for real and a damn day

I was talking to my English teacher about new mutants the other day and I mentioned Xi'an (“the Vietnamese disabled gay one that I love”) and she was like “they just took… everything… and put it into one character’ and I’m like no they took a character and made her like a real person, that is to say diverse

I am tired of half ass weak relationships. I’m not looking to get into a
“non-relationship” relationship. I want a real, genuine, raw, love. I want consistency and commitment not someone who’s gonna keep up a routine for about a month and afterwards let it die down, I want to be able go about my day carefree and not have to worry if you’re entertaining someone in a way you know damn well you’d get upset if I did the same. I want consideration. I want you to think about me throughout the day, respect me and keep in mind how your actions might affect me, and us as a whole. If you’re busy all day that’s fine, but just try and let me know so i’m not sitting up having my mind travel to unconventional places. I want growth. The point of a relationship is to learn, expand and grow from it so you can create a true bond with each other. I want to be able to build something great that’s not all just for show. I want communication and maturity. I want us to feel comfortable talking to eachother so that if there is an issue or problem there won’t be any hesitance to open up with eachother. I want us to be able to confide in each other and say things that we’ve never admitted out loud. I want to have a strong level of trust and honesty. I don’t want to have to doubt your intentions or your motives, I want to be able to tell and show you things that others don’t have access to without regret. I want to be comfortable to my core with you. I want us to work our asses off, get this money and go on vacation together. I want laughter, effort, and unforgettable times, phenomenal sex and even better conversation. I want to be claimed and shown off, not by social media but from you. I want to be appreciated and celebrated. I want thoughtfulness and passion. I want the love between us to beam and radiate so strong that it’s undeniable. I want this to be mutual. I want love. not lust, not a situationship, not “idk what we are but your mines”. I want love. So if you cannot and are not willing to put in the work to create that with me, then leave me the fuck alone.

what i thought when i watched  “ a date with markiplier “ video

  • BONJOUR 
  • wait … we can choose our story 
  • wow … i actually have a valentine date this year 
  • that chef does not look friendly 
  • WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MARK AND MONEY IN THIS GOD DAMN DATE 
  • romance or horror ? you mean love or death right 
  •  looks like i am gonna spend the rest of the day finding all the endings
  • oops i accidentally killed mark
  • well looks like dark is my date now
  • DON’T DO THAT WITH YOUR NECK MISTER  
  • wait .. is that Tyler with mark on his face ? 
  • wait whAt ?!? nooo i wanted to marry mark for real 
  • could you imagine dating mark ? 
  • nice pony tail mark 
  • LET . HIM . DIG . THE . GOD . DAMN . HOLE 
  • it litterily 10 min of this , help 
  • “ let me see what in your pants “ “ excuse me ? “ 
  • wow i actually killed someone 
  • “ looks like you choose wrong “  “ naaah i’m good “ 
  • sooooo are we gonna talk about tyler’s ass ? 
  • oops killed mark again 
  • FIRST RULE OF HORROR MOVIES : never . split . up 
  • am i the only one who tapped the screen like an idiot 
  • did i mention i killed mark 
  • wait , i am  allergic to peanut butter AND tuna , HEELP 
  • OMG WARFSTACHE IS BACK !!!! 
  • DAMN IT ! i knew i was a dog all along 
  • *sigh* what the hell was in that dinner 
@markiplier
EXO Runs a Strip Club

((  Click here for the Yelp reviews of XXX O.   [1]   [2]   [3]   [4]   [5]  ))

[  // Masterlist //  ]


// Xiumin

  • has two jobs: the bouncer; also a late-night stripper once the doors close and no more customers are allowed inside
    • has a death stare that sends away the riffraff and a seductive lip bite that draws in more customers
    • he has one show per night, often the closer, and customers who know about it always stay to see it
    • hangs out behind the bar with The Dragon when he isn’t working
    • likes to listen to customers tell him about their day, and sometimes will let them touch his abs for free to cheer them up
    • he is rarely available for lap dances, and those who buy them pay top dollar
  • official stripper name:
    • “Sexy Hyung”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Bodyroll Central”
    • “XiuDaddy”
    • “Bao Chika Wow“
    • “He Was So Cute Before, What Happened?!”

