly and felt for her hand under the table. 

After they’d finished their pudding, watched all the Christmas specials, and bid Rae’s family goodnight, Rae settled next to Finn on the floor of his childhood bedroom, holding a square package in her hand, wrapped in bright paper. He seemed to be sweating again. He’d changed the record in his turntable about five times before finally settling on a CD: The Life Aquatic by Seu Jorge.

“Ooh la la, Finnley.”

He just swallowed a swig of what had to have been his eleventh beer today. By Rae’s reckoning, he had been completely fucked for the last few hours. 

“Happy Christmas,” she said. Finn laughed and produced a similarly shaped package from under his bed. 

“Happy Christmas, girl.”

They swapped packages and opened them up. Finn unwrapped a copy of The Sunset Tree by The Mountain Goats.

“This is brilliant!” 


“Yeah! Now go on and open yours.”

Rae looked down to see an LP of The Woods by Sleater-Kinney. 

“Oh, I love it! I haven’t got this on vinyl!”

Finn smiled and looked down at the floor. “I got it at a show when I were in Leeds and I’d been holding on to it. It just made me think of you. You and other badass womenfolk.” He laughed awkwardly as his voice went higher then he’d probably liked.

Rae felt something inside her swell up, a memory from a long time ago, and she pressed her lips gently against Finn’s.

 “So you like it then?” he whispered.

“Of course, silly. Why wouldn’t I?”

“My dad was saying it was a bit of a crap present to give the lady in your life…Thought I oughta got you summat nice or whatever.”

“Bollocks. I absolutely love it.”

Finn laughed and leaned in to kiss her again. The kiss began to heat up, and he fumbled to pull her jumper over her head when there was a soft thud on his window. They separated. Another thud hit the window. Finn and Rae scrambled onto his bed to see the heavily bundled silhouette of someone lobbing a pebble through the air. Finn wrested the window open. 

“Oi! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

The figure pulled down his hood to reveal spectacles and a wooly hat.

“Archie?” exclaimed Finn and Rae in collective confusion.

“I need to talk to you!”


“Why didn’t you just knock on the door, mate?” Finn was starting to feel a little annoyed. It was 10 o’clock. On Christmas. Surely Archie could have waited until tomorrow.  Not when Finn was about to take the craziest chance of his entire fucking life. There was a lump in his throat that he couldn’t swallow away. He kept coughing and trying to choke it down with another swig of beer. He felt like fish, flopping on a deck gasping for air. 

“Right, well, I’ve been calling Rae’s mobile since yesterday. I’m not thinking straight, am I?”

“S’pose not.” What the fuck was Archie on about? He didn’t have a track record for being the most dramatic person (Chop and Chloe tied for that one) so he was sure something was definitely up.

They were huddled on the floor of Finn’s room. Rae had gone off to make Archie a cup of tea, swearing Archie to hold his tongue until she returned. So they sat there, framed in awkward silence. Archie had wrapped himself up in Finn’s old ET: The Extra Terrestrial sleeping bag and looked like he was gonna be sick.

Rae returned, balancing the cup of tea and pushing it into Archie’s hands. Archie swallowed a sip graciously.

“Alright. I’m not really sure how to put this…”

Spit it out, tosser. I got shit to do, thought Finn.

“…But can we change this? It’s too bloody confusing hearing Bowie songs in another language.” 

Finn felt a ridiculous rage boil in his stomach. What the fuck was Archie doing coming round his in the middle of the night and deciding to change the music? Rae reached for her copy of The Woods and before he could think up something better, Finn found himself in the air, pulling the record from her hands, screaming, “NOOOOOO!” 

“What the actual fuck, Finn?” said Rae, equal parts horrified and amused. 

“I just…want…to…listen to…my Christmas present.” He pushed past her and slammed Seu Jorge out of the CD player. That was fucking smooth. He laid his gift for Rae very carefully on the table behind his turntable and sighed. He’d dropped the needle on, “You or the Memory” and turned to Archie, who sat up straighter after Finn’s outburst.

“Alright, Archer. Out with it,” said Finn as he squeezed next to Rae.

“I…am in love.” 

There was a long silence after that. Finn turned to Rae, whose face went through about 40 different emotions before landing on one that was a brilliant mix of excitement and fondness. Finn turned back to Archie.

“No shit, man? Who is it then?”

Rae slapped Finn, which he found unusually irritating.

“Ch-Chop’s cousin. Devon.”

