because of the sheer magnitude of the universe, there is almost definitely a constellation that, from one angle, looks exactly like sonic the hedgehog giving shadow the hedgehog a handjob while wearing a diaper
Okay, so I’m finally back from my business trip and have had a chance to think about the XF S11 news a little bit. Here are my notes so far (I’m sure there will be more blathering to come):
To Chris Carter: Please treat S11 like it’s your last go at this rare, beautiful concoction of talent and chemistry. Stop assuming there will always be time, actor availability, and audience appetite for The X-Files. THIS IS YOUR LAST KICK AT THE CAN, CHRIS. Resist the urge to tease the audience, set up new stories you can’t finish, and think you are leaving us breathless with a new cliffhanger (fyi: you’re just pissing us off).
Regardless of its many past imperfections, make our last thoughts about The X-Files be, “Chris Carter came through for us in the end.”
To Gillian Anderson: Babe, I honestly don’t care if you dye your hair or not, but please don’t wear another wig that pains you, distracts the audience, limits your ability to emote, and inhibits finding Scully. Please watch some old episodes, particularly those between S1-7. Find her. Dana Scully is much loved.
To David Duchovny: Please stop deferring to Chris for writing/story choices. You gave us the The Unnatural baseball scene, the touchstone scene, the Existence kiss on the lips. Fight for us. We need you on this.
To the fandom: Manage your expectations. We are not going to get a love scene. We just aren’t. (I’m sorry, but I am your friend and I’m telling you the truth.;) This is The X-Files. We are also not going to get a coherent, overarching serial that will tie up neatly, with a bow on top at the end.
But hopefully we’ll get a few small moments that will entertain us, make us think, and remind us of how much we love these characters. The X-Files, as long as Chris remains showrunner, will never be as good as it could be. So it’s going to have to be that intrinsically flawed child that you love so, so much anyway…warts and all. You’ll need to decide if you will spend every post-ep flipping tables because it isn’t living up to its potential (or even the quality of average TV shows today) or whether you can embrace the little moments that remind you of why TXF gripped your soul in the first place. Maybe the next time Mulder asks Scully…there will be an iced tea in that bag.
Jules: Adult human male, please don’t assault him.
Danny: No way! Did you hear what he said about your mother? Maybe I should remind him of how I stopped him from coming around. Maybe I should give you what I promised to all those years ago. Want a reminder, Zach?
Jules: I know, you’re upset but please think of the consequences.
Danny: Consequences? You have no idea what he’s done, what he’s said. I’m going to remind him of the consequences!