for shitz and gigglez

Dating
  • Emily: I think it's time for me to date.
  • Lorelai: [chokes on her drink] Oh, my God!
  • Emily: I want to go on a date.
  • Lorelai: With... a man?
  • Emily: No, a weasel. Of course with a man!
  • Lorelai: [tries to cover her ear with a free hand] I'm not hearing this.
  • Emily: Why shouldn't I date? I'm still a viable commodity.
  • Lorelai: I need a paper towel and a valium, please.
  • Emily: There are plenty of men at the club who, in the past, have made their interests in me known. I just need to figure out how to reciprocate their feelings. You have a lot of experience with men. How do you let them know that you're available?
  • Lorelai: Well, one of those bench ads usually does the trick.
  • Emily: Lorelai, stop it. I need help here. It's been years since I did this, and I don't remember the proper procedure. Now, take me through this step by step. You see a man, you walk up to him, and you say...
  • Lorelai: Hello.
  • Emily: Is that too forward?
  • Lorelai: No, it's the appropriate way to indicate you're open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.