for some reason i just love this

Let’s talk about therapy for a minute

Therapy is awful. It makes me so uncomfortable every damn week I go and I can barely look at my therapist for most sessions

It’s also the best thing that’s ever happened to me, in no small part because it’s forced me to confront the fact that having low self-esteem isn’t just a buzzword but it has actual consequences. Here are some:

- when I was a child I had eight of my teeth pulled out under anaesthesia. I’d developed an infection and they’d basically rotted in my head, because I didn’t want to bother anyone with my toothache. For six months.

- My dad loves me so much that he’s gone to court for the right to be in my life, accepted my anger and confusion after I lost him for a while and actively rebuilt a relationship with me when he had every reason not to. I’m so incapable of trusting or even understanding that kind of love that I’m actually uncomfortable around him sometimes. My dad.

- I avoid meeting my own gaze in mirrors. I’ve never bought one, and the one currently in my room is covered. I don’t ever remember enjoying looking in a mirror.

- I avoided going to the doctor when a pain in my leg wouldn’t go away. I ended up having surgery on my spine as result.

-I avoided going to the doctor when I had a chest infection. My housemate ended up taking me to A&E because I couldn’t stop coughing long enough to breathe.

- I avoided going to the doctor when…you know what, let’s just say that low self-esteem means I don’t feel like i deserve medical care and move on, shall we? I don’t have all night.

- Last week in therapy I had to write down a list of positive things about myself and I nearly had a panic attack and ran out of the room. I’m literally afraid of being kind to myself (although to be fair that one is mostly due to some lingering survival instincts from an abusive situation)

- then there’s the ever-present and nagging feeling that my entire existence, up to and including writing this very post, is at best a tolerable inconvenience and at worst a downright burden. Let’s all take a minute to follow the ‘logical’ train of thought when you dislike yourself that much and are convinced other people don’t want you to exist in the first place

yeah


Here’s why therapy is amazing. I still believe, on a fundamental level, that I have no worth as a person, but every week my therapist makes me confront that belief and helps me see that it isn’t actually true. It will be the work of years to make it stop feeling true, but the fact that I can look that far ahead, can imagine a time when I actually like myself, can want to get to that place, that’s nothing short of a miracle. For those of you who know what happened last year, you’ll probably know that I don’t have the best track record when dealing with this stuff.

Therapy makes me feel like I can. Therapy let me open up to people, become vulnerable, and all I’ve received in return is love. The kind that makes me think maybe that twisted little voice in my head is fucking liar, and I should listen to the people I love instead. That maybe they really do love me back.



(TL;DR: THERAPY IS AWESOME, EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE IT)

PSA

Welp, I’ve read your feedback. The general consensus seems to be keeping this blog open the way it is as an AU. Which is good, ‘cause that’s my favorite idea too. So that’s what’s gonna happen.

However, I do want to do something involving canon Bro. I feel a 1-2 week long event wouldn’t be enough time to cover everything involving the tragic horrific corruption of a soul. So I’m thinking I will set up a separate blog for it. That way people who would find seeing that version of Bro upsetting can avoid it by not following it or just blocking it. It will take some time to prepare and it probably won’t update as frequently for emotionally draining reasons, but I really would love to explore this darker version of Bro.

Hey y'all. Apparently SS is abusive because Sasuke didn’t try to kill Sakura ENOUGH, like he did Naruto who is “his true and only bond” which excuses how bloody SNS is for some reason. So according to SNS shippers, Sasuke only loves those he honestly wanted to kill. Lmaoooo

Sorry, I just had to share the lulziness of my stalkers.

anonymous asked:

( sorry not 5sos) im a Sophomore in high school and ive never had a boyfriend/ been kissed. Ive had a few boys interested in me but its never worked out. My friends say Im nice and funny and Ive been told Im pretty. Im friends with a few guys but I feel like most guys dont like me for some reason. Its just not easy to talk to them without feeling like Im doing something wrong. what am i doing wrong ?? aren't guys interested? i know i don't need a guy to be happy but i mean i would be nice :(

well you kinda contradicted what you said. You said a few boys are interested in you, and then asked “aren’t guys interested?” lol. Anyways, I find when you focus too much on finding love, that it never really happens. Be confident, boys are attracted to that. 