Originally posted by breakin-machine


// Suho

  • job: club owner
    • gives his employees pep talks every evening before opening hours
    • talks to customers to make sure they’re having fun, asks them what improvements they could make to the club
    • also gives private shows on weekends to high-paying customers
    • “Touch $uDaddy’s abs for five minutes in a private room” is available for only $50
    • “Touch $uDaddy’s abs for five minutes in a private room while he sings to you” costs quite a bit more
    • dad jokes are always free
    • he treats his employees and frequent customers like a family
  • official stripper name:
    • “$uDaddy”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “JunMoney”
    • “The One Who Had Abs Like A Greek God But Still Managed To Turn Me Off With The Dad Jokes”

Originally posted by fy-sexo-exo


// Lay

  • job: main stripper
    • when dancing on stage, he’s been known to make customers fall out of their seats, and then he breaks character to rush over and make sure they’re okay
    • doesn’t seem to understand the impact he has on customers
    • choreographs new dance routines every week
    • once in a while, he will dress up in a multi-piece sheep costume and dance while taking it off
    • was surprised when he was awarded “Employee of the Month” the first month the club was open
    • his private strip show consists of him doing certain parts of the MYM choreography on customers (costs $250)
  • official stripper name:
    • “Z Y XXX”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Sex Devil in Sheep’s Clothing”
    • “180 Degree Yixing“
    • “The Really Nice One Who Always Grabs His Crotch”

Originally posted by biaswreckertrash


// Baekhyun

  • job: bartender
    • takes frequent breaks to visit the DJ’s booth, claiming he has to make sure the DJ is properly hydrated
    • is good at making drinks quickly, but makes the most messes and drops a lot of ice on the floor
    • flirts his way to very, very high tips
    • also lets customers spank him for tips
    • makes customers feel like they haven’t spent anything so they spend more
    • strips on slower days, when the bar doesn’t need as much attention
  • official stripper name:
    • “BaekBomb“
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Delicious Bacon“
    • “Baekhung”

Originally posted by baeksilisk


// Chen

  • job: bartender
    • always excited to come to work
    • teases the customers about their orders, but they always forgive him when they see his smile
    • talks to sad customers and cheers them up, sometimes gives free drinks
    • makes customers blush with compliments and when he says he wishes he could give them lap dances, but he has to stay behind the bar
    • is good at keeping track of who has and hasn’t paid, and gets Sexy Hyung to kick out the bad customers
    • cheers loudly for Sexy Hyung’s closing show
    • also strips on slower days, and likes to show off his booty
  • official stripper name:
    • “The Dragon“
  • unofficial stripper names: 
    • “Bicep God“
    • “Seriously, Look At His Arms”
    • “Tyrannosaurus Sex”

Originally posted by purpleuhan


// Chanyeol

  • job: DJ
    • winks and smiles at customers from the DJ booth, can only flirt with body language since he’s far from them
    • is a really good hype man for the shows, and has a great voice for announcements
    • sometimes he plays his own compositions instead of the playlist approved the managers
    • once, he got up on stage to dance and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared.  He was almost fired that day
    • so now, he does his own little shows from the booth, unbuttoning his shirt and biting his lip at customers.  $uDaddy allows it
  • official stripper name:
    • N/A
  • unofficial stripper name:
    • N/A

Originally posted by mrluhan


// D.O

  • job: manager
    • works with $uDaddy to keep the club running
    • his advertising methods have brought the club more customers than they can sometimes handle
    • keeps the club very, very clean
    • always wears a suit, no one has ever seen him without clothes on
    • never tries to seduce the customers, and is usually out of sight
    • once in a while, a customer will request him for a lap dance and when he declines, they get so sad that he gives them a free drink pass
    • frequent customers have made it their mission to see him strip one day, and he claims it’ll never happen
    • the most he gives is a shy hip thrust or joking body roll, which gets them excited anyway
    • sometimes often always watches Silver Wolf’s shows and gives him praise afterwards
  • official stripper name:
    • N/A
  • unofficial stripper name:
    • N/A