“Oh my god! The fitty from the pub?” exclaimed Rae. 

Oi, what fitty at the pub? Who was Rae calling a “fitty”? Finn searched his recollection of the other night (which proved difficult because his face was burning with moderate intoxication) until he remembered a lad Chop had introduced him to. A lad he couldn’t even remember Archie speaking with. 

“Well…you only bloody met this bloke. From the pub the other night?” said Finn.

Rae looked like she was going to slap him in the face this time.

“Finn’s been drinkin’ all day, Archie. Don’t mind him. This is terrific!”

“I’m just sayin’, are you sure it’s love? If you met him two days ago?” said Finn.

“Archie can be in love with whomever he wants. That’s his decision,” argued Rae. 

“Do you even know if he’s gay yet?”

“Pretty sure,” said Archie. 

“How sure?” 

“Like, I-have-an-intimate-knowledge-of-his-aftershave sure.”

Rae squealed. Finn nodded, allowing Archie a small smile. Alright, that’s something.

Finn could tell that the evening wasn’t going to go as he’d planned and resigned himself to listening to Archie and Rae gush about this Devon person until he awoke Boxing Day morning, wrapped up on the floor with Rae’s arms around him. They were wrapped up in the ET sleeping bag and Archie was inexplicably nestled in his bed. No matter what happened, thought Finn, they were always going to be bloody roommates. 


Let me know what y'all think! The next chapter will be from Archie’s perspective. I’ve already started writing Chop and Izzy’s wedding which I think will be super fun (but I’m taking my time to get there because this is fun!)

xx cheers m'dears

title: white noise in my mind won’t calm down (you’re all i think about)
pairing: ginny/mike, bc who else?
a/n: i drank some wine, rewatched episode five and got the idea from this weeks round of prompts at pitch-fics. buckle yourselves in, homies.
prompt:  what if mike had been hooking up with ginny not amelia?

“The consequence is close to home…” Blip trailed off and Mike sends a prayer up – up to whatever fucker is there I nthe sky and controlling shit with his magic powers.

(“It can’t get out, Mike – it can’t.” She murmured to him, half asleep post orgasm number two.)

“Now I know it’s not Ginny, cause even you’re not that crazy…”

He turns away from the bartop, beer in hand and his eyes somehow connect with Blip’s. And just like that, within the span of one glance and five seconds, the veritable cat is out of the bag.

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anonymous asked:

Oh yes a thing about Moffat is both Amy and Clara have to be instantly in love with him the second they lay eyes on him. They have to shove their tongues down his throat and barely restrain themselves from raping him.. Just because Matt's attractive why is it a crime for his female companions to not want to have sex with Eleven? Why do they have to fancy him? Why can't we just see a good friendship between men and women? It's like Moffat doesn't know that platonic is an option.

Oh boy, this is gonna be a long one…

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Always a Gentleman

Prompt: reader’s male bf visits her at the tower and is really vulgar and rude and Bucky as 40s gentleman just disapproves of him while the reader just laughs watching her man scold her best friend about m a n n e r s

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, mild misogyny
Words: 1,305

A/N: I picked a random name for the reader’s best friend - I have no connection with the name “Adam,” I promise! 

You glance up from your eggs when Bucky pads into the kitchen, stretching his arms to give you a great look at the underwear peeking out from the waistband of his pants. “Mornin,” he grunts in your direction as he searches through the cupboard for a mug.

Once he’s made his coffee, he plunks down in the seat across from you, picking up the newspaper on the table to scan over the front page. You finish chewing and nod in his direction.

“What are your plans for the day?”

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When you’re arguably the biggest indie band in the world, you’re allowed to open your documentary screening with a Bukowski poem. And that’s just what Arcade Fire’s Win Butler did to intro last night’s screening of the band’s new documentary Reflektor Tapes at The Theatre at the Ace Hotel in LA. Reading from a piece of notebook paper, Butler rattled off Bukowski’s “So You Want to Be a Writer” in lieu of a traditional speech to present the 90-minute work. A little hifalutin, sure, but the words were a fitting choice for both the famously impassioned band and the Khalil Joseph-directed film, a highly-stylized, nonlinear patchwork of the group’s travels and creative process leading up to and throughout their 2014 Reflektor tour.  

The screening was followed by a Q&A led by Noisey’s own managing editor Eric Sundermann, who talked to Butler and bandmate Regine Chassagne about the story behind the film and fielded questions from the audience. Read on for the top takeaways from the night as well as photos from the event and afterparty DJ’d by Butler.