theres this one white girl in my grade that i cannot STAND but everyone loves her for some unknown reason and she posts these ‘acoustic covers’ (which is really just her strumming the same chord every 3 secs) on instagram and in the comments everyones like “😍😍😍😍😍” “YAS BITCH FUCK IT UP!!!!” but her voice be sounding like nails on a chalkboard

Thanks for your questions! Sorry for grouping you guys together. As you can see, your inquiries have a lot in common. ^^ 

I just reblogged a post from kanarenee which is essentially also my opinion on this topic. I would LOVE some more backstory about Juvia. I would LOVE to see some Gruvia element at this point. I would LOVE for Juvia to be tied into the 12 Spriggans in some way. I would LOVE for Juvia to have a bigger role in the story. But I have to join the skeptical side of this situation, and say I just can’t see Brandish having anything at all to do with Juvia at this point. dooshiedoosh also made a great post that explains the reasons why Juvia might or might not be related to Brandish, and I’m on the “against” side lol. 

Basically, I just don’t see why Mashima would bother connecting Brandish and Juvia in this arc. As kanarenee said, it just seems out of place to give Juvia backstory in a Dreyar family arc. Plus, to me, Brandish doesn’t look like Juvia anymore than Juvia looks like Lucy, and Lucy looks like Erza, and Erza looks like Mirajane, etc… They do have similar eyes, yes, but Juvia’s are now bigger and more cutesy than Brandish. And tbh, Mashima has a bad case of “same face” with his female characters. 

So, would I like Brandish to have a connection with Juvia? Sure, that’d be awesome. That’s why I think it wont happen lol. Because any chance to add something to Juvia’s backstory is something Mashima has no intention of bothering with. That’s my opinion. But if it turns out I’m wrong, and next week we see she has blue hair, water powers, sinks islands, and someone heavily hints she’s connected to Juvia? Fantastic! Bring it on! ^^

But at this point, I just feel like I don’t want to get attached to a theory, and be let down when Mashima doesn’t go that route. 

As for the chapter as a whole, I was surprised by it, because I assumed last week that Team Natsu would kick everyone’s butt, and Mest would just erase the memories of those around them, and carry on with their infiltration mission as usual. I never expected them to be caught this soon, let alone to already encounter one of the Spriggan. So, that’s all great, Hopefully they do prove to be a threat, because Mashima definitely spent time hyping them up as wizard saint level. Also, if Team A are captured, or in trouble, then it gives an excuse for Team B to get in on the action as well hee. ^-^

So, I’m looking forward to the next chapter. Hopefully the threat/tension level can remain high, and that Gajeel’s prediction of 0% success rate doesn’t get contradicted ASAP. 

University studyblrs!

Hi all, I’m reasonably new to the studyblr community (just made a blog during this exam period) and I was wanting to find some university studyblrs!

Although I love high school studyblrs and can give heaps of advice I need some motivation and tips for my level!!

So if you’re a uni studyblr reblog this/follow me and I’ll follow you back!!

Good luck to all those sitting exams right now!!

I completely understand Jude and I don’t understand why everyone feels like they have to define “what they are” they are all people. That’s what matters. They are in an environment were everyone is supposed to be accepted, but for some reason everyone is still being so obsessive over labels and acting like Jude has a problem because he doesn’t want to define himself with a category. I love that they are all proud of who they are and comfortable with themselves, but jeeze, just have fun and stop focusing on “what” you are!!!!

3

He glared at her. ‘I’m being an asshole?  Coming from the girl who claims she loves me, ignores me for a month straight, then shows up outta East Jesus no where and claims she’s an alien?!   I’ve dumped girls for pretty stupid reasons, but I NEVER went that low.’  He yelled.