Originally posted by kyungsuhos


// Kai

  • job: main stripper
    • his routines last the longest, and he does the same ones over and over, but they always keep the customers’ attention
    • prefers to be on stage rather than to give lap dances, so his lap dances cost the most
    • $uDaddy has had to tell him to tone down the sexy because he’s too damn sexy and he doesn’t want customers to get hurt from fainting
    • he claims it’s impossible to turn down the sexy, and has to apologize to customers every night for making them faint
    • when he’s on the floor with customers, he makes them feel good by laughing for ten minutes at their jokes
    • when he’s not dancing or on the floor with customers, he’s keeping the manager company
  • official stripper name:
    • “Silver Wolf”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Rude Boy”
    • “Extremely Rude Boy”
    • “So Flexible, So Sweaty“
    • “The One Who Made Me Fall Over Because He Winked At Me”

Originally posted by luhan-vevo


// Sehun

  • job: stripper
    • customers underestimate him until he gets on stage, then they throw all their remaining money, sometimes their entire wallets
    • is the most requested stripper for lap dances
    • sometimes likes to talk and laugh with customers when he’s supposed to be giving them the booty, but they usually don’t mind
    • gives customers sass when they tip him with coins
    • $uDaddy watches him to make sure he isn’t too sassy the customers who aren’t as nice
    • few customers who request “The Maknae Thunder Experience” can talk about it, until weeks after (it’s very intense, and very expensive)
  • official stripper name:
    • “Maknae Thunder”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Boba Butt“
    • “Cheeky Devil” (because of his booty butt cheeks and his cheekiness with the customers)

Originally posted by helensmovingcastle

Who would you request for a lap dance?

so like, i know this is tacky, and i hate to be that person, but can we also remember that One Day at a Time is Cuban? People don’t talk enough about that immigration episode. Elena being gay is so amazing and seeing queer latinx is incredible and so fucking needed. She has blessed us all. But let me tell you, the cuban story being spoken about doesn’t happen and that’s why misinformation about C.astro has spread and why after his death a lot of non-cubans were in my inbox not understanding the situation and shocked at how little they and the world actually knew. That episode was real. Everyone in my life has a story like that. That’s a lot of Miami’s story and it made me so damn emotional and happy to know that so many non-cubans were gonna get a chance to hear us represented. So can we not erase that too? ❤️

Let’s be real. On the day of his own wedding, 707 would be the kind of guy to Naruto run down the damn aisle.

Real Talk : Idols can't do shit.

I see why KPop idols don’t put their REAL selves out there, like letting fans know they actually turn up and drink, smoke, have sex (gasp!), like to party, are attracted to this or that woman, they have to act like innocent, little Angels 24/7 and be so rehearsed to please you little judgmental, annoying little snot nosed kids.

I see some (I hope I don’t make this situation even worse by even bringing it up sigh) kpop “fans” bitching about Vernon wearing a bottom diamond grill in his mouth and jamming to rap music, chilling with his friend, being his self, but Noooo some people (I wouldn’t call fans) are complaining claiming “Oh he’s drunk”, “Noo He’s drinking” “I’m disappointed” “I’m embarrassed” blah blah blah (he was not drinking in the video thooo so wtf? even if he was, he’s legal to drink now anyway so…)“He’s appropriating Blacks” (by wearing a grill in his mouth) ok first of all, everybody and their damn mama wear a grill in their mouth these days, I don’t give a fuck about that, you want to talk about REAL appropriation, people taking from us and claiming it as their own in the entertainment world, that’s real appropriation, people really throw that word around too lightly these days,  you need to look it up on youtube, it’s deeper than a damn bottom grill in his mouth, I don’t see him claiming shit, You really don’t know Vernon, who called people out on racism and has the wokest mom that called out the media on appropriating Black people and defends Black people so hard all the time on her account, so you not about to drag Vernon today Satan over a 12 second clip and make him seem like such a bad person for turning up, damn little nigga can’t turn up and have fun?

I wish these so called “fans” would stop judging these idols so harshly, and always trying to start drama, is your life that boring?

LET ‘HOOD ASS VERSON’ OUT HIS SHELL! DAMN! YOU WANNA SEE AN INNOCENT CHILD? GO TO THE PLAYGROUND! SHIIITTTT. and yes I fucking said HOOD ASS? You gonna get mad about that too? I don’t think we know the same Vernon? cuzzzz his ass ALWAYS been like THIS.


