I sadly couldn’t watch the stream, but it looked hella interesting from what I’ve seen so far! xD I saw this moment in gif form and I had to get it out of my system. This is totally rushed and ew, but eeeeeyy, something different! (cri)
anyway, my apologies. I’m back now and ready to fuse myself with my tablet for realsies. ovo
so what happened was, i wanted to see what his hair would look like closer to a platinum color, and it was so easy to change the color…so I did…many times. It’s not my fault photoshop makes it so easy to do this shit.
So, @pale-silver-comb wanted a continuation of this post from @soldieronbarnes wherein Stiles suggests that Derek needs to get laid because his moodiness is making all his betas antsy. It’s not!fic style in the interest of being able to post this now and not next month…
So, Derek knows that there is more going on than the fact that he’s sexually frustrated. He knows there’s something deeper that’s making his wolf feel on edge; there’s a connection he’s longing for, but he knows that he can’t have it. He can’t ask Sti- someone to give up a chance at a normal life, a life not tied to an Alpha who is still learning, who can’t guarantee a safe, happy life.
And he knows he should say no. That he shouldn’t allow them to fall into each other. He even knows that whatever having sex with Stiles will give him, whatever glimpse of his dreams he may find by getting lost in Stiles’ arms and his kisses and the feel of all that lithe muscle and pale skin under his fingertips, it won’t be enough for his wolf. Could never be enough.
But he also can’t say no. He can’t pretend that it’s not what he wants.
Sex with Stiles is everything he always imagined it would be: passionate and intense and perfect. It’s heartbeats pounding in counterpoint, the sweet slick glide of lips dragging over warm skin, teeth and tongues and smiles pressed into one another. It’s quiet moments after, breathing into the scant space between them, wrapped up in each other as sweat cools on their bodies and the kisses slow, hands absently petting and soothing. It’s magic.
It even works for a while.
Derek’s wolf is calmer for the first weeks, and his betas are happier than they’ve been in ages. They work together better than ever, and they feel more like a pack-a family- than they ever have.
Except the thing that was really wrong before, the thing that was radiating through the pack bonds and driving them all crazy, wasn’t Derek’s need for sexual release. It was his need for his mate.
And having tasted Stiles’ skin, and felt him all around him, he is more certain than ever that his mate is Stiles (not that he had doubted it in the first place). Unfortunately, having had the time to bask in Stiles, his wolf is increasingly frustrated with the lack of consummation of the mate bond. And so is Derek, honestly. So soon, the magic of their physical connection starts to not be enough, and they all start falling apart. Again.
Stiles dives into a research spiral, hating that he’s failing Derek, failing his pack. And terrified that he’s going to lose Derek. Lose their intimacy, lose the soft moments after they come, the way that they gravitate toward each other even outside the bedroom, the casual touches that are increasingly frequent and feel like they’re building something. He finds the answer, because of course he does. That’s what Stiles does, he finds the answers.
Derek needs his mate. Being with Stiles isn’t working. So obviously, that means Derek needs someone who isn’t Stiles. He pretends he isn’t devastated, but no one is fooled.
Derek is ready to let Stiles go, he knows he’ll figure it out, knows he’ll find that he’s Derek’s mate, and he knows that Stiles wants more than being tied to him, to the disaster that is Beacon Hills. He’s ready to let him go. To let all of them go, to save them from his wolf’s restlessness and misery.
Self sacrificing morons that they are, they dance around the issue as long as they can. They probably agree to one last farewell fuck, but they can’t keep their feelings out of it, can’t keep the desperation from their movements or their kisses, can’t keep the tears from brimming in their eyes, or their fingers from griping a little to tight, clinging and unwilling to let go.
Obviously, it all spills out, and the acknowledgement that there’s more between them, that their connection is soul deep and eternal, fated, it’s enough to make Derek’s wolf howl in contentment, make it settle beneath the surface and leak calm and control and satisfaction through the pack bonds. Enough to strengthen them all.
This got more fic-like than intended? Thanks to @rhysiana for bringing this lovely inspiration to my attention!