‘Whoa, I’m not breaking up with you..–’

‘Save the bull crap, Serenity!  You’ve done nothing but lie to me for years now.  If you want to dump me, just do it the normal way.  Quit looking for some pitiful way out of this that will make you feel better about yourself.’

You save yourself from the raptors

Okay first I wanna say I love when Owen is all protected of the reader and stuff it gives me life but girls can save themselves and well just read it to see what I mean


You are a badass, and well no one knows that. Your always quite only talking when you are talked to or when it’s needed. Yeah the guys you worked with you liked you, you make them laugh when you had small talks, your best friend out of them was Barry. The raptors always liked you for some reason, you could get close to them and they wouldn’t try and kill you. You never tried to go in the paddock but you were aloud to get close to them. You were mostly always the last one to leave, you would always go see them and say goodnight and talk for a little bit, it was easier to talk to raptors then to people.


Today was all the same, you were standing near Owen as he told the girls what to do. You really liked him, you liked how much he really cared about the raptors, he didn’t want to use them. Even thought you liked him you’ve only talked to him like three times. After training was done he walked off the cat walk and after a few moments of you standing on the catwalk the pig got lose and the newbie ran to get it and you fell. You didn’t remember how because everything happened so fast, then you show three raptors in front of you, wait where’s the fourth one, there four you thought to yourself.

Finally blue came out, you looked at her. You knew she was the beta, after Owen she’s the one the others would follow.

You put your hand out to her “hey blue” you said as calm as you could “you remember me right? We’re kinda friends” you too her

She walked closer and touch your hand and the others calmed down and walked off. Not to your knowing Owen open the first gate and opened to second one he was going to save you, but you saved yourself. You backed up to the gate and Owen pulled you in fast then closed the gate.

You were inches away from his face and he asked you “are you okay?how’d you do that?”

“Yeah of course I am” you told him you really didn’t know how it happened

He let go of me after he realized he was still holding you really close “well you should help me train them, we could talk about over dinner or something” he asked you smirking

You laugh at him “you ask that to all the girls?” Asking him

“No just the ones I like” he says and winks at you

You roll your eyes at him and say “fine” you knew he had a rep at the play boy of the island


((If you guys want I’ll make a part two))

3

This is sort of drabbly, but this morning I was thinking about Jensen being up in Vancouver already and how he is probably already missing Jared. Maybe he had a few beers and started reminiscing and decided to put together a playlist for Jared that chronicled their relationship through lyrics. This is what I came up with. Seems like the kind of playlist that one Texas boy might send to another… 

Sideways would be the perfect song about when Jensen realized that he was not just going to be able to brush off the feelings he was having for Jared. I’m On Fire, for when he couldn’t stop thinking about him all night. Wonderwall and In Need for when he was helping Jared through tough times and starting to see that Jared might feel the same way. The Promise and To Make You Feel My Love for the moments the Jensen began confessing his love. I Cross My Heart for all the promises they have made to each other through the years about the strength of their relationship. Please Forgive Me to let Jared know that even though they aren’t together right now he is doing nothing but thinking of him.

J2 - Thinking About You Playlist

anonymous asked:

speaking of "big man on berk", do you have any opinion on astrid's behavior regarding the whole crush thing? it's been a while since i've seen her be so goofy

YAS! Oh by the Norse pantheon, keep asking me about this episode! I LOVE “Big Man on Berk”!

Astrid really is being goofy and silly here. She does have a sense of humor, though it does not come to the forefront as frequently as it does for some of the other teens. I think the reason she is so vocal, laughing and joking about the situation, is because she is relieved Snotlout is not hitting on her anymore. Astrid has suffered for years under Snotlout’s ridiculous flirtations and it’s great to see him hitting on another person.

And it’s not just any person. It’s Fishlegs freaking Ingerman. Snotlout has always been very mocking of Fishlegs in the past. It is a sudden, unexpected, and hysterical turnabout to sudden see Snotlout fanboying over FISHLEGS. It is the funniest thing ever to her! Not because of Fishlegs’ position in all of this, but because of how Snotlout is acting - Snotlout is basically embarrassing himself in his fanboying, and it’s the best thing ever for Astrid.