As some of you may know, I’m writing my dissertation on prosumers and its ethical implications using this fandom as a case study, and my supervisor asked me to write a diary page titled A Day in the Life (of a 1D Fan) to show how and why it’s exhausting. And oh, man. As I put it in words, I realised for the first time just how much we do every day. It sounded exhausting, when I reread it: we literally treat it as a second job, often putting our actual real life commitments aside. We’re connected all the time, either on Tumblr, or on phone trees, group chats. Now, no employer would ask their employees to be on 24/7, and yet we do that. For free. No holidays, no weekends. Even Anne Hathaway told Miranda to fuck off at some point, and yet here we are: every day, especially during promo times, we do an unreasonable amount of, literally, unpaid work. Project No Control? Systematic, organised, large-scale marketing promotion. Just Hold On? Same thing. Damn, City employees work this much, and they have to do **** to keep up with their rhythms. Two professors of mine - to MA Professors, with PhDs and years of work in the promotional industry - have told me, clearly, that, if what I’d told them about us was true, and it was, we are the wet dream of any large corporation. (And those large corporations? They know that. And they don’t care about the ethics.)  I was reading the document I had written and it even READ tiring. You deserve a break from time to time. Don’t feel bad if you’re tired or if you need to log off once in a while, k? You’re not letting Louis or Harry down. Personally, I’m still here because I was always here to support two boys - four boys - and I’m still here for that, because I take pride when Steve calls us an army of bees, when Louis beams when he talks about us. I do it for them all. But at the same time, it’s tiring. It really is. And sometimes you might need a break, and that’s fine. 

dirk, who loves artificial orange flavor but spent his entire life on a tower in the middle of the ocean and therefore has never tasted an actual orange, one day finally gets the opportunity to taste a real one, fresh and ripe from jades garden, and, again, having no experience with real fresh fruits or vegetables, lifts the damn thing to his mouth and just takes a bite, rind and all,

one of my only real issues with studyblr is that it just ?? makes me want to study everything ?? like i’ll see a law student and be like,, damn I wanna learn law now !! or i’ll see a medicine student and decide I want to learn medicine or see a physics student and decide I want to be a physicist and I just ??? want to learn everything ever ??

Y’ALL MY MOM IS SO COOL

she just called me, STILL FURIOUS, and told me how she was getting her hair did and her hair lady was talking shit w/ another customer about how trans people are ~so much~ wanting to ~use public restrooms~ like they’re ~human beings~ or something

and my mom

my fucking mom

tells her transphobe hairdresser that she doesn’t want to hear this shit, that this woman needs to be more mindful of who her potential customers might be, that she has no right to be saying shit like this when it’s something that real people have to struggle with every fucking day, and that she (my mom) is leaving

my mom leaves without even getting her damn hair dried

and transphobic hairdresser tries to say “I don’t have a problem with it I just don’t want it shoved down my throat” and my mom goes “well I don’t want your opinions shoved down my throat” and LEAVES.

and while she’s telling me this story I, an emotional gay, also start crying, because I knew my mom cared but I didn’t know she cared that much, and I told her how great it was that she did that when I have trans friends whose own parents wouldn’t have done that, and she goes “I know! And all I could think about were the kids who have to deal with this every day and how angry it made me that these baboons were talking about them like that!” and then I sobbed

tl;dr my mom eats transphobes for breakfast 

“A Secret That’s Worth It” Carl x Reader, Negan x Reader

Word Count: 9,670

Negan x Daughter Reader, Carl x Reader

Summary: You’re Negan’s teenage daughter and from the minute you saw Carl, he sparked your interest, leading to a relationship between you two.

Warnings: Language, fluff, angst, mentions of death, kinda smutty 

A/N: Does not follow the show exactly, I had to change up some things for the sake of the story, but I tried to make it as close as possible.


Originally posted by lets-letmeimagine-posts

Originally posted by lets-letmeimagine-posts


He was the first person you noticed when you stepped out of that RV.

He was wearing a flannel and a cowboy hat, and even with one of his eyes covered up and it being dark out, you could see how bright blue they were. You didn’t know his name, but you certainly were attracted to him.

Your father, Negan, had told you to stay inside the RV while he went out there and talked to them. He had told you that he was going to kill one of them and that he didn’t want you to see that, so you needed to stay away.

“Y/N, I do not want to see you out there. Your ass better stay in here, alright?” Negan had warned you. You didn’t listen. You had heard him talking to their group, and you got curious. All you wanted to do was see what they looked like, nothing more. You opened the door slightly and peeked your head out, making the attractive boy turn his head and look at you. They all did, but he was the only one you noticed.