Director Khalil Joseph wasn’t a fan of the band before Reflektor.
“We kind of invited him into our world and we didn’t really know we were going to make a film,” Butler said. “For Khalil, he knew a couple of our songs, but he didn’t know any of our records. He kind of got into the band through Reflketor. So most of the songs in the film were dictated by what he was gravitating towards. I think it appealed to us to have someone who didn’t have a bunch of baggage about what our band meant. It was kind of appealing to have someone just point the camera at what he wanted to point the camera at and we just kind of did our shit and let him do his shit, pretty much. We provided the show and the locations and let him have carte blanche to put his camera where he wanted to.”

The band and Joseph looked at making the film like making an album.
“I feel like it’s a film where you can watch it again and get something different out of it [every time],” Butler said. “We kind of wanted to mirror the experience of listening to a record. Pretty much every time I listen to Blonde on Blonde, a song will come on and I’ll be like 'Right, this song is on here!’ It’s so dense that I forget even what tracks are on the record, even though I’ve been listening to it since I was 15. For [20] years I’ve been getting something out of that record. It feels weird speaking for [Khalil], but it seems like he looks at filmmaking like making a record. When we originally met him he was working for Terrence Malik in Austin as an editor. In terms of filmmakers I’ve met, I feel like Terrence Malik has the most similar working style to making a record. Because the whole thing is about trying to capture the essence of a performance, and the film kind of makes itself around the emotional truth of the moment that we get. I just feel like we had philosophical things in common, more than anything.”

Arcade Fire’s next album will be a departure from Reflektor.
The band shyed from sharing much about future projects, but when asked where they see Reflektor fitting into the band’s discography, Butler played it coy: “[It’s the] fourth one. The one after The Suburbs and before…whatever the fuck we do next. Which will be different as well. Brace yourselves.”

If they could give their younger selves career advice, they’d take it a little slower.
“Maybe, don’t do a double record and do the soundtrack to a film and have a child at the same time. It’s intense. Just pick one,” Butler said. “Or two. Because we were doing Reflketor and the soundtrack to Her and Regine was nine months pregnant and then you’re on SNL four months after. It was intense.”
Chassagne saw it differently: “But we did it. [I’d say] actually, do even more.”

The band took away many lessons from their visits to Haiti.
“When I go to Haiti it’s amazing to see a place that has almost no stuff, but all spirit,” Chassagne said. “It’s kind of something that’s really clashing when I come back. Because here’s there’s a lot of stuff, and not a lot of spirit.”

Butler’s time in Haiti was as influential to him as a musician as the first time he heard Radiohead’s The Bends.
“I remember being in rural Haiti the first time we went and there was this guy, he was an arborist. His name was 'Tit Oiseau, which means little bird in Creole. And this guy starts singing and it was like getting in a time machine and going to like pre-Delta blues, a hundred years [back]. It was the deepest music I’ve ever heard, just this guy singing a capella. Regine was translating the lyrics for me and it was about heartbreak and how hard life is. I’ve seen a lot of bands play, I’ve been exposed to a lot of music—for me, it was one of the high points of my entire musical life. I remember buying The Bends at a mall in Houston, Texas. It was this shitty mall and there was a cardboard cutout of The Bends, it was the day it came out. I had maybe seen a music video and I bought it. And I went home and I put the CD in the thing and I listened and it completely changed the way I thought about music. And this experience in Haiti for me was an equivalent experience in my own personal understand of how music works.”

Becoming a parent has reshaped Butler’s perceptions of his own songs about growing up.
“The song 'The Suburbs,’ there’s a line about wanting to have a daughter, which…we didn’t have a daughter. So it comes to my mind all the time. We did the Bridge School a couple years ago and seeing Neil Young sing 'Old Man,’ which he wrote when he was 22, it almost sounds more appropriate now that he’s older. I aspire to be able to write songs that good. I think that’s a pretty good sign of good song, that you can sing it when you’re 80 and the depth of it has kind of gotten richer.”

