for some reason that bothered me A Lot

Writing/Book Convention Organizers...please read this.

So, I’m an author (and obviously a reader), and I attend 3-5 conferences/conventions every year. Some are enormous, with attendees numbering in the thousands. Some are small, with ~100 people or so. Big or small, they’re a blast.

But something has been bothering me for the last few years, and I have a strong suspicion that I’m not alone. If you’re involved with organizing a con, please hear me out.

Readers and writers tend to be introverts. For some, it’s difficult to work up the courage to attend even a small event, and going to a larger one is incredibly daunting. The need to be ON, to interact with people, to socialize or to talk business…it’s not a *bad* thing, but it’s an intimidating one. There’s a reason why a lot of us disappear to our rooms to decompress sometimes. It’s overwhelming. Fun, yes! But overwhelming and taxing after a while.

And that’s without even taking into consideration the significant number of people in this crowd who have varying degrees of anxiety. Because there is a lot of anxiety at these cons. It can range from a minor annoyance to a massive obstacle, but it is very real and very present.

Which brings me to you, organizers.

And to a specific part of cons… Entertainment.

A lot of cons have some form of entertainment, usually in the evenings. Sometimes it’s a big dinner, or there might be some sort of performer. I’ve seen everything from Polynesian dancers to drag queens. And they’re great! They really are!

But inevitably there comes a point in the performance where the performers say the dreaded “V” word.

Volunteers.

And more often than not, they aren’t really looking for volunteers. They’re looking for someone who would really rather not go up on stage. I know I’m not the only one who’s picked up on that because whenever performers ask for volunteers, a not insignificant portion of the crowd visually shifts into “act casual act casual don’t make eye contact oh God eye contact please God don’t pick me” mode.

One of them usually winds up getting picked – the performers inevitably zero in on the people who absolutely do not want to go up there –  and while the rest of us breathe a sigh of relief it wasn’t us, there’s also that painful pang of sympathy for the unfortunate person who’s getting dragged up to the stage. They might shake their heads and protest, but they’ll get pulled up there anyway, and they’ll usually be asked to go through some kind of dance moves that they aren’t familiar with, and everyone will LOL at how silly they look trying to imitate these trained professionals.

If the person onstage is really enjoying it, then great. We can all laugh, and it’s hilarious.

But if that person is someone who’s struggled just to come to this con, and who came to the entertainment event to relax and unwind while a spotlight was pointed at someone else…

If they’re chasing Xanax with wine just to stay sane until bedtime…

If just the thought of public humiliation is enough to make them want to curl up under the table and cry…

…then it’s not funny anymore. And it’s not fun.

The thing is, someone whose anxiety is that severe is quite likely also someone who has a difficult time standing up for themselves. They’re not going to put their foot down when the entertainers are pulling them onstage and everyone else is egging them on, because then the focus will be even more intensely on them.

So, con organizers, I’m asking this small favor:

When you’re organizing entertainment for your event, just remember that anxiety exists. That people with anxiety are coming to this event and hoping for the best. Remember that being pulled up in front of dozens or hundreds of people and forced to perform for the amusement of others is a very quick way to turn a fun evening into something mortifying that leaves a person humiliated and crying in their hotel room and wondering if they even want to come back to the con the next day.

I’m not saying there shouldn’t be entertainment. I’m not saying dancers and silliness are bad. But maybe let the performers know what they’re facing. Let them know that for some of the audience, onstage participation is the exact opposite of fun. If they must bring up volunteers, take “no” for an answer (the FIRST “no”). Or maybe let people actually volunteer rather than being voluntold. Or just skip that part of the show.

But be considerate. Remember us. Remember that we’re here, and we want to have fun. Just be mindful. That’s all I’m asking.

Entertainment is fun. Humiliation is not.

Thank you.

anonymous asked:

different anon here. i kind of agree with the other one, though.... it's hard to be a part of the community fandom without seeing a disproportionate amount of j/a content already! and for some of us, it's not a sort of ship war thing (i never have issues with people shipping characters i like with 1 person with someone else). it's bc of the age difference? and i know that doesn't bother some people but like. it's /everywhere/.

I understand how much it can suck to really dislike one of the main ships for a thing, but I still don’t get being annoyed at people for enjoying a thing they like when it’s not hurting anyone. This is literally why things like Xkit and Tumblr Savior exist. If something about a ship bothers you for whatever reason, you can always blacklist tags or unfollow people who post a lot about that ship. I’m certainly not going to be insulted if you unfollow me because I post a lot about a thing you don’t like. 