“Dear daughter, did I not tell you to stay inside?” Negan bellowed. You knew he was trying to scare the group- that was his way of being a big, bad leader. He intimidates everyone. And by the look of everyone’s face, they were definitely afraid.

Keep reading

scarletnightwalker  asked:

Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. Lately I've come across the healthy/unhealthy personality types. Though I know, that I'm an ENTP, I would like to learn, how you can tell whether they are healthy or not. Would be great if you would explain this. Thanks in advance PS.: I'm not sure, if this is the right place to ask my questions, so correct me if the 'question' section isn't the right one.

It’s the right place. All the mods are pretty chill coz we’re awesome. :)

Unhealthy NTP: never finishes anything or focuses on the details (zero follow through), uses their Fe to manipulate people (you’re soft, and a pansy, and making you fall for my BS is so fun, maybe I can even get you to cry by pointing out how stupid your ideas are!) or intentionally hurt them rather than forge genuine connections or take into consideration people’s feelings.

Healthy NTP: knows which ideas are better than others, in order to focus on bringing them into fruition and either commits to them long-term by selecting a creative partner (Ne/Fe) or giving their ideas away to others who can nail down the details. Is logical but gentle in correcting others, mindful that people’s feelings matter and it’s important for others to genuinely like you in life, in order to get things done (and because it’s the nice thing to do). Realizes they’re prone to hyperbole, short term interests, and exaggeration, and learns to laugh about it, but also acknowledge it and work on fixing it. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NFP: never finishes anything or focuses on details (zero follow through), follows their heart without regard for the consequences, using that to justify hurtful behavior (I don’t care what you think, I fell out of love with you, so I can cheat on you all I want, I’ve done nothing wrong, this is who I am, just deal with it or get out), refuses to take blame for their part of the problem, may intentionally offend others, and doesn’t care about anyone but themselves.

Healthy NFP: knows which ideas are better than others and seeks to bring the best ones into the world through healthy engagement of goals, deadlines, and process of elimination (Te). Sets personal deadlines for self, and beats them, in order to stay motivated. Understands what drives them most, slows them down, or angers them, and commits to doing something about it. Learns such things as “tact,” when dealing with others, but also when and where to defy social norms and stand up for oneself (does that really matter? is it worth a fight?). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NTJ: becomes obnoxious in pushing their “vision” on others or asserting they know everything (including your motives) while devaluing your feelings or beliefs, often sneers at people who make emotional decisions, and sometimes passive-aggressively attacks people’s ego or intelligence that they do not like (okay, stupid, I’m just going to make you look like an idiot, while correcting every damn thing you say, all day long, until you run away and cry).

Healthy NTJ: has a fair, balanced, and open-minded approach to life, is willing to listen to others’ ideas and offer practical thoughts on them, but is neither arrogant nor pushy about their knowledge, expertise, and logical detachment. Chooses when to correct others with care, and never does so to humiliate, only to educate. Respects others’ feelings even if they personally feel that the other person is making a mistake. Focuses on taking their ideas and goals and making them real. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NFJ: total detachment from reality, while stubbornly clinging to the belief that their irrational interpretation is “the truth” (and the ONLY truth) (It DOES make sense, you’re just too stupid to understand it!), and resorting to a “you’re either with us or against us” mentality, which manifests in creating a single universal (sometimes abstract) enemy and trying to recruit others to join their cause against them / you (bad Ni and Fe).

Healthy NFJ: has a fair, balanced, and open-minded approach to life, accepts their interpretation may be unrealistic, but is committed to bringing their ideas and visualizations to life, often by recruiting others to a positive common cause. Uses their understanding of others’ motives to uplift rather than tear down, and becomes a source of compassionate and guiding “wisdom” for friends (I worry about you choosing this path, and here’s why…). Never recruits others in any negative ways against someone who disagrees with them. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy STP: irresponsible, reckless, and hedonistic, engaging in short-term behaviors that leave a wake of destruction behind (broken marriages, families, and violated responsibilities), often using Fe to manipulate people to get what they want (hey, I’m super hot and I’ve seen you ogling my backside, so I’m going to wear something that accentuates it so you’ll give me what I want in return one of these days; I don’t care how wrong it is) and then dumping them like hotcakes.