Arcade Fire had been trying to work with Reflketor producer James Murphy since Neon Bible.
“I’d been a fan of James for a long time and we’d toured together and he actually flew up to Montreal about working on Neon Bible. We couldn’t get the schedules to work out because he was doing LCD [Soundsystem], so it was just kind of a matter of time before we did it. And then we got to be in New York with James and have David Bowie come sing on 'Reflektor’. Which, the first seven-inch that James bought when he was 14 was Bowie’s 'Fame,’ and we’re in the studio where he recorded 'Fame.’ And he was like, 'Oh yeah, the last time I was here I was in the basement and John Lennon came by and we recorded "Fame.”’ We were like, alright, cool. We’re at least in the [right] building. I hope we get to do more shit with James. It’s a pleasure.“

Writing a great song is about more than just technical prowess.
"I went to jazz school for two years before I met Win,” Chassagne said. “You can use all these chords and make the craziest composition with all these extensions and substitutions. I was listening to really far-out stuff and intellectually I was like, 'Ok, yeah, five of a five of a five and a seventh and an eleventh…’ Ok, that’s cool. But my aunt thinks this is elevator music. For me, you just have to be sincere and you just have to mean it and express something through the music. Because you do all kinds of shit, and if you don’t mean it, it’s just shit, you know?”

The band hates having their picture taken—except by Aton Corbijn.
“We really don’t enjoy having our picture taken as a band,” Butler said. “I’d say it’s one of our least favorite activities ever. It was always like the sacrifice we had to make to play music. It was like, we need band photos because there are papers and they need to advertise we’re doing a show. But then we met Anton Corbijn on the Funeral tour and he came backstage. We were used to these horrifying photoshoots where everyone’s really uncomfortable and they’re like 'Why don’t you guys hold these umbrellas? Why don’t you try this or that?’ and it’s like 'No, please, stop talking.’ But Anton came backstage and he just had his film camera and he took a lamp, told us to open our mouths like we’re singing 'Wake Up,’ and was like, click—'I got it.’ He took four photos of us and it was the best band photo of us that’s ever been taken.”

The Time Of The Doctor..........?

I’ve watched The Time Of The Doctor four times today hoping, begging that I was missing something. That I would watch it one time and everything would finally click and it would be magical, but the plot problems with this episode are hard to miss and pointing them out almost feels like kicking someone while they’re down, but I’ll do so anyway because I feel like I might explode if I don’t. Before I go into it I’ll add that I’ve loved and supported Moffat up until this point. I’ve done so to the extent that I’ve gotten into long-winded and deep meta arguments with “Moffat haters” before because I’ve always believed people were too hard on him. That was until today. I may have nothing but respect for the man, but I’m not blind. He fucked this one up and he fucked it up bad.

These are my four major and kind of unforgivable issues with the episode and the other lesser irritating things are below the cut:

  • Let’s start with the most basic and obvious one. If the Doctor doesn’t die and get buried in Trenzalore then Clara never jumps into his time stream and he never meets her at the Asylum or with the Snowmen. This means he never comes looking for her meaning she’s never there to stop him from killing the Time Lords meaning the Time Lords don’t exist anymore. He basically retconed his own retcon after a single episode. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around this one.
  • Wasn’t the whole point of the Weeping Angels that if they touch you, you’re basically kind of fucked? Clara willingly touched one and then that thing held on to her for quite a bit and nothing happened. To make matters worse, Moffat invented the damn Angels. He’s literally killing his own continuity at this point. PLEASE SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS ONE TO ME.
  • The time vortex killed Jack in Season 3 and being conceived while traveling through it made Melody/River basically half Time Lord…but Clara was somehow directly exposed for what seems to be quite a long while and survived it unscathed with nothing more than being a little cold. Good one Moff! ::bangs head against the wall repeatedly::
  • The Doctor abandons Clara after he looks her square in the eye and promises her he won’t. Not necessarily a structural problem, but as a hardcore Whouffle shipper this was just wrong on so many levels. Tasha, who is basically a stranger to Clara, had to come get her because Eleven just dumped her on her lawn and left to go back to a boy he barely really knew. He willingly hurt his Impossible Girl for a random kid. That hurt me. Deep. You just can’t develop a relationship of trust like the one these two had, have the audience believe in said relationship, and then disrespect it and betray it so deeply like this. I honestly kind of felt personally insulted by this one. Adding more insult to injury, we didn’t even get proper closure on Souffez. You don’t want to give us a kiss or big romantic love declarations? FINE. But she deserved more than the lousy “Goodbye” she got before he went to face the Daleks. They both deserved so much more. Certainly more than a childish “I fancy him” on the truth field. Where was the emotional depth this episode called for? It certainly wasn’t in the regeneration scene either…but more on that later.

