for public use

“And if this missive at all troubles Mr. Phelps, he may feel free to present himself at his convenience to have a go if, upon consideration, he believes himself to possess sufficient fortitude.”

(with thanks to bethjellicoe over on Twitter for this one!)

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So I love how much of a Tolkien fan Stephen Colbert is and still to this day my favorite interview from the Stephen Colbert Report is when James Franco rematches Stephen to a Tolkien off and gets schooled. 

Anyways I headcanon that England is a huge Tolkien fan as well so everytime he comes on Stephen’s show they also have Tolkien off that always end in a tie. 

Now A while back Ryan Goslin was on the Late Show and his mom finally stumped Stephen at his own game (Here’s a link to the clip I’m talking about) and I just wanted to do a fallow up on that where England get’s crowned the biggest Tolkien nerd

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  • somebody: wow! such a nice and warm weather, it feels like spring!
  • me: nice
  • me, muttering under my breath: shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's JANUARY it's not supposed to be this warm yet!!!!!!!!!!! global warming is HERE and our cold snowy beautiful winters are forever history!!!!!! yet we are doing NOTHING about the case!!!!!!!! and even if we did something trump is the president of united states now and he's going to FUCK everything UP because his climate decisions will affect EVERYBODY!!!ON!THIS!PLANET! this weather is not _NICE AND WARM___ WHAT THE FUCKKK it's the awaiting HELLFIRE THAT'S RADIATING HEAT UPON US SO SHUT UP
  • jikook 2013: who are you?
  • jikook 2017: i'm you, but stronger

Short list of things my dad did in his highschool/college days

  1. bought an elephant for the principle
  2. built a wall in front of the principles office. Like an actual wall with bricks and stuff.
  3. hot-wired (?) the car of a teacher, parked it around the corner and put a broken fridge in the parking lot instead
  4. he and his friends stole somethingelse from a teacher and asked for beer and a chocolate cake as payment to give whatever they took. Maybe it was the car. I forgot.
  5. made a teacher cry with his fellow school mates by building a wall of chairs in the class room

and as a little addition stuff he didn’t do himself but which happend at his school;

  • people throwing firecrackers (is that a word) through windows during class
  • seniors taking all of the stuff from the younger students and putting it on trees with clothepins

Idk but shit was wild back then