Healthy STP: knows life has much to offer and not only enjoys it but helps others loosen up and try new things, but commits to the people, beliefs, and jobs that are most important to them, for the long term. Understands and respects others’ feelings and seeks to connect to them through that, as well as develop their own ability to communicate. Learns the art of tact and when to use it (is it worth correcting this person or does it matter?). Tries to think about the long-term consequences of impulse, before engaging in it. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy SFP: irresponsible, reckless, and hedonistic, going through jobs and romantic relationships like wildfire, abandoning people every time they get “bored” or feel unattached; justifies this behavior with selfish reasoning (I just don’t love you anymore, so I don’t have to treat you with respect); unable to be counted upon by other people, since they never show up or follow through; refuses to take responsibility through their actions and doesn’t mind offending others for no reason at all.

Healthy SFP: is good at self-entertaining and eager to try new things, and infects others with a similar excitement; is good at pushing people out of their comfort zones and encouraging them to aim high for their dreams. Has a strong sense of personal beliefs, and is willing to commit to other people, and prioritize them in relationships. Knows when it’s appropriate to defy social convention, and when it’s better to dial back the “but this is just who I am!” and chill. Sets personal goals, deadlines, and achievements, and sticks with things, so they have something tangible to show for their time (Te). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy STJ: refuses to adapt or change even when their world implodes; may try and “force” or “strong-arm” others into their point of view. Has little interest or respect for people’s feelings and doesn’t mind crushing them on their way to success, but may also play the role of a martyr in the process (since NO ONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE AROUND HERE, I HAVE TO DO IT). May become irrational or paranoid with lower Ne, and turn into a pessimist.

Healthy STJ: uses their extensive past experience to figure out what will and won’t work when dealing with life and problems, but is also open to new ideas, trying out new things, and experiencing what “lies beneath the surface” (Ne). Tries not to shut down ideas until they have considered them. Is practical, efficient, and logical, but also respects people’s feelings and doesn’t intentionally try to hurt, shame, or control them. Becomes able to share what they need emotionally with others, rather than playing a martyr (I would like it if you would take the trash out; since I’m doing this other thing, it seems fair, and it would make me happy). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy SFJ: refuses to change or adapt, while clinging stubbornly to their idea of “how things were,” while struggling to control their emotions; may resort to being “fake” in order to manipulate others, to “us vs them” thinking and overt moralizing (if you don’t agree with us, you’d better change your mind or face the consequences, because we can’t let you hold such a wrong point of view and will punish you for it).

Healthy SFJ: uses the past to form impressions about people and situations, but changes those perceptions based on new experience; is open to new ideas and beliefs, and willing to look beneath the surface (Ne), with the aim of making those things “useful and tangible” in the real world (how can this idea apply to life and improve our situation?). Learns the art of “polite affirming correction,” which helps others become better, while not shaming, humiliating, or insulting them for their behavior. Aware not everyone needs to agree, and comfortable with those who don’t; never recruits anyone against anyone else, or adopts a mentality of “let’s get that person, together.” Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes. 

- ENFP Mod

anonymous asked:

so...a Victuuri version of that Adam Scott, Mark Hamill clip needs to happen y/y?

“38.7 million views in 24 hours. Do you know what that means? You beat Adele. You beat the Avengers. You beat that Psy video where he wears harem pants and pushes people off treadmills. You are in a very exclusive club, my friend.”

The audience laughs, and Yuuri should laugh too, but Kerry Washington’s skin is perfect and he can’t stop staring. And her teeth are so white that they don’t even look like teeth. It’s like when he was writing his thesis and spent so much time staring at the opening sentence of the discussion section that he had to check four times to make sure he spelled “the” right. There’s a name for that sort of brain malfunction, but hell if he knows what it is. 