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Can’t Erase Me (1/?)

This little thing got out of control and is now a short MC: 

so like, i know we broke up and stuff but funny story, i haven’t told my family yet and they just assumed you’d be coming with me for [insert family celebration] and i really don’t know how to tell them and i know this is really selfish but i can’t break my great grandma’s heart like that, she’ll probably have a heart attack and– wait what? you’d do that for me? holy shit, i love you… wait–

And I finally get to write Fake Dating so yesssss!

Thank you to @deadherokillianjones for the title. 

On ffnet here

Rated M (eventually)

Emma threw the phone on the bed a bit angrily, chickening out at the last minute again. This was the eleventh time during the day where she picked up her phone, hovered her finger over the goofy picture of the man with blue-eyes (the one contact she had promised to delete months ago but never did), and after almost touching her finger on the little green button beside his picture, shut her phone off.

It had been exactly six months, thirteen days, and four hours since Emma Swan broke up with the best thing that ever happened to her. Happiness and love flooded her life in the forms of a cocky blue-eyed and scruffy jawed Brit lawyer almost two years ago.

The first time Emma flirted with Killian Jones was on a beautiful autumn day when she had accidently gotten confused between him and a sleazy douchebag she was supposed to bring in to the station (not her fault that the only description she got was blue eyes and British accent). Throughout the time they both spent in that cute little coffee shop, she could feel his eyes on her, watching and admiring, while she was scanning the area and trying to figure out whether he was her paycheck. After he invited himself over to her table, with two coffees, a grin, and a compliment, she flirted right back with him, loosening him up a bit.

Once he was completely relaxed, and she made a show of being late to her work (she owned a bakery this time), he offered to walk her to her car, falling completely in her trap. As they reached her yellow bug, him complimenting her on her taste in vehicles and color, she grabbed his bicep and pushed him harshly to her car, trapping his lean body between her car and herself. Her front was tightly pressed to his back and she was holding his wrists behind him.

“I didn’t expect you liked it rough, Swan” he smirked, turning slightly in her hold and winking at her.

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can’t erase me - 1/10

so like, i know we broke up and stuff but funny story, i haven’t told my family yet and they just assumed you’d be coming with me for my parent’s anniversary celebration and i really don’t know how to tell them and i know this is really selfish but i can’t break my mother’s heart like that (more like father’s really), they’ll probably have a heart attack- and wait what? you’d do that for me? holy shit, i love you…wait-

So this is the story I used for my @captainswanbigbang. I have published 2 chapters before but my lovely beta recommended some changes so now I’m publishing from the beginning since its improved! On ffn here.

I’d like to thank my beta @blessed-but-distressed​ for everything she’s done and it has been more than just beta’ing. This story wouldn’t have been this if it weren’t for her! 

Also thank to @captainodonoghue for this amazing and lovely gifset she’s made which really does capture this fic so brilliantly <3 (go look at it and send her some love!)

Chapter 1

Emma threw the phone on the bed a bit angrily, chickening out at the last minute again. This was the eleventh time during the day where she picked up her phone, hovered her finger over the goofy picture of the man with blue-eyes (the one contact she had promised to delete months ago but never did), and after almost touching her finger on the little green button beside his picture, shut her phone off.

It had been exactly six months, thirteen days, and four hours since Emma Swan broke up with the best thing that ever happened to her. Happiness and love flooded her life in the forms of a cocky blue-eyed and scruffy jawed Brit lawyer almost two years ago.

The first time Emma flirted with Killian Jones was on a beautiful autumn day, when she had accidently gotten confused between him and a sleazy douchebag she was supposed to bring in to the station (not her fault that the only description she got was blue eyes and British accent). Throughout the time they both spent in that cute little coffee shop, she could feel his eyes on her, watching and admiring, while she was scanning the area and trying to figure out whether he was her next paycheck. After he invited himself over to her table, with two coffees, a grin, and a compliment, she flirted right back with him, loosening him up a bit.

Once he was completely relaxed, and she made a show of being late to her work (she owned a bakery this time), he offered to walk her to her car, falling completely in her trap. As they reached her yellow bug, him complimenting her on her taste in vehicles and color, she grabbed his bicep and pushed him harshly to her car, trapping his lean body between her car and herself. Her front was tightly pressed to his back and she was holding his wrists behind him.

“I didn’t expect you liked it rough, Swan,” he smirked, turning slightly in her hold and winking at her.

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