Your tumblr experience should be enjoyable to you, period. If following me, or someone else, makes your tumblr experience unenjoyable, then unfollow, and cultivate a dash that you will enjoy.

anonymous asked:

Pretty explicit but my bf was fingering me and I've been kind of feeling like he only likes me because I'm willing to "put out" (but for some reason that didn't really bother me because I'm for "messing around" w/o feelings) and I had to do homework and he was all like "after this you're going to do your hw because it's a important. Don't ever let a guy mess you up in school, please." And that turned me on even more. I'm more for the "rough" stuff but I just loved how he made me feel that day 💖

That’s really cute tbh. I’m sure he likes you a lot and most guys are usually kind of not great with expressing emotions so but I’m sure he definitely cares about you a lot. Especially since he mentioned that and wants you to do well in your education 😊❤️

anonymous asked:

(2/2) im sad is because im trans and thats not right, im almost never upset bc of my transness but he wouldnt listen and now im upset again bc now i feel like ive been lying that im anxious and that i should just keep my mouth shut (also i accidentally sent the first half not on anon, could you not post that? thank you sm)

(½) this has been bothering me for quite a while. my mom made me go to the doctor to get a referral for a therapist (for depression issues) but im also decently sure i have some form of anxiety. the doctor asked me if i feel sad all the time, which i replied in fluxuating strengths. he asked if theres any other feelings iget a lot, and i told him i was anxious over every little thing and everythings overwhelming. he completely ignored that when i told him i was trans and he told me the reason

You need to find a new therapist. This is not the way someone should treat a patient. Tell your mom you don’t like the man and would feel more comfortable with someone else
-Elijah

anonymous asked:

the whole Lucy is a tsundere thing bothers me so much because she hasn't really shown that attitude? She was angry at Atsushi (for a good reason, which they worked out) and was suspicious of kyouka. not really ~tsundere~ behavior. petty tho? totally

Also she was suspicious of Kyouka and then once she found out the story of how Kyouka got her ability, Lucy was really understanding and wanted Atsushi to let Kyouka have some alone time to think about it.

Lucy is a good girl. She’s been through a lot but she cares.

Rude people.

I don’t let a lot of things bother me anymore, life is too short to be stressed and filled with hate, but one thing I can’t stand is deliberately rude people.

I remember on my recent tour of Japan there was two vegetarians on the trip, me and a friend of mine. One night we went out to eat at an Izakaya, which is a place where you drink a lot and eat many little tiny dishes of food, but for some reason my teacher though it was a good idea to bring us there even though more than half of us weren’t legally able to drink in Japan, some of us not even legal in Australia (he just wanted to get pissed tbh) but anyway, the group was separated into two groups - one room for the people who wanted to drink and one room for the non-drinkers. I went with the non-drinkers, my friend with the drinkers. 

Now normally Jacqui and I sit together because it’s easier having the vegetarians together when we eat. But after dinner was ordered I began to notice I couldn’t eat fucking anything, EVERY dish our teacher ordered for everyone was meat, except for two dishes. One was soybeans, another was corn. That’s it. That’s all I had to eat out of all sixteen dishes ordered, and worse I had no drink to fill me up with liquid. 

I encountered three very rude people that night. One rude person next to me insisted on eating all the soybeans because she loved soybeans, despite the fact that that was literally the only thing I could consume, and she knew it. Another rude person in the other room insisted on eating all the corn because she loved corn even though Jacqui didn’t have anything to eat. So Jacqui and I went hungry that night, having had no time in our tour to stop for lunch that day nor had we eaten much a breakfast because what was served at the ryokan we were staying at was fish and a piece of egg, so we’d not eaten pretty much anything that day, and even though everyone on that trip knew we were vegetarian nothing was done to help our situation. 

The third very rude person was my teacher himself, because every time we ate as a group he consistently ordered only meat dishes, ignoring that we existed, until we started vocalising our annoyance very loudly while watching everyone else eat, until eventually he let us order our own food - and then, when we were ordering our own food, the rude girl that ate the corn and didn’t let Jacqui eat any complained that we got to get our own food and she didn’t, and that she didn’t like anything that was ordered and was asking us to share our food. Like bitch no, you can actually the shit that’s being ordered, suck it up princess and try something new its not going to kill you, I however can’t eat the crap you’re eating, and if I did I would actually die so don’t complain to me and ask to eat my food.

