if you sit back and look at how i spend my sober time it’s actually distressing. what 21 year old should be living every day dosed up on tranquillisers stronger than her body can handle, knocked clean out so she doesn’t have to feel the pains in her body from emotions way out of control. hiding her from dangerous objects and shielding her from truths because they may trigger her. she can’t think with ease or even understand the thoughts she finds most of the time, but this is her normal you know. she’s never had it any other way so she doesn’t see why people get upset about it. she feels either the maximum of any given emotion coursing through her body leaving physical distress or absolutely nothing at all, she doesn’t know which is worse after all. when she doesn’t feel she doesn’t care, she doesn’t relate and feels inhuman. when she feels she doesn’t know how to express it properly or at all, either it swells up deep in her chest or it bursts from her every move puppeteering her to an extent. she can’t cry or feel any wrongdoing she’s committed, she only feels empowerment and pride, they consume her at times but she knows that’s wrong. she knows right from wrong, she knows etiquette and manners, she knows so much more than she shows because of her cloudy foggy mind losing her from time to time. she’s self aware of every symptom, every trait and every situation. she has a skill to get anything she wants but she knows not to abuse it, like she doesn’t choose to abuse the symptoms and traits that result it manipulative, controlling, using and narcissistic behaviour that’s often undetectable to the basic unsuspecting mind. although drowning in illness and suffering herself she gives every part of her she can to helping anyone in need because she knows that’s right, it may not feel right but what she knows is more logical that what she feels, she learnt eventually. she is struggling but she believes there’s help out there for her, she just has to find it. so she will keep searching until her heart stops beating and even then, there’s always resuscitation, right? until that help is discovered or handed to me i have no choice but to rely on substances to make me feel happiness once or twice a week, and if that effects your judgement of me then so be it, but i’ll enjoy my spells of happiness and functioning when i can and to the limit, it makes the rest of time somewhat manageable. thanks for listening to me vent once again, for the countless time.
honestly there’s no shame if you have a huge magnum dong but please be aware and please raise awareness of the damages and mental scarring a poor vagina faces when letting a huge magnum dong enter her palace and meet the royal family.