for something unwelcome

I have always been tough. I have a will like steel. I am the nail and the hammer that hits it. I am the wolf. The lion. The last one standing. I do not cry in public, complain when I am hurt, or give up. I push harder. I am a fighter.

But sickness? Sickness comes for you no matter how tough you are. I can try to ignore it, to push it away, but the truth is still there, hard and edgeless: I have lost something that cannot be recovered. There is something stubborn and unwelcome in my body and it is stronger than my will.

My illness is not a death sentence, at least not an immediate one. If all goes well, I have a lot more years ahead. The struggle now is to accept the dichotomy: to be sick and still be whole. To be sick and still be tough. To be sick, and maybe even to be tougher than I was before.

Now I live side-by-side with the thing that hurts me. It is there when I laugh and kiss my boyfriend and write poetry. It is there when I take my pills, when my hair comes out in clumps, and when I can’t sleep from the pain. My sickness is there when I look in the mirror. It is not all that I am, but it is an inexorable part of me. I am finally beginning to accept that. Which is to say, I am learning to accept the world in all of its contradictions and live as best I can within them.

—  Clementine von Radics

Anonymous prompted: “Rumple has a huge cock, a really big one. Due to inexperience, he has always hurt Milah who has always belittled him. So he is very ashamed of this thing between his legs who hurt women. But Belle wants Rumple. First time smut.”

Rated NC-17. Oh my poor woobie baby Rumpel…

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Rumpel is glad that he’s a light sleeper and he always wakes before Belle does. If his body has betrayed him during the night, then he has time to do something about his unwelcome problem before Belle need ever know, because the last thing he wants is for Belle to wake up and feel this ugly thing jutting proudly into her bottom.

Since their reunion, Belle has not slept in her own room. She had nightmares that first night and crept into his bed, wanting the comfort and reassurance of his presence beside her, and they have slept together ever since.

Rumpel would not change it for the world, but he might have to, because Belle is so beautiful and his self-control is slipping bit by bit. She wears ever shorter, ever sheerer nightgowns and when she leans in to kiss him goodnight, their embraces are becoming more and more fervent. He won’t kick her out of his bed, but he will sleep elsewhere. He’s an old, selfish man, and he doesn’t trust himself not to give in. Evert night he tells himself he’ll move, and every night he can’t help but want one more night with Belle in his arms.

Keep reading

The panoramic insert background for my accordion book!  Nice little park view For Something Unwelcome style (popular in my realms of imagining the setting of the story).  Finished the outer backing both inside and out AND the davyboard cover.  I’m so great.

So I’ll be colouring and fitting the main characters in tomorrow since my OS decides I need to drop everything and reboot.  Always when I’m working in beyond 10000 pixels in CS3… MY POOR RAM, OUCH.  You’re a trooper Z61m.  You are a trooper.

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I’ve wanted to refine this concept for a while now!  Finally sat down and got it out.  I really want to push Kek’s selfish, threatening nature a lot further than I have, than I can!  He’s in the beginning stages of his true form, hasn’t absorbed into himself completely yet.  `Boutta get spooky!

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My For Something Unwelcome accordion book in its final form!  I’m actually most impressed with the fact that it stands on its own without any issues.  That is my wow factor.

It’s 7 inches tall and about 24 inches wide when completely unfolded.  The pink halftone gradient on the back is printed but the creature there (Pinq, so punny) is hand-drawn as is the rest of the book.

I want to make more.  You guys should give me money and let me make an edition for you, yeahyeahyeah? X] 

So’s then.  Stumbled upon a neat idea for Kek’s purgatory soul form with integrated Pinq.  I wanted to keep Pinq’s long eye-feelers in there but I think I’ll work in some kind of glowering jets coming from the entire eye area.  But visible only at certain angles with certain mood intensities, yeah.

Man alive, you’ll never know how hard it was to avoid giving him a sword…