Keep reading

Binding safety things.
  • “I can bind as much as I like, I’m having top surgery soon so that’ll just get rid of any problems it causes-” nope. NOPE NOPE NOPE. Not only does soft tissue damage make surgery both more difficult and risky, binding too much, for too long, over even just a year or two can weaken muscles supporting your ribcage so when you stop binding after surgery, you’re at risk of things like hairline fractures- and worse, up to and including a couple horror stories that include punctured lungs. Do not use “but top surgery!” as an excuse to bind while sleeping, for more than 8-10 hours a day maximum, or 365 days a year without one single break. Not binding sucks- but we all gotta do things that suck for our health sometimes, grit your teeth and do not fuck up your lungs and ribcage.
  • Nonetheless, your risk assessment needs to be different if your timescale is less “five years til top surgery” and more “binding for the rest of my life”. I understand some women bind for reasons of gender presentation and such without plans to get surgey, plus of course there’s some AFAB trans people who either don’t want or can’t get top surgery who plan to bind indefinitely. Understand that this means you need to plan ahead for a lot of possible risks and complications that are less prominent for people using binding as a short-term gap, that the effects of very long-term binding are barely known and potentially severe, and that thirty years on, if you are still doing it, there are going to have been consequences for your body. This is NOT to say, “don’t do it”. Do it with a full, informed, adult understanding of what the risks are or might be, and be prepared to take those on. Keep a sharp eye on your body’s well being. Do it carefully. Be prepared for the risks, because yes, they exist. You can take them, that’s fine, but don’t pretend they aren’t real and serious.
  • Don’t wear a binder that is a size too small because the correctly sized one “shows too much”. Lung capacity is fucking important and you will crack a damn rib one of these days if you’re not careful. Do not overexert yourself in any binder; if it hurts or you feel faint or whatever then STOP, IMMEDIATELY. If you exercise in one, wear one at least a size up and throw baggy shirts on over it. Wear a velcro one if you can for working out so you can undo that shit ASAP if there’s an issue. If you go swimming in a binder, have someone spotting for you, make sure there’s a lifeguard at the pool, etc. You aren’t going to enjoy your wonderful transition very much if you, god forbid, wind up being in a serious accident because you’re suffocating yourself slowly.
  • You can bind safely. That is to say, you can bind while minimizing the risks as much as possible, til you reach a point where it’s reasonable for a well-informed, sensible person to weigh them up and take said risks. You cannot bind 100% consequence free. That’s all.
  • And look, just to get a bit tough-love for a second: “but if I don’t do all those things, my dysphoria is so bad I can’t cope” is something I fully, entirely sympathize with. It also means you gotta start working on management techniques so that ceases to be the case, NOT that you should just accept totally batshit levels of risk for the sake of your mental health. The solution to “my dysphoria is so bad that it destroys my life if I don’t bind in my sleep and wear it two sizes too tight” is not and should never be, “so I do it because it’s all right if I know accept the risk”. That’s not responsible, mature behaviour. It’s fully, entirely understandable. But you need, NEED to instead take the longer, more difficult path to finding healthy management techniques to improve your mental health and wellbeing so this is no longer the case, or else it’s going to bite you in the arse. You want to reach the end of your transition with the body you deserve, so you can finally feel right in it? Then look after it. Transition doesn’t give you a new body, it makes the one you’re in right now fit better, so look after the one you’re in.
Priorities (Smut - Jeep sex)

MASTERLIST

Request: A massive amount of people wanted more car sex, so here we go. 

Word count: 3,021

Priorities (Smut – Jeep sex)

“Are you kidding me?” You whined as Shawn put the last bags of food in the trunk.

“Sorry love”

“You seriously want me to get in the back because your guitar has to be on the front seat?” You stared at him, honestly thinking he was messing with you right now.

Keep reading

hey

some real non-toxic weight loss tips for ya!

negative calorie foods aren’t real

if you only do cardio you’re gonna be really flabby cause you lost ur muscles first

you wont get bulky from lifting low (10-15lb) weights you will just lose fat faster

you can drink too much water 

fats are not your enemy oh my god! if you eat fatty foods you stay full all day

you can lose up to 2 pounds a week if you eat a whopping 1,200 cals a day. seriously.

not eating enough slows metabolism = slower weight loss

the more carbs you eat the hungrier you are gonna get during the day

take ur damn multivitamin

you will be fine if you cheat on your diet once or twice. you wont gain anything from eating a single piece of cake. you could die tomorrow enjoy your life

lose it slow for minimum skin sagging

fruits have a lot of sugar, cut them out if you are taking the proper vitamins

spot training isn’t real you cant just lose it in one place

stress can make you retain weight. so, ironically, if you’re worried about losing all the time you will just lose it slower

track your weight loss with weekly measurements. The scale is addicting and usually inaccurate and you will feel a lot more accomplished this way.

Your ideal thin self with a wonderful life doesn’t exist. Its still going to be you but just a little smaller. Learn to love the you right now cause you are all you got.