I can’t stand people who go out of their own to be rude and obnoxious. Like you’re not needed on this planet please go away.

anonymous asked:

I like your blog and I think your are a very reasonably person so I want to ask your opinion on a question that has been bothering me . Disclaimer, I am a WOC but I am not black, I ship westallen but I also like Barry and Linda. So Do you believe a person is racist if they do not ship WA? There are a lot of non WA shippers do not ship WA because they are an interracial couple but there are also people who say they are just not into WA (some of my friends). How can you argue with them then?

No, I don’t think anyone really thinks that anyone who doesn’t ship WA is racist. That’s some bullshit that the ones who probably are racist spread to try to invalidate or criticisms of their lackluster and/or hypocritical feelings about Iris (as in a trait in the white girl is okay, but that same trait in Iris makes her a horrible person). As far as your friends, it depends on why they aren’t shipping them. I wouldn’t bother arguing with them tho, you can’t make them agree with you if they don’t want to, and a lot of times (probably most of the time) arguing only makes them dig in.

Since apparently no one bothers to read rules pages and this is becoming a massive problem on this blog for some reason, here is a reminder:

I ACTIVELY BLOCK PEOPLE WHO ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 17 THAT ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW ME

I don’t do it because I don’t like kids, I do it because with a lot of my blog themes and my penchant for writing Dark Shit  (especially lately, as I’ve zeroed in on an AU with rape/noncon elements that is only going to get worse ),  I feel MASSIVELY uncomfortable with minors following me. I will not interact with you. I will not follow you back. I do not want you here.

Yes, I understand that high-school age kids can grasp darker themes and concepts, but frankly it just makes me feel weird and uncomfortable and I’m sorry to say my comfort comes before you desire to read my shitty writing.

anonymous asked:

Hey, Saizo anon again. This probably won't make a lot of sense since you haven't played the game but I started thinking Saizo was trans from some of his support conversations. For example, he mentions in his support with Azura that he was told women were supposed to be delicate and pretty, and it made me consider that maybe that's the reason he doesn't bother healing his scars, as "proof" that he's not a girl to his family, society, whoever put that idea in his head? Like maybe whenever (1/2)

he tried doing certain things like fight or hunt maybe his clan would tell him that it wasn’t for girls, that girls were supposed to act and look a certain way, and he was just so determined not to be seen as a girl that he began to do things like not heal his scars, take on the underhanded work of a ninja, bottle up his emotions, and maybe that’s why his views on weakness and femininity are so disdainful, because he was repressed by these stereotypes… Or maybe I’m reading too much into it ;u;

!!! this sounds like a great headcanon m8, I’m glad it works for you! don’t worry about reading too much into it - a lot of headcanons are based on nothing at all :>

if you’ve got more headcanons you’d like to share, hit me up!

aashanka  asked:

18, 19, 22. Also, I can't imagine what it would be like having a bad sense of smell, I'm so sensitive to smells I can get headaches from perfumes and it sucks

my mom is really sensitive to smell so i can’t wear any perfumes or anything when i’m home. but for some reason, my sense of smell is really dull T-T on the other hand, my hearing capabilities are ridiculously good so if anyone talks shit about me, i’ll know 👀 👀

18. worst thing you’ve ever tasted? i’m so picky, i hate everything D: bananas are evil tho. 

19. do you enjoy any unusual food combinations that others find unappealing? i’m not sure really… i’m a super picky eater so i don’t have a lot of weird stuff, but i am super indian and eat pachadi (achar) with random shit so idk 

22. any specific textures that bother you? i hate pulp. but i think this means touch… i don’t like when denim brushes across my fingertips i guess? also rough canvas gives me shivers sometimes. 

i think im a Bad friend sometimes i dont get it. i dont get why i cant force myself to console someone or be rly nice or not be so bitchy w some ppl. its like i feel like i deserve better and maybe i do but that doesnt mean i can treat some ppl so poorly.. but i never do this rly so idk what im talking abt… i do deserve better friends :( i think its hard for me to be close friends w meghan for some reason and there are just a lot of things in our Past that bother me a lot abt her. but i try and ignore it.. but idk :/ whatever. i just want new friends :–((