bones "I AM A CROTCHETY OLD MAN" mccoy completely unaware of his universal appeal 😂😂😂 yessss
YES. YES EXACTLY. BLESS YOU FOR ENABLING ME.
Bones rolling up his sleeves in the section he has to TA at Starfleet and the first three rows of students (his sections are jam. Packed) collectively let out this little sigh. And he pauses and looks suspiciously at them because what godforsaken mischief have these young’uns come up with now? But all he sees are open, adoring faces. And maybe a little drool
OMG SOME CADET PULLING AN INDIANA JONES ON HIM AND WRITING ‘LOVE YOU’ ON THEIR EYELIDS AND BLINKING REAL SLOW IN CLASS.
Jim has to give a speech to welcome the new crew contingent onto the Enterprise, and all his senior staff are there. And of course ALL of his senior staff are very handsome and all the cadets are starry eyed, but Bones is genuinely surprised by the number of what he thinks are weird looks turned his way.
“Jim, that kid has looked over here five times in as many minutes. What horror story did you tell ‘em?”
“Nothing, Bones, he just wanted to know who you were” *shoulder slap*
The Enterprise receives a distress call from some random planet experiencing an epidemic, and Bones beams down with his team to do what he does best. And the heir of the royal family is one of the first to get treated, and she starts spending a LOT of time around the makeshift clinic trying to figure out ways to help and generally be there in person as often as possible, and at the celebratory dinner she takes Kirk aside for a little bit after the seventh toast to Dr. Leonard McCoy, Hero of the People. And Kirk comes back grinning and sits down next to Bones and claps him on the shoulder and says “hey, so the crown princess totally just asked me permission to pursue your hand in marriage.”
Bones chokes on his drink.
And it starts getting to Jim, it honestly does, because HOW CAN BONES NOT KNOW? Bones will flirt, sure - he’s had one or two dates in the last year of Starfleet when the divorce stopped being so raw, and Jim likes to believe he got laid at least ONCE during their acquaintance because four years with no sex sounds like James Tiberius Kirk’s personal version of hell. He calls people “sweetheart” and “darlin’” and acts like a gentleman when the occasion calls for it because it’s Bones and that’s what he does.
But whenever someone - especially anyone in the average cadet age range - starts actually making overt advances, Bones backs down. He’ll either grump them off or find some way to let them down easy. Jim loves going out for drinks with friends, but Bones seems to have stuck himself into the role of permanent wingman. Whenever a pretty girl or guy actually sticks around for a second drink, Bones always sort of ends up shouldering them off onto Jim. Which is great for his love life, it really is, but he’s not that selfish a friend no matter what anyone says.
“Why not go with them?” he asks. “They seemed really into you.”
“Are you kidding?” Bones knocks back another shot. “He was only talking to me so he could hang around you.”
It gets to Jim. It honestly does.