Astrid cannot help but mock and make jokes about it. She’s never been a Snotlout fan, and now she gets to watch a comedy where Mr. Jorgensen goes head-over-heels for someone he used to mock.

You Know,

When Miles Morales was first being announced, there were numerous rumors about him actually being gay/ bisexual….And then I started to read the numerous hilariously closed minded posts on blog sites like–”he can’t be both black AND GAY!!”  As if its somehow IMPOSSIBLE…which makes me just literally laugh until my sides hurt.  As if two minorities  is just too much.  As if Miles would’ve been some sort of UNICORN.  Yes it would’ve been a lot to add to a 13 year old (no ones saying he should have a gay romance at that age) but it would’ve totally added more dimensions to him I think. 

I understand that for target audience reasons marvel went on the route they went on, so I’m not mad at all I love him just the way he is!!! But its really the fandom that really just has me taken aback with its logic half the time...


fixingherhaze asked:

My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. And I've just been having the most shitty time ever. I miss him. I want to be loved and I feel just really alone. I feel like I'm falling apart. When will things get better? I'm so tired of feeling this way. In some ways I do actually feel like killing myself because I just can't find a reason to happy. Idk what to do. Please please help me.

I know what it’s like to lose the person you love, and I know what it’s like to not want to live without them. I read your message multiple times trying to figure out what to say because a few years ago I was in your position. Now I’m saying this as a person who went through this as well, I want you to know that right now it will hurt. It’s going to seem impossible to go on with your life without him in it but darling you will survive. You’re going to have bad days and you’re going to have good days, it’s going to be an absolute roller coaster of emotions but you will get through it! You’re going to find someone who will love you and cherish you and make you wonder why you ever thought that this guy was the one for you, there are plenty of guys out there who will happily take his place. Stay strong lovely, you can do this.

anonymous asked:

I noticed that starting with sworn to the sword (and I did check reformed), the credits music gets more instruments to it (like in season 1A)

Wait nevermind, it’s just that reformed’s credits sound subtly different than the rest of season 2’s for some odd reason

huh, you’re right, for some reason “Reformed”s credit theme is lacking a few instruments that are present in the rest of Season 2′s ending themes. That is odd. Especially since you’d expect Season 2′s ending theme to have a progression like Season 1A’s did, since that was an instrumental version of Love Like You. Weird

Totally didn’t just binge suzie-guru fics about the aDORKable Marianne&Bog. *cough*liesandslander*cough* For whatever nonsensical reason I thought I wouldn’t like “All That Jazz” AU (CRAZY I KNOW BUT FORGIVE ME) so Imma lil late on the 1930′s fantastical romance but ooooooooo. <3 *drools*

AHEM.

Anyways. I’m obsessed. I need to go to like some Strange Magic rehab or something… ormaybejustfindmorefriendswhoarejustasobsessedwithitasme?maybe?pleasebeouttherefriennnnnddddssss</3

So I was going to do a more colour block style but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I love lines too much. <3 Can’t wait to finish this doodle up, and btw no Strange Magic fandom I did not forget Bog’s stubble… imma take my time with dem scruffs. <3

coffeealltheway asked:

I feel a bunch of negativity coming from you. I know part of the reason the ending feels like shit is because of SS but maybe you should try to focus on the good side of it?? The part that made you love Naruto :) hope you can love it again

*sigh* ..

the fact is .. I don’t want to love Naruto again :/. When a thing ended, just ended. I can’t love Naruto again because it was ruinend in my view. I still love some characters, but the old ones, because now they were trashed. Naruto was ruinened and it can’t come back as how it was before :/

I’m sorry if you feel negativity from me but it can’t be helped. I’m trying to get out of this shit is true, but sometimes I still need to rant about it here :/ And I can’t be positive about this crap at all …